Let me start by stating that this list is 100% accurate and irrefutable. I have spent weeks compiling evidence and data to support these findings. After having them peer-reviewed by cartoonologists, my results have been published in all of the most reputable cartoon academic journals.
That being said, let's get to know our subject: Vegeta. A Saiyan, Vegeta is a human-like alien that used to be able to turn into a giant ape until an incompetent and fat little samurai cut his tail off. It’s not as dumb as it sounds on paper. Vegeta is immensely strong with power levels over 9000… somethings. The unit of measurement is not explained very well, and it’s hard to relate it to something. Let's say, I don't know, Ford Aerostar Minivans. He’s over 9000 FAMs.
But how does that stack up against the rest of the cartoon world? Well, that's what we're here to find out. Let’s take a look at ten cartoon characters who have way more FAMs than the Prince of All Saiyans and can crush him as well as ten cartoon characters who would not be able to handle his power, intellect, and angst. As a note, these entries will be presented in alternating fashion starting with a stronger character. So the first character can destroy Vegeta, the second would get owned by him, the third would tear him apart, and so on and so forth. Grab your scouter and take a couple of episodes to power up because here we go.
20 It Won’t Be Very Funnie
Douglas Yancy Funnie is likely the semi-divine spawn of an immortal God of Chance and Fortune. Nothing bad ever happens to Doug Funnie, I have evidence. Even dire or dangerous situations eventually turn to his favor, and he ends up on top. How can one stand against He Who Is Chosen by Fate?
All of Vegeta’s power would amount to nothing in the face of Doug’s boundless luck. He would try to attack Doug only to slip on a Honker Burger wrapper and bang into a trash can. He would try and blast Doug, only to miss and accidentally blow up Roger’s trailer home. The insurance money would get Roger’s family back on track and Doug would be a hero. Even without his good fortune, Vegeta would be no match for Doug’s sapient familiar, Porkchop. Vegeta just better pray he doesn't draw the ire of Quailman.
19 Brittle Iron
Tony Stark is a billionaire playboy, engineering genius, wielder of an invincible suit made of science, and has the Avengers at his beck and call. But he is no match for Vegeta. As a keen Saiyan warrior, Vegeta would easily find Iron Man’s weakness and exploit it. Stark’s weakness of course being, the sauce.
Using his super speed, Vegeta could sneak all kinds of adult beverages into the Avengers Tower and let Iron Man destroy himself. Tony’s lack of self-control and hubris would not allow him to resist. With Vegeta’s immense power, he could also demolish the building where Stark attends his AA meetings. Without his support network, the Invincible Iron Man would wither away until he hit rock bottom, leaving him wide open.
18 Time Is On His Side
Ash Ketchum is a brutal warlord with an army of cute and powerful slaves. I’ve gone over his war crimes in the past, but suffice it to say that not even Vegeta’s planet-destroying viciousness is a match for Ash’s brutality. Besides his powerful army of thralls, Ash has access to unthinkably powerful technology. Take for example his Poké Balls; matter-compressing prisons that are portable! Poké Centers that heal any wound in seconds, for free! But those aren't even his greatest weapon.
Ash is a deathless lich who has been ten years old for over 20 years. Time itself fears this heartless monster. If he so desired, Ash could merely evade Vegeta and pass his time pitting adorable monsters against one another in blood sport. Vegeta would grow old and die, filled with regret that he dared challenge this immortal conqueror.
17 She’ll Need To Explore More Options
Dora the Explorer is pushing some major FAMs. She has an impressive array of powers such as talking to animals, being bilingual, and hypnotizing people into thinking that Dora rhymes with the word explorer. Dora has also managed to breathe life into inanimate objects making them powerful allies. But, she has one fatal flaw.
Dora is a child, and as such would be no match for Vegeta. Her undeveloped body would not be able to withstand the devastating blows he can dish out. Also, Vegeta is a martial arts master and, as far as I know, Dora has no formal combat training. I know there’s plenty of you out there who might disagree with this entry. Just know that it was close. Very close.
16 Corporate Clout
Mickey Mouse is a nice guy, but don’t get him angry. He doesn't have weapons or heat vision or an army of element controlling monster slaves. But, he has the one thing more powerful than all of those things. Money, and lots of it. As the Disney corporation’s golden boy, Mickey has the backing of a global conglomerate that owns Marvel, Star Wars, and some of the most iconic children's programming in existence. His lawyers have lawyers.
