Ever since the complexity of graphics evolved enough to become a cornerstone of a successful game, developers have been using their skills to set their armor apart from the rest of the gaming world's armoire, with mixed results. Some designers create armor that is so awesome gamers spend hours of their time and oodles out of their wallets to make faithful recreations for cosplay. Other times, the armor is a complete fail; falling flat due to its lack of creativity or similarities to the armor from another game. Then, there are the ridiculous ones; the ones that are so outlandish and silly that they blur the line between good, awful, and downright mind melting.
Some designers add in hidden outfits after completing a game or stash the more wonky sets in hard to reach places. Some think that what they're making is perfectly normal and doesn't seem ridiculous to them at all. Well, crazy people never think they're crazy. Hand me that oversized helmet, fashion my chainmail into a battle bikini, and here, put on this fish costume. No seriously, you're going to need that when we're fighting. Here are the 15 Most Ridiculous Armor Sets You Can Wear In Action Games.
15 Cod Of War (God Of War II)
Kratos is one of gaming’s angriest protagonists. He is constantly pissed at being a pawn of the Greek gods and tends to take out his fury on every enemy stupid enough to stand in his path. Seriously, the man rips off people’s heads with his bare hands. Why the hell would you try and fight him?
Aside from his iconic “Ghost of Sparta” look, you know the one where he’s painted in the ashes of his dead wife and child, the God of War can dress up in a couple of snazzy unlockable outfits. The one that I remember most is the Cod of War outfit from GOW II. Essentially, it is a giant fish costume that Kratos can fight his way to the top of Mt. Olympus in — the Blades of Athena having been replaced with massive fishing hooks. Even though Kratos is a certified badass, how could you ever take someone seriously in a fish costume, no matter how mad he is?
14 Catarina Armor (Dark Souls)
Belonging to the Knights of Catarina, the ranks of which are some of the most beloved characters in the Souls series, the Catarina Armor set has become synonymous with the series. It’s the armor’s unique design, and the fact that it makes your character look like they opted for the whole bakery with all those rolls, that has made it one of the most popular sets in the series.
Now there is nothing wrong at all with this set; as I stated above, it’s one of the best-designed sets in a series that’s known for awesome armor. But it lands on this list because it looks like whatever blacksmith hammered it into form cast the plate out of mayo. It also looks like whoever the sets are designed for subsists on a diet made up completely of mayo as well.
13 Gerudo Dress (Breath Of The Wild)
One of the numerous sets in the newest Zelda, the Gerudo dress is one of the more interesting choices available to Link. The traditional garb of Gerudo women, Link can choose to throw on the swish pants and tied up top to expose some righteous midriff to all those Guardians. Heck, he doesn’t even need a shield to repel their devastating laser attack; just jam that midriff right in front of it. You know Link has abs with all the running, lifting, and climbing he does.
It’s pretty cool that Breath of t he Wild lets you hold onto the outfit after you use it to advance the plot, and even cooler that Link can totally pull it on while slaying all types of enemies. Although NPCs will comment about it, no one seems to have that much of a problem with Link running around in ladies clothing. Who knew Hyrule was so forward thinking?
12 Daedric Armor (Skyrim)
Daedric Armor doesn’t seem that ridiculous when you first think about it; it is appropriately gnarly for the race of Daedra, demon like warriors that live in Oblivion. It all seems pretty kosher in the game, but when you take it into a real world context, the armor becomes pretty ridiculous.
Look at all the damn hooks and barbs on that thing. Even though carpet doesn’t exist in the Elder Scrolls universe, curtains and drapes still do. If you snagged a massive castle curtain in passing with just one of those gloves barbs, you’d bring the whole damn thing down on top of you. Considering most buildings in Skyrim are made out of wood or stone, this armor is still a liability to wear. Best-case scenario, you’re going to chip a nice sized chunk out of a wall, bending your meticulously crafted spikes. Worst case, you’re going to get all the points lodged in the wooden paneling of a tavern wall, like a set of darts thrown by a Khajiit high on skooma.
11 Oyama Makeup (MGS3: Snake Eater)
In Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, there are a variety of different camouflage and face paint combos you can use to better blend into your environment and have a better chance of avoiding detection. Then, there are a few that are available to Snake because this is a Hideo Kojima game.
The Oyama makeup in Snake Eater lets Snake cake on more makeup than a South Jersey prom queen. It actually is an allusion to the classic “woman-role” actors of classical Japanese theater, when men would don the makeup to play the roles of women on stage. If you call Sigint on the radio, hell even question Snake’s intentions, ending the conversation with “Fine, get yourself shot."
10 Sir Arthur’s Armor (Ghosts 'N Goblins)
This is your pretty standard set of armor for any knight. Heavy plate with a helm is pretty much par for the course when it comes to slaying demons in a gauntlet of insane platforming levels that make you snap your controller in half. So how did it make it on the list then? Because Sir Arthur’s armor from Ghosts 'n Goblins is a one hit wonder.
When Arthur takes a hit from anything in his quest, his armor pops off like the whole suit was spring loaded. What the heck is the point of even wearing armor that scatters like a flock of timid pigeons each time that the smallest impact glances its surface? Hopefully, Arthur kept the receipt for his suit, and hopefully, he doesn’t trip on his quest to return it.
9 Sanada Crimson (Nioh)
I love the armor in Nioh, I really do. As a self-proclaimed Samurai geek, I love being able to dress up William in all types of sick Samurai armor and outlandishly horned helmets and masks. There is one particular set that caught my eye though for being a tad ridiculous: the Sanada Crimson set, particularly the helmet.
