Without Stewie in the picture, Family Guy is a delightful show. The humor is on point (most of the time) and the occasional show tune thrown in every now and then gives Family Guy its own unique flair. But with the addition of Stewie, Family Guy becomes what it is today, one of the top adult cartoons in history, set to match wits with The Simpsons. Am I exaggerating by saying that the inclusion of Stewie in the family dynamic is what makes the show so great? Try picturing the show without him then. Yeah, that's what I thought.

For those of you who need a quick reminder as to who Stewie is, he is the villainous-minded and witty infant of the family. He hatches schemes quicker than a chicken lays eggs. He adds a whole new dimension to Family Guy. What could just be an endless cycle of tales about a dysfunctional family gets boosted into realms of science fiction when you have a mad genius for a baby. Plus the fact that he can talk more intelligently than his whole family combined really ups the quality of insults he can deliver.

Family Guy makes its own sort of sense, but if we were to compare the in-show occurrences to what occurs in real life, we would quickly realize that the show strays far from reality. And a lot of that straying can be laid at the feet of the inimitable Stewie Griffin. Read on if you want to check out all the ways that Stewie makes little to no sense, all in the name of humor.

25 A Family With The Family Dog

via: youtube.com (Christopher Jamgotchian)

Throughout the show, we can observe how close Stewie and Brian are to each other. Despite being an infant and a dog respectively, only they can really match wits with each other.

When Stewie feels that their relationship is slipping, he decides to put Brian's DNA in him so that they can have children together and therefore become closer. Don't even begin to ask me how a one-year-old male baby could give birth to a litter of puppies. I still don't know.

24 His Accent Was All A Lie

via: youtube.com (LeBird)

For the longest time, we've known Stewie to have a snooty British accent. (I'm not saying British accents are snooty; I'm saying Stewie's specifically is.) We always accepted this as a part of Stewie's character, but a recent episode called "Send in Stewie, Please" revealed that Stewie's been faking his British accent this whole time.

This was an earth-shattering revelation. How could a baby know how to fake a British accent? And why would he want to?

23 Words Softly Spoken

via: fanpop.com

I suppose if we're going to nitpick on the fact that Stewie has a British accent, we should also address the elephant in the room. Despite being an infant, Stewie has a vocabulary that would rival most high school students'.

There are rules in cartoons that you should simply accept the fact that creatures that don't normally converse are suddenly able to. It still does not make sense that Stewie can speak the way he does. For one thing, where did he learn his high-level diction with a father like Peter Griffin?

22 Big Brain, Small Baby

via: familyguy.wikia.com

More than any other character we've seen on the show, Stewie displays an above average intelligence. Stewie talking is nothing in the face of his brain power.

If Stewie wanted to, he could hold discourse with Albert Einstein on the theory of relativity. Seriously, Stewie could literally do that. Stewie is so smart that he could build a machine that travels through space and time, go back to when Albert Einstein was still alive, and then have a debate with him.

21 Abnormal Head Damage

via: youtube.com (Ahri)

Family Guy is a cartoon. We understand that humans are drawn in unrealistic shapes in cartoons. But the shape of Stewie's head is no longer canonically normal. We all took his football head for granted until the episode where we learned how he got it.

One day, when Brian was supposed to be looking after him, Stewie jumped too high on the bed, hit his head on the ceiling, and flattened it into the shape we now see. How could he have survived having his head messed with like that?

20 Infant's Best Friend

via: heroicbiz.com

The one person (or should I say animal) that Stewie connects to the most is the family dog, Brian. They spend more time with each other than they do with any other member of the family.

But how is it possible that Stewie can talk to a dog?

I suppose this is a nitpick on Brian more than it is on Stewie. Still, it's strange how these two can make the best of friends when they are so far removed from each other species-wise. I guess we shouldn't be surprised that the two outliers of the family connected with each other.

19 Making The Imaginary Real

via: youtube.com (Glenn Quagmire Son)

Stewie is a smart tyke. That has been firmly established. So it amazes me that he still believes in Santa Claus. True, Santa Claus does exist in the Family Guy universe, but Stewie believed in his existence prior to having confirmation that he was real. That is unlike the Stewie we know.

It is moments like these that remind you that Stewie is still a child, prone to fantastical beliefs and a stubbornness in adhering to them. It's a shame Stewie wanted to eradicate Santa from the face of the North Pole though.

18 Shiny Rights Everywhere

via: youtube.com (Grrrrreg17)

Gun control is a sticky issue in US society, but I think it is widely agreed by all that one-year-old infants should not be allowed to get their tiny hands on weapons of such caliber. That doesn't stop Stewie Griffin. He is frequently seen in possession of firearms, including, at one point, a sniper rifle.

How does no one stop him? Is he making these guns himself? If not, who is the seller responsible for allowing Stewie to purchase them? Where is the sanity in Family Guy's world? (Probably out the window.)

17 Showtune Stewie

via: tbs.com

One of my personal favorite aspects of Family Guy is its proclivity to throw in song-and-dance numbers whenever possible. Call me crazy, but I love that big band feel. Stewie happily obliges me frequently in that regard. He will hop on a stage and sing along with Brian.

What is immensely nonsensical is how deep Stewie's voice can go and how professional he sounds. Stewie comes across as a person who has spent their entire life practicing to sing. (Cough, cough, Seth MacFarlane.)

