Dungeons & Dragons has been the epitome of super nerdom since 1974, and I mean that in the best way possible. I'm all for something that is all about exploiting very constrictive rules for amusing loopholes, and pretending you are a Necromancer. I'll admit, my dalliances in D&D are sparse, but what I have experienced, I've immediately loved. And since in this day and age, nerdy stuff is creeping up out of the shadows and becoming more socially acceptable thanks to shows like Community or Stranger Things and celebrities like Vin Diesel, the internet can now openly start sharing jokes about some of the most ridiculous things they've encountered in the world of tabletop gaming. And you know what the internet's favorite way of sharing jokes and stories are? Memes.

So in my travels across the weird wide web, I noticed more and more threads where people were sharing some seriously funny memes about a subject that I thought only a niche section of the world enjoyed. But then I remember that the world has almost eight billion people on it, so even a niche of that is going to be a massive amount of people. So there was a whole untapped genre of meme for me to get behind because I forgot how huge the nerd community is. And once I started falling down that rabbit hole, I couldn't just keep these images to myself, no I had to pass on this craziness to you, my readers. So whether you are a long-time D&D fanatic, a dabbler like myself or just have a passing familiarity, I'm sure some of these will tickle your fancy.

43 What's In A Name?

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For a game titled Dungeons & Dragons, you spend very little time in dungeons. Fields? Sure. Caves? All the time. Towns? You get lost in those for days, buying and trading useless baubles. But dungeons? Incredibly rarely. And dragons? I will be honest, I have never been a part of an adventure that had a dragon in it, and I’ve never witnessed one either. Dragonborn sometimes, which is a weirdly specific overlap between Skyrim and D&D but never a dragon. And now that I’ve looked back and realized I’ve never fought a titular dragon, I feel incredibly cheated. There should be a minimum of one dragon and one dungeon in every adventure.

Skyrim on the other hand is awash with both dungeons and dragons. Almost too many, if you ask me. It felt like you couldn’t take a simple trip to melt down some Dwemer metal without tripping over a dragon. And every third door you open seems to lead you into a dungeon, even if you are certain that the map said it would lead you to Whiterun. So I guess for people who love the namesake of Dungeons & Dragons but don’t have the patience to hang out with a group of people, Skyrim is a pretty acceptable substitute.

42 Hurry Up, You Nerds!

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Many people love Dungeons & Dragons because of the huge level of immersion. It is a game that mostly runs on the unending power of imagination, so people visualize themselves in the world the DM has created. They interact with the townsfolk, find out any local gossip, maybe seduce some locals, pickpocket some guards simply because they can. Maybe the Bard puts on a concert in the local tavern simply that’s because what their character would do. They offer to help get a cat out of a tree, fix a roof, and enter a jousting contest, whatever. There’s so much to do in this world!

Some people are only here for the conflict.

Obviously the kind of player who creates a Dwarven Barbarian is intending on having an adventure full of violence. They are basically only suited for swinging an axe, so when they see their teammates enjoying all that geek stuff like role-play and immersion, it can get pretty frustrating. Which is actually the most immersive thing in the world, if you ask me, as every adventure party has that one person who is super bored with everyone else having fun and is just hanging around until the fighting starts.

41 That Hardly Seems Fair

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Wizards tend to rely on their ability to cast spells versus the use of brute strength. They can throw fireballs, use healing magic, and summon stuff, whatever. They rely on their wisdom and intelligence to aid their party, while the the more physically adept run headfirst into battle, relying on the physical prowess to finally down the foe. Of course, all of that strategy goes out the window when the Wizard can give up on casting spells and simply turns into an enormous dragon. Suddenly the old, grandfatherly man in the corner is the most powerful person in the fight.

Shapechange is kind of a bunk power, if you ask me. Changing into the shape of an animal is one thing, because humans regularly hunt every animal there is, so obviously they have weaknesses. And you are trading in the abilities of one for the abilities of another. But for some hunchbacked, arthritis ridden old fogey to suddenly transform into any creature that flickers across their mind is clearly unfair to the rest of the party. Why wouldn’t everyone just become a Wizard? And yes, I understand that you can only transform into a creature equal to your characters level, but that simply means you let your party protect you up until the point where you could transform into a dragon.

