Lizards! These cold-blooded little fellas are an order all their own, quite literally. They're also a popular piece of the animal kingdom within the gaming world. They're seen in every genre, from Triple-A and indie games alike. The best lizards in gaming are the single-brain-celled weirdos. They eat bugs, scamper around, hide in weird places, and encourage humanity's downfall. But which one is the prime example of this behavior? Who is the true Lizard King of video games?
Before we begin, there are a few clarifications we'd like to make. We're talking about lizards specifically, not turtles, snakes, etc. So while it may seem weird to be missing characters like the Klaptraps or Bowser, that might have been why. Also, the rankings we've chosen are based on how good of 'lizards' they are. Sure, Yoshi is a pretty fantastic character, but as far as lizard-like behavior goes, he's hardly even reptilian.
10 Gex
Gex was a series of video games in the mid to late '90s based around a character of the same name. It features Gex as he makes his way through various TV-centric environments. All the while, he cracks various one-liners relating to specific real-world actors and actresses. Given the quickly-aging nature of media culture, many, if not all, of these jokes are terribly outdated.
Let's cut right to the chase; Gex is arguably the worst lizard. He's a gecko, but he's about as lizard-like as Triumph the Insult Comic Dog and somehow less funny (how's THAT for outdated cultural references?). His diet consists of human junk food, he wears full suits, and he's too easily influenced by large-scale bribery. Real lizards are anti-authoritarian and will reject the idea of government-run money.
9 Espio The Chameleon - Sonic The Hedgehog
At first glance, it can be hard to tell what exactly Espio is, which can be said about most Sonic characters. Espio was first introduced in the spin-off title Knuckles' Chaotix. He is a member of the Chaotix Detective Agency, utilizing a ninja but also military training background (it doesn't make sense to us, either) to solve mysteries.
Espio's most lizard-esque quality, beyond the chameleon camouflage, is his overall personality. The quiet and reserved one of the group, he prefers less talk and more results. He's also both stubborn and very self-assured. He is confident that he is the greatest thing to walk the Earth, and that's something all reptiles can respect. But with the lack of impulsiveness, skittering around, and the bipedal penalty, he ranks lower on the list.
8 Lizzie - Rampage
Lizzie is a complicated one. A playable character in the Rampage series of games, she is a gigantic lizard that runs around various towns, destroying buildings and eating people. The wanton destruction and absolute disregard for the government perfectly align with lizard ideology. Her willingness to eat just about whatever is also a wonderful lizard trait. The main problem is that she isn't a lizard most of the time.
Canonically, she is a human scientist who was transformed into a giant lizard from radioactive exposure. As soon as her in-game health hits zero, she reverts back to a normal human again. When transformed, she's a good lizard. But it's like calling a werewolf one of the best dogs; there's a disconnect there.
7 Reptile - Mortal Kombat
Reptile begin as just another ninja, but in green, back in the original Mortal Kombat game. But as the lore was established, he became a non-human creature originating in Outworld. We're not sure where Outworld Saurians line up on the taxonomy charts, but he has limbs, a tail, and scales. And with a name like "Reptile," we're inclined to take his word for it.
Reptile is the unrealistic body standards that lizards put on themselves. He's aggressive, he's fast, he's smelly, and he's dangerous. He is the action hero movie star of cold-blooded life that they will love to watch but never be themselves, like a smellier John Wick. He also strikes us as an opportunistic eater, willing to chomp down on bugs and meat alike with equal fervor. The biggest things holding him back are the level of intelligence he showcases and, of course, the bipedal penalty.
6 All Those Different Pokemon
There are enough lizard Pokemon to be a list in and of itself, so instead of congesting this one with the charmanders and the kecleons, they're getting their own entry, with all of them taken into consideration. Overall, they do a fantastic job of highlighting real lizard-like biology. They have narrow bodies, funny walks, and unique colorations. They even skitter!
What holds them back is their complete lack of lizard-like behavior. Pokemon is a game about friendship; of course you can befriend them. But that's not what a lizard would do. Real lizards would hiss at you and run away as quickly as possible. Then when you're sleeping, they'd sneak in and steal your wallet to commit a crime with.
5 Davy - Chameleon Twist
This 3D adventure game was developed for the Nintendo 64 in 1997. The plot is simple, a normal chameleon named Davy saw the Alice in Wonderland rabbit jump into a magic portal and decided to follow them. This transformed them into some Bomberman-looking thing with super tongue abilities. They then spend the rest of the game running around, eating every bug they can find.
The impulsive lack of thought, the physical form (when not transformed), and the absolute buffet of insects they consume make Davy's time into a literal lizard dream. It's just them and as many ants, bees, and beetles as they can get their long sticky tongue on. Talk about paradise. It's a darn shame they didn't retain their normal reptilian form. We can't remark on their willingness to commit crimes or hiss at humans since the opportunity never arose in the games.
4 Lizalfos - The Legend Of Zelda
These classic Zelda enemies have made quite a name for themselves. Lizalfos are best known for their funny screams and how they jump around sporadically in combat. But they're more than just a bouncy enemy; they're darn good lizards.
We see the best of this in Breath of the Wild, where they go from guards and dungeon dwellers to their own nests living naturally in the world. This lets them really live in the lizard truth. They're unfriendly to outsiders, frantically run around, and are dumb as rocks. They don't sacrifice their reptilian value for the sake of humans, and we love that.
3 Komodo Dragon - Far Cry 3
Perhaps it's a little unfair to include a non-fictionalized lizard on the list, but this one deserves to be included. These large reptiles found throughout the island in Far Cry 3 behave exactly how you would expect a lizard the size of a dog to: with complete audacity. If you enter their territory and they find out, they'll make it their personal mission to inform you as violently and rudely as possible.
This is how all lizards would behave if they could. And many of them can! Lizards are territorial, and they will not hesitate to show you that. Komodo dragons are simply big enough to really drive the point home. They don't get to do a lot in the game, unfortunately, existing as just another hostile creature. But what they do, they do very well.
2 The Crystal Lizards - Dark Souls
Depending on where you live, you may not have had the pleasure of being startled by a lizard. Move a box in your room, and a little reptile might skitter out and dash across the room. They aren't a threat, but the sudden shock of a small, agile creature running around is still disconcerting. This is made even worse when you're trying to catch the thing. They're just so fast!
The Crystal Lizards in Dark Souls are the embodiment of this idea. Appearing unexpectedly, these zippy guys contain valuable upgrade materials. Countless times have we tried to chase them down for that good loot, only for them to scamper and disappear. The panic and frustration of being unable to catch them is a unique sensation only lizards can invoke in us, and the Crystal Lizards do that perfectly.
1 The Lizards In Shadow Of The Colossus
Shadow of the Colossus is a very lonely game. There are no people or animals, just you, your horse, and the colossi themselves. With one exception, of course. Throughout the map are lizards. Hunting them will reward you with additional stamina. Doing so is easier said than done, though. They are well hidden, and even when found, they're very hard to hone in on. They also have no respect for the laws of this place. Cursed lands? They don't care; they do what they want.
With the exception of hostility, due to their small size, these are the perfect combination of all the things that make a lizard a lizard. They're lizard-brained, they're rude, they scamper around fervently, and they can be found all over the place. They're properly lizard-shaped, complete with a visually stunning tail that any reptile would be envious of.