Mickey could buy and sell dozens of Vegetas without breaking a sweat. Barring that, he could buyout Capsule Corp. and fire Bulma. Once she becomes depressed because her family company no longer exists, Vegeta won’t have time to fight, what with dealing with a strained relationship and all. If all else fails, he can call on employees like the Hulk and Darth Vader to do his dirty work for him.
15 Mr. Steal Your Girl
Not only does Finn the Human have an impressive array of magical weapons capable of unleashing mathematical nonsense, but his host of powerful allies are legion. Royal food items, stretching dogs, Korean unicorns of light, and penguins come to his aid whenever his considerable strength proves not enough. But one enemy has proven to be his downfall time and time again. Hormones.
As a teenager, Finn is at the mercy of puberty and it often proves to be his undoing; becoming sullen after being rejected by the women in his life. Vegeta has a history of wooing scientifically minded women who invent fantastical machines. It is not outside the Saiyan’s abilities to seduce Princess Bubblegum and turn her against him. It does not stop there, however, as Vegeta’s strength and devil may care attitude would endear him to Flame Princess and Marceline respectively. As the women in his life abandon him, Finn will spiral into depression yet again and be easy prey for the mighty Saiyan.
14 Budget Problems
Together, the Space Ghost Coast to Coast late night talk show team is a force to be reckoned with. Moltar, Brak, Zorak, and the titular Space Ghost have access to technology, weapons, and guest stars that would give any Saiyan pause. But what they have is not so dangerous as what they do not have.
With a pathetically small budget and little initial support from their network, the Space Ghost Coast to Coast team are extremely limited in their animation; they are only able to make basic gestures and have severely restricted mobility. Vegeta would not be able to adapt to such an environment, and the lack of complex animation would stop him from using even his most basic of techniques. Also, the 15 minute average run time of the episodes would not give Vegeta the hours he requires to charge up for his attacks. As characters born into low budget animation, the Space Ghost team would make short work of any Saiyan foolish enough to challenge them in their own lair.
Winner: Space Ghost
13 Too Many Kids Watching
These environmental restrictions work both ways, however. He-Man is considered by many to be one of the mightiest cartoon characters in existence. Not even pants can contain his boundless strength and transformation into He-Man from Prince Adam produces almost lethal amounts of hype. Throw in support of a kingdom, a sorceress, and his female clone She-Ra, and you’ve got a nearly invincible force. But Eternia is a very different place than Earth or Namek.
As evidenced by all of the combat in his episodes, violence is not allowed on He-Man’s show. With a rating of TV-Y7, he can’t even use his magical sword for its intended purpose; cutting some fools up. Unlike Vegeta, not once does He-Man kill or even maim his enemies with the weapons and power available to him because he knows he would be censored or banned in a heartbeat; he simply has no experience hurting people for real. Vegeta has no such restrictions. With a TV-PG rating, Vegeta is allowed to draw blood, kill his enemies, and even talk about girls and kissing and stuff (ew).
12 Hacks! Cheater!
Bob from Reboot doesn’t seem like a very powerful combatant at first. All he can do is putz around and adapt to whatever powers the game gives him. However, Bob’s complete and utter lack of scruples wins him the day time and time again. The dude cheats. He takes shortcuts to beat the user and has lost only one game. Does that sound fair to you? I call h4x0r. What kind of computer doesn’t let you win a single one of your games? How has the person who owns mainframe not wiped that computer’s memory? Bob is clearly an underhanded virus who cheats at video games and only poses as a guardian.
Vegeta, on the other hand, plays by the rules. The dastardly Bob would easily bamboozle an honorable warrior such as he. The computer guardian would just bring in some non-sanctioned weapon or friends and utilize unfair advantages he has in any game they would play, and Vegeta would get deleted. Bob’s key tool is even named Glitch! How can you beat a hacker that controls the game and never lets anyone win?
11 Yeah, Just Blow It Up
Superman is, by many accounts, invincible. Even his deaths are temporary. His thirst for justice and Kryptonian superpowers make him a match for nearly anyone ever to grace a TV screen. But his power source is, unfortunately for him, easily exploitable. You see, Superman gets his powers from Earth’s yellow sun.
