It was 2003, and if you're a dedicated Star Wars fan, you'll likely remember this as a very dark age. The Phantom Menace had been released four years earlier, forcing Jar Jar Binks down our throats, and making us wonder what happened to the films of the late 70s and early 80s. We waited three more years, but Attack of the Clones (debatably) got worse, pushing a romance so bad it rivals Twilight. Okay, maybe that's a step too far, but Padme and Anakin had about as much chemistry as Luke and the Rancor.
2003 however, did offer some hope for the franchise, as Xbox and later PC gamers were treated to a magical tale that took us back over 4,000 years to another era in the Star Wars universe. We woke up on a ship that was under attack and from there, went about the galaxy on an epic quest to fight back the Sith who were on the warpath. The original Knights of the Old Republic was a masterpiece, and remains one of the best games of the 2000s.
We may never stop thinking about what adventures we could have had in a third installment. Could we have met Revan again? Could we have played as Revan while he ventured off into the unknown parts of space? Who would have taken over the leadership of the Sith after Nihilus, Sion, and Kreia were done away with by the Exile?
These questions have been answered in now non-canon Star Wars material, but we wanted to play them for ourselves. Here are fifteen KotOR memes that will make you nostalgic and leave you wishing for a third game.
15 Planet Killers Were Much More Efficient Back Then
As we just said, Kreia's major contribution to the game was disapproval, but later on, we found out that she was actually Darth Traya, and had used the Exile to regain her force powers after Darth Sion and Darth Nihilus had cast her out of their triumvirate. Sion just looked like a sinister gent who had been sewn back together a few times. He was gross, and scary, but not nearly as menacing as Nihilus.
Star Wars has seen plenty of machines that can destroy planets. The Expanded Universe had plenty of awesome destructive weapons, including Centerpoint Station, the Galaxy Gun, of course, the Death Stars and Starkiller Base. As the meme points out, bombardment from space destroyed almost all life on Taris, but Darth Nihilus fed on force-sensitive life for sustenance, including all life on entire planets. That is some disturbing efficiency.
14 Damn It, Disney
For many fans out there, the 1990s were a time of great uncertainty in terms of whether we'd ever see another new Star Wars film. We had seen the originals, but craved more, and thankfully, between comic books, novels, and, of course, video games, the Expanded Universe helped with those cravings.
The Knights of the Old Republic games are no exception, with tons added to the history of the Sith, along with the tale of Revan himself, and of course just filling in the timeline of galactic events. And then along came Disney, declaring the EU non-canon and calling it "Legends." Now they're rewriting the entire series and while they aren't doing a bad job of it, amazing stories like KotOR I and II have been relegated to this nether-realm of "Legend,s" and we miss them being canon. Yes indeed, Revan, we're all triggered by Disney's treatment of your story. We will admit, however, that with regard to technical canon, Star Wars Rebels did actually confirm that some key parts of KotOR remain canonical earlier this year.
Lots of people like to say that Star Wars: The Old Republic was the third game in the series. While the MMORPG isn't a bad game necessarily, it merely takes place in the same general time period, and actually has little to do with the original two games. Calling it the third game is inaccurate, as the third game was actually in the works but got canceled in 2004 when Lucasarts went through some significant cuts.
Four years after that, BioWare announced The Old Republic and our hope for one day getting to play the final game in this trilogy was effectively put in its grave. Fans may never stop thinking about this game that might have been but arguing that The Old Republic is KotOR 3 is just salt on a wound.
12 Want to Talk About It, Big Guy?
Carth Onasi becomes your first full-time (R.I.P. Trask Ulgo) squadmate in the first game, and quickly settles into his niche as a skilled fighter who goes out of his way to distrust everyone. Although he can hold his own, and is a gifted pilot with lots of military experience, he brings a lot of emotional baggage. We gradually find out that it all comes back to his former mentor, Saul Karath, who joined the Sith and became a great asset to them after decades of service to the Republic. Carth took this as a personal betrayal, and as of the start of the KotOR games, has trust issues.
His interactions with Revan last throughout the entire game, and it takes a ton of prying to get his entire story out. He always has something on his mind but just doesn't feel like sharing. Poor guy. If you play the light side, you can become best friends with him, but playing dark side is hilarious because you can actually make him run off in a fit of terror around the end of the game.
11 Jedi Masters Know The Force, Right?
While the first game deals with Revan's redemption, the second game tells the story of Jedi Exile Meetra Surik. She was a Jedi during the Mandalorian Wars and was present on Malachor V when the Mass Shadow Generator was activated (on her orders) and at the sight of all the death and destruction, severed her connection to the force. Throughout much of the game, it is left ambiguous how this happened. She thinks it was the Jedi council who did this to her as punishment for joining the war effort against the Mandalorians.
When she confronts Vrook, Kavar and Zez-Kai Ell throughout the game, they play it cool and generally pretend they don't know why she was cut off from the force. Later on, when she encounters them on Dantooine, they explain that subconsciously disconnecting herself from the force was the only way she could have survived the ordeal on Malachor V.
10 Shut It, Fishface
While the first game was pretty amazing, visiting Manaan was kind of a headache. The local Selkath (dirty, bureaucratic, catfish/stingray, jerks) were trying to play both sides of the galactic war going on and sell their precious healing substance "kolto" to both sides, in turn becoming too powerful and important to risk attacking.
The entire final mission on the planet dealt with the stuff, and the majority of your time on the planet was spent pandering to Selkath authorities who we contend that Revan, Canderous, and Juhani could have wiped out in less than a half hour, if we had the chance. This is a good meme, but it also reminds us of the most annoying planet in either of the games.
