Call of Duty’s legacy is a complicated one. It built on the foundation of pioneers like Goldeneye and Halo and paved the way for most of the high calibre, action-packed games that we buy, sell and trade to this day. It’s made an INSANE amount of money too. 2011's installment, Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 3, has sold over 30 million copies as of this writing. 30 million copies!!! That’s a metric wack-load of kill steals and pre-pubescent mom jokes.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “But Chris, how can such a groundbreaking, record smashing, award-winning game franchise be anything other than a colossal achievement destined to be celebrated for generations to come?” To that I simply ask that you just keep scrolling.
You see, Call of Duty is like cat-nip for twenty-something gamers. It’s addictive. It’s trance-inducing. And, for some, it completely clouds their judgement. I mean, Catnip is persuasive enough to convince my cat that repeatedly banging her head against the wall is a perfectly reasonable way to spend a Sunday afternoon. Call of Duty on the other hand? Well... let’s just say that a few of the people on this list would have been better served had they followed my cat’s lead.
Today at TheGamer, we’ll carve out a few minutes of our day to laugh unreasonably hard at other gamers CoD-induced pitfalls while also purposely forgetting the time that we failed our final exam because we spent the previous night in a Wasteland with a ghillie suit and an infrared scope. Just me? Liar.
Suit up, grab your ACR and prepare for battle. The Gamer presents: 15 Times COD Fandom Went Way Too Far. Let’s go!
15 That Time COD Ruined A Wedding
Back when I was a CoD noob, I frequented the GameFaqs forums for strategic advice and general CoD discussion. Also, to read stuff like this.
You see, my boy SovietSpy44 over at GameFaqs made a series of quick stepping, rash decisions that ended in a woman in a wedding gown, floating in a pool and also milk and chocolate muffins.
Though I could never truly do the story as much justice as SovietSpy44 does in his post, I’ll try my best to paraphrase the tale here. Soviet was getting married. He had a few minutes to kill before his wedding, so he slid in the Modern Warfare 2 game disc and got to business. A few minutes quickly turned to a few hours. He had missed the wedding, ruined most of his relationships and consoled himself with chocolate muffins... and milk.
If you’re sipping on some milk, pour some on the curb for this poor soul. He never stood a chance.
14 That Time A Dude Played COD For Over Five Days
Never underestimate the power of human will. And, for obvious reasons, never underestimate the curious nature of a Call of Duty obsession either. To say that Australia’s Okan Kaya is obsessed with Call of Duty would be the understatement of the century. I mean, why else would you play it for over 135 hours straight?
Back in 2012, the 28 year old Kaya set out to break the world record for continuous gaming, which stood at a modest 120 hours and 7 minutes. And break it he did. And no, he didn’t bring his controller to the bathroom with him. As per Guinness, he was permitted a ten minute break for every continuous hour of gameplay. He was also allowed to stockpile 10 minute breaks by playing continuously. Allowing for a few hours of sleep per day and a few quick bathroom breaks.
13 That Time That Way Too Many People Waited Way Too Long
Midnight release events can be quite the spectacle. I used to love meeting up with friends at our local game store to pick up the first few copies and to get a head start on the competition. It’s safe to say that I’ve waited in my fair share of long lines, but even I have never seen anything quite like this.
I mean, just look at how many impatient people there are, waiting in line for a game that they could easily pick up, relatively cue-free the next morning. I don’t know what’s worse. Wasting your night away, needlessly waiting hours for a game for a hypothetical head start or honking at complete strangers for your own enjoyment. It’s a strange world that we live in.
12 That Time COD Got a Man Shot
Talk about impatient. This crazed Call of Duty fan was so excited for the game that he decided to pop off a couple of pre-game shots in real life. Such was the story that came out of LA back in 2012. A wheelchair bound gentlemen waiting in line for Call of Duty got in to a disagreement with another CoD fans. Things escalated very, very quickly.