40 Absolute Power Corrupts, Absolutely

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I remember when I watched this scene in Adventure Time I needed to recover from laughing so hard. There's such a bait and switch in this moment, because Jake is such a pure and decent soul, but the moment he's given too much power over a bunch of wimps, he just transitions straight into a jerk. It's a pretty decent commentary on the fact that nobody knows how decent of a person they are going to be up until the point where they actually have the power to behave indecently. It's was true for Jake, who is an adorable rubber dog, and it is true of anyone who plays D&D. The moment you come across a scenario filled with weak losers who couldn't possible harm you in any way, you test the limits of morality.

You start pulling the stuff you wouldn't pull in a kingdom or with characters necessary to your quest. You'll either be hunted down by guards for being rascals, or you'll miss out on crucial information on how to find the secret waterfall or whatever. But a small village, where the people have no formal combat training and definitely don't know how to defend against Necromancy, well those people are ripe for the ruling.

39 No Take Backs!

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I guess there’s an unspoken rule that anything that leaves your mouth in D&D can’t be taken back. I guess it makes sense for the sake of immersion, since if you decided to execute a sneak attack on a Gargoyle you can’t exactly take it back. If you could take back every stupid thing you announce, it would derail the whole rhythm of the game. So when the same rule that applies to the players applies to the DM, they need to be very careful about which words they let escape their mouth. So whenever they misspeak and give you more gold, or platinum, than they intended, the players would glob onto that opportunity.

The difference between gold and platinum in D&D is the difference between being paid your paycheque in Bitcoin versus real, human, adult monies. It is worth noting that the platinum piece is worth ten gold pieces, so whatever amount the DM meant to pay you is now times ten. Another weird thing about platinum pieces in the game is that they arouse suspicion whenever you try to complete transactions with them, which makes a kind of sense. It would be like if you tried to by a pack of gum with a gold doubloon.

38 The Power Of The Natural Twenty

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We are living in a golden age of Internet, because half of all images online are of Jean-Luc Picard making a silly face. Some brilliant individual decided to combine that with pictures of Captain Sisko. And if that wasn’t awesome enough, for some reason Picard is playing D&D with him, and Sisko is the Dungeon Master. Oh yeah, as crazy as that is, Picard is clearly messing with his DM by trying to negotiate/convince a guard to strip down and cluck like a chicken. This is a classic move by someone who has had entirely too much nonsense from the DM, and needs to show them that they truly wield the power.

No Dungeon Master wants to see their carefully constructed storyline get dissected by a chance roll of a natural twenty. But no adventurer needs to see a DM who takes themselves so seriously that they suck the life out of every quest. So every now and then, you hope a natural twenty will help you make a mockery of everything that Dungeons & Dragons stands for. Because realistically, I doubt there’s anything anyone could ever say to a complete stranger in order to get them to strip and cluck.

37 Don't Judge A Book By Its Cover

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For any of you who have watched Adventure Time you already know what a Lich’s deal is. They tend to be undead creatures who seek to prolong their life through unnatural means. Typically they are seen as enemies, since most people seek to upset the natural order of things for selfish reasons. Usually, when you encounter a Lich you are in for a fight with a powerful spell caster who has an unnatural longevity, because, you know, they don’t have any bodily fluids for you to rob them of through the usual stabbing means. Sometimes they can be psychic, which seems like a pointless addition to an already magic corpse.

But not everything is as it seems in this magical world.

In recent editions of Dungeons & Dragons, there has emerged an anomaly known as a Good Lich. These are spellcasters who sought to cheat their own demise for noble reasons, such as finishing a quest or protecting a loved one. So while the Evil Lich usually hangs out in a graveyard or tomb, doing gross, weird things and generally being a bad person with zero hobbies, the Good Lich would probably kick it in his favorite chair, rocking out near a cozy fire with some dope kitties.

36 That'll Teach You To Care About Anything

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A reoccurring theme you will see in this article is that the Dungeon Master hates you. Even if they don't, and they give you clues as to how to best not get turned into screaming paste, they hate you. It is in their nature. When they see you enjoying something that is out of their control, they will do their level best to take it away from you. The made a whole world full of Mimics and useless potions, so if you start enjoying the game because you made a sweet Elf Cleric, they will resent you and try to take that away from you.

