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Family Guy: 25 Things About Peter That Make No Sense

What else can you say about Family Guy? The beloved animated comedy has risen to the top of adult orientated cartoon entertainment alongside huge ones like The Simpsons and South Park. Much has been written on TheGamer about Family Guy and its quirky and nonsensical comedic style, with its crazy storylines and characters. However, in this article, we’re going to focus on one of the most beloved characters in the series, Peter Griffin.

The patriarch of the Griffin household, who is generally considered the show’s main protagonist, Peter is more than able to hold his own and stand out among a cast of unique and memorable characters. Peter’s strengths as a comedic persona lie in his detriments as a person: his unyielding stupidity, irrational, impulsive behavior, and blatant ignorance mean that he finds himself in ridiculous situations on a regular basis, spouting hilarious one-liners which lead to some of the most random cut-away gags in the series.

All this means that Peter’s personal detriments become benefits for those writing the scripts, and of course for those of us watching the program. The random nature of Peter’s antics and his musings are what make him such a funny guy, and a huge part of the reason why we love to watch him. In this article, we are going to list some of the funniest and most nonsensical facts about Peter Griffin.

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25 Petarded

Via familyguy.wikia.com

Outrageously offensive or outrageously funny depending on who you ask, this Season 4 episode of the show is just as stupid and devoid of morality as it sounds. When Lois, Brian, and some family friends let Peter win a game of trivial pursuit by giving him ridiculously easy questions, such as “what color is a fire truck?” (“Fire trucks, fire trucks… what color are those red fire trucks?”), he becomes unbearably arrogant, suddenly thinking that he is a genius (which would be an overestimation of one’s intelligence had he even won a real round of the actual game).

Wanting to put this false notion to bed, Brian convinces Peter to take the Mensa exam to prove that he’s a genius.

Naturally, Peter doesn’t pass the exam. However, he fails it so dramatically that the test actually says that he’s technically disabled. This leads to signs being put up outside his house, armbands being worn at dinner time, and calls to ex-partners recommending that they get “tested.”

This episode marked a shift for the show, a point where Peter went from being completely incompetent and highly unintelligent to borderline brain-dead, doing things even he wouldn’t normally do; and although it made for some entertaining television, it felt like Peter’s character changed simply to fit the new narrative, a move which was shallow and pedantic.

24 Perfect Castaway

Via imdb.com

The Season 4 episode “Perfect Castaways” sees Peter firing his two Portuguese fishing assistants Santos and Pasqual in order to save money. As if that isn’t bad enough, Peter decides to brave the seas unguided in search of fish, with his three pals Joe, Quagmire, and Cleveland in tow.

They find a bounty of fish waiting to be, well, fished, only to be swept up in a terrible hurricane, and subsequently marooned on a desert island. Stranded there for months, Peter survives the ordeal by eating legs, and when the group is finally rescued by a cruise ship passing by, they are all engaged in weird stuff.

That Joe cannot feel Peter eating legs makes sense, but it's just ridiculous how far Peter managed to get before Joe noticed half his legs were missing. And the fact that the group engaged in that sort of activity, in spite of their situation, is crazy too.

When he is reunited with his family, it turns out that Lois has married Brian in his absence. In less than a year, a woman who loves her husband has married the family dog, a dog whose advances she had repelled multiple times, in an inactive marriage. Very little loyalty or common sense on display here!

23 Peter Priest

Via tbs.com

In the Season 4 episode “The Father the Son and the Holy Fonz,” Peter finds himself yet again disillusioned with Catholicism and in search of a new faith. With more conventional religions like Judaism, Buddhism, and Islam unsatisfactory, Peter does the most logical thing, or at least the most logical thing in his crazy mind... he forms his own religion, based around the hit television show Happy Days; the Fonz in particular.

Filled with architecture, hymns, and psalms all dedicated to the iconic American television program, the pews are filled from the front of the church to the back with those willing to hear the sacred words of Arthur “Fonz” Fonzarelli. Again, this is an example of Peter’s world inexplicably bending to his whim in a venture which makes no sense on any level, but succeeds in spite of itself until he himself manages to mess it up.

