Nostalgia is a magical and mysterious thing. As you grow older, you reminisce about days past whether they be great, terrible, or even trying on your psyche.
Near the end of last year, Nintendo released the NES Classic, which included 30 “classic” games from the 80s and 90s, but the list of games was received with mixed reviews. In some cases, there were true examples of gleeful nostalgia while in other cases you couldn’t help wonder what they were thinking; sadly, the iconic plumber made up 20% of these titles.
One year after the launch of the NES Classic, we are expecting to see the release of its “Super” successor. The SNES Classic (or mini) will more than likely feature the same amount of games installed on the console. With nearly the same amount of releases as its predecessor, the SNES had arguably much more flops, so the odds of getting a lackluster inclusion is relatively high.
While many ponder the positive aspect of what games will be included, you can’t help but wonder what kind of garbage they are going to cram into the SNES Classic. The NES mini included sequels while ignoring the originals, so why wouldn’t SNES? They could also take the low road and give us a port or a remake; let’s hope the list is wrong.
15 Super Castlevania IV
For over thirty years Castlevania has been whipping its way into the homes of gamers everywhere from Nintendo to Xbox 360. It follows a generally simplistic story usually involving a member of the Belmont family (or Alucard) trying to kill the king of all vampires, Dracula. It has evolved over the last three decades in phenomenal ways and has become a classic in the eyes of all types of fans.
There were two Castlevania games released for the Super Nintendo, and one of them was entitled Super Castlevania IV. The game itself was gorgeous and new, but that’s where the happiness ends I’m afraid. The game itself played less like a dark adventure and more like Indiana Jones thanks to the constant swinging by your whip and traversing teeter-totter-like platforms. The hope is that Nintendo skips this one and instead graces us with the far superior Dracula X.
14 Unirally
Nintendo isn’t really all that well known for their racing games (with the exception of Mario Kart). The Super Nintendo was plagued with notoriously bad racers that were either too generic or too over the top. One of their most infamous racers was called Unirally which was monetarily successful thanks to its originality, but once you picked up the controller, the fun was over.
Unirally’s premise is simple and bonkers at the exact same time. You are an unmanned unicycle that races on a brightly colored pipe while jumping, rolling, and struggling to maintain momentum to finish the race. With each jump, the game is sure to let you know that you just did so thanks to an onscreen prompt. For this Classic console, perhaps it’s better to save the racing games for the N64 Classic where they really shined.
13 Mortal Kombat
If there is one thing the SNES prided itself on, it was fighting games. There is nothing more fun than beating your big brother in hand-to-hand combat. Super Nintendo released all the greats during its lifespan: Street Fighter 2, Killer Instinct, and even Mortal Kombat. So, why is it on the list, you ask? The SNES version is nearly identical to the Sega Genesis version with one tiny omission: blood.
The two versions of Mortal Kombat were released at the same time, yet the Genesis version included the much-loved blood via a cheat code — the SNES did not. Another issue with the SNES version is that there were shortcuts to doing fatalities (bloodless fatalities), which made the game feel like it was for babies. In this one instance, they really should consider skipping including MK1 and go straight to part 2 or 3 for the mini.
12 Mario Is Missing!
It’s no secret that Mario is Nintendo’s golden boy and they want to try and include the famous plumber in anything, but sometimes it just doesn’t make sense. Mario is Missing is basically a Carmen SanDiego knockoff with the popular mustachioed brothers. You play as Luigi, paired with Yoshi, as he tries desperately to find his missing brother all while learning about geography.
Mario is Missing is one of those games that you think is going to be incredible but instead just makes you want to punch the owner of the video store square in the jaw. It’s an interesting idea if your audience is kids in school that are forced to learn but the teachers want to make it fun. However, nobody would willingly want to play this, and it should not be on the SNES mini; it should remain in the vault with Mario Paint.
11 Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest
It doesn’t matter who you are or where you come from, Final Fantasy is the high watermark in terms of Japanese RPGs. The Super Nintendo was a superstar when it came to RPGs like Chrono Trigger and Secret of Evermore, but one RPG was released on the console which they had the audacity to call a Final Fantasy game. Final Fantasy: Mystic Quest was released in 1992 as a “beginner’s” RPG game, but they, unfortunately, left that fact off of the box.
At that time, Final Fantasy was known for its vast array of weapons, spells, and monsters. They abandoned all that, eliminated the random encounters, and added a health meter. This had everyone, including myself, fuming. Fortunately, they released Final Fantasy III a short time later, and all was forgiven — let’s hope they don’t make the same mistake twice.
10 J.R.R Tolkien’s Lord Of The Rings: Volume I
Long ago, in the wastelands of middle-earth, Nintendo made a gargantuan failure called JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings: Volume 1. It would be wonderful if the title was the worst part, but it was just terrible as a whole and it didn’t help that it was released long before Hollywood had a chance to make it exceedingly popular. If you weren’t an avid reader, then there was no way you’d purchase or even rent a game with a title like this.
Some games back then had bad names and even worse box art, but made up for it with a compelling story and incredible gameplay; JRR Tolkien’s Lord of the Rings: Volume 1 did none of this. You spend an inexplicably long time in the beginning hunting wolves, which makes little to no sense if you’ve ever read the book and makes even less sense now. They really should leave this one off of the SNES classic and just pretend The Lord of the Rings didn’t exist in video games until the 21st century.
9 Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island
It’s no secret that Mario has done it all from astronaut to racecar driver, but a baby? I think it goes without saying that Super Mario World will be the centerpiece of the SNES mini, because of its great graphics (for the time), huge world to explore, and new friend, Yoshi. However, several years later Nintendo decided to give Yoshi his own adventure where he must protect baby Mario while traversing through dozens of difficult levels.