The entire ordeal left a wheelchair bound man bleeding from gunshot wounds to the gut. The perpetrator fled on foot. Now, I couldn’t manage to find an update. So, we may never know if the gun toting CoD fan was ever punished for his misdeed. Though I can say that, judging by how fast he got away, he definitely had the sprint perk locked and loaded.
11 That Time Ochocinco Tried To Be Romantic
Mercurial NFL player Chad "Ochocinco" Johnson isn’t very romantic. Case in point, his ‘proposal’ to Evelyn Lozada. The former Miami Dolphin invited a jeweler to the house. Inconveniently for him, the Jewler showed up while he was still pwning noobs online in CoD. The football player asked his then girlfriend to pick a ring and that was that. Not only did Mr. Ochocinco neglect to get down on one knee, he couldn’t even be bothered enough to remove his gaming headset.
You’re probably thinking, “What a fool proof way to show your undying devotion. They must be so happy together!’ Sorry to be the ring-bearer of bad news. The two are no longer together following a series of domestic assault allegations and a messy divorce.
10 That Time A COD Fan Was Inspired To Make His Own Guns
This genius wasn’t satisfied with the unlockable attachments earned from capturing flags and capping team red. So, he bought a 3D printer, scoured the internet for diagrams and made his own replica weapons. Following a police raid, it was found that CoD super fan Steven Sicen Sun had manufactured two replica Glocks and a Sig 250.
He was busted trying to sell one of the fake weapons online for $1 million. As it turns out, you require a license to manufacture firearms in the United States. I mean, who knew that they had laws protecting against the illegal manufacture of dangerous weapons? Obviously not this guy. Sun could face up to 20 years behind bars. Leave the gun-making to the gun makers and stick o video games. Okay? Okay.
9 That Time The Word Took Its Frustration Out With Paintballs
Perhaps this particular instance is an example of CoD haters going a little too far. At the Call of Duty XP 2016 fan event last year, Activision constructed a full-scale paintball arena, inspired by the legendary cod map Nuketown. Event participants were encouraged to battle it out with other CoD fans in real life, on this iconic map.
But the story doesn’t end there. Activision commissioned a Twitch controlled sentry gun, loaded with an unlimited supply of paintballs. CoD fans and haters alike took to Twitch to take out their virtual frustrations on real life CoD fans. And shoot people, they did. My only criticism is that they didn’t make a paintball inspired nuke, to shower all of the sweaty CoD fans with paint following the 10 minutes time limit. Sigh. A man can dream.
8 That Time Two People Used COD As A Dating Service
Online FPS gaming sure can bring out the worst in people. Typically, not the best way to begin a romantic relationship, but it looks like these two found the perfect balance. It all stemmed from a particularly ruthless battle and a perhaps a joke or two.
During a high stakes game of deathmatch, Gary Davy noticed that one particular opposing squad member kept cutting him down. So, he direct messaged them, pleading for mercy. It turns out that his nemesis, Kayleigh Hopgood, appreciated the message and lived merely 90 miles away.
A party invite turned in to a friendship which turned in to a full scale relationship. I hope they're happy. I hope they game together all of the time. And, I hope that their first dance as man and wife was to the tune of Rihanna’s “We Found Love”. Because TDM lobbies on Modern Warfare 2 truly are a hopeless place.
7 That Time They Made A Controller Look All Too Real
It’s never quite enough for serious first person shooter fans. Take the Delta Six motion controlled rifle controller for example. This $90 monstrosity is designed to mimic the motion, recoil and re-load mechanics of an actual rifle. It can even be modified to mimic a sub-machine gun or a sniper rifle.
Where the Delta Six stands out is its built in accelerometer, which eliminates the need for calibration and allows for the gun to be used at any distance and with any game. There are more mind-blowing features too. It can even initiate in-game down sight aiming by sensing he pressure of your cheek on the rifle’s stock.