At least, unlike in the ‘Messiah’ entry on this list, Peter doesn’t actually see himself as a deity.

That being said, the fact that he thinks he can form his own religion out of nothing, and expect to enlighten the masses with total nonsense is extremely arrogant and misguided. But again, we don’t know who’s more to blame: Peter or those who enable him.

22 Playing Chicken

Via knowyourmeme.com

In the Season 2 episode “Da Boom,” we are introduced to Ernie the Giant Chicken, one of the most iconic recurring characters in the series’ history. Although not actually appearing in the episode, Peter has a flashback prompted when a man in a giant chicken suit offers him a coupon. He refuses, saying that he had a bad experience with taking coupons from giant chickens.

Cue one of the greatest fight scenes ever seen in animated history: an epic showdown taking place across a variety of errors with Peter eventually managing to vanquish his foe (only to see those evil chicken eyes opening as Peter walks off into the sunset).

Since this episode, there have been more than a half dozen battles between Peter and his poultry friend, each one more ridiculous than the last. Perhaps the most outrageous is the one that takes place in the Season 5 episode “No Chris Left Behind,” when the two of them realize how ridiculous their fighting each other is, and settle it over dinner... only to have them squabble over who pays the bill and start fighting again!

All of this over an expired coupon? C’mon, Peter, let it go, especially considering that Ernie is incapable of being defeated!

21 Hates Meg

Via imgflip.com

We all know about one of the longest and most inexplicable running gags in the whole show, and that is Peter’s malice towards his daughter Meg. Over the last 16 seasons, Peter has spent much of the show’s run mistreating her, making jokes at her expense, holding her to a different standard and, in some cases, using violence towards her.

Peter seemed to have a very loving relationship with his daughter during the programs initial three-season run, teaching her how to drive, consoling her when she doesn’t make the cheerleading squad, and ensuring that she’s there for Stewie’s first birthday. Although he took shots at her from time to time, it was never out of character or any worse than what other’s received.

Then comes Season 4, and the dynamic switched. Perhaps beginning with the episode “In the Name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Fonz” from that season when a cutaway gag shows Peter being aggressive to her, her character never regained her dignity, having been subjected to countless slights, insults, and assaults since.

What’s bemusing is how no explanation was given as to why this happened, and how Peter went from a loving if clueless father to a terrible and deliberately malicious one.

20 Petoria

Via youtube.com

Going from an assembly line worker to the President of a country which you founded is quite a promotion, but somehow Peter managed to find himself in this enviable position in the Season 2 episode “E. Peterbus Unum.” When all his friends and neighbors receive a tax refund (a refund which they all spent wisely, of course, especially Quagmire who purchased himself a friendship doll) Peter is upset when he doesn’t receive one too. Curious and outraged, he heads to the Mayor’s office and asks Adam West why he didn’t get any money.

The reason? Peter’s house, and only Peter’s house, is not technically part of the United States. Feeling betrayed by his now former government, Peter decides to form his own union on his non-American soil, which he aptly titles ‘Petoria.’ That he was able to do this, or that his house and his house alone would be foreign soil within the US is crazy enough, but how Peter manages to mess up his circumstance and diplomatic immunity is even crazier. He annexes neighbor Joe’s pool, invites a slew of dictators over to his house, and wages war with the US government. That his only punishment was disbanding the union and re-integrating into America is astounding!

19 The Author

Via kodiapps.com

When Peter and his friends go into a bookstore in a Season 4 episode, and he picks up a book with stories, he is disappointed by what he reads; neither exciting nor well written, it fails to meet Peter’s suddenly high standards in literary quality and doesn’t sufficiently excite him when he reads it.

Upset by what he has read, he decides to write a letter to the author, including a sample of what he would have written.

