Magic items in Dungeons & Dragons are often seen as powerful upgrades to a character's abilities. Sometimes they are so powerful they open up an entirely new strategy to a character. But magic items can be much more than artifacts that make your player's characters more powerful. Browsing through the Dungeon Master's Guide, as well as Xanathar's Guide to Everything and other books, one will discover that there are many magic items within the pages of these dusty tomes that lend themselves to all kinds of hijinks.
Many of these are at the expense of the players. As anyone who's been playing Dungeons & Dragons for a while will tell you, the Deck of Many Things is chief among these disastrous devices. But there are also many not-so-menacing options. One thing is for certain: after introducing a few of these magic items into your campaign, your players won't look at magic items the same way again.
Updated by Chris Stomberg on August 22nd, 2022: Magic items are easily the most sought after belongings in all of Dungeons & Dragons. Consequently, they also provide one of the best opportunites to pull one over on your players and give them a good laugh. In a world full of magic and wonder, the sky really is the limit when it comes to creating magic items to give to your players.
While the magic items listed here are hilarious in their own right, don't be shy about iterating on some funny magic items of your own for your players to enjoy. For example, instead of a Broom of Flying, your player characters might find a Broom of Sweeping that only sweeps when someone puts it between their legs. All other attempts made to sweep with the broom result in it spewing bristles in the holder's face, causing them to sneeze uncontrollably for six seconds. Magic items that relate to a party inside joke are especially good hits!
20 The Deck Of Many Things
One of the most iconic items in D&D’s history, the Deck of Many Things is a deck of 22 cards that each have effects that vary greatly in quality.
While some cards in the deck have incredible effects, providing a character with anything from riches to power, other cards can provide disastrous effects, such as permanently reducing a character's Intelligence or even killing a character outright. This makes the deck one of the most unpredictable and risky items in the entirety of D&D.
19 Shield Of Expression
Shields in D&D come in a variety of forms, offering varying levels of defenses, with some allowing for additional effects such as the ability to be wielded without occupying a character’s hands.
However, one of the most unnecessary magic shields in Dungeons & Dragons is undoubtedly the Shield of Expression. It's simply a shield that takes on a face-like appearance, in addition to having the exact same functionality as a normal shield. As a bonus action, a creature holding the shield may alter the shield’s expression. That’s it.
18 Alchemy Jug
On paper, the Alchemy Jug is an item that doesn’t seem too funny. It's able to produce large quantities of useful liquids each given day, potentially producing things like acid, poison, or clean drinking water.
However, what lands this item on this list is its ability to effectively produce infinite amounts of substances such as mayonnaise, honey, and beer. This means that with an Alchemy Jug, a party can hypothetically utilize massive amounts of these substances however they may see fit, as long as they are able to collect the liquids each day.
17 Armor Of Gleaming
Perfect for characters who love to keep up appearances, Armor of Gleaming is a common type of magic armor that can come in various forms, each either of a type of heavy or medium armor.
Providing effectively no actual gameplay improvements over normal armor, Armor of Gleaming has the distinction of not being able to be dirtied, meaning a character wearing a suit of this armor will always be looking their best.
16 Tankard Of Sobriety
Few downtime activities are as synonymous with D&D as a party hanging out in a tavern. Often resulting in several rounds of constitution saving throws, alcohol tends to be as potent in the game (if not moreso) than in reality.
However, for those looking for a way around this, a Tankard of Sobriety is a common wondrous item that exists entirely to negate all alcoholic effects of alcohol within it.
15 Bag Of Devouring
While the most menacing magic item of all is undoubtedly the legendary Deck of Many Things, the Bag of Devouring comes in at a close second. Like the Deck, the bag of devouring is very capable of killing an unsuspecting party.
It takes the shape of a Bag of Holding, hiding its malicious nature like a wolf in sheep's clothing. But, once a player reaches into the bag, there is a 50 percent chance they are pulled inside. Any creature who starts their turn inside the bag is instantly and entirely devoured. Other players may attempt to pull people inside of the bag out, but first, they must avoid being pulled in themselves, and second, they must beat a DC 20 Strength check. Yummy adventurers.
