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20 “Chick” Games That Men Should Never Play

There was a time when video gaming was seen as a world that only men could be a part of. This was in the burgeoning days of the industry when players and developers alike would spend their time in dark, musty basements with their creations. This was the image that video gamers sought hard to dispel and over the years more and more women have come into the industry in one way or another.

This is a very good thing.

What this has led to is more and more games being created for this specific audience. Sure, there are plenty of lady gamers out there who will take on - and destroy - the best men out there at Call of Duty or Street Fighter.

As a man though, this has led to some self-realization. There are many games out there that a guy just has to leave alone. These branches of entertainment are the ones that get hidden when someone visits as their very existence in the household is as secretive as the "mature" DVDs that are carefully located in the drawer no one ever checks.

Video games are amazing, but here are 20 video games that are for chicks and that no man should ever be seen playing:

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20 Control Someone Else's Life

via supergameplay.com.br

The irony here is that The Sims in many ways was born because of the success of the Sim City franchise. That game - which was all about city planning - was about as manly a management simulator as you could find at the time. Placing houses and building the city economy is a good, "manly" thing to do. Feeding and clothing an avatar is most certainly not what society considers "manly" (for better or worse). The complete customization of a character and their personality is obviously the draw here and role-playing game fans can easily found themselves drawn into this world. It is hard to argue that anything described as a life simulator would typically be classed as anything other than girly.

19 Disney Meets Fantasy

via images.khinsider.com

Kingdom Hearts is a strange franchise. Putting Disney and Final Fantasy characters together in the same series doesn't sound like it would work at all. The universes seem completely incompatible, but somehow and in some way, it all comes together in a fun and involving mash-up of characters.

The problem here for the guys is that the Disney characters take what would be a fun RPG and make it a little less "raw." All you have to do is look at the amount of Kingdom Hearts fanfiction online to know that people are way too involved in the lives and backstories of these characters. Add in some over the top cute visuals and you have a series that men shouldn't be seen playing with so many other, more manly RPGs out there.

18 The Cutest Zelda Game Out There

via YouTube.com

It is striking just how many of the games on this list are from Nintendo and especially the number that are on the Nintendo DS. Something about the mobile nature of the platform makes it an easy target for companies to develop games that fit the category of chick games, with The Legend of Zelda: Phantom Hourglass being the perfect example.

Nintendo has always been good at incorporating novel control schemes into their games without making them feel too gimmicky (sometimes) and this Zelda game is one that gets it right. The visuals are a little too cartoony though and while this game was highly praised on its release it is still seen as the title in the series that is more driven towards casual players than the dark and edgy worlds of Majora's Mask and Twlight Princess.

17 Getting Her Groove On

via: Monstervine

When a series title is derived from a Lady Gaga song the odds are that it is not going to be a first-person shooter. Just Dance is a rhythm action game for the Nintendo Wii that does exactly what you would expect given the title and its inspiration.

It is not like Just Dance isn't popular. There have been yearly releases in the series ever since 2009, and by now the track library is just insane. Again though, this is a dancing game and the track listing is skewed directly to the type of music that is popular with teenage girls. If the idea of dancing to the likes of the Spice GIrls, Ke$ha, and Jessie J. is your thing, then maybe you just aren't fun at parties.

16 Making A Classic Franchise Chick Friendly With LEGO

via youtube.com

Should Star Wars ever be able to be described as cute?

If your answer is no, then congratulations, you have passed the pretentious nerd credibility test. If your answer to this question is yes, then feel free to get out there and purchase a copy of LEGO Star Wars in exchange for what is left of your pride.

There have been a ton of LEGO games and, in all fairness, they have mostly been very good at what they do. The franchise has been wildly successful and they have parodied a ton of successful movies and made the games work. They are, however, clearly games intended for kids. Get out and play Battlefront or Knights of the Old Republic and get some of your credibility back.

15 A Sports Game For Everyone

via youtube.com

Sports games are not typically considered "girl's" game, even though woman across the globe love sports. But when someone loads up Wii Sports, there's no questioning that its a game for everyone. No one stays in their seat when this game comes on — except, of course, for "Mr. Manly Scrooge" over there.