The sample is, of course, terrible, but Peter feels emboldened nonetheless; so much so that he makes a few copies and gives them to his friends. Unbelievably, his friends love it, and Peter sets about trying to get his work published.

Looking for a loan to make his dream a reality, his father-in-law Carter (who incidentally despises his son-in-law) loans him $5 to make the photocopies. Narrated by Betty White, a man listening to the audiobook version of Peter’s opus crashes his car, leading to Carter (who technically published the book) being sued as liable.

There are more questions here than answers. Firstly, why does the public at large not only accept but laud Peter’s book? Also, why does Carter, a shrewd businessman who cannot stand Peter, even give him the $5 to publish the books and put himself in this position? And why did Betty White agree to narrate it?

18 Peter Becomes President (Again…)

Via tbs.com

As if being president once wasn’t enough, buffoon Peter somehow manages to find himself in this prestigious position twice in his lifetime. However, instead of being the de-facto president of his own nation, he becomes the head honcho of the El Dorado Cigarette Company.

This all happens in the Season 3 episode “Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington,” when said company buys out Peter’s old employer Mr. Weed and his Happy Go Lucky Toy Factory. The employees at the factory retain their jobs, and are bowled over by the new perks they receive by their new employer, and thus willing to overlook the fact that they peddle disease-inducing poison to the public.

When Peter’s family sees the toys and advertisements that the company is putting out, it is clear to them that they are trying to get children to start smoking (the doll “Baby Smokes-A-Lot” would be a clear indicator). Peter brings this up to his bosses, who make him president of the company to keep him pacified.

The concept is simple, but why did no one else in the company bring this to the attention of their new bosses? Surely it wouldn’t be left to Peter, probably one of, if not the most, dimwitted members of staff!

17 Stem Cell Miracle

Via knowyourmeme.com

If there’s one thing we know about Peter, its that he’s a lazy glutton. We all like to indulge from time to time but Peter takes this to a new extreme in the Season 6 episode “McStroke.” Upon winning an unlimited supply of McBurgerTown burgers, Peter does what you expect him to do: devour an outrageous amount of burgers until he suffers from a catastrophic health problem.

This health problem comes in the form of a stroke, which Peter suffers while eating one of the burgers. Paralyzing half his body, Peter attempts and struggles to do everyday things while suffering from the paralysis, including driving a car (with bad results).

Fed up with his current condition, Peter shuffles into a stem cell research clinic, from which he emerges five minutes later completely cured, exclaiming: “Why aren’t we funding this?!”

It can take stem cell therapy up to 3 weeks to work, and knowing Peter’s work ethic and penchant for hurting himself, chances are it’d take him much longer than a few weeks to recover, after which he’d probably eat himself into a similar situation!

16 Messiah

Via pogdesign.co.uk

In the Season 2 episode “If I’m Lyin’, I’m Dyin’,” Peter and his son Chris become obsessed with a weekly television drama Gumble 2 Gumble, a show about two brothers, Bryant and Greg Gumble, who are cops chasing down bad guys. When the show is taken off the air, Peter is determined to get it back on television.

How does he go about this? Well, he goes to a Grant A Dream foundation and claims that Chris is dying of a rare disease called “tumasyphilisitisosis” which causes things to grow all over his body (they were actually pepperonis.) A scandalous endeavor which miraculously works; however, when the Grant A Wish foundation comes to the Griffin household to see Chris who should’ve passed on, Peter needs to come up with an excuse.

His solution? Claim that he healed the child himself.

All of this leads to Peter getting his show back on the air, a group of fanatics worshipping him like a god, and a few plagues being cast upon the Griffin household in a wrathful response from a higher power.

How Peter managed to take it this far is beyond me, surely the people in the charity should’ve seen through his son’s “illness;” maybe they’re as stupid as him!

15 Director

Via familyguy.wikia.com

Oftentimes on this list you will see entries that take issue as much with the world Peter inhabits and its response to his antics as opposed to the actual antics themselves, or his idiosyncrasies, and this is most certainly one of those entries. When Lois is appointed the director of the Quahog Player theatre group, she elects to direct The King & I by Rodgers and Hammerstein.

