The moment you tell a monster's story, that monster becomes a man. Such is true of some of entertainment's most iconic villains, from the tragic Darth Vader—reimagined as a blubbering delinquent in the Star Wars prequels—to the cunning Hannibal Lecter, a monster of a man reduced to a puppy in a Christmas sweater thanks to Hollywood's obsession with humanizing the inhuman.

Luckily, the gaming industry doesn't play by the same rules, and Nintendo's upside-down-L-sporting oddball Waluigi is the perfect example of how an air of mystery serves to make an already unsettling character downright disturbing. Though he's appeared in around 40 Nintendo games alongside staple characters like Mario, Bowser, and Peach, the lanky bizarro Luigi has never quite taken to the spotlight like his peers. Heck, even Waluigi's partner-in-crime Wario has played protagonist in over a dozen games.

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I'm thinking Waluigi's absence from the A-list may have something to do with the fact that he's the embodiment of every childhood nightmare ever. Here are 15 disturbing things you didn't realize about Waluigi.

15 Manufactured For Malice

Unlike his contemporaries who've called the Mushroom Kingdom home their whole lives, Waluigi just kind of popped into existence one day—and nobody batted an eye. In fact, he was “manufactured” to play a specific role in a specific game due to a specific problem: the development team couldn't decide which of their beloved characters should fill the uncomfortable role of being Wario’s doubles partner in Mario Tennis. Waluigi wasn’t even created by a Nintendo employee—he was developed by Fumihide Aoki, an employee at Camelot, the software company that collaborated with Nintendo on the Mario Tennis games.

There's something off-putting about imaging how this slimy guy in greasy purple overalls just appeared out of nowhere one day, swinging a tennis racket around and claiming to know the Mario Bros. It gives rise to more than a few ominous questions: How did he truly come to be? Was he the result of a Luigi cloning experiment gone horribly awry? And if there's a bizarro clone of the guy in green, does that mean there's a whole city underneath the toadstool metropolis bustling with the likes of Wapeach, Wadaisy, and Wayoshi? And what about evil clones of evil clones? WaWaluigi? And evil clones of them!?

I think I need a nap...

14 History In The Breaking

When it comes to making a believable villain, there’s nothing more telling than a twisted origin story. Yes, contrary to that whole diatribe about how humanizing n’e’r-do-wells ruins their magic, sympathetic antagonists can make or break a story’s realism—it’s creative writing 101. Well, Camelot’s Fumihide Aoki must have skipped class that day. Maybe that’s why Waluigi seems so ominous and otherworldly—he doesn’t have an origin story. The fact of the matter is: we don’t know a single thing about this guy.

While all of the other main characters in the Super Mario universe have been portrayed as babies—including Wario, who appeared in diapers in Yoshi’s Island DS—Waluigi has only taken one form: the creepy, lanky lunatic we love to loathe.

OK, so maybe he isn’t a clone—maybe he’s, I don’t know, a tulpa... Or an evil Luigi from an inverted, parallel dimension… Or he’s a skinwalker... Or maybe...

13 WAA-sochism

OK, so, technically, that last point isn’t 100% true—we do know at least one thing about how Waluigi came to be who he is today. Or, rather, how he came to resemble the freakish, lumbering horror that haunts our every waking moment.

According to “Wario’s Warehouse,” a series of articles that appeared on Nintendo of Europe’s website from 2001 and 2003, Wario straps Waluigi into medieval torture racks to stretch him out and make him taller. Yup—this dude’s literally disfiguring himself to appear even more like an exaggerated version of Luigi. I mean, Luigi isn’t even that tall. He’s just taller than Mario. And Mario is, like, what? Two feet tall? It’s basic relativity, people...

Anyway, this kind of self-mutilation sounds like something out of a gritty, hard R Batman comic—kinda like when Dollmaker sliced The Joker’s face off so the psychopath could wear his own decaying skin as a mask. Know where this brand of extreme body modification doesn’t belong? Well, anywhere—but least of all in a video game series about magical plumbers and sentient mushroom babies. Yuck.

12 Keeping It Old-Cruel

Not gonna lie: I don’t play Nintendo games for their artistic value, and neither do you. Their characters' designs are iconic, sure, but that doesn’t make them exciting. So it comes as no surprise that Waluigi’s particular look is far from creative. Or unique. Or original. Ok, so his whole shtick is pretty much a total rip-off of a well-known rascal from yesteryear.

While I can’t imagine there was a ton of wiggle room when it came time to design a Wario-esque doppelgänger for Luigi, it doesn’t seem like an accident that his design, personality, and overall role in the Super Mario Bros. franchise parallels that of another mustache-twirling villain: namely, Dick Dastardly of Hanna-Barbera Wacky Races fame. Whether or not Aoki intended to bite the old-school cartoon heel is besides the point. None of us would be shocked to hear that this WAA-cky waste-of-space tied Penelope Pitstop—or, Princess Peach, rather—to a set of trolley tracks just outside Dipsy Doodle Des—erm, I mean Dry Dry Desert.

