Do me a favor. Go to Spotify, Apple Music, whatever it is you use, and run a search for Barry White. You there? Great. Go ahead and turn on "Love's Theme," and if you don't mind, it'd be great if you could just play that on repeat while you read this list. Because it's time for things to get hot and heavy here on TheGamer.com. Gamers are obviously known for being spectacular lovers, but beyond any shadow of a doubt, the sect of gamers who get the most lovin' are PlayStation owners (I don't know why I'm saying this as if everyone doesn't already know it to be common knowledge. I mean, duh).
If you have a PlayStation, you're probably not leaving the house too much. And that's because the ladies (or gents, whoever you're into) are pretty much lining up outside your door. Why? It's simple, really. You see, when you purchase a Sony PlayStation, you're entered into a unique fraternity of sorts, one that includes some of the world's most famous romancers. This is 15 reasons Why PlayStation Owners Get More Love Between the Sheets.
Did we miss anything? The comments section is wide open. Who knows? Maybe you'll even spark up a conversation with someone. Greatness awaits.
15 The PS4 Likes Being Touched
Sometimes, it's not enough just to play a game. Sometimes, you've got to take to the next level and actually reach out and touch that game. And don't worry, your PS4 feels exactly the same way. That's why it's got that little touch screen right there in the middle of the controller. So you can feel free to put your hands all over it (although it may not do anything, I mean, it depends on the game. But sure, go for it). Your PS4 controller calls out to you just like Susan Sarandon did in The Rocky Horror Picture Show: touch-a touch-a touch me! I wanna be dirty! But not too dirty. That could mess up my Bluetooth connection.
Wanna touch the games you play on Xbox or Nintendo? That's fine, but you're going to get your dirty fingerprints all over the screen. And that's gonna be a real hassle to clean up.
14 Switch Gamers Are Too Busy Playing In Bed
First off, Nintendo games are for kids. Everybody knows this. If you want to spend your time playing dress up in green tights, jumping in pipes and stomping on turtles, or driving around in a car throwing shells at other cartoon characters, be my guest. But when you're ready to get serious and take a relationship to the next level, that system's gonna need to find a permanent hiding place in the closet next to your Thomas the Tank Engine pajamas and stuffed Teddy Bear. With the Nintendo Switch, gaming doesn't have to stop when you head up to the bedroom. You can just take it with you and keep playing as long as you like. Which, while it may be fun if you're alone, will frustrate your date to no end. But please, keep on playing. Your choice to control that tiny pink ball who swallows bad guys is very mature.
13 Mobile Gamers Are Too Broke To Get Dates
If your favorite games are The Candy Crush Saga, Mobile Strike, and Game of War, chances are your options for going out to dinner are Burger King, McDonald's, and Arby's (if you're in the mood for something classy). Even saying mobile games are real games is a stretch. A better analogy is calling them slot machines that never pay out. Gamers just continue to pour money into them, despite only receiving digital items with no real world value. In reality, all that mobile games do is replace the work that goes into leveling up and getting better at a game with paying a fee. And that leaves you flat broke. That money's better spent going towards something you can invest in, you know, like a PS4. Unless you'd rather impress your work crush with how many lollipop hammers you have. Your call.
12 Sega's History Takes Too Long To Explain
Lover, let me lay you down and tell you a story. You see, once there was a video game company that dreamed of being number one in the world. They claimed they could do it all, even what Nintendon't. They even released one of the best consoles ever, the Dreamcast, only to hang up their hardware making gloves only a few months after—oops, your date just fell asleep listening to this very long and boring history. Did Sega make some great consoles? Absolutely. Do they now only make software, thereby rendering fairly obsolete for the purposes of this list? Affirmative. If you're still claiming Sega made the best video game consoles, your knowledge of gaming clearly stops somewhere around 1999. If you want that special someone to fall for you, it's time to get with the times, bruh. Se-ga-bye. Does that work? Sort of.
11 That Console Is Lookin' Fine
Put a PlayStation console next to pretty much any other gaming device and one thing is instantly clear: Sony makes a damn fine looking console. Other video game companies just don't understand. The Xbox One is boxy and takes up a ton of space in an entertainment center. The Nintendo Switch looks like some kind of futuristic toaster. But the PlayStation 4? Now that thing is ready for prime time. Smooth, sleek, and aerodynamic, the PS4 is so slick, I wouldn't be surprised if it could be legally called an aphrodisiac. Not only that, the PS2 was a console so versatile, you could play it standing up or on its side. I'm pretty sure you see where I'm going with this.
10 The Hottest Exclusives
Ooh girl, did you want to play some Kingdom Hearts? Looking forward to the Final Fantasy VII remake? Or, if you're in the mood to chill, we could just throw on some Drake, Nathan Drake that is. Pound for pound, PlayStation just has the best exclusive games on the market today. Let me ask you this: are you more likely to want to be with someone who talks about their Halo, or someone who'll talk to you about your Destiny? No brainer. Even throwback PlayStation exclusives beat the snot out of other console titles. I'll take Parappa the Rapper over Superman: The Man of Steel any day of the week. After all, when it comes to winning over that special someone, you gotta believe!