Peter, who is jealous of the attention that Lois is receiving and feels left out, is given the title of producer by his wife, to satisfy his ego and keep him occupied. However, taking his role literally, Peter start tinkering with the script and the casting, hiring new actors and changing the script into a sci-fi action abomination.

That Peter would change the character of Anna into a robot called “Automated Nuclear Neo-Human Android” and cast himself in the role is not surprising, that he would bring in local celebrity Diane Simmons into the fold for no reason isn’t either. That the cast would, for the most part, go along with the changes is. What’s worse, the audience loves Peter’s mangled version of the musical, proving again that there is no accounting for taste in the city of Quohag.

14 A Wealthy Man

Via tbs.com

When Lois’ aunt Marguerite passes, she leaves her favorite niece her summer home, a lavish mansion called Cherrywood Manor in Newport, Rhode Island. Inspired by the decadent surroundings, Peter sells the family home without consulting his wife and sets out to fit in with his wealthy in-laws.

Unimpressed with his blue-collar background, vulgar humor, and lack of tact, Peter seeks out Brian, the most refined member of the family (bar Stewie, whom he cannot understand… sometimes), to teach him how to be a gentleman.

Amazingly, it works, and Peter turns into an over the top snob, complete with a fancy dress suit and terrible French.

However, Peter gets himself into trouble when he bids 100 million dollars on a 17th-century vase at an auction, as neither Peter nor his new manor is worth nearly a tenth of a billion dollars. In the end, Peter discovers a box of photographs showing that Cherrywood Manor was actually a place with a clientele of former presidents, which gives him enough money to pay for the vase and buy back their old house. What is probably more ridiculous than all those presidents willing to have their photos taken in that kind of uncompromising position and them being worth that much money is how quickly Lois’ family and acquaintances were willing to suddenly accept Peter, and why Peter went out of his way to impress them I’ll never know…

13 There’s Something About Connie…

Via imdb.com

In the Season 2 episode “Let’s All Go To The Hop,” Peter decides to infiltrate James Woods High School to tackle an epidemic of students getting high by licking toads. In order to do this, Peter disguises himself as Lando Griffin, a teenage transfer into the high school who befriends the popular kids to help influence them, and by extension the rest of the student body, not to lick the toads (including a catchy Grease rip-off song and dance).

After he manages to dissuade the children from bad behavior, he takes it a step further by taking popular girl Connie D’Amico to the student dance. Which is even more disturbing than taking his own daughter to the dance, which was his original intention before dumping her for Connie.

The whole rationale behind Peter’s decision to take his role as Lando a step further into unfathomably creepy territory is due to the fact that Connie represented his high school crush, Phoebe, allowing Peter to live vicariously through, well… himself.

Why Peter, a stupid but not particularly amoral man, would willingly go out with this girl while simultaneously breaking his daughter's heart is baffling. How the kids didn’t catch on, or recognize one of their classmate’s fathers, is even crazier.

12 Converting Peter

Via familyguy.wikia.com

When Peter blows all of Lois’ rainy day fund money on “Volcano Insurance” in the Season 3 finale “When You Wish Upon A Weinstein,” his wife is naturally furious, especially considering the fact that their favorite daughter Meg needs a new pair of glasses.

When he hears Cleveland and Quagmire talking about their accountants saving them money, Peter has a revelation: he needs to find a Jewish person to solve his financial woes (not just an accountant or a businessman). He comes across Max Weinstein, who just happens to be an accountant, who helps Peter balance his checkbook, and also immerses Peter and his family in Jewish culture, taking them to a synagogue.

After all this, Peter has another revelation (he should really do the opposite of what his brain tells him to): he must convert his son to Judaism, and get him bar mitzvahed so he can be more successful and have a better grasp of his finances in his adult life.

