If there is one thing that most JRPGs are famous for, it's the fact that they — more often than not — sport ludicrous yet memorable weapons that stick with us eons after we've completed the game in question. Such is the design, care, and thought process put behind these weapons that what is normally forgettable in most games end up being the thing you remember the most when you look back at these kinds of games and what they had to offer. Take the example of Sora's Keyblade — it's probably the most inconvenient and impractical piece of metal in video game history... and yet, no one doubts the validity or the usefulness of this weapon even once. Yes, people do laugh about the sheer stupidity of the design, but at the end of the day, the thing that most people remember when the two words "Kingdom Hearts" are strung together is — you guessed it — the Keyblade.
Keeping this thought process in mind, it must be said that the Final Fantasy series is one such anomaly that constantly sports highly impractical and stupid pieces of weaponry. However, they look so impossibly cool that you can't help but wish that you were the hero of the story who was wielding such a stupidly awesome weapon (and yes, that is the best way to describe something so impossibly weird yet fascinating). Of course, not all the weapon designs have been a hit — as you'll find out after reading this article, there are certain Final Fantasy weapons that are simply too ludicrous to be taken seriously.
30 WORST: Gunblade (FFVIII)
This might be somewhat of a nitpick, but the entire concept of the Gunblade itself is somewhat flawed, to say the least. Yes, it certainly might look cool, but the functionality of the sword is certainly up for debate.
A gun and a sword simply can't go together.
I mean, how will you even fire the gun in the first place? Holding the sword straight with one arm will lead to wobbly aim, while using another arm for aiming purposes is way too impractical.
Nobody wants to lose a finger just because they want a good shot.
29 BEST: Lion Heart (FFVIII)
Now, this might sound somewhat hypocritical, but just hear me out. While we've already established the impracticality of the Gunblade, the Lion Heart is still a great weapon in Squall's arsenal simply for one reason.
It unlocks his final limit break, named after the sword itself.
The Lion Heart limit break is — by far — one of the most powerful limit breaks in Final Fantasy history. With 22 hits in total, the attack hits the most out of any limit break and does quite a bit of damage as well... as long as you exclude the Armiger Unleashed ability from Final Fantasy XV.
28 WORST: World Champion (FFX)
Blitzball is a great fleshed-out minigame from Final Fantasy X that is actually quite fun to play once you get the hang of things. However, at the end of the day, that's all it is — a game.
Using it as a weapon is plain stupid.
And yet, for some reason, Wakka's primary mode of attack is to chuck a blitzball, that magically goes back to him every single time he throws it. The worst part is his ultimate weapon, which is just a blitzball covered in blades.
How does one even hold such a weapon, let alone throw it?
27 BEST: Brotherhood (FFX)
But hey, just like Final Fantasy VIII, it's not like all the weapons in Final Fantasy X are impractical. In fact, one of them is actually tied to the story events and becomes powerful over time.
The Brotherhood is a sword given to Tidus by Wakka, and this weapon is actually quite useful for a large chunk of the game. One of the major reasons why is because the weapon attain more traits as the story progresses, which is a great way to keep the sword relevant over time.
26 WORST: Boomerang (FFXIII)
Is it even somewhat surprising that one of the weapons from Final Fantasy XIII made it to this particular part of this list? The game is notorious for single-handedly bringing down the reputation of the Final Fantasy series, and for good reason.
If only they nailed the weapons... but nope. One of the weapons used in the game boils down to being nothing more than a futuristic boomerang. The worst part is that this lame weapon is in the hands of a character who's absolutely reviled — Hope.
25 BEST: Ultima Blade (FFXV)
Final Fantasy XV shifted its focus over to a real-time combat system that actually paid off quite well. While somewhat finicky at times, the new combat system that the series adopted was still quite a blast. In fact, the fun increases once you get one of the best swords in the game, aptly named the Ultima Blade.
The journey to get this blade is quite amazing as well — after getting the Engine Blade from his father, Noctis upgrades it multiple times before it transforms into the coveted Ultima Blade.
24 WORST: Darts (FFVI)
Final Fantasy is a series known for being quite creative — however, at times, this mentality can really bite them in the rear at times. The reason we're saying this is because, sometimes, the things that come up as a result of this creativity are unintentionally hilarious.
Take into account the fact that Setzer Gabbiani, one of the characters from Final Fantasy VI, uses darts as a weapon to showcase his penchant for gambling. Imagine throwing ineffective darts at an enemy that is threatening your life — how stupid is that!
23 BEST: Excalibur (Multiple FFs)
The legend of King Arthur is one of the most well-known stories of all time. Of course, there are many people who aren't exactly well-versed with this legendary tale, but the name "Excalibur" will still ring a familiar tone in the minds of these people.
The sword has become a staple in the Final Fantasy series, being one of the best weapons one can find in any iteration of the game where it's featured. Sometimes, it's also used as a weapon by one of the Summonable creatures, which is also quite epic.
22 WORST: Excalipoor (Multiple FFs)
If the Excalibur is the promising child of the family that is sure to bring them glory, the Excalipoor is the cruddy cousin that does nothing useful and only ends up posing nothing more than a minor hindrance. Seriously, the whole point of this sword is to be a joke weapon.
Do you really want to know how useless this weapon actually is? In most games, the damage output of this weapon doesn't go above 1 HP. Yep, that's how useless this weapon actually is.