14 Bag Of Tricks
This item is capable of providing a lot of fun, especially for any player who is fond of pets. It can be used three times per day to summon a Fey creature at random by rolling a d8. The creature is friendly to you and obeys your commands.
Players who develop relationships with their Fey-based friends, by giving them names or summoning them as if they were Pokemon, will find this item extremely entertaining. If they're lucky, they'll summon a giant goat into an enclosed space, or roll up a mouse when the party is fighting tigers.
13 Cloak Of Billowing
If you're going to be a hero, you've got to look the part. The way his cloak billows as if blown by hurricane-force winds, how dashing! This is a great item to give to the most vain member of your party.
It simultaneously gives a nod to the character's oversized ego, providing a good laugh for the other players at the table and satisfying the player's need to further inflate said ego. A win for all parties involved.
12 Hat Of Vermin
Pets that like you are cool and all, but what's really all the rage are pets that despise you! The perfect gift for a wizard, druid, or barbarian character, the Hat of Vermin allows its owner to summon a bat, rat, or frog three times per day. Each of these vermin is a critter, so they won't be much help in combat.
Furthermore, the creatures summoned from this hat behave as normal and are not under the summoner's control. On the contrary, they try to get away from you as fast as possible! You could even have vermin spill out of the hat by dungeon master decision, plaguing one of your players with an endless curse of critters.
11 Weapon Of Warning (Sentient)
The Weapon of Warning is an incredibly strong magic item that will prevent your players from ever suffering a surprise round again. However, with an added twist of sentience, this item can also become a fun and memorable companion.
Have the weapon warn the players by screaming a cry for help, repeatedly shouting of incoming danger, or speaking a memorable catchphrase such as "This time, you'll die for sure!" Whatever the weapon says, give it a quirky voice that turns its warnings into a moment of amusement.
10 Wand Of Smiles
Speaking of amusement, the Wand of Smiles will amuse you, your players, and the characters in your game to no end. The charges stowed in this wand can be used to force a character to make a Charisma saving throw. On a failure, they forcibly smile for the next minute.
It's perfect for playing a prank on the campaign's dark and foreboding big bad evil guy, or bringing some levity into an otherwise gloomy situation. There's also a version of the wand that comes in scowls, if smiles don't fit into your party's dynamic. That sounds like a boring party, though.
9 Pipes Of The Sewers
Turn your game's bard into the pied piper. The Pipes of the Sewers allow a character proficient in wind instruments to summon and control a horde of rats.
These pipes could be used in mundane situations such as clearing the rats from the lower holds of a ship for some coin, or more grisly ones like using your three swarms of rats to torture information out of someone. If nothing else, it makes coming up with the party's dinner a simpler task.
8 Sovereign Glue
Talk about a sticky situation. If allowed to set for a duration of one minute, Sovereign Glue sticks anything together. The only way to undo said sticking is through the use of some other magic items. They are called Universal Solvents and Oils of Slipperiness.
The only other way to unstick the items is by using a ninth-level wish spell. Having a character unknowingly discover this glue only to become stuck to something is a comical opening to a quest about finding some way of resolving the issue.
7 Dust Of Sneezing And Choking
If you're a dungeon master with an especially cruel streak, here's an item that will have you licking your lips. The Dust of Sneezing and Choking appears to be the Dust of Invisibility. Even the use of an identify spell will mark the item as such.
In reality, it's something entirely different. When this dust is thrown into the air, each creature within 30 feet must make a DC 15 Constitution saving throw or become unable to breathe and be inflicted with the Incapacitated condition, meaning they lose their actions and bonus actions on their turn. Thus, if used in the midst of combat, the Dust of Sneezing and Choking can be brutally punishing. When your players never trust a word out of your mouth again, don't say we didn't warn you of the consequences.
6 Amulet of the Drunkard
The Amulet of the Drunkard is a small necklace with an image of wheat grains hammered into it. Anyone bearing this amulet can regain a significant amount of health when drinking certain alcoholic beverages. Once used in this manner, the amulet cannot be used this way again until the following day.