Learning nothing from his encounter with Max (that it takes education and common sense, not religious conversion, to ensure good money management) Peter dives straight into the irrational and abandons his own faith while simultaneously stereotyping another.

11 Friends Of The 42nd

Via youtube.com (crusher21)

We’re talking presidents again here, except this time it’s not Peter being elected to a position he is wholly unqualified for, or compromising pictures, but a real former sitting president of the United States in the flesh (although not in the voice actors' booth).

In typical Family Guy fashion, Peter befriends former president Bill Clinton, who encourages Peter to do a litany of childish and antisocial activities like play arcade games, smoke some cigarettes, and steal livestock. Believing Clinton to be a bad influence on her husband, Lois wants to cause a rift between the new besties, but ends up getting close with Clinton instead.

Peter is naturally heartbroken at the betrayal suffered at the hands of both his friend and his wife whom he loves. To make amends, Lois tells Peter that he can hang out with whoever he likes to even the score with her. Amazingly, he chooses Lois’ mother, and amazingly he is unable to go through with it. Recognising the main issue, Peter decides to confront Bill Clinton in an attempt to receive closure over the whole incident. Amazingly, he ends up reconciling with Bill.

Where to begin… actually, nowhere, we’re just going to let all that information simmer in your by now scarred mind…

10 Making Movies

Via familyguy.wikia.com

In many ways, you have to hand it to Peter. Over the years, he’s built up an impressive and diverse resume through blind determination and persistence even in the face of overwhelming odds and lack of logic. So, with this entry, you can also add “film director” down on the CV. Inspired by a chick flick that Lois brought her husband to see with her in the Season 5 episode “Chick Cancer,” and the emotions it stirred within him, Peter writes and directs a movie, a movie which he hopes will elicit those same responses from his friends an peers.

The major difference, however, between this venture and most of the others on this list is that, unlike his foray into the world of theatre, his efforts this time were panned viciously by all those who saw the film... including many, like Joe, who was actually in it.

With a title I cannot mention here and a storyline which… I also cannot mention here, Peter’s tragic romance is littered with story errors, offensive rhetoric, and appalling special effects. Naturally, for us, the sight of Joe’s Photoshopped legs rushing to bring an unconscious Lois to the hospital is hilarious, however this time it seems as if the people of Quahog may have finally come to their senses as they fail to see the funny side.

9 Framed Meg

Via basementrejects.com

Back in the Season 1 episode “I Never Met A Dead Man”, Meg attempts to coerce her father into giving her a driving lesson. Only able to pull him away from his television, which he is addicted to, during a commercial break Peter finally acquiesces and takes his daughter out. While rushing home to catch a new show (Fast Animals, Slow Children) Peter crashes the car into the Quahog Broadcasting Tower, knocking out television for the whole town.

Terrified at the prospect of absorbing the wrath of the townspeople, Peter convinces Meg to take the fall, promising her a convertible if she does. That he blackmailed and allowed his daughter to do this is abhorrent, but believable, but the excuse given, that Meg “lost her arm in Vietnam,” is a further example of the stupidity of the townspeople.

What is unprecedented though is how Peter not only adjusted to life without television but actually swore off it even when it was restored in the town.

Amidst all this, Peter manages to befriend William Shatner, and when Meg, driving in the rain, hits both Shatner and her father, Peter becomes addicted to television once again while recovering in a hospital. Classic old episode, but makes no sense whatsoever.

8 Peter Pirate

Via youtube.com (TBS)

In Season 6, while bringing Brian to the vet, Peter finds a parrot in the waiting room. Peter, with a total disregard for the potential consequences, steals the parrot, becoming totally enamored with him. His friends, seeing Peter’s latest obsession, encourage him to dress up and act more like a pirate which, of course, he does.

Taking his new role seriously, Peter goes out and, again, with a total disregard for the potential consequences (we have to say, we can hardly blame him at this point), robs an Englishman’s car filled with tobacco, spices, and sugarcane in an old-fashioned pillaging (excusing the whole automobile thing!). A high-speed chase ensues, with Peter’s parrot being hit resulting in its passing.

