Maybe it’s just me being the old miser I am, but I remember a better time. A simpler time. A time when people would gather together, the whole family would share the same bathwater on a Sunday night, and we’d actually damn well talk to each other. Have conversations. Remember conversations? Those were the freaking days, my friends.
Here in the crazy, tech-tastic world of 2017, nobody talks anymore. We’ve got smartphones surgically attached to our hands, our mood is dictated by whether Justin Bieber’s posted a picture on Instagram for us to fawn over in the last hour or not, and we speak only in memes. Nothing the sci-fi writers promised would have happened by 2017 actually has. How do you like my fancy-ass hover boots? You don’t, because I don’t damn well have any. McDonalds don’t even deliver yet. At this point, I’m seriously wondering whether it’s worth renewing my subscription to life for 2018 or not.
Still, those are the breaks. That’s the cost of this Internet-amundo world. You’ve got instant access to all the seedy ‘adult entertainment’ you can handle, but you’re also doomed to be subjected to endless videos of piano-playing dogs. On the plus side, I have to admit that some of these memes can be pretty darn good. From cats hazing cheeseburger to much darker fare, there’s something for everyone in the meme world. If you’ve got a sense of humor as twisted as mine, you’re sure to dig these 15 Inappropriate AF Video Game Memes You’ll Feel Guilty About Laughing At.
15 Falcon Punch!
Has there been a more iconic gaming meme of recent years? When F-Zero’s beloved pilot and way-tighter-spandex-than-I-want-to-be-looking-at-wearer Captain Falcon hit Smash Bros, he came with a pretty darn awesome move in tow. The Falcon Punch is a huge, fiery punch as slow as a sloth’s bowel movement, which deals huge damage and knockback to anyone it happens to hit. Most importantly, it’s accompanied by a badass howl of FALCON PAUNCH from our hero himself.
The PAUNCH meme’s use has died down a little now, what with it getting old and new ones having to infest social media and all. There’s always space to resurrect such a classic, though, when it’s used right. This particular use is so wrong that it’s very, very right. That’s dark, right there.
14 Studly Ryu
If you’ve any experience with the Street Fighter franchise of late, you’ll have seen more than enough of Capcom’s dastardly and bastardly business practises. The game’s premium costumes are the equivalent of Call of Duty’s weapon skins, entirely useless cosmetic money-spinners. With the obvious exception of Sexy Studly Bearded Ryu.
Since this costume (as far as pair of Hulk-style nope-I’m-not-naked-at-all shorts qualifies as a ‘costume’) was revealed, it’s been brilliantly meme-worthy in its own right. To hear the internet jokers tell it, this rugged Ryu is gloriously mantastic enough to instantly impregnate any woman who strays within 500 yards of him. My favorite use of the concept would have to be "You must defeat that ass to stand a chance!," referencing both Ryu’s classic game over screen quote (you must defeat my dragon punch to stand a chance) and beardy Ryu’s butt. Which is, naturally, as Beyonce once said, too bootylicious for ya babe.
13 The Sims Soccer Mom
In the utterly batcrap crazy world of The Sims, the things that players get up to can become memes in their own right. This is a series that allows gamers to be as innocently encouraging or horrifyingly twisted as they wish to their tiny charges. Usually, of course, you’re not nurturing your Sims to be successful, emotionally fulfilled and happy individuals, you’re torturing them relentlessly until they’re crying in the fetal position on that awful rug you picked out for them. In a puddle of their own pee. Masochism is the hallmark of Sims play and nobody embodies that whole idea better than The Sims Soccer Mom. Man, this one just warms my heart. It’s like a beautiful Disney-esque tale of the strength of motherly love, only with more washing machines and other kids pissing themselves.
12 'Better Drink My Own Stuff,' For Honor Edition
Just in case you need a little slice of context for this one, that’s Bear Grylls right there. The British explorer, survivalist and general ginormous nutbag is famous for all kinds of ludicrous feats. You know, wrestling a family of alligators armed only with a toothpick, trekking through the Amazon rainforest for seven years with only a spool of floss and the underpants he had on, that sort of thing.
He’s best known, however, for drinking his own piss, which he has done to survive many of the absurd situations he’s put himself into. The meme-makers of the web took this pee-drinking ball and ran it to the end zone, making quaffing urine the solution to every difficult problem he faces.
