Dear Gamer Mom,
My husband is a big gamer. He enjoys his hobby and I’m happy for him to do so. However, I’d like to leave the baby with him while he plays, so I can go and do something else. Is this ok? He often plays loud or violent games such as Grand Theft Auto or Call of Duty. I’m worried that it might harm the baby.
Sonic Boom In San Francisco
Thanks for your question, Sonic Boom! To begin with, it won’t harm your baby to be in the same room as someone who is gaming, as long as you take a couple of simple steps to protect them.
I have often played games with my babies in the room and there have been no ill effects. All 3 are long past the baby stage, and none of them seem in any way adversely affected by my enjoyment of gaming. It’s perfectly safe to play while a baby is with you, as long as you’re being responsible.
There are two different concerns that you mention, the game’s content and its volume. Both of these have different effects on babies, depending on their age. There’s also another issue you need to worry about, which is attention.
The issue of content is the least concerning of the three. A baby's vision takes months to develop fully and they will have no idea what they are watching, whether it's Civilization or Call Of Duty. For the first few months, in particular, they can only see a couple of feet in front of them. Furthermore, there’s no need for them to watch the screen at all, especially when they aren’t mobile yet.
My Babies Loved Watching My Face While I Played
My babies loved watching me game. I often put them in a bouncer with a toy, or on a play mat, and sat them near to me, so they could see my face.
When gaming, many of us get very animated in our expressions, something which often fascinates babies. Often I would chatter away to the baby as I played, glancing at them when the game had natural breaks. They loved watching me and I still got to game, which helped me relax.
Keep The Volume Down, And Try Not To Shout In Frustration
The volume of my game was much more of an issue than anything the baby may see on a screen. Games can be noisy, and people playing games can be even noisier.
Babies have incredibly sensitive ears and excessive noise can damage their hearing. The current guidelines suggest that infants are not exposed to more than 70-80 Decibels of noise. For context, a normal conversation is around 60 Decibels. If you’re unsure of the noise levels there are several free apps for your mobile which will measure them for you.
If you find that the game's volume is too loud there are a few ways you can solve this issue. The most obvious one is to turn down or even mute the volume of the game. You could use subtitles, turn the music or sound effects down or even use headphones.
I often muted games or turned the volume down low, if my babies were in the room. Some games were fine and the low background music was comforting. However, the more loud and unpredictable the noises, especially if they involved something like gunfire or screaming, the more likely I was to turn it off. I also muted any games with bad language, to avoid ending up with a toddler whose first word was a curse.
In situations where I absolutely needed to hear the game, I'd wear headphones.
Be Responsible
The final issue you need to worry about is responsibility. If the baby is in the room with you then you cannot ignore the baby in favor of the game.
The way I gamed made it easy to do both things at once. As the baby was facing me I could easily glance at them to check they were ok. I used natural pauses in the game to regularly look over at them and interact with them. If they cried I paused the game to check them.
I played a variety of games, but when I had the baby with me I chose not to play anything I couldn’t pause, so it wouldn’t lead to me getting frustrated if the baby needed my attention. I also chose not to go on voice chat, due to the risk of me raising my voice too loudly.
Finally, if I used headphones I have some which you can bend at once side, allowing them to fit comfortably over just one ear. This enabled me to be able to hear the baby as well as easily see them.
Gaming and parenting don’t have to be mutually exclusive. As long as you are being responsible, by ensuring you can see and hear your baby, and by not exposing them to loud noises, then you are fine to enjoy your hobby, while still looking after your baby.