Again this is an example of Peter’s lack of sense intermingling with his friends’ unbelievable enabling of his shenanigans. When Peter stole that parrot, his friends should have discourage any escalation of antics. Instead, they were all involved in grand theft auto, theft, and intent to do serious bodily harm. And of course, Peter got away scot free as always. Maybe next time guys, just suggest that Peter return the animal!

7 To The Hindenpeter!

Via familyguy.wikia.com

During the Season 4 episode “The Cleveland-Loretta Quagmire,” Quagmire has an interest in close friend Cleveland’s wife Loretta. In the aftermath of this, Quagmire suffers from incredible guilt, Cleveland suppresses his normally calm demeanor and attempts to destroy Quagmire, and the friend dynamic of Spooner Street is fragmented forever.

However, the star of the episode is Peter’s ownership of two aircraft: The Petercopter and The Hindenpeter.

Occurring during the chaos of the drama unfolding around him, Peter boards both the Petercopter and the Hindenpeter at different intervals of the episode, crashing both of them into Joe’s garden.

In many ways, these two small snippets of an episode with a much larger theme embody what makes Peter Griffin so funny, outrageous, stupid, and, of course, nonsensical. As Joe asks after he crashes the Hindenpeter: “HOW CAN YOU AFFORD THESE THINGS?!” A great question, Joe. Other great question? How did Peter learn to fly both a helicopter and a zeppelin? Where did he store them? How did he get in the vehicles, take off and gain altitude so quickly? How did he manage not to hurt himself or others during the crashes?

We don’t know. But, honestly, we love you, Peter!

6 Here, Tom Selleck

Via youtube.com (handofzeus0207)

Okay, so maybe Peter was somewhat challenged before that other episode. In the Season 2 episode “Da Boom,” in a cutaway gag which Seth MacFarlane has said is his all-time favorite in the series, Peter can be seen trying to feed beans to Tom Selleck, who's playing Thomas Magnum in the hit show Magnum P.I., through his television.

On his knees in front of the screen, Peter spoon feeds Tom Selleck his beans with a spoon, encouraging the actor by saying “Here, Tom Selleck, come on, down the hatch,” only to have the beans smear across the glass screen display (remember, this episode aired in 1999, before LCD screens and when hard CRT televisions were still the norm).

When Magnum’s ally Higgins appears on the screen unprompted (because, well, it’s a television show), Peter is upset, and scolds the fictional character: “No, not for you Higgins, trying to steal Tom Selleck’s food… you’ve had yours!”

It’s a hilarious moment, and one that sums up the randomness of Family Guy and Peter’s humor, so ridiculous I decided to include it. For example, why is Peter only willing to feed Selleck, and when did he feed Higgins before? There are a few moments like this, but MacFarlane’s affinity for this particular scene is why it makes this list.

5 Running Mates

Via familyguy.wikia.com

Not content with stealing her thunder as director of the Quahog Players group, in the Season 2 episode “Running Mates” Peter also tries to muscle in on his wife’s quest to become president of the student board at James Woods High School.

His motivation for doing so again stems from irrationality: Peter’s old science teacher Mr. Fargus is fired for dropping the eggs of an endangered condor species off of the roof of the high school instead of chicken eggs as is the tradition (ironically due to Peter telling him to stop taking his medication). When it looks like Lois is going to win the election by default, Peter insists that she have him reinstated, when she refuses Peter vows to run against her and beat her so he can get him his job back.

Because this is Quahog, and because Peter used a photograph of Lois to help sway voters to his side, Peter gets elected to yet another presidential position.

Naturally, he messes up (you saw this coming, didn’t you?) and his disregard for the student body of the high school and his wife’s dignity did not seem to matter to the voters. Some people just never learn…

4 Running Back

Via autocar-info.cf

Peter’s evident problem, lack of fitness, and poor decision making would make him an unlikely candidate for a professional athlete, but lo and behold he become a professional athlete he did in the Season 4 episode “Patriot Games.” While attending a school reunion, Peter has too many (again, remember, problem), and is in a race against time to reach the bathroom to throw up those dozen or so he plowed through. In doing so, he plows through a dozen or so school alumni on the way to the little boys' room.