However, the boxing mini-game, in particular, takes a traditionally male sport and turns it into —ostensibly— a cat fight. No guy wants to make a big showy punch and have it play out on-screen as a whimper. Nintendo did go on to make Arms for the Nintendo Switch, so maybe they knew it was time for a more physical boxing game.

14 You Look Silly Fighting These Pigs

Via: livehdwallpaper.com

Look at those birds. Just look at them. Sure, the green one is a little (lot) creepy looking and the black one has some seriously cruel intentions. Even so, Angry Birds is clearly a game no man should be playing.

The very essence of a mobile game is that it caters to the general public more than something designed for a console. The attraction is the ability to pick up and play, with short levels that are easy at first, but that grow in complexity as you progress through the game. In order to make the game as marketable as possible, the battle lines are drawn between a couple of animal groups in the birds and the pigs. Simple controls and a non-existent plot make this a chick based mobile game.

13 The Girliest Character In The Marioverse

via: nintendo.de

This Nintendo DS game was a little annoying when it came out back in the mid-2000s. It had been a long time since a new side-scrolling 2D platformer had been released and the world was ready for a great one. That the game was going to be set in the Mario universe made it sound promising, but then the lead character and target audience bombshells hit and everyone moved on with their lives. Of course, if you decided to skip out on Super Princess Peach you totally missed out on a delightful —albeit easy— experience. But I guess if keeping your man card is more important than playing a fun game ... then, by all means, skip it.

12 Even Running For Your Life...

Via bluestacks.com

Temple Run is another game that falls squarely into the chick category because of the casual nature of the mobile platform.

Its premise is actually not that girl at all as it has you running through a temple to seek an ancient and valuable golden idol from the Aztec civilization. If you were doing this by avoiding traps and cutting down enemies in a normal fashion then this game would get a pass. Instead, though, you are simply running, jumping, and moving your character from side to side on the screen by tilting your phone. There is no depth to the gameplay here and Temple Run gets so boring, so fast. There is even a movie tie-in version with the Disney film Brave that no guy should ever be caught dead playing. Unless they like awesome movie tie-ins. Of course.

11 Because Chicks Can't Handle The Cuteness

Via: ign.com

If you are a man you get a dog. A manly dog at that. If you are unable (for whatever reason) to get an actual dog then the temptation might be there to give Nintendogs a go. This would be one of the worst pet based decisions of your life.

Obviously, Nintendogs is cute, and the game has the added bonus of attracting girls initially. Before long though they will be wondering why you had this game at all as it is essentially an extended tech demo that gets old and boring quicker than your first trip to the vet with an actual pet. Save yourself the time, the money, and the ridicule, and go out and buy a nice goldfish or hamster instead.

10 The Culinary To End Them All

via ign.com

Ah, minigames. Where would we be without them? Cooking Mama bills itself as a "cookery simulation-style minigame compilation." Quite the shoes to fill!

This Nintendo DS game (that was later brought over to the Wii) is a touch screen-fest. The players follow the directions of "Mama" - a clearly misogynistic and stereotypical character by the way - in order to perform a bunch of tasks that would be super mundane in real life. This is the problem with Cooking Mama. If you want to chop veggies and flip food in pans, then just go to the kitchen and do so. You don't need to do it on a tiny screen where there is nothing to eat at the end of the process!

9 So You Want To Be Princess

Via GameSpot

This is one of those video games that a guy hides at the bottom of his cart when he goes to buy it. Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey is decidedly not meant for boys. In fairness to this game - a game that actually doesn't have terrible review scores - it knows exactly what it is and exactly what its audience wants — which is great! Frankly, maybe it doesn't want boys to play it. Maybe, just maybe, Disney Princess: Enchanted Journey thinks boys are icky and gross. You would be right to assume Disney wants everyone's money and wouldn't disgriminate, but hey: No Boys Allowed is a bit of reverse psychology we can get behind.

8 Living The Dream (With Animals)

via polygon.com

There was a way that Zoo Tycoon could have been created without being as emasculating as it is. This was a game that was easy to get addicted to - as all management sims are - but the super cutest visuals managed to make it feel just too cute for "MANLY-MEN" to admit to playing, which is saying something when you remember how big of a hit Theme Park was. Of course, not being able to cope with looking after animals, because of your bravo, really just means you don't know how to have fun — look at that darn fox! Look at it!!

