Grand Theft Auto has been a best-selling — and highly controversial — series for a long time. It has had a total of 11 main titles (including the first game), and spin-offs have been developed by Rockstar. While all titles have sold fairly well, the latest entry in the franchise — Grand Theft Auto V — that has seen an absolutely otherworldly level of success with around 75 million copies sold as of February 2017. To put these sales figure into context, Grand Theft Auto IV sold 25 million copies.
There are many reasons for the success that Grand Theft Auto has received. From a strong marketing campaign, to excellent production values, all the way to the inclusion of multiplayer in the franchise, Grand Theft Auto has been monumental. However, even a title as great as Grand Theft Auto V has made a few missteps. In this article, we'll focus specifically on the missions of Grand Theft Auto V — specifically the ones that didn't seem great when compared to the rest of the series. Here are 15 of the worst missions in Grand Theft Auto V that bring shame to the title, if not the entire series.
15 Did Somebody Say Yoga?
There's absolutely no way one can make a list like this and not include this mission — if you can even call it that. In a game that's known for shooting, sniping, blasting, exploding, racing, crashing, speeding, stealing, and killing (among many other things). Frankly, the last thing you'd expect to do is freaking yoga.
And yet, that's exactly what 'Did Somebody Say Yoga?' is — a mission where you do some insanely stupid quick time events with Michael that requires near-precise analog control. One can argue that this is a mission that essentially parodies the usage of quicktime events in gaming, but after a point this mission becomes a parody of itself. Thankfully, there's a (slightly) more interesting part where you get to experience a drug-induced trip through Michael's eyes before he wakes up to his entire family leaving him.
14 Scouting The Port
Trevor is the most entertaining main character in Grand Theft Auto V, if not the entire series. His hilarious redneck antics, penchant for destruction, and a dismissive attitude towards human life make him one of the most uniquely charming characters that Rockstar have churned out. However, one of his character-specific missions does nothing to take advantage of this character.
In Scouting The Port, you control Trevor in what is probably one of the most boring missions in the game. You need to maintain cover as you take pictures of a ship that you'll assault in a heist mission. In order to keep yourself inconspicuous, you'll need to do menial cargo worker tasks... which is as much fun as it sounds like. Obviously, people boot up Grand Theft Auto V just to drive slow forklifts and move around containers using a crane.
It seems that missions that involve trains in the Grand Theft Auto series always end up becoming unnecessarily frustrating for no reason whatsoever. Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas probably has the most infuriating one of them all — Wrong Side Of The Tracks — but Grand Theft Auto V provides some fairly decent competition with Derailed.
The opening of the mission involves a pretty difficult jump in order to get Trevor on the top of the train as he uses his dirtbike to facilitate the leap. Trying to nail this jump is pretty hard on the first try, and Rockstar even acknowledges this with one of the Gold Medal Objectives named 'Better Than CJ,' which involves making this hard jump on the very first try.
12 Boiler Suits
Heist missions are one of the major additions to Grand Theft Auto V, putting an interesting spin on the normal structure of missions and cranking up the action (and music) all the way up to 11. These missions are hyped up so much in game that there are even some pre-heist missions that are there simply to hype up the actual heists. However, some of these missions turn out to be just time-wasting filler.
One such mission is the Boiler Suit mission, where all you need to do is buy some boiler suits. No seriously, that's it. In order to add some replayability, Rockstar also added some gold challenges for this mission as well, because why the hell not.
If for some reason you don't mind this 'mission,' then Rockstar decided to add another mission like this as well...
Yep, just like the previous entry on this list, Masks is another pre-heist mission where you need to — you guessed it — buy masks. For some reason, Rockstar decided to include this as a full mission, and just like Boiler Suits you also have the opportunity to get gold in this mission as well... because being a completionist is probably the most boring thing ever.
Of course, not all pre-heist missions are as mind-numbing as this one. There are some pretty decent ones that do contribute in building some hype up for this mission. Sometimes though, just like the last two entries on this list, there are missions that fail to do so even if they don't involve going to a store and buying stupid stuff.
Heist setup missions are pretty hit-or-miss in Grand Theft Auto V, and the creatively-name mission Minisub is a glaring example of a miss. You end up controlling Trevor in a rather boring mission as you try and steal a submarine (something that sounds really cool but isn't in practice) to prepare for an upcoming heist.
What really sucks all the fun out of this mission is how slowly everything moves. Taking the submarine back to safety is an arduous process on its own due to the lack of acceleration, and the tractor trailer that you use to haul the submarine on land is not exactly the fastest vehicle either. This makes for a mission that feels more like a chore and less like fun.
9 Exercising The Truth
'The Truth' is a series of hidden missions that you can find by using the in-game browser to visit the Epsilon Program website. This particular 'religious' sect has been serving as a parody of Scientology for a while in the Grand Theft Auto universe, and they have their biggest role in Grand Theft Auto V.
There are eight missions in 'The Truth' series, and while none of them are anything to write home about. The worst mission in this series by a country mile is 'Exercising The Truth.' In this mission, you need to run five real miles in the desert under threat of death from the various annoying cougars that roam the area. There are exploits to do this mind-numbing task quickly, but for those who don't know about them, this mission is an absolute pain to finish.
