Barbie was a single woman for two years until Mattel decided to give her a boyfriend, in the form of Ken Carson. You likely didn't know that Ken had a surname, as he has mainly been known by his first name throughout his career, like Cher.

Ken has spent his fictional lifespan as little more than the distaff counterpart to whatever Barbie is doing at that time. Is Barbie a princess this week? Then Ken needs to be a prince. Has Barbie just saved Frodo from the wrath of the Nazgul? Then Ken needs to become the King of Gondor and marry her quickly before she becomes the main character.

Barbie has worn some ridiculous (and sometimes offensive) clothes in her time, but at least she has the star power to walk it off when things become embarrassing. Ken doesn't have the clout that Barbie does, which means that his silly outfits tend to stick around in the memory of the public for longer.

We are here today to look at the Ken dolls that your kids won't be happy to see under the Christmas tree. From the frightening real-life Prince, to the Ken that haunts Jurassic Park.

Here are the Twenty Worst Ken Dolls Of All Time!

20 The Least Princely Ken

Modern action figures that are based on real people tend to look realistic, due to the advances in scanning technology. If you can get Robert Downey Jr. to agree to sit in a booth and have his face scanned with lasers for a few minutes, then you will have some amazing looking Iron Man toys at the end.

Prince William's face would only make sense if the Joker crashed the royal wedding and doused the happy couple with his Joker Gas.

Prince William clearly didn't allow his face to be scanned for the Royal Wedding Barbie set. The sculptor must have been forced to use pictures in order to create the face, which is why it is so horrifying. This means that the Prince William figure has a face that is locked in a terrifying smile.

19 Gone With The Wind Ken

Gone with the Wind is one of the most highly acclaimed movies of all time. It's also nearly four hours long, so good luck trying to get a young child to sit down and watch it. There are other problems with Gone with the Wind which should really preclude it from being the subject of a Barbie or Ken doll. We could talk all day about the accusations of being against certain races or its graphic depiction of war.

The real reason why Rhett Butler is a scumbag and should never be the inspiration for a Ken doll is the scene where he mistreats his wife. Who thought he would make for an appropriate subject of a doll for kids?

18 Real-Life Scumbag Ken

We have to be fair to Mattel here and say that they probably planned the release of this doll long before its subject became the focus of a real-life controversy. Alice Through the Looking Glass was the sequel to Alice in Wonderland. The latter film made over a billion dollars at the box office and is currently the 30th highest-grossing film of all time. Alice Through the Looking Glass barely broke even, even though both films received roughly the same critical reception.

So what was the problem? A lot of people have attributed the problems with the film to the fact that Johnny Depp (who plays the Mad Hatter) was being accused of mistreatment by his former wife, Amber Heard. Despite the controversy, the Mad Hatter Ken doll was still released.

17 It Was A Different Time Ken

There has been a lot of discussion about the themes of Mad Men. The real reason the show existed wasn't due to a desire to tell an interesting story, but to show off all of the cool things you could do in the '60s, like drinking and smoking in the office. Mad Men was the show for people who dream about their female coworkers on a regular basis, which covered for the sometimes lackluster storylines.

Mad Men was a highly provocative show in almost every way imaginable, but it also managed to inspire a renewed interest in '60s fashion. This is the reason why a Don Draper Ken doll was released, even though kids really shouldn't be watching Mad Men in the first place.

16 Prime Directive Breaking Ken

There have been Captain Kirk Ken dolls based on the two main actors who have played the role over the years; William Shatner and Chris Pine. Captain Kirk has a reputation for being a womanizer, which is something that has been overexaggerated by the fact that he isn't picky when it comes to the species of his chosen women. Captain Kirk had more genuine romantic relationships than his reputation for hanging out with green women would suggest.

While Captain Kirk's reputation with the ladies might be overblown, his penchant for distracting his female opponents with a kiss before punching them is well-founded indeed. You would think that a Starfleet officer would use different distractions. Honor code and whatnot.

15 Love Triangle Ken

Barbie dolls are intended for an audience of young girls, even though there are plenty of adult collectors of the toys. It might be surprising to learn that there were quite a few Twilight Barbies released over the years, which lasted until the final movie.