Tom Brady, who just happens to be at the reunion, notices his ability to run through people and asks him to play running back for the New England Patriots. Forget the combine, forget the training camp, forget who was the Patriots' running back at the time, and forget his lack of experience, fitness, or athleticism... Peter took to his role as the halfback for the most successful NFL franchise of the 21st Century in stride, scoring touchdowns and even eliciting spontaneous singing and dancing from the fans, of which he was becoming a favorite. When he eventually got the sack, it was, incredibly, for show-boating, and not for any of the previously aforementioned deficits.

3 Flying Around

Via imdb.com

Peter’s neighbor Quagmire, aside from being a renowned ladies man and general deviant, is also a respectable pilot with years of experience. Being neighbors and longtime pals, Peter should be at least somewhat aware of his friend's profession, having a basic understanding of how flying an airplane works. Likewise, Quagmire should be fully aware of Peter’s lack of common sense and the disastrous results that come about as a result. When Peter siphons gas from Quagmire’s airplane because he believes it’ll allow him to fly his newly acquired pick up truck (again, notions…), he is forced to make an emergency landing. In spite of his skill in avoiding any fatalities, he still loses his job, all thanks to his friend.

Wanting to do right by Quagmire, Peter hatches an ingenious plan to change his reputation in the court of public opinion. Booking a flight for him and Quagmire, he knocks out the pilots, hoping that Quagmire would jump in and save the day. The only problem is, Quagmire misses the flight, meaning that there’s no one there to land it. Quagmire still saves the day, however, when after a pep-talk from Hugh Hefner he instructs Peter how to land the plane via radio. No ramifications for terrorism, then… well, it’s the thought that counts!

2 Father To Daughter

Via fanpop.com

In the Season 4 episode "The Griffin Family History," Peter regales his wife and children with crazy stories from his family history. In these stories, he details everything from prehistoric Griffins to silent movie stars to a close ally of a certain World War II tyrant.

These flashbacks are prompted when a band of thieves breaks into the Griffin family home and Peter locks them into a panic room he built himself (something which could warrant its very own entry here)! But before that ridiculous moment even occurs, Meg comes out when she hears all the commotion, approaches her family, and begins asking what's going on.

A good 6 seconds pass by before Peter cracks her with the baseball bat he's holding, claiming that she "startled him."

Now, we know Peter takes an irrational disliking to his daughter at the best of times, but even for him, this is excessive! It's hard to imagine that he would be so callous towards her, and even though we discussed previously that his mental capacities are not all there, surely six seconds is long enough to register who is in front of him! Meg really can't catch a break in this show, it seems.

1 Kid Joe

via: youtube.com

Okay, okay, so you could probably argue this either way, but just hear me out on this one! In the Season 3 episode “Family Guy Viewer Mail #1,” “fans” sent in letters to the Griffin family suggesting ideas for episodes. There were three ideas: one where Peter has no bones, one where the Griffins all have superpowers (with Meg having the “power” to grow long nails), and one where Peter and his pals are all five years old.

That the first two are farcical goes without saying, however, it's the final segment “Lil’ Griffins” that I have the problem with. Set around Peter and his friends, that they are five is not the issue; the issue is that Joe is one of his friends in the episode. The reason that this is a problem is that while Peter’s friendship with Quagmire and Cleveland pre-date the show, he only met Joe for the first time in the Season 1 episode “A Hero Sits Next Door” when they became neighbors. Also, in “Lil’ Griffins,” Joe is paralyzed, while in his debut episode he tells the story of how he became disabled while serving on the police force as an adult.

I know it’s a hypothetical and it’s about Joe, but heck, the episode is centered around Peter and it makes no sense!

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