The travesty with Super Mario World 2: Yoshi’s Island is that they took elements from the first “World” gamer as well as villains from Super Mario Bros. 2 and completely new baddies making for just a cluster of too much stuff. NES Classic had an issue of releasing sequels but not their much better origins.
8 Super Ghouls & Ghosts
Back in the 80’s, there existed an epically difficult game entitled Ghosts & Goblins on Nintendo which was responsible for the rise in controller purchases. It tells the story of a knight trying to save his beloved from, you guessed it, ghosts and goblins. It was massively difficult to even finish the first stage, but also had a silly element when you would have to proceed in your skivvies after taking a single hit.
In the 90s, the sequel was released in arcades and for the Super Nintendo with improved graphics, but similar difficulty and story. Releasing it on the SNES classic would be like releasing Super Mario All-Stars on the mini; it only looks slightly better. They gave us Ghosts & Goblins on the NES mini, so it’d be redundant to give us its polished sequel.
7 Zero: The Kamikaze Squirrel
When it comes to platformers, Nintendo wrote the book and every other company peeked over their shoulder. The SNES has had some great ones such as Bubsy, Mr. Nuts, and Earthworm Jim. However, the Super Nintendo also made a few mediocre ones but none as clunky and sad as Zero: The Kamikaze Squirrel.
This obvious Bubsy knockoff follows a secret agent named Zero who was actually a villain in the Aero the Acrobat series. He is a ninja that must stop the evil lumberjack Jacques Le Sheets from chopping down trees to make paper; basically Ferngully on hashish. The game was ludicrous but could have been good if the controls weren’t so lackluster and unusable. Instead, they should probably go with one of the other amazing platformer for the SNES mini.
6 Terminator 2: Judgement Day
You don’t have to be a movie buff to be familiar with Arnold Schwarzenegger and his iconic role as the T-101 in The Terminator films. It’s only natural that the video game industry would capitalize on this successful movie franchise. As far as the second movie goes, they released an incredible shooter in arcades that made tons of money in quarters. Then, they released Terminator 2: Judgement Day for SNES which everyone was excited to see.
Unfortunately, this SNES release was not the shoot ‘em up we played in the arcades till our eyes bled, this was a mediocre platformer that followed the movie scene by scene with terrible fist fights and sloppy chases. Luckily, they released the “correct” one sometime later as T2: The Arcade Game and that is the one that should grace the SNES Classic if any.
5 Ultraman
Ultraman is based on a popular TV show of the same name in which a man named Ultraman Great who travels the Universe saving it from a virus called the Gudis. A Gudis mutates the inhabitants of the planet it is infesting, making them humongous and more powerful. It is up to Ultraman to save Earth from this impending threat.
Ultraman on SNES is a great example of what not to do. The graphics make it look like a port from NES, the controls feel like the buttons aren’t working, and the difficulty is much too high for a game that just has you punching and kicking monsters. If the SNES absolutely has to have a game like this, then they should settle for the far superior King of the Monsters which was an arcade smash.
4 WWF Super Wrestlemania
Wrestling games as a whole have a huge fan base and even today sell millions of copies of the game as well as the DLC that make the game truly complete. For the Super Nintendo, there were four games released with the WWF brand on them. Three of these great games were phenomenal successes (and even cult classics), but the other was called WWF Super Wrestlemania.
The biggest issue with this installment was its release date, because it was brought to us when the older generation of superstars were leaving, and the new breed was coming into professional wrestling. This game had aging wrestlers like Hulk Hogan, Randy Savage, and the Big Bossman who were leaving WWF, but luckily paved the way for better games like RAW and Royal Rumble; two games that would thrive on the SNES Classic.
3 Taz-Mania
Whether you’re sixteen or sixty, you’ve undoubtedly seen a Looney Tunes cartoon or even played a Looney Tunes game. Over the course of their video game career, the popular cartoon series has made some truly great games dating all the way back to NES with Bugs Bunny’s Birthday Blowout. However, in the 90’s they made an incredibly bad game centering around everyone’s favorite garbage disposal aptly named Taz-Mania.
While the Genesis version was a stellar platformer with fun levels and great animation, SNES opted for a 3D Worldrunner type game where you race down the road and eat things while trying to avoid trees. It’s understandable that they would try and be different than their competition, but this time they failed miserably and should try to ignore Taz’s popularity while making the SNES classic.
2 Side Pocket
Super Nintendo has had some great sports games, and they are a great way to battle your friends in a nonviolent setting. Some of the favorites were basketball games like NBA Jam or fast-paced baseball games such as Ken Griffey Jr’s Winning Run. On the other hand, genres like bowling and billiards never quite found their footing on the Super Nintendo.
People really weren’t interested in the pool game Side Pocket, because once you got the mechanics down after playing a couple of times, it was just too easy. It would take over a decade after Side Pocket before non-team sports would be popular on video game consoles and let’s hope Nintendo realizes this and leaves billiards off of the SNES mini.
1 Megaman 7
Megaman is one of the poster kids for Nintendo ever since the blue bomber blasted his way into our hearts. His story is simple: he is just trying to stop an evil scientist from taking over the world. To do so, he must take powers from the robots he destroys — and that makes his adventure worth playing.
Megaman 7 made the list, not because it is a bad game, but because including it would mean not including on of the three installments in the Megaman X series which completely retooled the franchise with animal/robot hybrids, suit upgrades, and a new, scarier villain named Sigma. We just have to hope they make the right decision and not include the seventh repetitive installment of the original series.