Now, there is nothing crazy about most of the set; typical Samurai plate that can be found pretty much anywhere in the game. The one thing that gets me is the helmet; it looks like a trucker hat with deer antlers coming out of it. Seriously, look at that thing. That is every redneck’s dream hat conjured to fruition, a gem in the rough land of rest stop apparel.
8 Undertow Wetsuit (Infinity Blade)
I don’t usually treat mobile games with much respect, because most of them are garbage. With the exception of a few well-developed games like Reigns, Sorcery, and Magikarp Jump (shout out to Karp Russell), they’re slowly entering the realm of respect among gamers. One mobile series has been pretty well developed from its beginning is Infinity Blade.
A game about tapping and swiping your way through epic sword fights, it provides big action on a small screen. With that comes ridiculous armor sets to deck your knight out in and none are as ridiculous as the Undertow Wetsuit. A diving suit decked out with plated scales, it’s too heavy for swimming and too cumbersome for fighting. Although, there is nothing quite like slaying a towering enemy in a pair of flippers.
7 Doom Armor (Diablo III)
The Diablo series has always featured some pretty gnarly armor, and the series third installment is no exception, especially when it comes to the Doom Armor sets. Look at that lineup up there. Does that not look like the most face melting Gwar cover band lineup that you’ve ever seen? If any of those armor sets were on an album cover, I’d buy it outright, even if it were a Firehouse album.
Blizzard knows what they’re doing when it comes to designing armor that players actually want to wear, but seldom do they design armor that would look at home on a death metal band.
6 Fly Camo (MGS3: Snake Eater)
This is literally poop. The winner of a fan created camo contest for Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater, this outfit makes Snake smell like poop. There are pictures of poop all over the uniform, and the description in-game points out the fact that enemies won’t get close to Snake when he wears it…because he smells like shit.
Apart from being funny poop humor (the funniest humor that exists in our universe), it brings me joy to know that the team working on Metal Gear Solid 3: Snake Eater sat around and took a vote, and that vote was in the name of poop. Either that or the team voted for a completely different entry and Kojima was like, “No, we’re doing the poop one.” Actually, I’ll put money on that being what actually happened.
5 Cardboard Knight (Killing Floor 2)
One of the best co-op shooters ever released, Killing Floor 2 is over the top with gore and guns (with a dash of silliness for good measure). Characters come with their own hilarious catchphrases, some weapons are startlingly clever and fun to use, and emotes consist of game homages or downright ridiculous gestures. The outfits in Killing Floor 2 are no different, especially the Cardboard Knight armor.
The armor set looks to have been put together hastily out of used “ZedEx” packaging, postage and shipping included. Not only is the appearance ridiculous, but only a true madman, rendered insane by the bloodshed of a zombie apocalypse, would vouch for the protective properties of cardboard armor.
4 Spud Of War (God Of War: Chains Of Olympus)
The team as Santa Monica Studios seriously had it going on when they were designing bonus costumes for their murderous protagonist. The Spud of War outfit allows you to dress up the god slaying Kratos as a baked potato, complete with tinfoil and his usual red war paint replaced with butter.
I really hope that whoever designed this bonus costume got a raise; they really earned it. It’s good to see in an age of lackluster ethics in video game publishing and design that some still come to work and think, “Today, I’m going to make our antihero into a god damn potato.”
3 Leon And Ashley (Resident Evil 4)
After you beat Resident Evil 4’s post game side quest “Separate Ways,” starring Ada Wong of Resident Evil 2 fame, new outfits will be unlocked for Leon and Ashley in the main game. Leon gets a gangster outfit, complete with a sweet Tommy gun and neck beard worthy fedora, while Ashley gets a literal suit of armor.
First of all, how is a girl as small as Ashley, and living the luxurious lifestyle of the President’s daughter, going to have the strength to tote around a full metal suit of armor? Not to speak down to the strength of women, I know plenty of women who could serve me my bruised ass on a silver platter, but for someone as helpless as Ashley (“LEON, HELLLPPP!), the possibility of her being able to run around in armor is doubtful. It is pretty cool that it makes Ashley invincible to all attacks and makes her too heavy to pick up for enemies, alleviating the hair pulling annoyance of the Resident Evil 4’s game long escort mission.
2 Digital Dino (Saints Row IV)
The Saints Row series is known for general outlandishness, and the fourth installment is no exception, especially when it comes to outfits and armor sets. Part of the Child’s Play Pack DLC, the Digital Dino outfit has to be one of the most ridiculous ever seen in a game.
The Digital Dino suit decks your character out in a shiny dino suit, complete with a tail and set of spikes running down its back. Although the citizens of the Saints Row universe are most likely jaded to all types of violence and macabre spectacle, I’m sure a heavily armed metal dinosaur gunning down rival gang members before jumping into a low rider for a high-speed getaway would turn a few heads.
1 Xanthous Armor (Dark Souls)
The Dark Souls series has some of the best design around, period. The worlds are lush and expansive, the weapons are creative and fun to master, and the armor skillfully toes the line between badass and beautiful.
And then, there are some that are a bit outlandish, to say the least. The Xanthous set is an aesthetically tame armor set in the Souls universe; robes, gloves, some open toed boots. And then you get to that…helmet? Is that what that is? The description says a crown, but since when have crowns looked like chewed bubble gum that someone stuffed in a turban before giving it a swirly? Plus, how would anyone take a king seriously that has a crown that looks like a tennis racquet wrapped in Werther's Original wrappers?