When I first met my boyfriend in 2016, gaming wasn’t part of my life. Just like so many other people, I’d accepted the idea that games were merely distractions. I’d worked hard to earn myself a seat at the executive table at an agency. Gaming was an afterthought relative to spreadsheets, budgets and strategic planning.

My now-partner and I met through work and bonded very quickly. We’d only been dating for a few months before we made the decision to move in together.

Before we decided to move in together, I had some understanding of his background in video games. I knew he’d been a competitive Counter-Strike player in his younger days, and that he’d earned money by playing in tournaments as a teen.

“I just need you to know… I play video games. But I won’t ever put them before you,” he told me one day via video chat. “I know it sounds weird to have to say that, but that’s apparently a thing that people have to explain these days.”

I laughed before telling him I’d actually done some video game journalism just a few years before.

From Destiny Blueberry To Vanguard Beast

Due to my role at the agency, I had an endless slate of evening work events, late-night prep sessions and travel. I’d frequently come home to find him playing “that game” on Xbox. It was a sci-fi shooter game where characters would fly around in robes, shooting alien beings and collecting emerald-looking packages. I’d joke with him about it — I’d never played a first-person shooter game and initially, I could barely follow what was happening.

“But it’s so fun,” he said. “I think you might like it.” He eventually created a character for me on his account. I played for about an hour before I set the controller down. I didn't think about it again for several more months.

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Sometime in late 2016, he decided it was time to get himself an Xbox One S. This meant he had an old Xbox, which he could have either sold or stashed in a closet somewhere. On a whim, he hooked it up to a monitor on a desk in our living room.

“Just in case you ever want to play with me,” he said.

When the holidays rolled around, I found myself with some free time. He asked if I wanted to play Destiny with him and offered to pay the game as a Christmas gift. So, I downloaded it, figuring it could be a good for at least a few hours.

It wasn’t long before I’d racked up nearly 200 hours in that game. I took breaks from Destiny to experiment with other titles such as Mass Effect: Andromeda and Dead Rising 4. But I always came back to Destiny.

Destiny became something we could play together. Slowly but surely, I got better at it, and, once again, gaming became part of the identity I left behind several years before. I fell in love with slaughtering Taken and completing activities on the Dreadnaught.

I made fan art for the game. For his birthday, I painted a picture that was inspired by Destiny promotional art. Though not my best work — I’ve since then gotten a lot better at painting — it still hangs on our living room wall.

A painted rendition of Destiny promotional art.
via: Whitney Meers
A painted rendition of Destiny promotional art.

My experience with Destiny was just enough to prepare me for Destiny 2. Together, we watched videos hyping up what to expect in the forthcoming release. With that game, there was no turning back. As a fireteam, we explored planets and lost sectors, defeating the Red Legion and performing our service to the Vanguard.

The Ghosts Of Christmas Past

In 2017, we celebrated Christmas at his family’s home outside of Chicago. I’d had his Christmas present delivered there, and I’d told him repeatedly about how cool I thought it was without ever actually telling him what it was. It was still in a cardboard box with no description on the outside when he happened to see me pick it up.

“I think I may have gotten you the same present you got me,” he said.

“No way. Plus, how could you even know that?” I asked.

“The gift I got you came in the same size box.”

“Well, what did you get me?”

He paused. “It’s a Destiny ghost shell that connects to our Alexa,” he said.

It still amazes me that of the millions of things either of us could have possibly purchased, we'd chosen the exact same gift to give to the other.

A Destiny 2 Crimson Days ghost shell.
via: Bungie
A Destiny 2 Crimson Days ghost shell.

Forsaken, Funerals and Fortnite

With the Forsaken expansion, we mourned the death of Cayde-6. My boyfriend even listened patiently as I daydreamed about how we could put together a fantasy funeral for our favorite character. (There would definitely be spicy ramen involved.)

With his encouragement, I also began to transition back into video game journalism. I found myself writing and gaming all the time. Even when I dipped my toes into Fortnite, I would always return to play Destiny 2 with him. At one point, one of our clan members suggested I'd become better than my boyfriend at the game.

By 2019, he wasn’t able to play video games as much anymore due to work obligations and an overall need to take a break. When Apex Legends launched, it usurped my time as I’d started to burn out on Destiny 2 anyway.

Still, that summer, he and I decided we’d celebrate our love of all things Destiny at GuardianCon (now called Gaming Community Expo). There, we met writers and game developers from the series. I also had the unique pleasure of introducing him to DrLupo, whom I’d recently interviewed as part of a Fortnite project for a national magazine. The conference and the people energized me, and soon after I returned, I began contributing to TheGamer.

Destiny 2 guardians ride sparrows next to one another during Crimson Days event,
via: Bungie
Destiny 2 guardians ride sparrows next to one another during Crimson Days event,

My Vanguard Valentine

Neither of us plays Destiny 2 as much as we used to — I’m not even currently at the game’s maximum light level. But we won’t soon forget the impact that Destiny and Destiny 2 had on our relationship. Without it, he might have been a lost Hunter, and I, a lost Warlock. But years into our relationship, Destiny remains consistent.

Ours is just one story among many. We’re not the first couple, and we won’t be the last couple, who bonded through gaming.

There are countless stories on the internet of gaming causing rifts in peoples' relationships. But in our case, hundreds of hours of gaming brought us closer together.

You could almost say it was… Destiny.

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