The first trailer for the upcoming Cats movie has been released, and the internet's reaction is predictably negative.
We all remember the commotion that was caused by the Sonic The Hedgehog movie trailer that came out just a few months ago. That trailer was almost universally reviled by both longtime Sonic fans, and pretty much anyone who owned a pair of eyes. From his weirdly toned legs to his human teeth, his design was so hated that the entire movie needed to delayed so they could overhaul his look. But no matter what, that trailer was a disaster, and it seemed like there couldn't possibly be another trailer released this year that could inspire more disgust or distaste.
And then Cats said "hold my beer" and unleashed this....thing.
If you haven't seen the trailer posted above, we're conflicted about saying you should. On one hand, something this insane should be experienced just for prosperity's sake. On the other hand, after watching this, we're now scarred for life, and fear for the safety of our children.
You're likely familiar with Cats in some way. You may have heard "Memory" on Spotify, or heard the name Rum Tug Tugger at some point in your life. You may have even seen the original Andrew Lloyd Webber play, where actors dress as cat/human hybrids, and sing songs, and you start to wonder if whoever invented art made a horrible mistake. Well even with any prior knowledge of Cats, there's little that can prepare you for the strange CGI fever dreams that Tom Hooper has created.
The film stars Idris Elba, Jennifer Hudson, Ian McKellan, Rebel Wilson, and freakin' Dame Judy Dench of all people, who are all marvelous, talented actors. Also James Corden is there. Rounding out the cast are singers like Taylor Swift, and Jason Derulo, along with newcomer Francesca Hayward, who left her position as a ballerina with the Royal Ballet of London for this. To reiterate, she stopped being a professional ballerina to wear this:
The paycheck must have been huge.
To be honest, the effects and costumes do seem to be pretty well done, although combined with the weird CGI faces of actors like Dench and McKellan, it all looks utterly bizarre. There's also something significantly unnerving about cat-sized humanoid cats doing cat things, plus the movie seems to be sexualizing most of the cat people, like this is all some kind of big budget fetish video. Which, considering the furries who are likely to call this movie their Gone With The Wind, it kind of is.
The trailer shows off the impressive cat technology and gives a little taste what to expect from the Cats movie. There's ballet dancing on giant kitchen tables, Idris Elba somehow managing to look cool despite playing a cat in a cowboy hat, Taylor Swift seductively pours catnip on other cats, Jennifer Hudson belts out "Memory", James Corden dances around as a morbidly obese cat who's practically the size of Monty Python's Mr. Creosote, etc
It's impressive, weird, scary, and expensive looking. It's like a thousand Sonics all wearing fur coats, and one of the Sonics has Gandalf's face. It's either going to win every Oscar, or be a total trainwreck, there's nothing in between. Cats comes out on December 20th of this year, so if you wanted to have cat people nightmares just before Christmas, head to your local cinema, and pay to see the movie that's going to set Deviantart on fire.