It sure looks cool, but I think I’ll stick with my Xbox controller. Because, well... I just don’t think that buying a $90 fake gun to up my Call of Duty kill count will bring me any closer to my actual goal, of, you know... having a successful writing career.
6 That Time Mistakes Were Made At The Tattoo Parlour
With a large, international fan base comes a lot of unsavoury tattoos. There really are so many bad Call of Duty Tattoos that I have absolutely no idea where to start. How about the one above, with this ‘elite’ forearm tattoo that doubles as a job-repellant.
Or, how about this one, that pays tribute to the all powerful ray gun present in the ever popular Nazi Zombies mini game.
Or, how about this in-game tattoo that sparked the ire of a few American veterans. According to the vets, advertising your allegiance to the American military is a terrible idea if you’re trying to keep a low profile behind enemy lines. Settle down there vets. Nobody ever accused Call of Duty of being an accurate, historical representation of real-life warfare. Shots fired.
5 That Time They Said “I Do” To Call Of Duty
Nothing says true love like replica rifles and eye black, right? At least, not-so-newlyweds Justin and Kristian Rollins think so. As it turns out, a mutual love for Call of Duty brought this couple together. So, they decided to pay tribute to the game that stoked their passion with Call of Duty themed engagement photos and a military themed wedding.
The two took photos with guns, uniforms, an Xbox controller and a couch. Even the groomsmen and the bridesmaids got in on the action. The two are married now and still play CoD together all of the time. It just goes to show you that true love knows no bounds. What the in-laws think about the CoD themed wedding is yet to be determined.
4 That Time That Kid Committed Murder
Now, here’s a truly sad story out of Iowa back in 2012. A 14 Year old needed to be punished for getting bad grades. His mother and soon to be victim punished him the only way that she knew how, by confiscating his copy of Call of Duty. Well, that didn’t sit right with the kid. In a fit of blind rage, the teen from Osage, Iowa brought out his .22 rifle and shot his mother to death.
The scared teen proceeded to phone in the murder in a chilling 911 call where he rambled in panic. I don’t know how much this awful, awful turn of events has to do with Call of Duty per se. It probably had more to do with having unfettered access to his own gun. A gun that he was gifted at his 11th birthday.
3 That Time People Confused Real Dogs With Fake Ones
The Call of Duty franchise has a long, divisive legacy. Some hate it because it fails, year after year, to introduce anything remotely new to the genre. Some hate it because they prefer other FPS titles like Battlefield or Overwatch. And others still, simply have a problem with Call of Duty because it’s an easy target. Breanna Lucci, however, hates its valueless depiction of animals, particularly dogs, beginning in Call of Duty: World at War.
Her course of action was a petition to raise awareness. You can read the full story here. What I find interesting is that Lucci has absolutely no problem with the game's human victims. A scary thought considering Call of Duty sure chalks up a lot of human victims.
2 That Time A Kid Lost His Damn Mind
Spend any amount of time playing Call of Duty and you're bound to come across a few raging pre-pubescent idiots with too much time and too much access to sugar. But this one takes the cake. Before you watch the video, be warned. The audio is loud and unanimously NSFW. You’ve been warned.
Now, I must admit, I haven’t made it to the end of this video. The screaming is too insufferable. If you manage to get to the end of the video, than you’re a much stronger person than I am. I know the title claims that this is “The Greatest Freakout Ever on Call of Duty,” it’s pretty average. I’ve encountered worse. And I’m sure my days of listening to 13 years olds blow off steam online are far from over.
1 That Time A Grown Man Wore A Terrible Costume
Slow clap for the genius that came up with this Black Ops tribute. The gentlemen could have easily opted for the standard camo outfit paired with a toy gun and eye black, but no! He went full scale arts and crafts with this costume.
Call of Duty doesn’t lend itself particularly well to those that like to dress up. So, full marks to this champ for his creative DIY Xbox 360 cover costume. Hopefully, he can call his mom to pick him up from the convention though, because he may hard time driving home with his hands locked and loaded in a Black Ops box.