If you’ve seen the rampant ganking in For Honor’s 4-on-4 modes, you’ll know how vicious it can be and what a damn uphill challenge you’ve got on your hands in a 3- or 4-on-1 situation. Sure, better players can overcome this with canny use of the revenge mechanic and such, but a lot of the time only pee-drinking will do in this scenario.
11 Captain Falcon Sexual Harassment
And here it is, the pose that launched a thousand dodgy screenshots. Our old buddy Captain Falcon has already shown up elsewhere on this list and is a bit of a walking meme machine all round. Whether in his home series or Smash Bros, he has very few soundbites (well, that’s putting it lightly, he’s about as talkative as Arnold Schwarzenegger in the first Terminator movie), but everything he does say is pure gold. Show me your moves!
Sometimes, he doesn’t even have to speak to go viral. All you need is a suggestive arm-raisy pose, a newly boobtastic Zero Suit Samus and a little spare time to mess around with character positioning and timing. This is how great memes and characters’ unfortunate sleazy reputations are born.
10 Am I Disabled?
Ah yes, this is another brilliantly offensive one. If you’ve ever gamed online, in just about any title with the functionality, you’ve probably fallen victim to this one. It doesn’t matter if you’re playing Call of Duty or Barney the Dinosaur’s Super Cutesy Funland Adventure, random players online can be massive, steaming a-holes.
I’m not one to get into the whole tryhard/casual/hardcore thing. Gamers can define themselves however they like. The problem arises when they try to pigeonhole you themselves and/or when your sorry butt falls short of their standards. This beloved meme --from the episode where Homer eats himself to hyper-obesity levels so he qualifies as disabled and so can work from home—is often used in situations where players screw up and teammates and opponents alike abuse the hell out of them for it.
9 The Sad Demise of Club Penguin
As we saw earlier with the whole ‘walling up the opposing team behind a washing machine barricade’ thing in The Sims, some games’ communities themselves reach an odd kind of legendary status. It’s rare for this to happen, but it does.
Remember Heath Ledger’s untimely death and how it provided impetus for celebration of his iconic role as The Joker? It’s a similar deal here. The news of Club Penguin’s impending closure got us all to reminiscing, swapping stories about our experiences with the long-running service like a couple of pensioners bitching about their arthritis and corns or whatever.
The cutesy penguin-amundo MMO has been running since October 2005 after all. It’s being reborn at the end of March as a mobile-only experience, but it’s been having a great swansong of late in the shape of these viral images. Here’s my favorite, and probably the most inappropriate.
Now, there are a lot of ways to use Photoshop, many of which I disagree with. Models are altered, airbrushed and digitally screwed with to within an inch of their lives. Girls (and guys, let’s be fair) mess around with filters and such on all their selfies, so nobody would guess that they look like The Elephant Man’s uglier sister in real life. Most outrageously, cheap burger places do the same with photos of their products, to sucker you into buying what looks like a pizza Satan himself has already digested when it arrives.
Despite my cynicism, there are some opportunities that Photoshop is just made for. This shot is one of them. Who knew that an innocent image of two children playing in water could become the greatest and most horrifying take on the Mortal Kombat Fatality! Meme you ever saw? All it took was a little red.
7 The Trouble with Remasters
Here in the gaming world, we have a lot of first world problems to contend with. It’s a wonder we can sleep at night (in our comfortable beds with our fair amount of disposable income), when real horrors like extortionate season passes and on-disk DLC are running rampant.
Another popular bugbear for gamers everywhere is the remake epidemic that’s going around. For a good couple years, the industry has been pumping out HD remasters, reboots and remake by the billion. We’re drowning in the damn things. Which wouldn’t be so bad for nostalgia-minded players with a real investment in the title or series in question, if these releases weren’t usually so freaking lazy.
Oftentimes, it’s just a half-assed port, maybe with the textures prettied up a bit. The rest of the time, the result is a hideous train wreck of an abomination. What the hell happened to Assassin’s Creed 2 here, for instance?
6 Resident Evil and its Round Holes
There’s one of two possibilities here. Either this is an entirely innocent exploration of Resident Evil and its batcrap crazy nonsensical puzzles, or there’s a subtle dirty joke intended here. Either way, as a huge Resident Evil fan and connoisseur of every kind of toilet humor imaginable, I’m definitely on board with this one.