There's no doubt that each gaming table has a player character who would take full advantage of this amulet's benefits. After all, drinking and Dungeons & Dragons often mix quite well together. This is the perfect item for the resident Dwarf at your table. Did we say Dwarf? We meant drunkard, but who really knows the difference.
5 Kyrzin's Ooze
This magical goo can be found inside of a jar. A creature who opens the jar and drinks Kyrzin's Ooze gains a number of powerful benefits, including resistance to poison and acid damage, immunity to the Poisoned condition, the ability to squeeze through a space as narrow as one inch, Acid Breath that deals 8d8 acid damage, and the inability to voluntarily end the attunement to your new symbiote ooze friend.
As if all of this were't funny enough, a creature who dies while attuned to the ooze will see their body's orifices explode with gooey outages that engulf the body, as your corpse is turned into a black pudding. It's all fun and games until a player character turns into an ooze and eats whoever made fun of him for having a relationship with a gelatin cube. Even then, it's still kind of fun and games.
4 Orcus Figurine
The Orcus Figurine is a very cool magic item, but the level of hijinks it brings to your game really depends on how your table handles identifying magic items. This is due to the fact that any character who knows what the figurine does is likely to drop it into the next river they cross.
Undead within 30 feet of this sculpture of the Demon Prince of Undeath can't be turned by Clerics, and dead creatures within 30 feet cannot be brought back to life. Additionally, a creature that spends an hour praying to the figurine has a ten percent chance of summoning a wraith that attacks all non-undead creatures it encounters. Unless you're requiring players to cast identify in order to know exactly what a magic item does though, chances are you won't get much fun out of this desecrated statue.
3 Cursed Luckstone
Perhaps one of the greatest items for introducing to a low level party is the Cursed Luckstone. While attuned to this stone, a creature can use it to gain advantage on one ability check per day. However, after using the stone in this way, the creature also suffers Disadvantage on its next two ability checks afterwards.
What makes it a real keeper though is that the stone is incapable of being discarded once someone has attuned to it. No matter where the owner leaves or throws the stone, it will always teleport back into their pocket. This cursed property of the stone can be ended with a Remove Curse spell, but low-level parties who don't have access to such magic, nor the gold to pay a local priest for the rite, will find themselves stuck with the stone for a number of adventures. They might even grow fond of it.
2 Infernal Puzzle Box
An Infernal Puzzle Box is an item that comes from the Nine Hells, and which was originally made to contain and protect signed infernal contracts. These boxes can only be opened by mundane means, though they are quite complicated for being mundane, to say the least. After all, a creature must succeed on a DC 30 Investigation check in order to successfully open one such box.
If they fail this check by five or more, they are forced to make a DC 18 wisdom saving throw and take 12d6 pscyhic damage on a failed save or half on a success. Needless to say, this little puzzle box could be the end of a novice investigator who gets unlucky. Death by rubix cube might not be what your players ever envisioned happening, but that's what makes this item so ridiculous. Even better, you can fill the box with a completely unexpected item, to give your players an additional laugh should they ever succeed in opening it. There's a number of items that come to mind, but we'll leave the rest to your imagination.
1 Bag Of Beans
This magic bag has a small chance to turn your gritty mystery noir-themed campaign into a fantastical fairy tale adventure. The Bag of Beans has a long list of effects, but none of them happen until a bean is planted in the ground, watered, and then allowed to sit for a minute. Monsters may sprout from where the bean was planted, fruits, mushrooms, or eggs could appear, or a giant 60-foot tall pyramid might bud into existence.
There is also the chance a giant beanstalk sprouts forth, climbing into the sky beyond sight. The bag of beans is capable of creating adventures on its own. Any magic item that provides enough content to run an entire session is an object that will force your players to see magic items in a new light. For magic items are not just around to make characters more powerful. You can utilize them to create opportunities for roleplay, build a bigger sense of the world, and aid in the cooperative storytelling that makes Dungeons & Dragons so special.