Coincidence? Yeah, probably. Still—they’re both jerks. Big purple jerks.

11 Ele-MENTAL

It’d be easy to explain this one away by arguing that everyone in the Mushroom Kingdom has access to powers that allow them to more or less bend the elements to their whim. The thing is: Mario can’t shoot fireballs unless he snags a fire flower. He can’t fly through the air without his trusty tanooki suit. We as gamers share an understanding that elemental powers come from their respective items. And without these items, “human” characters are limited to jumping around and squishing evil mushrooms with their butts.

So, does the fact that Waluigi can literally swim through the air in arrogant defiance of our most basic natural laws prove that he is not quite human? Well, probably not—but his ability to manipulate the elements without the use of any magic items is an uncanny, inexplicable power that flies in the face of all that we hold sacred. Did the mystical power arise one day after he ingested a particularly mysterious mushroom? Did the purple creep get his greasy mitts on the Necronomicon? Who knows.

10 Un-WAA-quited Love

Everybody deserves love, right? Right—except for the evil version of you from a Hot Topic dimension that harasses your friends at every opportunity and obsesses over your girlfriend, like, right in front of you, what the heck, man. According to weird fans with bad taste in couples—oh, and I guess the official Prima guide for Mario Party 4—Waluigi has a massive crush on Daisy, Luigi’s girl.

Now, personally, I’m not sure if Waluigi is capable of having a “crush.” Maybe a “total obsession bordering on an unshakable desire to tie you up in a basement,” but not a crush. Thankfully, fan-favorite Daisy hasn’t given into his repulsive pursuits… yet. Which may just be one of the many reasons behind his bitter resentment for rival Luigi.

9 Fashion Victim

Being evil ain’t easy—it takes hard work, calculated planning, and a nifty outfit. That’s right: making a name for yourself in the world of villainy is like surviving high school—it requires fashion sense. It’s a fact (ish)! Maybe that’s why Waluigi never really rose to the ranks of “Supervillain” or “Galactic Overlord.” Or, who knows? Maybe it’s because his signature symbol is super-not-even-a-little-subtle and in another language. What a dummy, right?

Fans have long speculated about the letter on Waluigi’s hat. While nobody denies that it is, in fact, an upside-down L—in theme with Wario sporting a W, or an upside-down M—eagle-eyed fans have pointed out that it also resembles the Greek letter gamma, “Γ.” Well, Gamma plays an important role in probability theory, signifying entropy—or “uncertainty,” “chaos,” and “volatility.”

Uh-oh—looks like we got an edgelord over here...

8 Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man

I’m not one to tell you how to live your life, but if you want to stay out of the poorhouse you’ll keep your vices—including gambling… especially gambling—to a minimum. While gambling is rarely portrayed in a positive light in video games and on TV, that doesn’t mean that every card shark and crapshooter is a bad guy. Well, Waluigi is a bad guy. And not only is he a gambler, but he and co-conspirator Wario are two of the Mushroom Kingdom’s most notorious thieves—if their behavior in the Mario Party spin-off games is any indication.

Take for instance their Mario Party 7 vacuum orb, a unique—if unoriginal—roulette-based item that the con men use to steal players’ coins. Now, thievery and gambling aren’t necessarily “disturbing,” but Mario Party 7 is a kid’s game—it’s not Fallout: New Vegas. So when the youngins witness two weasels like the Wa boys getting ahead by hustling and burgling, it could inspire them to take up the ol’ Tommy Gun for a trip to First National.

Good job, Waluigi. Little Timmy’s a bank robber now.

7 Plunder-Achiever

He may have only, uhh, burst from a rumbling pentagram… 17 years ago, but Waluigi had been featured in tons of Nintendo games since his birth via… I’m gonna say... blood magic ritual? From his role in Dance Dance Revolution: Mario Mix—where he starred as the game’s big bad—to an appearance in Nintendo’s venture into Super Mario Bros. soccer, Super Mario Strikers, he’s become a fixture of the franchise with as many rabid fans as haters.

But despite his recent cult (anti)hero status around the internet, he’s yet to star in his own game, even though both his rival, Luigi, and his best friend?—brother? cousin?—Wario, have helmed their own successful projects. Talk about an underachiever.

I can’t be alone in imagining a game where you play as Waluigi, haunted by his innermost existential horrors, as he attempts to navigate the barren, nightmarish landscape of his own vile psyche. Neither could this guy. (See? Not alone.)

6 Luigi Must Die

Imagine: Wherever you go, whatever you do, the creak of footsteps follows close behind you… The echo of tattered elf shoes taunts you as a fine sweat begins to soak your green cap. You try to outrun the shuffling, but you soon find yourself racing a shadow—it scampers between buildings, poking its head out from ominous alleyways… You watch over your shoulder wherever you go for the slinking silhouette. You listen for the cackle of the madman wearing a twisted reproduction of your wardrobe… you sniff the air for the rancid breath of the lanky figure sneaking behind you, lurching closer and closer…

Such is the everyday dread of poor Luigi. Or, well, kind of. Probably not. But still, it must be tough knowing that somewhere out there in the vast expanse of the Mushroom Kingdom lurks your evil doppelgänger hellbent on exacting his revenge for... what, exactly? Who knows. The fact that Luigi himself hasn't the slightest clue what he and this maniac are duking it out over makes Waluigi’s torment somehow even more disturbing.