What sucks is that it can take hours to create a character in D&D, and it involves a lot of chance dice rolling, character back-story and maybe some hyper realistic sketches of your characters abs. In the process of creating this being, you have become emotionally attached, because humans are weak and pack bond with anything. And when this new character is suddenly and viciously ripped from their world by the uncaring hand of a merciless DM, it can feel like losing a loved one. It hurts doubly when the DM makes it a silly way for your character to expire, like they fall in a volcano or they are allergic to nuts.

35 Well, That Was Easy

via: dorkly.com

A reoccurring theme you will notice in this article is the barely contained animosity between the Player Characters and the Dungeon Master. On paper, the DM is meant to create a challenging yet fun quest for the PCs, with balanced battles that will take a combination of strength, skill, intelligence, teamwork and imagination. In reality, many DMs will try to grind the team into the dust, but will do so in a way where they can feign ignorance, claiming that they must have overestimated the skill of the group they were playing with. After all, if the group becomes wise to the DM trying to destroy them, they will not invite that person back to be the DM, which would mean they miss out on opportunities to torture their friends.

The best way to get back and the vile and despicable DM is to render all of their hard work moot. If you can sense that the DM wants you to charge into battle against this giant frog thing, do the opposite and do an intimidation check. Rely on the pure luck of the dice. And if you manage to land a twenty, drink in the tears of the DM as they have to watch you walk right past the Frog King’s lair, a battle which they spent all night devising. Maybe take a frog egg for food later down the road, just to rub salt in their wound.

34 Happens To The Best Of Us

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I think we've all been there. You're groggy in the middle of the night and for some reason your little tummy is grumbling. You get up, bleary-eyed, thinking you can navigate your way to the fridge to eat a pickle or something, stumbling through the dark and tripping on a cat, when you take a wrong turn. Whoops, you're in the pain dimension now, you silly goose. In your defense, someone shouldn't have left that portal there, but you knew about that portal beforehand, so really, you have nobody to blame but yourself. At least it seems like you've made a new friend.

Some of you might complain that this isn't necessarily a Dungeons & Dragons meme, firstly because it is more of a comic than a meme, and secondly, because it isn't a direct reference to D&D. To counter the first point, I'll point out that I don't care and the comic is funny. To the second point, I'd say that it features both a dungeon, or at least some sort of cavern, and a dragon. So I'm going to let this one slide on a technicality. Just pretend the lost dude failed a critical check for intelligence or something, so it doesn't ruin your immersion.

33 This Is Who I Am Now!

Although I’m next to certain that the term “Wild Shape” seems self-explanatory, for anyone having doubts, it’s a spell that lets you turn yourself into an animal, or what the game calls “beast form.” It’s a staple spell of being a Druid, and a fan favorite. Obviously, the drawback is that you can’t wield stuff, since most beasts lack thumbs. The plus side is that if you are a bear, you can maul people, which is such a huge plus I can see why you would have trouble giving it up. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been stuck on a bus with someone who listens to music without headphones and wished I was a bear, so I could maul them, or at least roar the into submission.

Because being an animal is so rad, and sometimes there aren’t limits as to how long you can stay in beast form, some players will opt to stay as an animal for as long as it suits them. This can be handy if you choose to be an eagle or something, since you can cover great distances, fly ahead to scout for danger, or climb up sheer mountain cliffs far easier than the rest of your party. You’d just hope the rest of your party is cool with carrying all your stuff.

32 Chance Has Other Plans For You

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As much as you level up your character in D&D, so much of your interactions with characters revolves entirely around luck. Countless times throughout any play through you will need to roll varying amounts of dice with up to 20 sides. Your attributes will be tested by the Dungeon Master whenever they please, and you can fail rolls for Strength, Dexterity, Charisma, Wisdom, Intelligence and Constitution. You know this system is already weighted against you because someone higher up determined that Wisdom and Intelligence are different things. So you have a character with a fleshed out back story, which results in a life of hardships, giving your player a plethora of attained skills that will no doubt come in handy multiple times in this adventure.

