The Fallout series isn’t afraid to put players in uncomfortable, ethically questionable positions on the off-chance they’ll learn a thing or two about humanity. Well, if there's anything we've learned from our respective journeys through the irradiated sandbox that was once the good old U.S. of A., it's that the wasteland—and the unsavory folks inhabiting it—can be unforgiving jerks. Fortunately, we also learned pretty early on that we could too.
Bethesda’s post-apocalyptic, alternate history RPG series has always played things fast and loose when it comes to morality, offering players the chance to make a name for themselves as messiah of the wastes—or revel in chaos, mutilation, and general debauchery. Struck with a sudden urge to loot, maim, and cannibalize a friendly settlement of teenagers just to abduct a single NPC in exchange for a few caps from a slaver boss? Go for it, but don’t expect to get invited to many parties now that you’ve got an acquaintance with a name like “Eulogy Jones.”
Not every evil deed comes with its own perks—likewise, sometimes playing dirty burns you in the long-run—but the world of Fallout still presents many a chance for your inner psychopath to marry their two favorite pastimes: vicious villainy and cold, hard caps. Here are 15 completely messed up things that Fallout rewards you for doing.
15 Falling On Deaf Ears
If there's one way that Fallout 3 loves to mess with its players, it's by siccing random squads of cold-hearted killers after them—whether they're playing lawful good, chaotic evil, or somewhere in-between, in that cozy morally grey area. But just because you're a walking sack of gold to everybody and their mother, that doesn't mean you can't get in on the action too. If your karma is low enough, you can obtain the Contract Killer perk—an ability that lets you collect ears from the corpses of kindhearted NPCs to be exchanged for caps (and even more negative karma—like you need it) from Littlehorn & Associates's very own mastermind of crime, Daniel Littlehorn. I mean, I guess a few extra caps never hurt anybody? Still—ears? Gross. Although, the regulators—the "good" equivalent of the Wasteland's contract killers—take fingers instead. How original. So I suppose everybody's got blood on their hands... literally.
14 Cryin' Bryan
Poor Bryan Wilks. So lonely. So vulnerable. Kids just don't stand a chance out in the wastes—especially homeless, defenseless, unarmed kids. You first meet the young Wilks in the settlement known as Grayditch, where he's running for his life from a swarm of giant, fire-breathing ants who've killed his friends and family and decimated his neighborhood. If you manage to exterminate the irritable insects and save the day, you're left with a choice: where to send the newly-orphaned Bryan Wilks? The logical choice would be Rivet City, since his aunt owns and operates a hotel in the broken-down aircraft carrier-turned-settlement. Alternatively, you could opt to send him over to Little Lamplight, where he'd at least have some semblance of a community. Well, if neither of these options sate your frozen heart, you have a third: selling poor Bryan Wilks off into slavery. Paradise Falls bigwig Eulogy Jones will even give you 100 caps for your crime against humanity, you monster.
13 Ultra Violence
In the Capital Wasteland, few things are more sought after than superior firepower. Galaxy News Radio's Three Dog puts it best in his PSA: "If your weapon is falling apart, the only Wasteland [a-hole] it's gonna kill is you." So when you spot a functioning firearm, it's in your best interest to nab it before somebody else does. Thing is, that's not always easy—especially when said firearm already has an owner... and especially when said owner is a tough-as-nails relic hunter-cum-soldier-for-hire like Sydney.
You cross paths with the loner mercenary with a heart of gold when you both find yourself on the same mission: stealing the Declaration of Independence for Rivet City's resident historian. After a somber story about her late father, Sydney offers to team up with you. If you decide to work together, you've got yourself a temporary companion toting a killer weapon—Sydney's 10mm "Ultra" SMG. Once the dust is cleared, you then have the option to complete a quest to locate a holotape Sydney's father had recorded for his "Little Moonbeam" in exchange for her weapon. Or, instead, you could just gun her down in cold blood, steal her one-of-a-kind gun—which she learned how to use thanks to her ammunition-making father after her mother was murdered by raiders—and collect her share of the reward money. You know. Because moral ambiguity.
12 Doctor Doom
One of Fallout 3's most unique quests involves the Lone Wanderer entering a simulation to free his father from the clutches of an evil jerk who trapped Vault 112's residents in his glorified Oculus Rift walking simulator.