Jacob was one of the most popular Twilight characters, which was helped by the fact that he spent most of his time showing off his abs. What makes Jacob such an unusual choice is that they were still making Ken dolls of him until the final movie, which was the point at which he fell in love with Renesmee and was one errant diaper change away from being put on a government list for the rest of his life.

14 The Associate Ken

There is no denying that Frank Sinatra was an amazing musician, but he also happened to be an incredibly sketchy guy and was not the sort of figure who deserved to have dolls based upon him, especially not the kind that is meant for children.

Frank Sinatra was accused of being an associate of the Mafia throughout his life, with many prominent mobsters confirming this fact during wiretapped conversations. There is evidence to suggest that Sinatra's career was started due to his connections to organized crime, with fake rallies being financed by the Mafia in order to make him look like a star. This is to say nothing of how Sinatra was mysteriously let out of his deal with Tommy Dorsey, which is said to have inspired the creation of Johnny Fontane in The Godfather. 

13 What's Wrong With Beast's Face Ken

Beauty and the Beast was a hugely popular Disney film that transcended its status as an animated movie and found genuine acclaim that resulted in several Academy Awards being won. The popularity of Beauty and the Beast, especially among young girls, meant that Barbie dolls were inevitable. Belle was easy enough to do, as was the human form of the Prince, but what about the Beast?

Beast doesn't fit the mold, which means that a new doll needed to be made for him.

We could have chosen from several different Beast/Ken dolls for this list, as they have almost all been terrible. The reasons for this have ranged from disturbing grins to cheap hair that looks like it was taken from the back of rat's knees.

12 The Name Is Carson. Ken Carson.

Ken usually stands in the shadow of his more famous girlfriend, which often means that Barbie gets the top billing in each set and he has to settle for not even having his name on the box. The James Bond 007 Ken doll changes all that and allows him to be the star for a change. Barbie doesn't even get a proper character name for this set and is just referred to as a "Bond Girl" which never says much about their intelligence when used in this context. James Bond is beloved by women everywhere for his charm and swagger. He is also a sneakily attacking spy who commits crimes on foreign soil in all of his films.

11 The Romance Novel Ken

The Raider is a book that can best be classified as a fun time for lonely women. It's the story of Alexander Montgomery, who acts the fool but is secretly a masked vigilante who is trying to chase the British out of New England. This brings him to the attention of a fiery beauty by the name of Jessica Taggert, who is unaware of his real identity.

The Raider is exactly what you'd expect from a historical romance novel. It's not as crazy as the kind of things that kids would see on the Internet nowadays, but it's still not appropriate material for a Barbie & Ken set. It doesn't help that the lovestruck expression on Barbie & Ken's face makes them look out of it.

10 $3 Beard Ken

There have been plenty of Ken dolls that feature facial hair. This is usually accomplished by making the beard part of his face so that it is just another extension of Ken's head that is also made of plastic.

The Ken doll that comes as part of the Merlin & Morgan Le Fey Barbie set has major problems with his facial hair. The main issue is that his beard, hair, and mustache are all connected as one piece, which makes it look like Ken is wearing a giant balaclava made from a sheepskin rug. It's a shame that they cheaped out on the hair on Merlin Ken, as the rest of the accessories and clothes that come with the figure are impressive.

9 Final Fantasy Ken

There have been several Barbie collections that are based on showing the various stereotypes of each country, such as the Spanish Barbie being dressed like a matador. Ken has usually been left out of these international adventures, even if it means Barbie wearing outfits that are usually considered to be masculine, as was the case with the matador outfit. Ken has only been featured in one of Barbie's international collections and it is the figure you see above, which is referred to as Japan Ken.

A far more appropriate name would be "Anime Filler Boss Ken" or "Hentai Villain Ken."

This awful design can only mean one thing... that's right, Tetsuya Nomura is secretly the head of Mattel, which actually explains why we have had to wait so long for Kingdom Hearts III. 

8 Generic Villain Ken

The Wizard of Oz has had several Barbie dolls based on it. This is one franchise where Ken doesn't have to be left out in the cold, as there can be Ken dolls based on Dorothy's companions, while still giving Barbie the spotlight.

It seems that the people at Mattel must have been short of a few figures for their The Wizard of Oz collection, as they decided that Ken needs to do even more work than normal and appear as a generic Winkle Guard. These are the guys who stomp around and sing songs outside of the Wicked Witch's lair. The only reason to buy this figure is for the little Flying Monkey toy, which is admittedly pretty cool.

