I have to start this with a disclaimer. I don't keep up-to-date with every single meta-change in competitive Pokémon. That being said, if you think this list doesn't properly encapsulate every Pokémon that has the absolute worst stats, understand that I know this. It wouldn't be fair for me to put baby Pokémon like Elekid or Magby on this list because they are supposed to be weak. They are babies. Have you ever fought a baby? It's incredibly easy.
So, with that in mind, I tried my best to weigh badness of their stats but also sprinkled in some assessment based on the concept of the Pokémon. Of course, there will always be some personal opinions and bias in articles like these, but I don't think you'll disagree on too many of these, because a lot of them are universally questionable.
Another disclaimer is that I kind of bag on the later generations, because let's face it, Nintendo is running out of ideas. However, I digress. This list has every Pokémon you have ever seen and gone "what the heck?!?!" What were they thinking?!?! Well, while I can't answer that question, I do hope this article can serve some cathartic purpose as I roast all these janky Pokémon back into their PC box, where they belong for eternity.
20 3-D Printed Duck
This geometric block duck from the Game Corner is certainly an interesting Pokémon, but I have come to the conclusion that it makes absolutely no sense! I know it is supposed to be programming code and its body is non-organic, but how does it exist? How does it have a physical form if its a program? I recognize there are a lot of Pokémon that have suspect existences and you will definitely see a few on this list, but Porygon ranks up there based on how implausible its existence is. Porygon's stats, especially its speed, are very low. In all fairness, you cannot really expect Porygon to be great. Its acquired through the Game Corner, so its acquisition and existence are pretty gimmicky. Its a Pokédex filler for sure. Plus, its episode induced seizures in kids, in Japan. C'mon Porygon, that's messed up!
19 A Titanic Mistake
So at least with Avalugg, I do kind of understand where they were going for. He is an ice-type Pokémon that I think was designed to be an iceberg mixed with a giant tortoise? He resembles Torterra a bit, so that is why I say this, but that resemblance does not hold up when his back completely flattens out on the top. It makes him look like an aircraft carrier with legs, covered in ice. I will admit, he is certainly not the worst on this list, but is by no means one of the better Pokémon out there. Props to the development team though, for pulling off a walking iceberg about as good as I imagine it could be done. It could have been a lot worse. Keep reading folks. there's plenty more list left, this is just the tip of the iceberg. GET IT?!
This mushroom spider thing with "just eyes" and no pupils is just about as bad as they come. Am I simply salty because I can never stop coming across this guy in Pokémon Go? Perhaps, but that isn't the only reason. This guy is not only part of the worst type of Pokémon in the game (Bug), but is also one of the worst in that category. Parasect has an average overall stat value of 67.5, which is pretty low for a second tier evolution. Also, Parasect has the misfortune of being both bug type and grass-type, which is doubly affected by fire and flying, two of the most common and likely present types of Pokémon in any given player's party. So, since most Pokémon that appear at the beginning of the game are those types, Parasect is weak sauce. Go scuttle under a rock lil' guy, you do not belong in a battle.
17 I Love Him, But He's Not Great
I love my boy Onix. The rock snake is a classic that holds a place in the hearts of many fans. Brock's Onix's fight with Pikachu, as the sprinklers were going off in Pewter City's gym, was one of the most iconic moments of the original Pokémon television series. However, Onix boasts very meager stats, with his 64 average overall stat and his HP stat that is only 5 more than Krabby. Yeah, that's right, the giant rock snake has 5 more HP than the one-foot tall crab. That kind of gives you all you need to know about Onix. Stats that do not match up to his stature and reputation, along with being doubly affected by grass and water-type Pokémon, make Onix a bad pick. As far as fan favor and nostalgia goes, he will always be in my heart.
16 Not Even A Real Spider!
This fake spider is not fooling anyone. I learned in elementary school that spiders (or as a genius such as myself would call them, arachnids) have eight legs. Ariados only has four legs, and as I learned in high school, 8 ≠ 4. I mentioned before, my predisposition towards bug type Pokémon biases me slightly, but Ariados' stats are rather poor for a second level evolution. You are not going to win any battle with a 67 average stat party member. This bug would get squashed in most battles. In the interest of not arousing the ire of any literate giant spiders (that may come about from a potential dystopian future where giant spider exist and may even possibly have access to optometric care), I shall cease my criticism of their animated brethren promptly.
15 Their Purpose Unown
As I have grown older, I have come closer and closer to realizing that Unown is pretty worthless. Unown comes off as a legendary Pokémon in the sense that it's unique in its look and ancient origin. However, Unown is not a legendary Pokémon, which begs the question, what is its use? The psychic type Pokémon comes in 28 different variations, based on the alphabet, but why is this particular Pokémon special? It's not a legendary, but it's as rare as one. Unown's stats are quite comparable to a Rattata's and yet Rattata does not have 20+ forms. So, why include a weak Pokémon with all these forms and ancient powers when they just suck? I can't answer this question which is why it's on this list. Plain and simple.