In this Pleasantville-inspired simulation, the Lone Wanderer finds themselves in the body of a young child, complete with a Vault-Boy novelty watch where their Pip-Boy used to be. You discover that Dr. Braun has taken the form of a little girl named Betty and is controlling the "lives" of the trapped residents. The way to complete this that nabs you the most positive karma involves triggering a failsafe, putting the catatonic vault-dwellers out of their misery and trapping Dr. Braun inside his nightmare.
One alternative? Heeding the good doctor's call to dispatch of the residents of Tranquility Lane by donning a "Pint-Sized Slasher" mask and putting your aspiring butcher skills to good use. Either way, the result is the same: you and Dad are freed from Dr. Braun's clutches. But the real reward? Teaming up with the evil s.o.b. and going full Friday the 13th on their backsides.
Talk about bad bedside manner, amirite?
11 Every Brahmin For Themselves
Let's get down to brass tacks: in Fallout, killing an innocent NPC is bad. It's bad, bad, bad. And you should feel bad for doing it. They had a life, man! They had a family! Even from a practical perspective, random acts of mutilation can mean heavy hits to karma and, if your victim is a unique NPC, even one less quest. But killing a brahmin—one of the cute li'l two-headed cows scampering peacefully around the wasteland? Oh, you've gone and done it now. These double-domed, extra-uttered beasts of burden are a favorite mode of transportation for caravanners and traveling merchants, and, as such, the ones populating Fallout 3’s Capital Wasteland are typically loaded to the ears with loot. For the slightly morally stunted, stealing a trader’s key and “unlocking” the pack brahmin’s inventory is one way to get your mitts on their wares. For the devil-in-the-flesh, a few shotgun blasts to the cranium(s) and you’ve got yourself a good ol’ pile of smoking, mutated meat—along with every item in the bullet-riddled bovine’s inventory. Hope you’re proud of yourself.
10 Bear Your Shame
While it was published by Bethesda just like Fallout 3 and Fallout 4, Fallout: New Vegas was developed by Obsidian. Many longtime fans of the old-school entries argue that New Vegas is a return to the series’ bleak, darkly comic roots. In other words, it’s probably the nastiest of the modern Fallout games. One such example of its limitless capacity for cruelty? An unmarked side quest called “Saving Sergeant Teddy.”
A young slave girl named Melody tells you that The Fort’s dog handler, Antony, stole her teddy bear—the titular Sergeant Teddy—and it’s up to you to rescue him from the evil Legionnaire.
Well, doing so is not exactly a walk in the park. It involves fighting a pack of dogs in the Legion Arena, killing Antony for Melody’s stuffed BFF, or putting your stealthy skills to the test and pickpocketing it from the guy. No matter how you retrieve the bear, bringing it back to the poor little girl yields two options. One: hand it over to the girl, returning her only friend in the world—the obvious option for anybody with a heart. Or two: tearing it in half right in front of her like the savage that you are. Your reward? Legion fame. Yay. What a worthwhile trade for your human soul.
9 The Tenpenny Purge
When a crew of ghouls from a nearby metro tunnel express interest in moving into hoighty-toighty Tenpenny Tower, you’re given a few options: promoting unity and co-habitation, disposing of Tenpenny’s peeps to make room for the tower’s new tenants, or putting the shufflers in the ground.
The security head honcho has a particularly vile scheme in mind: eliminating the ghouls by any means necessary. He promises 500-700 caps for taking them out, and he even gives you a new assault rifle. Now, there’s nothing stopping you from channeling your inner Ash Williams and painting Warrington Station with the ghoul’s blood. On the other hand, what kind of nihilistic looney would you be if you didn’t take full advantage of your acquaintances’ unwavering (and misplaced) trust?
For the truly discerning sadist, there is but one option: convincing Gustavo that you’ll lend a hand, scoring your shiny new firearm, and emptying Tenpenny Tower of its residents with the very same gun. Next comes looting all of their junk and pretending to be a well-adjusted human being just long enough to procure your reward before thanking the former officer of the law with a well-aimed shotgun blast to the noggin.
There’s nothing quite like a good ol’ fashioned purge… is what you might be thinking if you’re a ghoul mask-wearing, assault rifle-wielding, genocide-committing dumpster fire of a sentient being.
8 Life With Lorenzo
In the Fallout universe, moral ambiguity is the hottest thing. Most of the time, people are just trying to do their best to survive another exploding lunchbox. Whether that means scavenging the wastes for the bare essentials or dosing yourself and your family with a serum derived from the blood of your father, an insane, immortal archeologist kept alive for centuries thanks to the extraordinary powers of an ancient alien helmet, is up to each individual.