Vegeta has already shown that he can waste an entire planet, and that was before he learned to go Super Saiyan. His tactic is simple. Blow up the Sun. Without it, Superman turns into just, Man. We know he wouldn’t have a problem with it. Piccolo blew up the freakin moon just so Gohan would stop being a giant monkey. That’s your solution? Not just cutting off his tail? You know for a fact that works! People need the Moon Piccolo, for the tides and stuff like that. Vegeta gives even less a crap about things than even Piccolo, so you know he’s down to just whack the Sun at the drop of a hat.
Vegeta can crush everything from planets to weird aliens to straight up children. He’s even destroyed monstrously oversized alien bugs without breaking a sweat. The Saiyan Prince can take on enemies many times his size, but therein lies the problem. He can defeat threats outside of his body, but not ones within. An enemy like Osmosis Jones would be unstoppable should he find his way into Vegeta’s system.
With Jones’s access, he could wreak havoc on Vegeta’s internal organs, throwing him into disarray. Saiyans are nearly identical to humans except for all of that (literal) monkey crap. After all, humans can breed with Saiyans. Not even Vegeta can fight something in his own body, and with constant diarrhea and brain aneurysms attacking his system he would fall easily.
Winner: Osmosis Jones
9 The Inside Man
Vegeta is a powerful single combatant, but even he can get outnumbered. You would think a large team of characters like Piccolo, Yamcha and even ones from other series like Zoro from One Piece, Alex Louis Armstrong from Full Metal Alchemist, and Woermann from Attack on Titan all working together could take down the Saiyan Prince. But you would be wrong. Vegeta could defeat them all with ease even if they attacked at the same time.
You see Vegeta, as well as all of those other characters, are voiced by Christopher Sabat. As they all have the same voice actor, Vegeta could easily be shown preference as he is the most popular character Sabat has done. When they all attack the Saiyan, they would immediately find themselves surrendering and apologizing for attacking him. “Sorry for trying to hurt you Mr. Vegeta, we were all just jealous of your power and irresistibly attractive voice. It will never happen again, we promise!”
8 He Can Take It
Everyone that Vegeta has fought has been tough. Powerful aliens, mighty warriors, and conspicuously attractive androids have felt his wrath. Even if he does not win initially, all of his foes have limits to their durability. Once pushed to these limits, they are defeated. But what if the Saiyan prince came up against an opponent that has no limits to the punishment they can take? Enter the Coyote.
Wile E. Coyote is a character who can withstand even the most devastating blows over and over again and still come back, hungry for more. Or in most cases, just hungry. Is he an immortal trickster god or cursed villain, doomed to relive pain and failure again and again in Sisyphean futility? It matters little, as falls from great heights, anvils, and TNT explosions barely slow him down. Vegeta could unleash everything he has at Wile E. Coyote, but if he has any food on him, the beast will just come back time and again until the Saiyan warrior collapses from exhaustion.
Winner: Wile E. Coyote
7 Too Much Drama, For Your Mama
The Avatar from The Legend of Korra series is a nearly god-like being. Mastery of the elements and martial arts make them a fearsome foe. Avatar Korra also has the advantage of an entire cast of supporters including benders of all kinds, inventors, and politicians. But their unity is a liability, not a strength.
The Legend of Korra series is fraught with teen angst, hormone-addled decisions, and relationship drama. They can’t decide who likes who or even what gender they are attracted to yet. Even the grown-up characters are always complaining about their family members and past failed relationships. All Vegeta has to do is sit around and wait until the cast ends up on the Maury Povich show and implodes, shouting accusations and fighting amongst themselves. This will leave the Saiyan to clean up the pieces that are left easily.
6 Fairly Certain He Would Win
Timmy Turner has an obscene amount of power. His fairy godparents grant him unlimited wishes. Unlimited! Even with some restrictions laid out by Da Rules, he still wields reality bending abilities with a mere sentence. His wishes never turn out quite as he hopes, but he can just use more wishes to fix these mistakes. He even has the support of other fairies besides the TWO he already has like Poof and Jorgen Von Strangle.
Vegeta just can’t keep up. Timmy would just wish for Vegeta not to be able to wear pants or turn him into a sponge or something. Sure his wishes would backfire, but that only inconveniences Timmy. Vegeta would still have his powers wished away or be drowned in fruit smoothies or something. I’m not saying it’s fair that a little punk gets unlimited wishes to alter the fabric of space and time just because his wealthy white parents aren’t attentive enough, I’m just saying Vegeta would get owned.
