Grand Theft Auto V is coming up on five years old, and many people are still loving the incredible online portion of the game. Of course, the single player mode had tons of replay value and even when one is done the campaign, exploration potential is plentiful.
At the same time, however, a lot of us are starting to wonder: when will we hear something concrete about GTA VI? The rumor mill occasionally boots up and pumps out some speculative nonsense, but as of right now, it looks like there is nothing coming in the immediate future. The next time we see a new Grand Theft Auto, it very well may be on the PlayStation 5, which has no set release date.
Since the start of the 3D Universe (GTA III), we have seen three locales for the games. Liberty City (New York), San Andreas (California), and of course Vice City (Miami); each of which has its own charm and unique feel. GTA IV brought us to Liberty City, and we tore it apart as Niko Bellic. GTA V gave us the chance to play as three characters, and we took over as Michael, Franklin, and the unhinged maniac Trevor Philips. So we've seen the HD universe's version of Liberty City and San Andreas. The only one missing is Vice City.
Whether it is in the 1980s or present day, we need to take another trip down to Rockstar's thoroughly messed up take on Miami. Here are fifteen Vice City memes that will get you nostalgic for that game, and hopeful for a similar setting for GTA VI.
15 Was It Really That Small?
We'll start this off by saying nothing more than "that's what she said." It had to be done, not on to the work at hand.
When we were playing the game, it certainly didn't feel as though the map was that small, but looking at it from this aerial view there is no doubt. We can see everything there is to see, and while the map is fairly compact, it sure didn't feel that way, which speaks to the skill of the creative minds at Rockstar who made this feel like a great adventure in a massive Miami-based city.
Interesting to note is the fact that GTA III had a comparably sized map, but was spread out over three areas rather than two. Of course, San Andreas offered three decent sized cities in which to operate, and brought us into the age of huge open-world maps we have come to expect.
14 Video Game Logic
This is a popular meme for most open-world games; where are all the weapons when we carry them??!!
In some cases we get it, it's a video game, and you want the character to be able to carry as much as possible. A game like this shouldn't be too realistic as to make the player choose two weapons, a sidearm and possibly something for close range. At the same time, in other games, the character actually wears the kind of clothing that would allow multiple concealed weapons (military gear, etc). Tommy, on the other hand, is just wearing jeans and a Hawaiian shirt, where's he putting the rocket launcher, sniper rifle, shotgun, and assault rifle while he's got the Uzi out??
13 Tell Me How I'm Funny!
For those who don't know, this is a scene from one of the greatest mafia movies of all time Goodfellas. In this part of the movie, a group of mobsters are enjoying a drink at a local bar, when Henry Hill (Ray Liotta) has told Tommy DeVito (Joe Pesci) that he is funny. Pesci, who played a maniac in this movie and almost every other movie he was in throughout the 90s, pretended to take offense to being called funny, asking in what way he was funny, and of course whether he was a clown. After a few uneasy seconds and some fake outrage, everyone in the room realizes DeVito is joking and they have a good laugh.
Of course, there is no laughing when someone mentions GTA VI back in Vice City. This is all about business, we want to go to the south again and steal cars in beautiful Florida.
12 This Level Was Tough
"Demolition Man" is among the most difficult missions in the entire Grand Theft Auto franchise. Given by real estate developer Avery Carrington, the quest involves using an RC Goblin (toy helicopter) to plant bombs in a construction site, so that he can take over the operation. The obstacles in the mission are minimal, but include security guards with guns and construction workers with hammers — all of whom want to destroy the little chopper carrying bombs. But the mortal enemy in this mission is the time clock, which does not give you much time with which to work. We are willing to bet that this task was one that caused a lot of people to just drive around Vice City shooting random pedestrians.
11 That 80s Soundtrack
This goes without saying but music is one of those things that will never necessarily make or break a game, but great music can create ambiance, a sense of danger, urgency or well-being. There is a reason that many games, such as Chrono Trigger, a couple of Zelda titles, and a few of the Final Fantasy's are known for amazing music. In the case of most games, their scores are composed, while other games, like the GTA series, opt for licensing music from whatever era in which the story takes place.
While we'd never denigrate the music in other games in this franchise, Vice City may well have the greatest soundtrack of real world music that we've ever seen. It was good enough that we'd drive slow just to listen to that unreal solo around the end of Ozzy Osbourne's Bark at the Moon. You're damn right we didn't want to get out of the car, we were rocking out and head-banging.
10 Tommy Is Lonely, But Tommy Don't Care
At the start of the game, Tommy Vercetti was just out of prison and back on the scene in Vice. He didn't bother trying to reacquaint himself with the local strippers or find himself a cheap lay for the night, he got to work. As the game went on, he still didn't bother pursuing anyone.
Most other GTA protagonists have had a woman in the picture. Claude, of course, was taking a break from dating after his nightmarish experience with Catalina, but he did have a (sort of) thing with Maria. CJ dated six women if you played the game right, and since then, most characters have had some degree of a love life. Not Tommy though, even though he took over the city, he never bothered to get involved with romantic entanglements. What does that tell you, kids? It tells you Tommy was likely just really into those Miami prostitutes.