9 Something Ain't Right About This Droid...
While the thought of evil, maniacal robots that want to murder all humans for sport is a terrifying one, it is also funny, as proven by Futurama's Bender, and KotOR's HK-47. We first encountered him int he hands of Yuka Laka, a hapless mechanic on Tatooine. He seemed mild-mannered enough at first, but as we got to know him we realized he was no mere interpreter, he was a finely tuned assassination machine, created by Revan to be the perfect assassin droid.
His skills in combat were matched only by his sheer bloodlust and hilarious dialogue. At the same time, however, we couldn't help but think, after he had described his murderous urges, that we shared a ship with this droid. Was he going to lose it and shoot up the Ebon Hawk one day? Thankfully, he did not.
8 Probably The Best Character In The Series
We couldn't do a list of awesome KotOR memes without including this gem. We know we already mentioned HK-47, but an entire article could probably be dedicated to his many brilliant, and dark lines. We'll just list a few of the most evil of this awesome robot's homicidal quotes.
"Mockery: Oh, Master, I do not trust you! I cannot trust you, or anyone else ever again!" This was his impression of Carth.
"Shall we find something to kill to cheer ourselves up?" A quote that pretty much describes his demeanor throughout much of both games.
Finally, quite possibly his best line (other than the one pictured above) occurs when he and Revan meet with the Sand People chieftain on Tatooine: "Translation: He requires proof of good faith. We must make a contribution to his people that shows we are not a threat. Shall I blast him now, master?"
7 Canderous Was Too Awesome To Miss the Second Game
After some time on Taris at the start of the first game, we met an incredible warrior, but didn't know it at the time. Canderous Ordo, one of the greatest nonforce-wielding war machines the galaxy had ever seen was working as hired muscle for criminal gang boss Davik Kang of The Exchange when Revan showed up on Taris, and Canderous Ordo, who had fought in the Mandalorian Wars, was his attack dog.
Canderous eventually joined up with Revan and the gang and ended up being one of the most likable characters in the first game. He cared little for moral and ethical debate, but preferred to fight for his honor, as he was taught. Over the course of KotOR, he told his war stories, and we learned about Mandalorian culture as well as his own personal history.
6 KotOR Logic
This was a galactic facepalm if we've ever seen one. Like any good RPG, the KotOR games had tons of locked doors and a tragic lack of keys. While the security skill was always a good bet to open a door, bashing often worked just as well. Hilariously enough, when the order was given to a chosen character to open the door using this method, they would enter a combat state and just hack at the door until it opened. Of course, as happens in any turn-based combat scenario, the roll of the dice determines whether you hit or not. Despite having quite literally a target almost the size of the wall to hit, there were misses. How embarrassing.
5 Kreia Gave Us Issues
As we mentioned much earlier, the second game was much more difficult to navigate than the first in terms of light versus dark. The lines were not as clear cut and to use a color metaphor, the game was far more grey than anything. This was mostly due to Kreia. Throughout gameplay, beggars would ask for money, people would ask for help, and sometimes a cruel or kind interaction would lead to questioning and scolding by the miserable old hag.
Did you just give that homeless person a few credits? What kind of loser are you?
Did you just refuse to give that person money? Kind of heartless, don't you think?
While it was irritating, it did make us question what we were doing and added an element of moral relativism (yeah, some freshman philosophy) to the experience.
4 Some Party Members Sucked
This was a big problem early on in the first game. After you got off the Endar Spire and onto Taris, you get Carth Onasi as a teammate and later pick up Mission Vao and Zaalbar in the Lower City. Mission, the scoundrel of the game's characters, had her uses, but in terms of combat, she was about as useless as someone can be. If you were battling your way through Rakghouls in the Undercity and Carth and Revan were knocked out it meant trouble. You better hope you saved your game recently because that young Twi'lek can't handle herself at all. Like we said, she had her uses, but outside of sneaking and unlocking, she can stick with the ship.
3 The Game Is Hard To Look Away From
Boromir could not be more right. While plenty of games are immersive, quite a few Bioware titles, especially the Knights of the Old Republic games, are among the most addictive. It is pretty easy to spend upwards of a full twelve hours on one planet in the game, especially if you're trying to do as many quests as possible and if you talk to everyone you can. Whether it was your first playthrough or you had beaten the game numerous times, the games had incredible replay value and each time could be different, with multiple ways to deal with NPCs and squad members, and of course, numerous ways to complete most quests.
2 That Ship Was Built Like A Maze
The Ebon Hawk, which serves as the player's ship in both of these games, is like the Millennium Falcon of the film series. It has changed hands a few times, has a few tricks up its sleeve, is a perfect smuggling ship, and allows owners to brag that they have the fastest ship out there. Of course, we can't compare the speed of the two ships without seeing how many parsecs it took Davik Kang to do the Kessel run.
Outside of what a phenomenal ship it was, however, it was a bit of a maze inside. Talking with your crew is a regular part of the game, but remembering which crew member occupies which part of the ship was difficult, and finding your way around, despite how small the vessel was turned into a significant headache in both games.
1 It Took How Long, Bastila??
Bastila Shan was a young Jedi with an impressive knack for Battle Meditation — a power that allowed her to sway the momentum of any conflict. After the destruction of the Endar Spire she was captured on Taris and eventually got rescued (even though she wouldn't admit it) by Revan and joined his team. Of course, she thought herself to be the leader of the gang and spoke down to everyone, especially Revan after the start of his Jedi training (retraining?). It got tiresome at some points, because stepping out of line would result in another diatribe about her fears about Revan possibly starting to serve the Sith. Of course, she was captured by Malak on the Leviathan and by the time Revan and the gang got to Lehon (Rakata Prime, whatever), she had become Malak's willing and eager subordinate. Way to practice what you preach, Bastila!