16 My Teddy Rupert

via: youtube.com (QualityClips)

For a baby bent on world domination, Stewie has a strange attachment to his teddy bear, whom he fondly calls Rupert. Stewie spends most of his time with Rupert. He talks at length about his plans to Rupert, holds conversations with Rupert, and occasionally evinces a more romantic connection with Rupert.

I've encountered children who are attached to their stuffed animals in real life. Stewie takes it to a whole other level when it comes to his teddy bear.

15 Stealing A Smooch

via: youtube.com

No other infant experiences the problems that Stewie does. Of course, Stewie often brings these problems down on his own head. Filled with a desire to feel love in the '60s, Stewie travels back in time and falls for another baby girl. He kisses her ardently after pursuing her.

Lo and behold, that little girl ends up being baby Lois, Stewie's future mother.

It makes little to no sense that such a thing could happen, but leave it to Stewie to create a situation even more awkward than Marty McFly's in Back to the Future. 

14 No Other Birthdays

via: youtube.com (Erika A. Sandersrww)

Aside from Stewie's first birthday, we have yet to witness any other birthdays celebrated in Stewie's name. It is as if Stewie is perpetually one year old forever. Think about it. There have been seventeen seasons of Family Guy released. If time were progressing normally in this cartoon, Stewie should be in high school by now.

Instead, he is still kept to a high chair for meals, sleeps in a crib, and enjoys milk from a bottle. Granted, we've seen him go to preschool, but how long will that last?

13 Rolling In Dough

via: youtube.com (docren.com)

For a baby who craves simple things like apple juice and an engaging playpen, Stewie never seems to have an empty wallet.

Where does he get his money from?

At one point, when Brian is running low on cash, Stewie is the one who gives Brian a loan. (Stewie is also the one who goes ballistic when Brian is late in returning the money.) I actually shudder when I imagine how Stewie is making so much money. I can only hope it is by doing something innocuous like a bank robbery.

12 Joining The Work Force

via: youtube.com (Howard Stephen Posadas Ardon)

Perhaps one of the ways Stewie contributes to his own personal fund is by having a job. We've seen him do it. Wait...what? How can an infant have a job? The physical skills necessary to carry out some careers are unavailable to Stewie. Plus, what right-minded superior would hire him?

Another thing to puzzle over is Stewie's parents. Peter might be oblivious to the fact that his infant son is missing for hours at a time, but Lois would notice if her baby boy was absent from the house for any length of time.

11 A Hidden Lair In The Baby's Room

via: bubbleblabber.com

Stewie needs someplace to put all of his high-tech gadgets. He can't just have them lying around. It is understandable that he would make a secret room hidden within his own room to house the things he doesn't want his parents seeing.

But how did he build his secret room without his parents noticing?

I mean, it's strange to think a one-year old could build an advanced lair without help, too, but shouldn't his parents have noticed the construction process?

10 Stewie Da Vinci

via: youtube.com (Brick Top)

Stewie finds out that he is related to Leonardo Da Vinci when his half-brother tries to erase Stewie from the world by going back in time and getting rid of Da Vinci. The show even has Leonardo's head look reminiscent to Stewie's so that you can see the family resemblance.

But after learning that Stewie's head shape was formed because of a close encounter with a ceiling, it makes no sense as an explanation for why Stewie and Da Vinci look so similar. Plus, shouldn't Stewie's half-brother tried eliminating one of Stewie's parents first?

9 An Actual Bad Twin

via: imdb.com

In one episode, Stewie tries to increase how villainous he is, but what he ends up doing is creating a villainous clone of himself. My first query for this episode is why Stewie decided to create a machine that would increase his villainy instead of just acting more villainous. I thought he was smarter than that.

My second query is why a machine intended to increase villainy would suddenly manifest a more villainous clone. Again, I thought Stewie was smarter than that.

8 Just A Baby On Its Own

via: vox.com

Stewie often appears in locations by himself, without Lois or Peter for supervision. He is often seen interacting with adults, and these adults treat him as if he is an adult in his own right. This only obscures the fact that Stewie is an infant and confuses viewers everywhere.

How is it that strangers can think it normal to see a baby out on the street by itself? Despite Stewie's advanced vocabulary, he is clearly not a grown up. He still wears diapers, for crying out loud.

7 A Psychopath With A Heart

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With devious designs and a lack of compassion for others, it is crazy to witness Stewie have any tender moment whatsoever. Stewie is a baby who has silenced other human beings forever with absolutely no moral qualms.

Yet, at the same time, Stewie is the one who gets the most heartbroken when something like Brian's passing occurs. How can such a soulless character end up having some of the best emotional moments in the show? It's almost as if the creators of Family Guy are messing with us.

6 Stewie's Favorite Food

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In certain regards, Stewie comes across as a regular baby. He has a beloved stuffed animal, he enjoys watching Teletubbies, and he dislikes broccoli.

But did you know that one of Stewie's favorite foods is cut green beans?

That's right. After a scare at the park where Stewie's teddy bear gets mauled by a stray dog, Lois prepares a special meal for Stewie, a meal he adores. It included cut green beans. What baby likes cut green beans? Stewie doesn't even enjoy broccoli.