Retro games are always a great throwback to our childhood. Going back to the classics is an age old tradition, but sometimes the nostalgia goggles were stronger than the actual games. Looking back at some of these classics, it's easy to see why they are so coveted by the gaming community. These are some games that we remember fondly from back in the day, but the only issue is they don't always stand up to the test of time. I understand that for their time, the mechanics and graphics were incomparable. In the last few years especially, the technology in the gaming industry has skyrocketed, improving its quality and functionality.
What we wanted to pick apart about these classic games is not the quality of their story, because many of these games beat out modern titles easily. What we want to look at is how the functionality, mechanics, and other details make the modern versions a better choice than going back for a taste of nostalgia. While all of these classics are all great, I think their successors outclass them for an overall better game and that the outdated mechanics make these games hard to play, or just plain frustrating.
14 Dark Souls
Please don't kill me. I know this game isn't too old, but it's definitely a classic. While Dark Souls is unquestionably great and probably still one of the hardest and most badass games I've ever played, after playing Dark Souls 2 or Dark Souls 3 (Or even Bloodborne) it just doesn't stand up. Some of the issues, like Dark Souls level design, or even the fact that the game makes you run everywhere (no fast travel), makes the whole game feel exhausting. Compared to the other games, the combat is clunky, not responsive, and frustrating for a game that punishes you more than your Dominatrix ex- girlfriend after a few drinks. The hitboxes and tracking on the grab attacks are honestly ridiculous compared to the later games, and even games of its time. Also, some of these bosses AOE attacks are just insane. I want a challenge, not an impossible task.
13 Call Of Duty
Call of Duty does not have the best reputation in the gaming community at the moment. It's mostly because, like a sailor looking at a starless night, it lost its way (sorry about that one). The game went from one of the first games to kick first person shooting into popularity to having space robots whipping and dabbing their way to victory, while a 13 year old tells me about my mom's love life. However, going back to the start means we need to deal the dated mechanics. The Hit-boxes were almost as terrible back then as the polygon-esque graphics. The combat is nowhere near as dynamic or interesting as any of its successors, not to mention the terrible dialog and audio makes the original more of a headache than it is worth. Plus, you can just wait for Call of Duty: WWII if you're itching for some WWII combat.
12 GoldenEye 007
Who doesn't have fond memories of sitting around with the boys, starting up a Nintendo 64, and taking turns blowing out the cartridge cause the stupid thing normally doesn't work. When it loaded, GoldenEye 007 was great back in the day, but whenever I go back for a taste of that sweet Golden Gun, I'm plagued with the issues of this game. Other than great advancements since then like aiming down the sights, bullet drop, or recoil control, the combat just isn't as satisfying, as you'll find yourself blindly hitting everything, but what what you're aiming at. It's the same as some of the others, as the hitboxes are terrible, and while getting the Golden Gun was a highlight, and my only goal, it's totally game-breaking. Nothing is more frustrating than getting one shotted with the most accurate and versatile gun in the game, while all of the other pistol rounds hit the back wall.
11 Assassin's Creed
The AC franchise has always been pretty fun and a great way to learn some tricks about how to assassinate someone in the Middle Ages. Some of the nostalgia and throwback feel from the original game gets defeated by the game's issues though. The worst part of the initial game is the parkour mechanics. Nothing is realistic about climbing up a 300 foot tower to jump off into nothing because the stupid game thought "Jump Out" instead of "Jump Up." No mentally healthy person decides to jump away from a tower for no reason. The combat is also too easy. I love a stealth game, but punish me for going loud, don't send me 30 guys I can one-shot by spamming "counter." The frequent glitches and poor object interaction just make this game too frustrating to play at this point. Just go play Black Flag again.
10 Mass Effect
BioWare has recently got a ton of heat over Mass Effect Andromeda. However, while Mass Effect 2 is probably one of the best RPGs of all time, the original ME is painful to play, especially after playing Mass Effect 2 or 3. It, along with Andromeda, has an annoying exploration system, using a dymb six wheeled car. It's super frustrating to navigate and downright boring. The combat is awful as well. 3rd person combat before interactive cover is nearly impossible to do without pounding your head into a wall. The biggest issue I ran into with this game was the annoying drop rate of armor, with no way to customize it other than color. This really took me out of the game and, compared to the other games, it's a headache to play through just for the story.
9 Star Fox 64
Do a barrel roll! Wow, that used to really get me hyped. Well, that and trying my best to save Slippy's tail for the 50th time - dumb frog. Star Fox 64 was an instant classic, but it's annoying to go back and play. The gameplay mechanics aren't great, while the enemies, especially Andross (stupid monkey...thing), have some ridiculous AOE and unavoidable swipes. This is frustrating and the unresponsive controls had me throwing the controller. On top of that, the bosses that weren't OP were just bullet sponges. It's a legitimate classic, but it's disappointingly easy at points and impossibly hard at others. The feature I most coveted, the 4 person battle royal mode, is pretty much just a race to weapon upgrades, where one player can pretty much dominate with no resistance.