14 A Slow Burn
My beef with Magcargo is not necessarily his concept. I have a lot of problems with Pokémon that are not based on animals which already exist, but Magcargo does not violate that rule. He is a snail born out of a volcano or something, right? Well, sadly, this concept is not enough to save him from the hammer of judgment. Magcargo is a fire and rock-type hybrid. This means he is easily extinguished by any and all water-type Pokémon, arguably the most common type within the game. I would guess it is upward on 98% that any given foe you would battle in a competitive Pokémon tournament will have a water Pokémon that could just one hit this slug with ease. His unimpressive overall stats don't help him either.
13 Just A Cat With A Hat
Some might make the argument for Delcatty as being useful and I can certainly support players standing up for what they believe in (and the Pokémon they are attached to), but Delcatty's overall stats are very low for a second tier evolution. In a game full of Pokémon that can be your powerhouse, tank, or secret weapon, why choose Delcatty? Sure, she has only one super effective move type against her, but that is the case with all normal types. Why not just outlast your opponent with a Snorlax or browbeat them with Kangaskhan? Maybe she works for a team of all cute Pokémon, but I'm assuming the readers are not trying to do their best Leader Whitney from Goldenrod City impression, so I have come to the conclusion of shunning Delcatty. That Miltank is super annoying though.
12 Fourth Wall-Breaking Mushroom
So, Amoonguss is a mushroom that can use the Poké Ball pattern on its head and branches to lure in prey and eat them, because mushrooms are carnivores now, apparently. My problem with this guy is that he is evolutionarily improbable. Yeah I know, pretty much everything in Pokémon isn't plausible, but this one is especially questionable. How does an organism adapt to look like a Poké Ball? Or any man-made creation for that matter? Also, why would Pokémon be lured by the sight of a Poké Ball? Are Pokémon trying to get captured? I was always under the impression that Pokémon didn't want to be captured? Plus it has those freaky puckered lips, so I'm gonna go ahead and advise you all to pass on this one.
11 Nintendo Kicked It Into Low Gear
This Pokémon, along with the next few, are perfect examples for everyone's assumption that Nintendo has completely given up on creative Pokémon. This guy is Klinklang. For those of you unfamiliar with Klinklang, it's just some floating gears (one big gear and one small gear). The small gear on the right seems astonished, perhaps because he has one eye, but also possibly because he is so shocked that he made it into the game. I was shocked when I saw this Pokémon, and personally, I would say that this is one of the unforgivable ones. It's literally just cogs that are floating around. I didn't care to read the Pokédex entry or try to hear its pathetic excuse for existing. All I want to do is reiterate. Nintendo, c'mon bro, what are you doing?
10 Heads Or Tails, It's Still Garbage
While seemingly no more uninspired than Magnemite, I would argue that this lil' guy should not even be used in the same sentence as Magnemite (unless the sentence is, "Magnemite is better than Bronzor"). This guy is a floating coin, okay?! I think its origin is something like, "a kid threw a coin in a wishing well, but that wishing well was haunted because some other kid fell down it, and now the kid who fell in the well's spirit embodies the coin." That's not actually the origin, but I think that was a pretty impressive ad-lib on my part. I made it all up. Pointless tangent aside, Bronzor is not much else than a coin. So, that being established, I am going to flip this fool into the "not worth your time" category.
9 Not The Sharpest Of Ideas
Honedge is a sword. I realize not all Pokémon are based on animals, but I always thought it was a safe assumption that something that already exists, like an inanimate object, was not also a Pokémon. Does this mean swords do not exist in the Pokémon world? Are all swords Honedge? I would love to talk with the developers and just let them know that if they are thinking about releasing another Pokémon game with three Pokémon that are literally swords (or other random objects such as a doorknob, or perhaps a lamp), that they should maybe just release the game with three less Pokémon. There is no shame in that. However, there is shame in the abomination that sits above this block of text. When will it end?
8 Hands Down, One Of The Worst
Okay, so Barbaracle is (I guess) supposed to be some dollar store, knock off Machamp with eyes on its hands like the dude from Pan's Labyrinth. This guy is a combination of seven barnacles called Binacle, and I just don't understand what they were going for here. This must be the Pokémon equivalent to two kids in a trench coat parading as adults. Why would these barnacles create a bipedal form when they live in water? Why is his head a hand? I can't imagine the four limbs he has to operate as hands were insufficient enough to where he would have to adapt by growing fingers out of his skull. This Pokémon is far too disturbing for me to give it a chance, so now we say bye to Barbaracle. You will not be missed. Your trainer never loved you.