5 More Issues Than Vogue

Everybody knows that Waluigi is a cheater—but he’s a hypocrite and a loudmouth too! I know: an ideal assembly of idiosyncrasies. Not only does he constantly—and loudly—accuse other characters of cheating whenever he finds himself losing a golf match or a Mario Kart race, but, ironically—and totally unsurprisingly—he also has a proclivity for bragging about his own dishonesty, shouting about how he’ll be sure to cheat next time.

Now, determining whether or not this trifecta of troublesome traits actually constitutes “disturbing behavior” depends solely on Waluigi’s level of self-awareness. The fact that the purple pest is known for being the brainier of the two Wa’s makes a huge difference. Why? It suggests that he is fully aware of his treachery—and he just. Doesn’t. Care. You know, like a really cool guy without any psychological issues.

4 Skeezy Weejee

From his big, bulbous nose and tight, ill-fitting overalls to his twisted rat’s tail of a mustache and droopy (and, somehow, still shallow) eyes, Waluigi isn’t exactly poised to win any beauty contests. In fact, the internet loves to joke about how Waluigi resembles an, erm, “offender”—you know, the kind that’s legally required to knock on doors around the neighborhood announcing he just moved in down the street. He even tops lists dedicated entirely to chronicling video game characters who look like pervs. And while these accusations may be based entirely around his skeezy appearance and his obsession with a certain brunette princess, there may be some truth to them. After all, Waluigi seems like the only character in the Super Mario Bros. universe who is aware of his... “nether-regions.” And yes, this wild speculation is based entirely around that one vulgar victory pose he pulls in Super Mario Strikers—his signature crotch chop.

Just read that again: “signature crotch chop.” If you’ve got a “signature crotch” anything, it’s probably best you keep your distance from, you know, schools and playgrounds and stuff.

3 WAA-t’s In A Name

Like your special-ordered Pocky tumbling out the back of a delivery truck somewhere between Tokyo and the states, things tend to get lost during the export process. The same goes for language—hence, the expression, “lost in translation.” Well, speaking of things we wish had fallen out of a truck and stayed in Japan…

Waluigi’s Japanese name is “Waruiji”—close enough to his English name, albeit with the “L” swapped out for an “R” (it’s a Japanese thing). Innocent enough, right? Wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong. If you take “Waruiji” and switch around the katakana characters, you wind up with “Ijiwaru,” or “cruel/sadistic/unkind.” Yup, Waluigi’s name is an anagram for “sadistic.”

Technically, this one’s not Waluigi’s fault. In a series with characters boasting unfortunate names like Goggley-Blade and Fawful, the big brains behind Super Mario Bros. character development don’t have the greatest track record when it comes to catchy monikers. Still, just because we shouldn’t, that doesn’t mean we won’t blame Mr. Sadistic. It’s just so easy.

2 Straight From The Voice Actor’s Mouth

If you’re familiar with the entertainment business, you know that actors have little say in the creative process. They’re a pretty face—or a pleasant voice—and they have little to do with the character development process. But in the case of Waluigi’s voice actor, Charles Martinet, you’d be dead wrong. Martinet is intimately familiar with Nintendo canon, considering he voices nearly all of the main male characters including Mario, Luigi, Wario, and, of course, Waluigi.

Martinet has gone on record, admitting that, underneath all of the villain’s boastful bull, Waluigi’s key personality trait is “self pity.” That would explain his cowardice, dishonesty, hypocrisy, jealousy, and the rest of a laundry list of character traits that would earn anybody a full-page profile in a psych textbook. Makes sense that the guy at the other end of Waluigi’s gritty croak of a voice would have his own head canon.

1 Brothers In WAA-rms

Most people don’t realize that the old phrase “blood is thicker than water” is a misquote. The original expression is actually, “The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb,” suggesting that the bonds formed in battle are more powerful than the random family relationships into which we are born. With this logic in mind, I suppose we can excuse the utterly disturbing, confounding, and otherwise inexplicable fact that the so-called “Wario Bros.” are probably not brothers at all.

Just as Waluigi’s origins are veiled in obscurity, there are conflicting reports about his relationship to Wario. Some sources claim that they’re cousins (Mario & Sonic at the Olympic Winter Games) while others allege they’re brothers (Mario Tennis: Prima’s Official Strategy Guide) or even lovers (the weird parts of the interweb).

Personally, I find Charles Martinet’s personal theory—that they’re simply "two nice, evil guys who found each other"—to be both the most adorable and most absolutely disturbing theory out there. The idea that these two creeps could have randomly stumbled onto one another and joined forces to take down the Mushroom Kingdom’s favorite plumbers gives me the straight-up heebie-jeebies.