If the dice let's you, that is. You'll tell the DM that you plan to do twenty-seven back flips over an Owlbear before landing in a victory pose and causing a freeze frame. They say you need to roll for Dexterity, and as someone who was raised as an acrobat in the fantasy world equivalent of a circus, your character should handle this no problem. But you roll and one, and the DM tells you that the Owlbear devours you midair and executes and even better victory pose than the one you were going to try to pull off.

Bonus points to this image for incorporating a Star Wars image. There's a surprising amount of overlap between these two fandoms, which I suppose makes sense.

31 I Can Take It

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Depending on whom you ask, Meatshield can either be an insult or a badge of honor. A Meatshield is simply a term given to a character that has a lot of HP, meaning they can take massive amounts of damage without having to worry about being taken out of the fight. They usually give cover to the more delicate characters, especially the ones with healing abilities, since those are integral to keeping the whole team on their feet. I’m pretty sure the Goliath is the race with the highest HP, so combine them with the right class and a good suit of armor, and you suddenly have a walking tank that takes hours to be taken down.

They'll usually be the last one standing, unless they do their job right.

I can see why some people would be honored to be called this, since they are crucial to keeping the heart of the group, the Healer, alive. They are the big brothers, the protectors of the group. I can also see how it could be a derogatory term, since there doesn’t seem to be a lot of skill involved in standing in between an old person and a volley of arrows. I get that it’s a useful position, but really, what isn’t? Don’t get too high and might because you picked a race that is physically impervious to harm.

30 What's The Worst That Could Happen?

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I think it’s a universal constant that people are wary of levers. If Indiana Jones or Ghostbusters taught me anything, it’s that levers are the root cause of most conflicts. I know that I feel a huge sense of unease whenever I have to pull a lever, not just because they are a vastly outdated form of activating or deactivating mechanisms. It’s because I have a lasting dread that everyone around me is trying to get me to fall through a trap door. That seems like a ridiculous fear, but if you met the people around me, you would understand.

Anyways, levers are really a game of chance in D&D which is already a game that relies far too heavily on chance. In many dungeons, castles or caves, you will need to activate a lever to progress further. If the DM is in a particularly nasty mood, they will lay out three levers, with the other two causing instant destruction. Other times, the lever will exist with no seemingly useful function, and that’s where the real mind games begin. Did the DM put it here knowing you have an insatiable desire for treasure? Will it drop a silly log on you? Or will it open a secret compartment that will give you unlimited wealth? It’s usually the log.

29 Who Has Time For Stealth?

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Barbarians aren’t really known for the stealth abilities. They pretty much just go completely insane in combat and swing their axe in any old direction. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing, if you have a Barbarian on your side, it’s a thing of beauty to watch them hack enemies to bits while you sit back and drink mead. They make quick work of most foes, and they bring a perfect blend of strength and speed into any battle, dodging what comes at them before cleaving a foe’s head in two. But Dungeons & Dragons isn’t all about battling, now, is it?

No, many areas require stealth, and if the DM expressly says that a mission is a stealth mission, it means that you are improperly equipped to fight any of the foes you encounter. This is good news for most characters, except for Barbarians. They are especially bad at stealth, and will usually be the one to alert people of your intrusions. Sometimes they won’t even do this by accident, and will instead overestimate their ability to take on the group of enemies. They will purposefully kick a skull in their direction, creating a huge, reverberating sound within the cave, and suddenly, you are fighting off 250 Lizardfolk that you were supposed to sneak around.

28 Who Is This Guy?

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Dungeon Masters love putting a character like this in their adventure. You don’t know their race, or their class, and you don’t even know the allegiance. The fact that they keep to the shadows usually makes you assume that they are Chaotic Evil, but who doesn’t love to break tropes? This is someone who could very well aid your party for a little bit, and maybe they will turn on you down the road. That’s the beauty of the Shadowed Stranger archetype, they will behave in ways that only make sense to the DM, but they always add a taste of mystery to your adventure.

I’m pretty sure the standard thing to do is have this mystery person show up and give either an ominous warning or a cryptic riddle to the group. This is meant to anger the group and they will probably think they can attack him. Maybe you beat him, and he has some sweet loot, but only he knew how to open the tomb at the end. It’s standard fare that you are supposed to keep a level head around him and not let your negative emotions get the better of you. Or maybe he was evil the whole time and you were better off the take him out right away, who knows?