8 Reuniting The Family
Michael's family has its moments in Grand Theft Auto V. Unfortunately, this mission is not one of them. After the events of Did Somebody Say Yoga? (another heart-pounding mission like this one) Michael's family life is in shambles. His wife and children leave him for what seems like a terribly short amount of time, after which Jimmy comes up in order to reunite with Michael and bring the family back.
What follows is a lot of driving around and watching cutscenes, something that's not exactly what one expects from a Grand Theft Auto mission. The only interesting part of this mission is when you tattoo something rather... crude on a producer who's coaxing Michael's daughter Stacey into doing something rather inappropriate.
7 Pulling Favors
Grand Theft Auto V made a lot of improvements to the series' driving mechanics, adding various little nuances and details that lead to arguably the most fun one could have while driving in a video game (except for the racing titles... obviously). But there's a limit to how much one can enjoy driving certain vehicles, and Pulling Favors is one example that exposes these shortcomings.
There are tons of annoying missions in the Grand Theft Auto series that force you to drive a slow truck or some other vehicle of the sort that — adding to this already boring premise — also happens to be dragging something behind it which is crucial to said mission. In Pulling Favors, you control Franklin as you use a tow truck in order to slowly impound vehicles since apparently that's exactly what people want to do when they play a game like Grand Theft Auto V.
6 The Traithlons
Here's a side activity that caters to the needs of those people who actually like mashing the X/A button for a stupidly long amount of time. The Triathlons in Grand Theft Auto V are probably one of the most mind-numbingly boring tasks in the entire game, where you need to run, swim and cycle your way to finish line in a multi-stage marathon that should be awesome but isn't in the slightest.
All three tasks share the same basic function — tap X or A as fast as humanely possible in order to go fast. The worst offender is the last triathlon, which is a whopping thirty minutes long in real time. That's thirty minutes of tapping the X/A button mindlessly and praying that you won't lose so that you won't have to do the same thing all over again.
5 Cleaning Out The Bureau
Surprise, surprise — another heist mission with a ton of driving around, waiting and cutscenes. This time, you control Michael as you participate in a boring stakeout, waiting outside the building for a janitor before tailing him to his house in the hopes of taking his janitor outfit and ID.
The worst part about this mission is that after you manage to tail this particular janitor back to his house... pretty much nothing noteworthy happens. You just have to sit through a cutscene as Michael simply buys the janitor's ID and clothes, before driving to a garment factory. I guess Rockstar were simply saving the action for the heist this mission is setting up.
Speaking of which...
4 The Bureau Raid
This inclusion might be a bit too harsh, since the Bureau Raid isn't that bad. In fact, it's one of the better heist missions in Grand Theft Auto V and would've evaded this list completely... had it not been for its painfully slow starting phase.
If you take the 'Covert' approach to this mission (and let's be honest, most people did that), you'll initially take control of Michael in a janitor uniform as he drives towards the FIB building. The goal is to keep your cover by mopping dirty parts of the floor as he plants bombs in different locations in the building. This part of the mission mainly boils down to mop the floor, clean the mop, mop the floor again, walk slowly towards the next dirty section (since running will make you slip on the wet floor) and repeat this boring cycle all over again.
At least the heist picks up after a while, which is more that what can be said for...
3 The Merryweather Heist
Remember that slow submarine you had to steal? In this heist, no matter which path you choose you'll still have to use this particular vehicle, so good luck with that. Considering the fact that this is the first heist that all three members participate in, one might be a bit disappointed since this mission doesn't live up to any of the other heists in the game.
It's not that the mission isn't good, but calling it a heist seems somewhat over the top considering that most of the stuff you do in this mission is done in a ton of other jobs as well. The worst part is that everything you do in this mission will pretty much be useless, since the device you steal turns out to be a super-weapon that needs to be returned immediately — an infuriating end to a underwhelming heist.
2 Friend Request
Lifeinvader is the fairly obvious parody of Facebook that exists within the game, and one of the missions in Grand Theft Auto V involves sneaking into one of the Lifeinvader offices and installing an explosive in a prototype phone. While this sounds fairly interesting, the mission itself is a rigorous test of patience.
Instead of simply rigging the prototype and exiting the building, Michael is forced to install an anti-virus software on an infected computer. As if this task wasn't enough of a pain in itself, you also need to close a ton of annoying pop-ups that come up on the PC while you're trying to install said software. At least the payoff is worth it, when you go back home and see the CEO of Lifeinvader blast his head on live TV.
1 By The Book
Well... one doesn't really require an explanation as to why this mission has made this list. The unnecessary and disturbing torture scene is this mission led to a huge controversy when Grand Theft Auto V was released, and for good reason — the mission itself would've been fairly run-of-the-mill had it not been for the inclusion of this tasteless scene.
In order to attain information on a target, you'll control Trevor — obviously — as you brutally torture an innocent person. The longer you play this mission, the more you end up realizing just how unnecessary this entire ordeal is. After you're done with the bulk of the mission, you'll drive the poor soul to the airport as Trevor tries to poorly define his reasoning for the torture he'd inflicted.