9 Go All Night With Rechargeable Controllers
One of the most frustrating things about owning an Xbox One is having to purchase some sort of apparatus to charge the controllers, or buying rechargeable batteries to put in them. It's an extra expense, and can be ultra frustrating when you forget to charge it up and can't play any of your games. Luckily, the PS4 comes will rechargeable, easy to use controllers. Just plug them in, put the system in rest mode, and they'll be ready to go next time you want to play. Because nothing is more embarrassing than having to tell your date you have to stop playing and...recharge. Uh uh. Not a problem for PlayStation users, who can always plug back in for more juice and keep the party going all night long.
8 PlayStation Has The Smoothest Boot Up Menu Music
From day one, PlayStation consoles have featured some of the smoothest, most chilled out, boot up music ever heard in game history. From the second you turned on your PS1 and heard that sultry synth sound behind the Sony Computer Entertainment logo shifts into the sultry twinkle behind the PS logo, you were turned on in more ways than one. What's great about PlayStation's choices in background/boot up music is that the music is never overwhelming, and always serves as a refreshing backdrop for you to scroll menus to. Often, if I have company over, I'll just turn on my PS4 and have the music play in the background. It's a huge hit at adult contemporary mixers. Trust me on this one.
7 Crash Bandicoot Is Fine As All Get-Out
Would you just get a load of that steaming hot, sexy, orange bandicoot? My goodness. I do believe I'm starting to sweat. If you'd rather spend your time with a plumber (who probably smells like...you know) or a hedgehog who can turn into a blue ball (too easy), that's fine, but I'll take Crash Bandicoot over those two any day. Plus, Crash isn't thirsty. He knows you want him, and he doesn't mind waiting for you to come to him. He's not all over every piece of marketing Sony does, or shoved down your throat every time you browse the PlayStation's game listing. He's just always there for you. Sure, he looks like he may very well be insane. But isn't that just what we all want out of love?
6 PlayStation Knows How To Take Its Time
PlayStation console owners aren't just going to jump into some deeply committed relationship! They've got to get to know you first, baby! Love is a marathon, not a sprint. Just ask the development team behind Gran Turismo. The game took five full years to make. That's right. Five long, involved, caring years. Because PlayStation fans get that being in a relationship isn't about quantity or getting things done as quickly as possible, it's about putting the time in to make sure the product is good. The fifth installment in the Gran Tursimo series similarly took five years to make, and cost about $60 million. Because PlayStation people aren't afraid to put the time and the money into the things they love.
5 With PlayStation, It's All About You, Baby
A lot of these consoles out there, they make it all about them. Turn ME on. Play games with ME. Watch videos on ME. Me, me, me! When's a console going to worry about YOUR needs? Baby, don't worry. PlayStation is all about you. Take, for example, the PlayStation 2. When you logged into the PS2, you'd see a series of what looked like blocks or towers that seemingly were just a part of the console booting up. But in actuality, they each represented a save file on the memory card. So if you turned on your system with no memory card, there'd be no towers. Play a bunch of different games? Tons of towers. Because it's time, somebody asked you how YOUR day was for once.
4 Be With A Winner
Everybody wants to be with someone who believes in themselves, someone who can talk a big game and back it up. Enter the Sony PlayStation 2, which to this day is the top-selling video game console in history. The PS2 sold over 155 million units worldwide. Think about that. When you know how to please over 155 million people, you're doing something very right. In fact, 4 of the 10 top selling consoles of all time are Sony products. The number two best selling console of all time is the Nintendo DS, a handheld which can't even compare with the PS4 in terms of power and gameplay. Nobody comes close. Nobody wants to be with second best. Nintendo DS? More like Nintendo Don't Start. PS4 or nuthin'.
3 PlayStation Knows Style
Nobody wants to be caught in public with someone who doesn't know how to present themselves. The fact is, there's more to dating someone than just their personality! What do they wear, what do they drive, can they pay your bills (your auto-bills, for example)? PlayStation is a console that understands the idea of flaunting it, even when it doesn't entirely make any sense. For example, while most CDs have a mirror on their data side, all PS1 discs were black. Why, you ask? The answer is: no reason. Because it just looks cool. And it reminds you that you're rolling with the best. Not some fly by night CD-ROM date that probably isn't even going to take you for breakfast in the morning. Speaking of the PS1...
2 The PS1 Has Another Name...
Before Sony's PlayStation 1 system launched, it went by another name, the PlayStation X. There was no PS2 at the time, so calling it the PlayStation 1 didn't make a lot of sense. So what is this fact doing on this list? Well, when you abbreviate PlayStation X, it shortens to just PSX. Say that out loud five times fast. Did you do it? It kinda sounds like "P.S. Sex," right? I mean, come on. That sounds like the star of a PlayStation themed erotic novel. "Hello, ma'm, I'm P.S. Sex and I'm here to play with your dual shock." You know what, I'm gonna stop. This is too good. Look for it in paperback this fall.
1 PlayStation Fans Are Loyal
We've all been there. You meet someone, you fall for them, and before you know it, they're gone, out the door, and they've taken your heart with you. If only you could have seen this coming, you think, but no, you're left alone again with only your sorrows and a copy of Superman 64 (what were you thinking dating him!). But when a PlayStation fan falls in love, it's for life. Take UK based PlayStation superfan Dan Holmes, for example. Or as he's now known, Mr. PlayStation 2.
PlayStation. The console so good, people want to marry it.