Let’s keep this short—the less we have to talk about the glitchy, bug-ridden Cabot House, the better. Working with scientist Jack Cabot is typical Fallout 4 fare: you’re given the choice to kill Jack’s kooky, undying pops, Lorenzo Cabot, or free him from his cell in the basement of Parsons State Insane Asylum.
This seems like a no-brainer, considering anybody wielding the power of a living, breathing alien deity is probably something of a flight risk. Even Jack Cabot himself, a brilliant man who’s dedicated his life to studying his father’s alien crown, agrees. Well, let’s pretend for a second that you’re not a being capable of rational thought, and, instead of heeding Jack’s warning, you decided to release Lorenzo from his cell.
Congrats! You just sentenced the entire Cabot family—including your good buddy Jack—to a painful death. But at least you get an endless supply of his magical serum—a consumable that grants you +5 Strength, +50 Damage Resistance, and -10 Radiation per second for an hour.
...Yeah, that’s not a bad deal actually. Jack was kind of a butthead, right? Right. We won’t tell if you don’t.
7 Pleased To Meat You
Fallout: New Vegas is all about giving players the ability to choose how they affect the “lives” of NPCs. Sometimes, that much freedom can be a burden, like when you’re tasked with taking on the side quest “Beyond The Beef.” Your job: saving Ted Gunderson, the son of a rancher—Heck Gunderson—who is scheduled to be murdered and cooked by a bunch of snobby former cannibals named The White Glove Society because the front desk manager, Mortimer, had to be that guy and try to reinstate their gross gastro habits of old.
The solution seems cut-and-dry. Free the kid, sneak him out, and put together a substitute meal without alerting the nutjob helming the people-platter-party. Or, if you’re more the anti-hero type—or if you’ve started the “Pheeble Will” side quest—you can kill Ted, frame his father for the crime, and exact revenge for Walter Phebus, a fellow rancher who’d been cheated out of his land by Ted’s dad in a shady deal.
If you thought that was cold, there’s a third option for the truly callous: sacrificing one of your trusted companions by locking them in a freezer and substituting them for the boy. This snags you a 500 cap reward and a bunch of “fame” with The White Glove Society. Like that's a good thing.
6 Romero Style
Yeah, we get it: ghouls are people too. But that doesn’t mean that they’re nice people. Some of the nastiest ne’er-do-wells in Fallout 3 just so happen to be "shufflers.” And Mister Crowley has got to be one of the meanest, most unapologetically bitter ones around. Biding his time in the Ninth Circle—Underworld’s favorite watering hole—he’s got one thing on his mind when you meet him: revenge.
You see, he and a few other guns for hire were hired by none other than the ever-pleasant Allistair Tenpenny to retrieve an unnamed weapon from Fort Constantine, a long-abandoned and super secure military outpost. Years ago, Dukov locked Crowley in a room full of feral ghouls without realizing that they wouldn’t attack a fellow ghoul. After Crowley escaped, he swore vengeance on his one-time squadmates. And so he comes clean, explaining that he wanted you to retrieve the keys from the surviving mercs so that he could collect the armor.
Yeah, you can go about the whole thing without hurting a fly using speech checks, pickpocketing—that sort of thing. Or you could totally massacre every last traitorous swine, hand the keys over to Crowley, wait for him to return with his spoils, and then kill him and assume your role as worthy owner of the T-51b. Your call, mate.
5 Pants On Fire
Fallout 3 may have been the first entry in the series to “properly” animate the technique that Herbert “Daring” Dashwood’s sidekick Argyle has dubbed the “Shady Sands Shuffle,” but it isn’t the first to implement it—especially not as a way of assassinating a politician by weaponizing his freakin’ son. Let me explain: In Fallout 3, your “morally ambiguous character” can reverse pickpocket NPCs by stealthily slipping live explosives into their pockets. The subject of your wrath pats around their person before exploding into a spray of blood and giblets. I’m sure you can imagine the mess. While it’s one of the more gruesome ways of putting the Capital Wasteland’s denizens out of their misery, it’s by no means the darkest use of the sadistic sneak attack in the series.
At one point in Fallout 2, your character can pick up some extra merc work from a ruthless mob boss by the name of John Bishop. Among the unsavory jobs he’ll throw your way is a plot to assassinate the vice president of the NCR, Frank Carlson. Carlson’s home is heavily guarded, so, in order to pull off the hit, you’ll need to be a little creative. You can steal the appropriate security clearance pass, or you could feign interest in a job interview... or, and this is a rough one, so brace yourself, you could plant a timed detonation on Carlson’s son, send him to talk to his father—and BOOM. Your reward is 2500 XP, the Made Man reputation title, and the eternal stigma of the “Childkiller” trait.