9 Every Motorcycle Was Also A Slingshot In The 80s
The whole "crash and go flying" mechanic wasn't done very well in Vice City: sometimes it would work as intended, but other times, not so much. It seemed that one would either flip over the handlebars and land a foot in front of the vehicle after a high-speed crash, or you'd have a minor crash and end up halfway across the map. We aren't necessarily complaining; it is an early 2000s game and elements like this are still shaky to this day. But it sure was hilarious when a slow moving vehicle would hit something, and poor Tommy would get launched over trees and onto another city block.
8 The Parody Account Makes A Hilarious Point
In late 2016, this Facebook page was the center of some controversy, as some people online thought that it was the real Facebook page of a judicial body in Bombay (Mumbai), India. The two young men who created the page, and it earned them over 300,000 followers.
ttWhile the page is satire and exists completely to make jokes, they might be onto something here. Sure, we all play GTA games to enjoy a little mayhem, but maybe we should be wary of those who play the game to just venture through the city without a goal in mind causing generalized mayhem? No, those are the most awesome players of all, and since the advent of GTA Online, tearing through San Andreas causing wanton destruction is now normal. What a time to be alive.
7 It's A Passion, I Guess
Obviously, when you're new to the city, and there isn't much green lining the pockets, you "gotta do what you gotta do" to make some money. At that point, a job as a pizza delivery man isn't a terrible idea for the purposes of making some coin and learning the layout of the city at the same time. But the option remains available later on in the game after Tommy has essentially taken over the entire city, doing everything from robbing banks to wiping out his competition and hanging out with rock stars. Then again, maybe he just likes to sit on a scooter and enjoy some alone time with his thoughts. Maybe he just has a passion for pizza. "Vercetti" sounds like an Italian last name, maybe he just wants to honor his heritage and bring pizza to people throughout Vice.
6 The Game Toys With You
Throughout Vice City, there are tons of places to store awesome cars and tons of awesome cars with which to stock your garage. On the south end of Little Havana, you have Sunshine Autos, a car dealership of which Tommy Vercetti can take control, using the numerous garages to store cars, tanks and whatever he wants. But as seems to be the trend in GTA games, they're never where you want them. When you're looking for that one beautiful car, whether it be a Banshee, Infernus or Cheetah, it will take you forever to look, and when you finally find one (whether you got lucky or had to look it up online), that car will spawn EVERYWHERE. Oh, Rockstar, why must you play with my heart?
5 Paramedics Are More Careful In Real Life
Tommy Vercetti and every other protagonist in this series who has undertaken some paramedic missions, have got to be among the worst people to have ever worked in that profession. We've all been there: you hop in the ambulance and go grab your first patient, and then the clock starts. You have X amount of time to get this person to the hospital, and it is not close. So what do you do? Drive like you usually do when you're on a timeline, you don't want that poor soul to die, do you?
So in the process of getting one person (who may or may not make it) to the hospital, you inevitably have turned that operating room on wheels into a rolling instrument of death, causing harm to pedestrians and vehicles alike, while probably causing tons of property damage along the way. We love this example of GTA irony.
4 The Rhino
There are some impressively strong trees in the 3D universe. Fire hydrants, streetlights, mailboxes, and fences were clearly not bolted to the ground, but those trees are some kind of impressive in terms of their ability to take damage. The Rhino can pick up some impressive speed, and has more power than it needs, not just crushing other vehicles on the road, but actually causing them to explode on contact, not to mention that the tank can actually easily defeat just about any opposition sent out during a six-star rampage.
But alas, trees are this war machine's kryptonite, stopping the battle tank dead in its tracks. It leaves us asking, what are they watering the trees with down in Vice City?
3 Early 3D Universe Characters Needed Water Wings
Like any good video game player-character, Tommy Vercetti is pretty much God. He can drive any car he wants. He soaks up bullet damage with ease and can live through vehicular crashes that would put others in their graves. He's strong enough to carry more weapons than a small infantry squad, and can hit a fly at half a mile, but asking poor Tommy to hop in the water and go for a swim is too much for him to handle. This has to be one of those Indiana Jones situations, in which the character is such a beast that there is only one thing they really can't handle. In the case of Indy, it was snakes, but for Tommy (and Claude from GTA III), it is water.
2 Yeah, This Is Every GTA Game
Whether or not anyone should care about the carrying of a weapon in public may just depend on where one lives. If you're in an open carry state, then seeing a person walk around with a rifle might not be anyone over which to get worked up. At the same time, a sniper rifle like this may be reason enough to avoid eye contact but maybe keep an eye on the person. Seeing as Vice City is Miami, and Miami is in Florida, Florida requires one to have a license to openly carry, so maybe some public outrage would result from lugging around this gun.
Of course, firing one bullet from this weapon would likely make everyone in the street run away in a state of terror.
1 Good Point
There are tons of games out there with ridiculous NPC behavior. For instance, have you ever noticed that in Fallout: New Vegas, at the Crimson Caravan Company headquarters, there are people in there who are just sweeping dirt? No, not sweeping dirt within buildings to clean up, but rather just pushing dirt around with brooms out in fields??!! Who is in charge of that mess of a company??!!
This is more of the same. This is an impossibility — one cannot navigate a beach in roller skates. How strong was the cocaine back in the 1980s? That has to be it. This is as ridiculous as it is hilarious.