21 BEST: Zantetsuken (Multiple FFs)
Odin is one of the best and most iconic summons in the Final Fantasy series. Part of the reason why is his ability to decimate enemies with a single slash of his sword — a sword known by the legendary name of Zantetsuken.
It's obvious that this sword was meant to be iconic from the get-go — after all, not many abilities share the same name as the weapon (the Lion Heart comes to mind). The iconic manner in which Gilgamesh receives the Zantetsuken from a defeated Odin is also quite awesome, to say the least.
20 WORST: Gastro Fork (FFIX)
In the space of epic weapons lies a metallic object used as cutlery. For some reason, in the minds of the people behind Final Fantasy, forks are actually lethal weapons that can defeat the greatest evils in the world. Why, you ask? Because fantasy!
But on a serious note, why would anything think that having forks as a weapon was even a remotely smart idea? The fact that the weirdest character in the game gets this weapon is somehow even worse.
19 BEST: Sword Of The Wise (FFXV)
One of the first Royal Arms that Noctis stumbles upon during his travels, the Sword Of The Wise serves as a fitting introduction to the player regarding the Royal Arms. Sporting a unique moveset, unlike any weapon Noctis has obtained before, the major reason why this sword is featured on this list is because of its very first attack.
Normally, warping takes up MP, making it somewhat impossible to spam. However, with the Sword Of The Wise, the first strike is a warp attack that does a decent amount of damage. As long as you maintain a distance from the enemy after the first strike, fighting enemies with hit-and-run tactics will become quite easy as a result.
18 WORST: A Freakin' Book (FFIII)
Oh, come on. Yes, everyone has heard the popular saying about knowledge being power, but this is taking things a step too far. No monster will be stopped in its path if it's hit with a freaking book, no matter how weak it might be. Okay, we might be wrong about the last sentence, but you get my point.
In a fantasy world where most heroes wield swords, axes, daggers, and other sharp stuff, there's no way that a person with a book will be taken as a threat.
17 BEST: Scepter Of The Pious (FFXV)
Hi, and welcome back to another edition of Final Fantasy XV: Royal Arms. Today, we're going to discuss another unique weapon with a trick akin to that of the Sword Of The Wise, making it a useful element of your arsenal.
The Scepter Of The Pious actually transforms into a number of weapons with different attack animations. One particular attack has Noctis twirling his staff and landing quick hits with substantial damage. If this particular animation is cheesed, then the Scepter Of The Pious easily deals boasts the best DPS (Damage Per Second) in the game.
16 WORST: Paintbrush (FFVI)
No matter what, I refuse to accept painting as a way to fight. Yes, Relm's Sketch ability might be quite novel, but there's no way that something like that can actually pose a threat to monsters who are out for the heroes' head.
The sheer thought of a serious adventurer waving around a brush like its completely normal is ludicrous in itself. Who in their right mind would've even thought that this would've been even a remotely good idea?
15 BEST: Ultima Weapon (Multiple FFs)
Ah, the Ultima Weapon. While we've already mentioned the Ultima Blade of Final Fantasy XV, the iconic Ultima Weapon holds a special place in the hearts of fans everywhere. Everyone remembers the first time they defeated the Ultima Weapon in Final Fantasy VII and received this amazing sword as a worthy prize.
The other iterations of this weapon — and boss — are quite iconic in their own right, making this term synonymous with power in the Final Fantasy series.
14 WORST: Angel Flute (FFIX)
Sigh... here we go again with the ridiculous "weapons" that would serve no purpose in a practical situation. It's not like we'll use Eiko for physical attacks, but the stupid animation where she actually whacks an enemy with a freaking flute will always be equally tragic and comedic, no matter how powerful the flute might be.
I mean, what were the developers thinking when they chose to integrate this weapon in the game? I'm pretty sure serenading someone with a good tune isn't the best way to decimate any threats that might stand in one's way.
13 BEST: Tournesol (FFXII)
Final Fantasy XII has its fair share of ultimate weapons that can prove to be quite handy in a pinch. The Tournesol is one such blade that comes to mind, with a simple yet appealing design that is actually — brace yourself for this fact — practical.
Even the description of this blade is so awesome — it's the best greatsword in the game, with runes etched on the blade. I'm pretty sure every gamer was elated when they synthesized this powerful weapon.
12 WORST: A Handbell... Really? (Multiple FFs)
This is another weapon that is designed just to fit in with the character's theme, and nothing else. One can only wonder how stupid a person looks when they make the genius deduction that the best way to damage a threat to their life is to... ring a handbell. Wow, that sounded even stupider out loud.
But hey, if there's one thing that one can deduce from looking at the worst weapons on this list, it's that the people behind Final Fantasy have the leeway to make any normal instrument into a weapon.
I can't wait until someone gets their drumsticks into battle.
11 BEST: Zodiac Spear (FFXII)
Another weapon from Final Fantasy XII with excellent damage output and usability, the Zodiac Spear is a must-have in the game. It boasts the highest damage in the game, over that of the Tournesol.
While obtaining it is somewhat of a pain, the end result is definitely worth it. The player needs to be wary about opening certain chests throughout their playthrough if they want to obtain this weapon — a somewhat obtuse condition that requires a person to know about the weapon beforehand. The Zodiac version did the right thing and removed this requirement altogether.