4 A Mind Is A Terrible Thing To Waste
Even in the bleak, dog-eat-dog world of Fallout 2, there are a million reasons to avoid killing kids. Chief among them: committing infanticide means you’ll end up with a bounty on your head—and where there are bounties, there are those who hunt them.
Well, killing kids is one thing, but we’re talking about Myron, so… maybe a few less than a million. Maybe. Myron is horrible. He experiments on slaves. Worst of all, he’s an unapologetic assaulter who tries to have his way with the Chosen One by serving female players with low intelligence and/or endurance a spiked drink.
Unfortunately, he’s a teenager, and that means making mincemeat of the creep tags you with the dreaded “Childkiller” trait. Some eagle-eyed players have discovered a method of dispatching the perv without becoming the target of every bounty hunter this side of New Reno. You didn’t hear it from me, but The Sierra Army Depot located Northwest of New Reno houses an organ extraction apparatus that can remove a companion’s brain. Well, Myron is a recruitable character, if you see where I’m going here. Still, are you sure you’re mentally and emotionally prepared to pull this kid’s brain out of his skull?
...I’ll keep watch.
3 The Bright Ultimatum
Stop us if you’re heard this one before: a group of crazy, religious ghouls led by Jason Bright, a peace-loving zombie, seek a new home where they can be free from the “smoothskins’” discrimination, so they’ve perpetuated the delusions of a mentally unstable human mechanic who thinks he’s a rot-faced no-nose in hopes that he’ll help them fix a pair of rockets that can transport them to the moon—promised land ground zero.
And you can help! Of course you can help. This is a Fallout game after all, so the New Vegas side quest “Come Fly With Me” puts you front and center of the galactic galavant. Keep in mind, however: This is a Fallout game, so you can also sabotage the rockets by convincing Chris Haversam—the literally not-a-ghoul mechanic—that he is in fact human. He’ll go all “hellbent on revenge” and alter the take-off so that the rockets crash into one another. And you get to flex your murder muscles. And the nearby settlement will celebrate you for getting rid of those dang ghouls—everybody wins! Well, except for the ghouls. The ghouls definitely don’t win. And it’s all your fault, you cold-blooded smoothskin.
2 Watch The World Burn
You knew this was coming. It was the first time you tasted true regret in Fallout 3. The first time you saw the face of true evil staring back at you from a shattered mirror. The first time you loaded a two-hours-old save just to change a single choice. I'm talking the first—and probably last—time you decided to blow up Megaton.
Detonating the dormant atomic bomb at the center of the city in exchange for a safe haven, a warm bed, and a mere 500 caps—1k if you haggled properly—is one of the most vile choices you can make. It's so evil, in fact, and so abominable in actual, true, real-life, human reality that the developers removed both Mr. Burke and the player's ability to detonate the bomb from the Japanese version of the game.
The city welcomed you with open arms—they gave you a chance to prove your worth when the rest of the Wasteland spat at you. "But a luxury hotel at Tenpenny Tower!" whispered the devil on your shoulder named Mr. Burke. Well, you can wipe away your latest autosave, but you can't wipe away the imprint it left on your heart.
1 The Foils Of War
No matter what final choice you make in Fallout 4, somebody bites the dust. Side with the zealous, tech-hoarding Brotherhood of Steel? The Railroad gets a bullet between their collective eyes and Liberty Prime leads an assault on The Institute’s “secret” hiding place. Take The Railroad up on their plan to liberate the synths? The Prydwen takes a fiery nosedive and The Institute… well, The Institute goes Insta-boom, along with all the characters with whom you’ve developed a sense of camaraderie like Dr. Li.
And maybe these actions would be excusable if the rewards were worth the bloodshed. But most of the choices you make in the final hours of the game’s main quests provide players with little incentive beyond role-playing consistency.
Siding with the Brotherhood grants you access to a Power Armor jetpack mod—one that you could totally build on your own with high enough Science and Armorer perks. Think that’s anti-climactic? Joining the Institute nabs you a big stinking pile of nothing. You read that right: nothing. Sure, a handful of Institute side quests come with their own lackluster rewards like a unique pair of glasses that gives you a +2 intelligence boost. But you’d be hard-pressed to find a less rewarding end-game experience in the Fallout series.
I mean, glasses? What a bunch of nerds.