Time can be cruel, can’t it? If you have a group of friends you met at school and grew up with, you’ll probably have noticed that. Why do some of you have receding hairlines, middle-aged spread and all the rest, while others barely look as though they’ve aged at all? Where the heck is the justice in that?
The same’s true of the students in Fire Emblem: Three Houses. As players will know, mid-way through the story, there’s a sudden time skip to five years in the future. Some of the students truly grew into themselves and look fantastic, while others… well, not so much. What’s the opposite of a glow-up? These guys, that’s what. Watch out for spoilers and subtle references to various story paths!
10 Hilda Valentin Goneril
That’s right, friends, we’re kicking this party off with a controversial pick. In terms of looks alone, most would probably agree that Father Time has been kind to Hilda. The Golden Deer gal has changed only subtly, but it’s clear that she’s grown into a woman who knows she’s pretty darn attractive.
In the process, though, she’s become more of a cliché. Her whole schtick about being reluctant to work and wanting to charm the guys into doing everything for her (her personal ability, Advocate, makes the attacks of adjacent male allies stronger) is more than a little wearing for some, and she’s just grown to embody it more.
9 Ferdinand Von Aegir
Speaking of clichés, there’s an argument to suggest that Ferdinand’s a little problematic on that front as well. The major, jarring change to his appearance after the five-year jump is his long, flowing hair, which is just a little too Heroic Medieval Knight.jpg for some tastes.
Yes, you can expect to see him in shampoo commercials proclaiming that it’s “because he’s worth it” any day now, but even more jarring than that is his dramatic downturn in attitude. The ever-proud, confident Ferdinand becomes utterly unsure of himself after the jump, doubting that he can contribute anything to the resistance (depending on the path you choose through the game, of course). It’s heart-breaking.
8 Raphael Kirsten
The hulking-yet-lovable Raphael is the kind of character you just can’t help but fall in love with. What with his tragic backstory, his positive disposition despite everything and his utterly relatable desire to just eat everything, he’s an all-around great guy and a popular recruitment pick for those who opted for the Black Eagles or Blue Lions.
All of which makes his time skip appearance a little disappointing. It’s not that there’s anything particularly wrong with it, more that there’s just nothing going on here, other than the fact that his hair has got a whole hecking lot messier. Did he also spent the five years sleeping, like Byleth did?
7 Dedue Molinaro
Ah, Dedue, Dimitri’s sworn protector and all-around super gruff great guy. We all need friends like Dedue. There’s a whole lot of hidden depth to him, too, as his penchant for arts and crafts, needlework and flowers suggests.
Sadly, a lot of this fails to carry over to his older self. Just look at that face: he’s a grizzled warrior and nothing more. What, did you think he got those scars from a stubborn geranium while gardening? Yes, the whole point with Dedue is that you can’t judge someone’s entire personality based solely on their stature and military bearing, but they may have taken that emphasis a little too far in that direction with this one.
6 Bernadetta Von Varley
Ah, yes, now this is another controversial pick. As you might remember, Bernadetta featured prominently in our discussion about the Three Houses character who boasts the best time skip glow-up. She’s grown into a more confident, mature person as she’s aged, there’s no doubt about that. It’s fantastic to see.
On the other hand, though, does this detract from the charm of the Bernadetta we’ve come to know? Her timid nature and her wild hair are replaced by a (somewhat) more confident air and a little more care taken in her appearance. Of course, these are positives from a character development standpoint, but whether she’s really ‘better’ or ‘worse’ after the skip depends on personal preference, really.
5 Ashe Ubert
Now, it’s easy to see why players might have mixed feelings about the way that the time skip treated Ashe. There are some of us who like to see characters boast drastically different appearances after this sort of event, and (as we’ve just discussed with Bernadetta), others who would prefer them to stay as faithful to the characters they’ve already spent so much time with as possible.
If you’re in the former camp, Ashe probably isn’t going to do it for you. Essentially, he seems to have just spent those five years combing his wayward hair. He didn’t even have the decency to grow a mustache like his father.
4 Edelgard Von Hresvelg
Edelgard’s a bit of a special case. We’re not really talking about her outward appearance here. Although, as Emperor, she’s got herself a darn expensive-looking outfit that makes everyone else look like Ed Sheeran performing in his usual t-shirt and jeans next to a heavily-bejeweled Beyoncé.
No. What really matters here is that, in terms of story progression (and depending on the path you’ve chosen), Edelgard certainly gets “worse” after the skip. Her machinations as Emperor see her making an enemy of just about everybody. Still, it’s all a matter of perspective.
3 Linhardt Von Hevring
No, we don’t know quite what Linhardt’s going for with his hair either. As long as he thinks he’s rocking it, that’s all that really matters in the end.
Aside from that, the Black Eagles’ resident healer is another curious case. The most interesting thing here, perhaps, is his choice of outfit. Linhardt now sports all manner of equipment on his person, such as a staff and spell tome. In support conversations, he also takes an increasing interesting in the conflict that’s underway, and hopes it will last as long as possible (he’s a Crest researcher, and believes that Crests are intended for use only during battles). This is an alarming turn for the one-time comic relief character who only ever spoke of slacking off and napping.
2 Dimitri Alexandre Blaiddyd
Well, dang. Clearly, Dimitri had a rough time of it during that half-decade nap Byleth was having after the Battle of Garreg Mach.
Much like his steadfast comrade Dedue, poor old Dimitri has been through the ringer. Similarly to Ferdinand, too, his status has certainly fallen a little since the Empire took control. That mythical Nando’s ‘black card’ he had? That’s not valid anymore, buddy boy. Depending on the path you’ve taken through the game, you’ll get to experience exactly where Dimitri’s story goes from here.
1 Hubert Von Vestra
Finally, we arrive at the brain behind the black Eagles, Hubert. In a lot of ways, he’s another example of a character who’s just dialled everything they were before up to eleven, perhaps to his own detriment.
Quite possibly the most perfectly fitting Dark Mage/Dark Bishop in the game, Hubert has visibly gone all the darn way to the dark side. Does he even have a right eye? Is he hiding the secret to the meaning of life or the entrance to Narnia under that fringe? Is he channeling the spirit of Peter Parker in Spider-Man 3? The world will never know.