The best thing about Forza Horizon 5 is the vibes. I’m not that good at the game but hey, I’m a games journalist. As long as I get my five grand for giving Sony’s latest blockbuster a nine, I’m happy. I’ve mainly been driving around Mexico, ignoring a lot of the events while I take in the sights, skid across the dirt, and rack up those sweet drift points, baby. One thing I’ve especially enjoyed is just listening to the soundtrack, but after paying closer attention yesterday, I realised the game was making some odd censorship choices.
Industry Baby is one of my favourite songs of the year. With new albums by Kacey Musgraves, Halsey, and Lorde there’s some stiff competition, and of course when All Too Well (Taylor’s Version) drops it’s over for these hoes, but yeah, Industry Baby is pretty good. If you’re unfamiliar, it’s a Lil Nas X single featuring Jack Harlow, mostly famous for its extremely gay music video where Nas dances with sweaty, naked men and Harlow stands around rapping about being straight.
It’s the Harlow verse that’s most interesting here. The n-word and “bitches” are both muted in Lil Nas X’s bars, but you’d probably expect that. Let’s take a look at Harlow’s relatively tame lines though.
“My track record so clean
They couldn't wait to just bash me
I must be gettin' too flashy
Y'all shouldn't have let the world gas me
It's too late 'cause I'm here to stay
And these girls know that I'm nasty
I sent her back to her boyfriend
With my handprint on her ass cheek”
What do you think Forza took issue with there? ‘Ass cheek’? Correct, but not entirely. The words ‘bash’, ‘nasty’, and ‘handprint’ were also absent. Is this a big deal? Not really. Is it [bleep]ing stupid? Absolutely.
Who made the decision that Forza players weren’t mature enough for the word “nasty”? And removing moderate words is even worse, because your imagination takes over. “They couldn’t wait to just [bleep] me” automatically becomes “they couldn’t wait to just fuck me,” sorry I don’t make the rules.
And the handprint on the ass cheek? Sure, it’s a little explicit, but I’m not sure there’s much in it. There are much worse images that flood the void. I’m not the only one who reads “I sent her back to her boyfriend with my [blank] on her [blank]” as ‘my cum on her face’, right? Look, it’s not my fault. I liked the original lyrics. But I don’t spit fire like Harlow, so if you ask me to fill in the gaps, I’ll probably just say the worst thing I can think of.
Discussions around censorship in games can quickly become weird, and this is coming from someone who just told you Jack Harlow is going to cum on your girlfriend’s face. This isn’t a vagina bones deal. It doesn’t ruin the game, and it’s not evidence that a cabal of SJWs are spoiling everything we love. I’m in the cabal and I checked - this wasn’t us.
It’s just… silly. I’d love to know who authorised this. Someone had to listen to Industry Baby, and every other song on the soundtrack, and cross out any objectionable word. For whatever reason, “bash” and “nasty” made the list, as did a playful description about spanking that’s a million times worse when it’s censored. I just want to know why. Answers on a postcard, please.