27 On Second Thought...

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I think we have established by now that the DM is in no way your friend. They delight in your misery. Of course, I’m sure some of you out there are saying “I truly enjoy providing my friends with an enriching experience” and I’m going to call you a liar right to your digital face. The only fun you get out of the adventure is watching your friends squirm as they try to figure out a way to beat a seemingly impossible puzzle. You’re a lot like The Riddler in that regard, you sicko.

So whenever the DM offers you a piece of advice, you listen to it. They are still human, and they feel a small amount of pity for you when they see the enormous mistake you are about to make. About to pick up a talisman without saying the proper words to break the enchantment? The DM may give you a second to rethink your options. The DM is not in the business of providing people second chances, so to have them ask “Are you sure?” is like the universe stepping in and warning you that your shoelace is untied before you step on that escalator. You have done nothing to deserve this honor, so you had better take this opportunity and appreciate it.

26 By The Skin Of Your Teeth

via: geeknative.com

I'm going to get this out of the way right now and point out that the person in this image is dressed almost exactly like Eleven from Stranger Things. I can't be the only one who sees that, right? I have no idea where the original source image is from, so if you know, feel free to inform me in the comments below.

Anyways, getting back on track, this is something I could relate to even before playing D&D. This is something any gamer can relate to who walks away from a battle feeling victorious despite the fact that they just spent the last 45 minutes being tossed around the room. I'll admit, though, the satisfaction in surviving in Dungeons is slightly larger than that of video gaming, since the Dungeon Master usually enjoys describing how badly you are losing.

That's where the true beauty of this game really shines.

The Dungeon Master, despite usually being your friend, or at least your acquaintance, kind of wants you to lose, or at least suffer. They designed this adventure, or are keeping it on track, and therefore it is only their wits that keep the players from marching straight into the end objective. So if their wits manage to wrap a tentacle around your throat and throw you through seventeen clay pots, they get a certain amount of satisfaction from that. And when you the player remember you have a golden apple in your inventory, and use that to stay one hp away from certain doom, you get to really boast about your victory.

25 Pick On Someone Your Own Size

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Dwarves are pretty much the butt of every joke. Go watch all of the Lord of the Rings movies and tell me how useful literally any Dwarf is. Literally, every joke in the first three films is at Gimli’s expense, because he thinks he’s so tough despite being fun-sized and hairy. Barbarians in D&D are brutes who can fly into a frenzy of brute strength and savagery. When you combine the two you basically have a tiny package of muscular fury, and it would be ridiculous to actually see. I imagine it would be the fantasy equivalent of seeing one of those tiny dogs barking at a huge Great Dane.

Of course, this meme maker had to try to justify why it isn’t funny to see a tiny person try to fight the shins of a minotaur by pointing out that if they were to head-butt a normal sized person, they would probably bash into your groin. But honestly, if your whole justification for why you should be respected as a tough guy involves combining two cheap shots into one incredibly painful cheat shot, you are probably just probably giving everyone more reasons to think you are lame. Also, nothing screams “desperately uncool” more than the phrase “do not laugh at my rage.”

24 Time Is Funny

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A good playthrough of D&D should be like a good movie or at least a streamlined video game. The boring parts take a second to glance over, and the pertinent information is shoved down your throat forever. So when you travel from some sunny, funny village towards to craggy mountains of Suffersphere, that little jaunt should take no time at all, with the DM giving a brief description of the landscape as it changes, as well as any resources you consumed on the way there. At most, you might pass a traveling salesman, or maybe the DM will covertly tell you to look at that inconspicuous tree over there.

But when the action starts, time slows down to a crawl. You are given ample opportunity to go through your inventory, discuss strategy with your teammates, and quickly go over your stats. All of the stuff you discuss out loud is supposed to be taking place inside the head of your character (I guess) so really you are all functioning at the speed of thought. Potions will be passed back and forth, healing spells will be thrown about willy-nilly, there will be a lot of flips, and of course, there will be so much dice rolling you will grow to resent them.