5 Yo No!
The counterterrorism organization known as G.I. Joe has seemingly limitless funding and access to cutting-edge defense technology. Similarly, Cobra is an international terrorist organization full of colorful characters that often develops world threatening technology to hold the Earth hostage. Unfortunately, all of their FAMs of power amount to nothing.
Tell me, have you ever seen anyone in G.I. Joe kill anyone? Let's bring it back, how many times have you seen anyone, Cobra or Joe actually hit anyone with any of their weapons? They are all just so very incompetent. Why do we pay our hard earn tax money to a bunch of soldiers who can't hit the broad side of a barn? Why are we scared of Cobra and the collection of failures they employ? Vegeta would run roughshod over both armies as they struggled to connect with just one of their devasting yet useless weapons. He isn't a robot or a toy that isn't selling well, so he won't ever get hit.
4 He Is Everywhere, He Is All Of Us
Sonic the Hedgehog is fast. Very fast. He has gone faster than anyone ever has, transcending the very ideas of movement and translocation. He can't help it; he’s gotta go fast. He has achieved a level of speed at which time breaks and no longer has any meaning. Relative to Sonic, the universe does not change, it merely is. He has gone fast enough to be everywhere at the same time; to explore every possible outcome and reality.
The universe has infinite possibilities, and Sonic is fast enough to exist alongside each and every one of them simultaneously. He exists everywhere and everywhen. Sonic is you, and Sonic is me. Most importantly for this entry, Sonic is Vegeta. Sonic has lived and continues to live every possible conflict he can have with the Saiyan warrior. There is no victory or defeat, only endless existence unconstrained by mortal understanding.
3 He’s A Big Guy
Now I know I’m going to get a lot of flak about this one, but if dealing with naysayers and hate mail is necessary to present the truth, then so be it. Big Bob Pataki from Hey Arnold could not beat Vegeta in a fight. I know he’s big, and I know he is the Beeper King; how can you stand against someone who made an empire out of a ridiculously inefficient technology? The man drives a Hummer for criminy’s sake, how can Vegeta fight a man like that? By destroying him from within, that’s how.
Big Bob’s Beeper Kingdom rests on a foundation of sand. His wife despises him and has turned to drink to ease her hate for him, and he neglects his youngest daughter Helga so much that she falls in love with the first male that shows her any positive attention; some football headed kid. His eldest daughter Olga is his pride and joy, but the other females in Bob’s beeper dynasty are so jealous of his favoritism that Vegeta could easily use his own vertical football head to turn them on her. Without his family and the love of his favorite daughter, the King of Beepers will fall to the Prince of Saiyans.
2 Whip It
Behind every super Saiyan, a super lady is putting up with all of their yelly powering up and fighting nonsense. DBZ ladies are tough across the board, and Vegeta’s wife Bulma is no exception. A fierce woman with advanced technology, she is an indispensable part of the Z fighter squad. But that’s not why she would beat down Vegeta.
Vegeta is kind of a jerk. Sure he’s a bad boy, but the whole”I’m always angry and yelling also I blew up a planet of innocents once,” thing likely doesn’t go well with the ladies. So even if Bulma doesn’t nag him into submission by sending him out on errands for dragon balls, she can “turn off the tap” so to speak. “Set up a blockade on the port,” or “close the lid on the box,” you get the idea. Not even an alien prince can last long with the blue dragon balls.
1 The Numbers Don’t Lie
Goku has beaten Vegeta on more than one occasion. As the protagonist of the Dragon Ball franchise, his power is maximum. As one of the first Saiyans to go super, he has shown time and again his resilience and strength. So how would Vegeta and Goku fare in yet another battle? I had to look at the numbers to find out.
I looked at all of the depictions of Goku and Vegeta in any media form and charted the outcomes. It turns out, as Vegeta is the bad boy anti-hero, he is much more popular amongst NEET otakus with no spine or physical prowess. This demographic also happens to be the main producer of fanfictions and fanart. After sifting through countless LiveJournal slash fics and DeviantArt images drawn in crayon, Vegeta has a much higher percentage of victory than Goku. Don’t shoot the messenger, I’m just showing you the stats. It should be noted, however, that Vegeta often had help in the form of self-insert characters like “Super Saiyan Jeff,” so it’s possible the numbers may be slightly skewed.