Round holes, huh? Slotting things into them? I’m cackling away like Beavis and Butthead already. Beyond that simple link, though, it’s interesting how else the word ‘inappropriate’ applies here. No franchise in gaming history has ever managed to make the inappropriate appropriate like Resident Evil does. Who locks their doors using curious carved insignias, after all? Nobody, that’s who. Nobody ever. Not even the secret societies in Dan Brown novels. I’m not sure what the locksmiths of the Resident Evil universe are on, but this sort of thing seems commonplace around here.
5 The Weirdery of Final Fantasy VII
Well, well, well. Final Fantasy VII. Nary a best video games of all time list will go by without this one making an appearance. The iconic JRPG has its detractors, its haters and its Sephiroth-is-a-mommy’s-boy-burn-in-hell-ers, but that’s always the case in gaming. Universal popularity is impossible. As Sad Fact of the Internet #2 states, there’s always someone sending you death threats (Sad Fact of the Internet #1, incidentally, is that erotic Smurf art is a thing).
Here’s another fact: Final Fantasy VII is a little nutso in places. In other places, it’s utterly batcrap crazy. Part of the game’s charm is its inability to take itself too seriously, however heavy the plot becomes. There’s time for planet-mangling meteors later, let’s indulge in a little crossdressing for now. Remember giving digestive medicine to the guy with the craps in the toilet at the bar, so he’d give you some fancy perfume? I do, my friends. I do.
4 When the Mods Go Too Far
As we know, there’s a certain band of PC gamers who like to call themselves the master race. They cite the technological superiority of their mighty rigs and look down on console gamers like they’re some hairy-assed Neanderthals with sabretooth tiger guts dribbling down their faces into their beards.
Another plus of gaming on PC is the modding aspect. This allows gamers to fiddle with titles as they please; add, remove and alter content, settings and modes as they wish. Modders can do some amazing things, sometimes surpassing anything the developers themselves came up with. Among the most popular additions, obviously, are nude mods, which have become a meme in themselves. But this. This. Why is this a thing? Was she impregnated by a dog? Is it just a regular pregnancy and the baby pops out as a puppy? The world will never (freaking want to) know the answers to these questions.
3 Creepy Ash
Ah, AY GURL. Is there any better romantic trainwreck of a meme? There isn’t, that was rhetorical. The sleazy come-ons and terrifying look of AY GURL himself make for some Grade A meme material, and this one’s pretty damn popular.
If there was a way to improve the whole thing, though, it’d probably be by adding Creepy Ash into the picture. Because nobody can resist a good peek-at-you pun, not even after two decades of them. Remember the old days of jokes about using Harden? And Pound? Turns out, they’re still as hilarious as they ever were. Also, for the record, Onix still looks like a giant stone wang and he’s never going to stop being proud of it. Oh, Ash, you charmer you.
2 Gamer Girls
Stop with all these BS stereotypes already. It’s 2017, grandpa, get your crap together. There are guys on dating sites who aren’t sleazy creeps hounding everyone for nude shots. There are teenagers who won’t slit your throat, set your car on fire and throw your Chihuahua out of a seventh story window if you walk within 50 feet of them. There are girls who aren’t ‘girl gamers,’ but actual girl gamers (no inverted commas).
Back in gaming’s infancy, it was more of a pursuit for lonely gauchos who stayed inside 24/7, eating slices of white bread straight from the bag with the drapes shut. But we’ve come a long way since then, and video games are a much more mainstream and accepted form of entertainment. Nevertheless, a little of that attitude still lives on in memes and a-hole’s minds.
1 When Dark Souls’ Messaging System Gets Dirty
Well, um… yes. That sounds like solid advice to me, whichever way you slice it.
The online functionality of the Dark Souls series is a curious thing. It has the usual co-op/pvp functions, but there’s the intriguing messaging mechanic on top of that. When you’re playing Bloodborne or Dark Souls online, you’re able to leave ‘notes’ just about anywhere in the game world. They’ll then appear in other players’ games in the same spot you left them. There are two kinds of note maker: the kindly, goodly souls who want to help their fellow man (with a ‘hidden path ahead’ or ‘beware ambush’ for instance) and the Souls Trolls who want you to crash, burn and have your plums chewed on by marauding demons. These are the guys who’ll tell you there’s an invisible wall in the area, just to make you waste half an hour bashing your sword against the side of a house.
The most important thing about these messages, though, is that you choose from a series of preset words and phrases to make a sentence, doing your best to spell out what you’re trying to convey. Hence the brilliant combination here.