8 Star Wars: Battlefront
Now, don't get me wrong, I am a huge Star Wars fan and I remember loving this game. Sadly though, going back to it after playing modern shooters is pretty much impossible. First off, the multiplayer is non-existent now, which means the only choice you have now is to shoot AI bots, that range from dumb as a rock to precision special force professional gamer level snipers. This game has so much right and so much wrong, worst of all being the target acquisition and controller mapping. Going back to this game is about an hour of learning to re-track and fire on a target, followed by getting bored at the stale level design and lack of any customization or engaging replayabilty. The new Battlefront II is looking like it's building on its roots and fixing the old issues, so just wait for that.
7 Pokémon Blue And Red
We've all been there; finding the old Game Boy Color laying around with our old copy of Pokémon still in the chamber. Load it up, see the old babies, than think "Ya know, all the Pokémon games are pretty much the same, we'll see how this run goes." Wrong! Not all Pokémon games were created equal. The issues with the earlier games aren't the graphics or the OG 151 Pokémon. You can actually see all your old buddies, and more, with improved everything in the latest Pokémon games. You'll get the same nostalgia, without the annoyance of realizing how long it takes to find the stupid bicycle. Also the game code occasionally used to try divide by zero, which would crash your game mid fight. It's extremely frustrating when you're trying to fight the Elite Four.
6 Mortal Kombat
FINISH HIM! Mortal Kombat was not only one of the most controversial games ever made, but it was the old fashioned, schoolyard way of settling an issue. Pizza or McDonald's? Better not choose Scorpion, cause I will destroy you and we will get McDonald's. The issue here isn't the graphics, which I think still look pretty dope. The problem is that the hitboxes are terrible and fighting concepts like juggling aren't really able to be effectively used in a combo. That, and the fact that you have way more options in characters in the modern remix. Also, there are much better fighting games out now, like Injustice 2, with stunning graphics, better combos, and overall better combat. With lagging visuals, awkward hit boxes, and the same monotonous music, this game doesn't live up to its shiny memories.
5 Fallout 3
Sadly, after playing Fallout: New Vegas and Fallout 4, going back to Fallout 3 is pretty painful. Some details, like not being able to aim down sights or how freakin' overpowered Deathclaws are, make this game pretty hard to sit through after the sequels. Also, the game has some clipping issues and awkward glitches. On top of that, there's a serious lack of bobby pins. Lock-picking is pretty much essential and the lack of supplies to do so makes it pretty annoying.
However, the worst part is the Vaults in this game. Not only are they set up like mazes, but everything within them looks the same, making for hours of frustratingly getting lost to find some tiny battery in a shelf. It's a great story, but it's not worth going back to play with the other options out there.
4 Super Smash Bros.
I know that the wave of hate will be strong with this one, but any of the later versions of Super Smash Brothers are vastly superior to the original. The increased number of characters, better balancing, new maps, and addition of super moves makes the old Super Smash Bros. not live up to the standards of modern fighting games. The weird mechanics, which is partially based off the N-64 Controller, the awkward move-sets, or the fact that Captain Falcon was obviously overpowered, makes this game too old to jump back into to. If you're still feeling some hate towards me for calling out this classic, you should take yourself over to the men's section of K-Mart and cut me some slack...s.
3 Super Mario Kart
The Original Mario Kart for the Super Nintendo Entertainment System was a fun new way to challenge your friends. However, going back to play this game is frustrating and the gameplay is downright boring. It's pretty much holding down the "A" button and occasionally turning left. All the Karts are the same and most of the items do nothing, so if you're nudged from the blacktop, you lose. Mario Kart 8 is not only better looking, but has more depth in gameplay, with more challenging and rewarding racing and gameplay. Make your friends slip on banana peels in Mario Kart: Double Dash or Mario Kart DS before going this far back for the original Mario racing game.
2 Mario Party
Mario Party is probably the most rage inducing party game ever created. There's plenty of issues with the game, like the pretty basic mini-games, some of which never seem to go the logical way you thought it would go based on most of the games being a game of luck over skill. The most frustrating thing was the dumb feature where you could steal stars from other players. This ruined friendships, families, and marriages because this game created the most game-breaking mechanic in gaming history. You could lose every mini-game, end with zero coins, and still win by fluke. I may have dramatized this, but this game doesn't stand up to any test of time (though the modern replacements aren't that big of a step up).
1 Wii Sports (Wii)
When Wii Sports came out, it was a pretty big deal. The new Wii's motion controlled gaming. The precision of the Wii-mote. And all the fun of your favorite sports from home! Until you play for five minutes, get a home run, 300 game, and break your TV. The Wii-mote is one of the most unresponsive controllers ever, with most of the games giving you carpal tunnel from mildly flicking your wrist to and fro without a care in the world. No one asks to play Wii Sports, but when someone does, setting up the Sensor Bar and convincing your buddies to put on the safety strap so they don't wreck your TV seems to take all the nostalgia out of playing the aged game. My best friend once said "Playing Wii Sports is like going to Denny's, you don't plan on doing it, you just end up there."