Elden Ring is the best game I've played so far this year and will almost certainly be the best game I play in all of 2022. But I'm terrified to go back to it.

I started playing FromSoftware's massive RPG back in mid-February, about a week before it launched. It was the last review I took on as a freelancer before starting at TheGamer, so I played as much as I could (about 60 hours), filed my extremely positive review, and kept chugging along on my adventure through the Lands Between.

But, then, I got hit by a combination of roadblocks. I started working full-time and, despite writing about games for my job, had less free time to play games. This development overlapped, in-game, with my decision to take a nap in a coffin and, as a result, come face-to-face with Astel, Naturalborn of the Void. Despite being equipped with the Rotten Breath that made short work of Starscourge Radahn and a health bar stretching halfway across the screen, Astel, a spider-like monstrosity living deep beneath the surface of the Lands Between, was taking me out in just a few hits.

RELATED: Elden Ring's Radahn Is Miyazaki's Favorite Elden Ring Boss

So, I set the game down, planning to come back to it the next day. Oops, two months have passed.

This happened with Bloodborne, too. Despite considering FromSoft's Lovecraftian horror game an all-time favorite I fell off before I finished it. There's a fine line between "This boss is frustrating me. I should take a break, calm down, and come back later." and "Wow, it's been a year since I touched that game. Guess I'll never finish it." With Elden Ring, I am on the precipice. I could load the game back up, explore a bit, take on some low-level enemies, and gradually get back in the habit of blocking, parrying, and rolling around at the speed of sound. Or, I could, you know, keep doing what I've been doing: not playing the game.

the hunters nightmare bloodborne

Some games have an irresistible pull for me. When I pick up a new game from a developer whose work I enjoy like Naughty Dog or Valve, or a new entry in a favorite series like Zelda or Mario, I know I won't stop playing until I see credits. But, with FromSoftware's games, there's a certain amount of inertia I need to overcome. On the plus side, I will keep playing a FromSoftware joint unless acted upon by an outside force. I dropped Bloodborne because I needed to spend time with other games for work. I dropped Elden Ring because I was acclimating to a new job. When this happens, and I spend enough time at rest, not striving to maintain my Starscourge-slaying skills, it becomes incredibly difficult to get back in motion again.

That's where I am right now. Elden Ring is one of the best open-world games I've ever played. It has extraordinary combat, an intricately designed yet expansive world, and an opaque story that I, nonetheless, want to see through to the end. But, I could just play something that isn't going to kick my ass.

A few years ago, an article went viral in which a journalist talked about using a PC mod to play Sekiro: Shadows Die Twice at half-speed. If you've ever heard someone say, "You cheated not only the game, but yourself," you're familiar with the kind of response that journalist received in response to doing something gamers have been doing since time immemorial — using cheat codes. That Git Gud mentality is stupid and people who espouse it should feel bad. I would happily install some mods if it meant that I could see a great game like Elden Ring through to the end. Unfortunately, I'm playing on PS5 where cheating the game and myself is not an option.

elden ring valiant gargoyle 2x1

So, what's a fella to do?

The way I see it there are two options: a) I can give up on the idea that I will ever beat Elden Ring, or b) I can commit with my whole heart to returning to the Lands Between, and refuse to leave until I have been crowned Elden Lord. There are pros and cons either way. If I give up, I will avoid the boss fights that I know await me which will almost certainly make me controller-throwingly angry. On the other hand, I will miss out on experiencing more of a game I think is incredible (and look like a poser when I inevitably select it as my game of the year).

But, if I commit to finishing Elden Ring, I will need to play it regularly to see it through to the end. It may not be the only game I play, but it will be the one I most consistently need to make time for. But, if I commit to finishing it, I will come out the other side feeling slightly better about myself for making myself do something difficult. Does it matter much in the long run? No. I don’t care about getting good. But, I do care about not living in fear. And that’s why, I have just decided, I will return to Elden Ring and destroy every enemy that stands in my way. I'll see you on the other side.

NEXT: Dark Souls Is About Capitalism, So What The Hell Is Going On In Elden Ring?