7 Pride Weekend Ken

Ken has undergone many different changes in his style, which is linked to the fact that he (like Barbie) is supposed to be clothed in the fashions of the day. It was inevitable that Ken would eventually reach a metro style, which resulted in the Earring Magic Ken. Earring Magic Ken is actually the best-selling Ken doll of all time. This was due to the fact that his new design attracted a sizeable audience of gay men.

It was this newfound audience that led to Earring Magic Ken being discontinued, as there were newspaper columns that claimed that the metal circles on his outfit were meant to be reminiscent of a specific kind of toy.

6 Gangsta Rap Ken

When you think of the rap music in the '90s, the first name that comes to mind is usually Ken. Biggie Smalls, Dr. Dre, and Tupac had nothing on Ken's jammin' beat!

Rappin' Rockin' Ken comes with a boombox, a gold chain, and some dope lyrics about performing a drive-by on the Cabbage Patch Kids. 

Rappin' Rockin' Ken seems to come from the Fresh Prince school of pop rap, You can tell from his neon colored garb and the jammin' beat that is promised to erupt from his baby blue speakers. It would make sense to release a boy band version of Ken, considering the target audience for Barbie dolls, but is a generic Rappin' Rockin' guy really a suitable replacement?

5 Where's Martha? Ken

There have been quite a few Barbie and Ken dolls based on superheroes that have been released over the years. These have almost exclusively been based on DC characters, with Barbie dressing like Supergirl and Wonder Woman, while Ken has dressed like Batman and Superman.

There have been several Ken dolls based on Batman, but these have usually been modeled after the Adam West version of the character. 

The Batman v Superman: Dawn of Justice Ken doll was an odd choice, considering how violent the version of Batman in that movie turned out to be. This is a Ken doll of a Batman that went after criminals by branding them and would later try to take Superman's life. This is to say nothing of his love of guns.

4 Who Would Ever Buy This Ken

Speed Racer (known as Mach GoGoGo in Japan) was one of the few early anime shows to make it to America in the '60s. The series was never a huge hit, but it remained in the public consciousness thanks to syndication and reruns during the early days of MTV.

Speed Racer would return when it was adapted into a feature film, which was directed by the Wachowski Brothers. Speed Racer was a notorious box office bomb that was savaged by critics at the time of its release. With all of that information in mind: why would Mattel base a Ken doll on a relatively obscure cartoon show from the '60s or its movie adaptation? The other question you have to ask is who would buy this doll in the first place?

3 Conspiracy Theory Ken

The X-Files earned a sizeable fanbase of people who were only interested in seeing the resolution to the romance between Mulder and Scully. The conspiracy theories and government cover-ups were only a backdrop to the burgeoning love story between a man with no personality and a woman with a bad personality.

The Mulder Ken doll is the perfect toy for any child who loves conspiracy theories.

The X-Files was a great TV show (or at least it was during its early seasons) but it wasn't exactly family friendly. There were some genuinely disturbing episodes of The X-Files, some of which included the likes of inter-family breeding and infant mortality. It was hardly a show that should be promoted towards kids.

2 Heavily Tattooed Ken

The success of Twilight led to numerous movie adaptations of superficially similar YA novels being green-lighted by studios. One of these was Divergent, which followed a society where the citizens' roles were assigned to them in order to prevent any independent thought. The first two movies did well at the box office, but the third tanked hard, which led to the fourth movie being cancelled and forced the series to move to television.

Divergent Barbie dolls were made for the first film in the series. These included a Ken doll based on the character of Four, which comes with numerous tacky looking tattoos already inscribed upon its body. This figure can also double as "Frat Boy Ken" or "Imagine Dragons Fan Ken."

1 T-Rex Arms Ken

The first ever Ken doll was released in 1961, which was only two years after the debut of Barbie. The production techniques and sculpting of the '60s weren't as refined as they are today, which is why the old dolls have some... peculiar proportions.

Ken suffered the most from the primitive production techniques of the day, as his first ever doll had a major issue with its arms. The original Ken doll had tiny little arms that were dwarfed by a broad chest and shoulders, which made him look like he was designed by Paul Dini. The original Ken doll saw a rerelease for his 45th anniversary, which means that an entirely new generation of children can enjoy the version of Ken that had tiny T-Rex arms.