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The hardening/softening system describes how a character's personality in Dragon Age can change based on the player's dialogue options and story decisions. In Dragon Age: Origins, the system applied to both Alistair and Leliana. In Dragon Age 2, though the companions would grow and evolve with the player and their choices, there was nothing comparable to a hardening/softening system.
In Dragon Age: Inquisition, companions change and grow in ways that don't require a hardening/softening aspect — but Leliana is the exception. She is your spymaster, a woman devout and loyal to the Chantry, Thedas' church. By the end of the game, Leliana can either be soft, also called 'inspired' (meaning she is empathetic and strives to find peaceful solutions to dealing with opponents — more spy than assassin) or hard, also called 'steeled' (meaning she is ruthless and fights for what she believes in with a ferocious will — more assassin than spy).
Updated October 13, 2021 by Gabrielle Huston: With the newest Dragon Age game looming larger every day, players are eagerly replaying the games and making sure they've made the best choices for their playthrough. This guide has been updated to make it as clear as possible how the player can choose whether Leliana is hardened or softened by the end of the game.
What Are The Consequences Of Hardening Or Softening Leliana?
While some players may want to intentionally harden or soften Leliana for the purposes of their roleplaying, it's especially important if Leliana is elected as the next Divine.
Whether she is hardened or softened will determine how she reacts to the sects that oppose her reformations to the Chantry:
- A hardened Leliana will murder them.
- A softened Leliana will negotiate with them.
How To Harden Leliana
By default, Leliana is hardened at the beginning of Dragon Age: Inquisition. Dragon Age: Origins also had a hardening/softening system for Leliana, but whatever the player chose in that game has no bearing on her state in Inquisition.
The player's dialogue options (and one choice during her personal quest) ultimately determine whether Leliana will change to a softened state by the end of the game. If you're looking to soften her, you'll need to hit most (if not all) of them correctly. If you're looking to harden her, you'll need to avoid these choices at all costs.
How To Soften Leliana
Changing Leliana's outlook on life requires you to carefully select certain responses anytime that you have a one-on-one conversation with her.
The Dragon Age community generally agrees that the steps in this guide should soften Leliana... but the process is hidden from players, so it's hard to tell. To be extra careful, try to remember the values you are trying to encourage any time that you speak with her. If you want to harden her, focus on and emphasize ruthless behavior, doing what must be done for the greater good at whatever cost. If you want to soften her, encourage her natural kindness and generous spirit, insisting that there are alternative paths to violence that can provide the same or better results.
In Haven
- Takes Place: After The Tutorial
There are two conversations you'll have with Leliana in Haven that will affect whether she is softened or hardened.
The first time the Herald meets Leliana, she is praying to the Maker in her tent. For the first two dialogue choices, select anything. For the third dialogue choice, in order to soften her, select "My Sympathies." This will prompt Leliana to admit that the recent death of her mentor, Divine Justinia, has been more painful than she's been letting on.
The second time is when Leliana is talking about executing a traitor. To soften her, choose the option "Do you have to kill him?" and convince her not to do it however you prefer. She'll resist the Herald at first, but eventually admit that killing the man isn't entirely necessary.
In Skyhold
- Takes Place: After Haven Is Attacked By Corypheus
Arriving at Skyhold is a momentous occasion, but it comes on the heels of the terrible loss. As the player does the rounds to check in with their companions, they'll eventually arrive in Leliana's tower. You'll find her talking to Cullen, blaming herself for pulling her agents back at haven and insisting they could have done more if she hadn't.
Do not blame her for what happened. Blame Corypheus at the first dialogue wheel, and reaffirm her choice at the second. Then, when you arrive at the third dialogue choice, select "Our men are not disposable."
During "The Left Hand Of The Divine" Quest
- Takes Place: After Completing The Quests "Here Lies The Abyss" And "Wicked Eyes And Wicked Hearts"
Leliana's personal quest, "The Left Hand Of The Divine," is her deciding moment.
In this quest, she meets an old friend, Sister Natalie, who is actually a spy for the Inquisition's enemies. Leliana plays along with Natalie's ruse until the end of the quest, when Leliana turns on Natalie and wants to kill her so she can't report back. Tell Leliana to "Let her Go." Assuming you chose all the right options this far, Leliana will begrudgingly agree.
Leliana proceeds to open a box supposedly left behind for her by Divine Justinia, but discovers that it's empty. You can choose any option you like on the first dialogue wheel, but for the second choice, you must select "Stop torturing yourself." Leliana thanks you for your help, and leaves.
How To Tell If It Worked?
The easiest way to tell if Leliana is hardened or softened is whether or not she let Natalie go; if you hadn't selected enough of the correct dialogue responses in previous conversations, Leliana may kill Natalie even if you told her to spare her — this will mean she's hardened.
To be extra sure, talk to Leliana again when returning to Skyhold after her personal quest. The dialogue options don't matter here; her softened/hardened state is already locked in. A softened Leliana will tell the player that she has realized she can become more than what Justinia molded her into, calling the feeling akin to being "reborn." On the other hand, a hardened Leliana will decide that the Inquisition needs her skills exactly the way Justinia made them and that her ruthlessness is something she should be proud of, not afraid of.