7 How To Make Mario With Zero Skill

via: arstechnica.com

Odds are that you have played Super Mario Run. The game had over 50 million downloads in its first week of release - making it the fastest-growing app in iOS history - as people initially looked past its limited gameplay and focused on the fact Mario was finally available on non-Nintendo hardware.

Then the problems came and people realized that the game was just kind of meh. It was Mario without the Mario feel and without the Mario feel, Mario is nothing more than Temple Run as a side-scroller. It is easy to see why people turned on this game so quickly. You know: games that actually require thought and action, instead of well-timed jumps.

6 The Girliest Sing It! Game In The Franchise

via GameSpot

If I have to explain exactly why you don't want to play this game, then we are most likely already at a lost cause situation. Combining two of the girliest (and preteen at that) concepts of all time, we have the mash-up of High Musical Musical and karaoke video games to create High School Musical: Sing It!

This isn't a Guitar Hero or Rock Band situation where an idea that is for everyone in concept, and can be overcome by heavy rock and metal classics. Instead, it is exactly what you would expect when you see the title of the game. There is no reason for ANYONE to own this game - let a lone play it. If you have it, is time to admit to the shame and move on.

5 Chilling With Some Animals

Via: GameSpot

Stopping this entry with the phrase "animal villagers" should probably be enough to explain why this game is on the list. If not, then read on.

Animal Crossing is classified as a community simulation video game, in which the human character lives in a village with a whole mess of anthropomorphic animals. Reading that description it is easy to see how the game could actually be terrifying, but when you note that most of the activities these animals get up to include fishing and bug catching, then the reasons for blokes to steer clear are far more obvious. Still, the Animal Crossing series has sold more than 30 million units worldwide, so someone is obviously playing it and making Nintendo even more commercially successful.

4 The Romance!

via: images.fanpop.com

The Final Fantasy series has a long and storied history both in Japan and, more recently, in the West. Final Fantasy VII was a smash hit that still holds up today (where is that remake?) and it was the game that finally brought the series to Europe. It is widely thought of as a landmark title in the history of gaming and as one of the greatest video games of all time.

Final Fantasy VIII had to somehow follow that and, while it gets marks for trying something a little different, the result was a game that feels ... a little melodramatic. There are so many cutscenes - and extended cutscenes at that - interrupting the flow of the game and making it feel more like you are watching Titanic than having any impact on the action for large chunks of time.

3 Battling And Collecting In A Cutesy Way

via: bitnote.com

At the risk of stomping all over a hornet's nest with this revelation, Pokémon is kinda girly. I get that part of this is down to the anime visual style of the game and not necessarily the content itself, but it just needed to be put out there.

In fairness to fans, Pokémon is girly in a different way to some of the other games on this list. There are many Pokémon out there that are undoubtedly cool and the whole hunting and collecting of the title creatures does work really well. Then you have the likes of Jigglypuff and Clefairy in the game, Pokémon that seem to exist only to make the whole package appeal to "traditionally feminine types." Ironically the girls that like to play Pokémon tend to shy away from these overly cute characters. If only the guys would do the same.

2 Farming With Super Girly Visuals

via andhinapuspa21.blogspot.com

This one is an odd one really. A game about farming, one of the manliest and rugged pursuits there is, shouldn't be able to fall into the category of chick games. Harvest Moon though does exactly this thanks to its location, its visuals, and its plot.

If this were a game like Farming Simulator where driving combines and managing the day to day activities of the farm were treated realistically, then this would not be on the list. Instead, you have to devote parts of your (cutesy anime) day to brushing cows and other less obvious farming tasks. Also, you can court residents of the town and marry them by finding the right in game item and offering them as gifts to a potential suitor. If only dating in real life were so easy...

1 Living Pinatas Are Made For Joy

via raregamer.co.uk

Every guy out there has a chick game that they enjoy way more than they should. It is like the guilty pleasure movie or song in video game form. It is the game that they will load up when no one is watching, then hide in a Call of Duty disc case when friends are over to visit. For this author, that game is Viva Pinata.

The whole concept of this one is as girly as they come. You build a garden to attract animals - animals that take on the form of pinatas by the way - then romance them to create baby pinatas and grow your garden. Over time you build up from nothing more than a couple of Whirlms (earthworms) to a garden full of Elephanillas (elephants) and Tigermisu (tigers). And yes, I hate myself for writing all that out.

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