7 A Self-Destructive Design Choice
I know there are Voltorb/Electrode defenders out there (however many few in number they may be) but today I refute you. Electrode is such an uninspired mess, that I have to compare it to the likes of Garbodor and Trubbish. At least Garbodor and Trubbish have a design more complex than a sphere with some ovals for eyes, teeth, and some eyebrows (drawn on?). Honestly, this quite easily could have been a Pokémon made by a 4-year-old. That is the level of sophistication I could equate this to. I, for one, don't want someone less creative than myself designing Pokémon. I do believe the person who created this may have been retiring in a week or perhaps made Electrode on a dare. Regardless of the reason, this Pokémon is not worth your time.
6 Sentient Sludge
Muk could perhaps go down in Pokémon history as the first uninspired Pokémon to ever grace the series. A sentient mass of sludge, Muk (and his no less culpable pre-evolution form, Grimer), were the first two Pokémon in the Pokédex that made us think to ourselves, "Is this real life?" Now, granted, I did not think much of Muk when I was a kid. I liked him decently and I still like him to this day (even though he was the absolute most impossible dude to get in Pokémon Go). However, now that I am older and can judge with a more neutral stance, I've come to see that Muk is no different than the crap of later generations like Honedge, Garbodor or Amoonguss. He is the same, and it is with a heavy heart that I must put him on this list. Sorry, bud.
5 3-Piece Chicken Nugget
My beef is less with Dugtrio and more so with Alolan Dugtrio. This Pokémon is a rarity in that it made this list not just because it is dreadful, but because I have also never laughed harder at a Pokémon in my entire life. When Pokémon Sun and Moon started leaking some of their new Alolan forms, I dug a few of them. Alolan Marowak looked great, I liked the idea of an ice type Ninetales, but this one just incapacitated me with laughter for a solid ten minutes. THEY LITERALLY JUST GAVE DUGTRIO SOME FRICKIN' HAIR. They look like the band Hanson! "I choose you, Dugtrio! Use MmmBop ba duba bop, ba du bop, ba duba bop" (*Orlando Brown voice*). This is not disparaging Hanson, of course. You can tell developers thought of, coded, and implemented this design the day before games were shipped out to stores.
4 Muk's French Brother
Swalot, or as I like to call him, Muk's French brother (because of dem whiskers), is an amorphous blob Pokémon. His special talent is that he can eat anything. The Pokédex even boasts that he can fit an automobile tire in his mouth. While that is impressive, I do not get this guy's deal. He does not seem like a great companion or fighter, but is simply a purple version of Bloo, from Foster's Home for Imaginary Friends with some Rick and Morty lips. If you were going to make a Pokémon that ate everything, why not just make it a goat instead of a poison bag/stomach looking dude with spaghetti noodles draped onto its face. Out of respect for Muk, I will stop ragging on his French brother, for now.
3 Steals Steels From Buildings
This is another one of those guys that just makes me question everything about their existence. First off, why does this guy have a clown nose? Second, why does he have Geodude's exact face? And finally, where do they all get these steel girders? Is it like a birthright? When a Timburr evolves to Gurdurr, does he earn his deceased great grandfather's girder as an inheritance? Or does it come out of the egg it is hatched in? I would have a hard time understanding how an organism could create a steel beam in their womb, but a lot of suspect things happen in Pokémon, so it wouldn't surprise me. I don't like when Pokémon makes me ask questions. This ain't school, I am NOT trying to learn.
2 Floating Eyes Cream
This one was intentionally designed to be ice cream. As you can see above, there is clearly two soft serve vanilla swirls on top of a waffle cone icicle thing. My one question is, why would a Pokémon evolve so stupidly? The conventional word "evolve" would typically mean "get harder to eat", not to look like something that is not only edible but a food that is very desirable. Lickitung has the right idea. That would be like someone who desires to be kicked less strapping a "Kick Me" sign to their backs and then walking through an elementary school. It's simply counterproductive, and frankly, I don't want one of my six Pokémon to be ice cream. Like Finding Nemo taught us, Pokémon are friends, not food.
1 Literal Garbage
The day I saw this abomination was the day I gave up. There are no words that can heal this hurt. There is only rage at what Pokémon has become. There is no order to this list, but if there was, this would be number one. Trubbish and Garbodor are figuratively (and literally) absolute garbage Pokémon. It's hard to even be light-hearted about this one because its existence is so egregious. Someone at Nintendo said, "Hey, let's make a Pokémon that is just a bag of garbage!" Then, another person said, "Yeah, let's make it evolve too!" Then all the higher-ups saw this (this SIN) and put it into our beloved game. I understand coming up with ideas is hard, but Nintendo just needs to do better. This is just not okay.