Happy Home Paradise is the best thing to happen to Animal Crossing: New Horizons since the pandemic. After investing 250 hours in it originally, I’ve recently dove back in and have been reinvigorated by the freedom the interior design focused expansion offers. It even frees me from my villager’s terrible taste. The most important thing it does, however, is free me from the clutches of Isabelle. Lottie, I love you. Isabelle, you are trash.

For many Animal Crossing fans, this will be sacrilege. Isabelle, at least over the past two games, has been a crucial lynchpin holding Animal Crossing together. She seems to run the town, while Tom Nook collects the cash and probably drinks on the job. But then, does Isabelle really run the town? Isn’t that your job?

Related: Oh No, My Animal Crossing Anxiety Is BackYou build the town square. You build the museum. You plant the trees, dig up the fossils, catch the bugs, and decide where the houses go. Every single piece of decoration on the island comes from you, not Isabelle. I’m willing to concede that she may be the one who coordinates with the likes of Lief, but I’m also willing to admit I don’t care. Ooh plant seeds. Great. You’re earning your Bells there, Isabelle. The best visitor is Redd, and he’s a smuggler who sneaks onto the island anyway.

A Screenshot Of Animal Crossing Game Play Showing Isabelle In Resident Services Making Her Daily Announcements.

And she’s so. damn. boring. Every day she has something to say. You boot up the game, and there’s Isabelle, daft little smile in a daft little cardigan. “Hello! Here’s four panels of unskippable dialogue! I found a sock in the washing basket or some shit. Oops, guess that’s an incredible waste of your time to tell you that every day. At least when there’s an event I’ll be here to drip feed you information you’ve already learned from playing!”

No one really likes Isabelle. You’ve just convinced yourself you do, either because the game gives her an inflated importance or because of all the weird fan art. She offers no value. The fanbase has just decided they love her and everyone is too scared to point out she’s trash. Well, I’m not scared. You’re trash, Isabelle.

It’s been so long since we started the game, we forget how little Isabelle matters. For anyone restarting the game, they’ll have noticed, probably with some surprise, that Isabelle takes ages to even turn up. You’re basically done by the time she arrives to help out. She’s the USA and your island is World War 1.

Animal Crossing New Horizons Happy Home Paradise Lottie annoucing Happy Home Academy partnership

There is none of this with Lottie. Yes, she asks you to work for her, but she actually pays you for it. Granted, you can only spend the money in her gift shop, but it’s a lot better than your arrangement with Isabelle. Also, while Lottie delivers updates just like Isabelle, she only does that when you directly go and speak to her, rather than deliberately disrupting your day.

In fact, if you end up staying on the Happy Home Paradise island, when you boot the game up, Niko just says “didn’t make it back to your island, eh?” No blathering about what he watched on TV last night, no essay about a sock. Just “hello, now you can play the game,” and you’re on your way.

Isabelle’s unceasing positivity is just annoying, but at least Lottie is making a sale. “Oh wow, you want us to design a dream home based around a towel rack, a candle, and a basket of fruit? What a wonderful cohesive theme!” She’s a ruthless entrepreneur, and I love it.

Isabelle, you suck. I don’t know why everyone likes you. I don’t know why anyone likes you. Friendship ended with Isabelle, now Lottie is my best friend.

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