Up until Resident Evil 7 and the recent remakes of Resident Evil 2 and 3, the Resident Evil franchise was endearingly known for extremely poor writing and lackluster voice acting. Even Resident Evil 4, which is considered one of the best games of all time, has some notably bad dialogue.
Reading only the ten quotes below, you would not be faulted for thinking the 2004 game was a bad action-comedy from the 80s or 90s; something on par with Miami Connection. It is difficult to tell if the game is so enjoyable because of the writing or in spite of it. Regardless, the gameplay remains intense.
10 "Your Right Hand Comes Off?" - Leon Kennedy
Ramon Salazar says he is sending his right-hand man after Leon, and the protagonist thinks this is an appropriately witty retort. Instead of antagonizing the villain, it just makes Leon look like he could not think of a one-liner to save his life. Leon has to learn that sometimes the best thing to say is nothing at all. The accompanying boss fight is thankfully more creative than this throwaway line.
9 "I Knew You'd Be Fine If You Landed On Your Butt" - Leon Kennedy
After Leon and Ashley fall into a garbage heap, he says this to the president's daughter. We guess the tongue-in-cheek response is supposed to show how they are more comfortable with each other near the end of the game, but it just feels out of place considering the urgency of the situation. Additionally, falling on your butt generally hurts a lot.
8 "LUIIIIIIIIIIIIS" - Leon Kennedy
Luis is a minor character Leon runs into several times before he gets impaled by Lord Saddler. Leon reacts by screaming Luis' name at the top of his lungs to express his sadness.
Luis and Leon's interactions add up to about ten minutes, maybe twenty, so it is difficult to believe he'd be too broken up about Luis' demise. Death is always tragic, but Leon's reaction cannot help but make us chuckle.
7 "Where's Everyone Going? Bingo?" - Leon Kennedy
Playing the game for the first time, the encounter at the village is one of the most intense moments of any game up to 2005. How does Leon follow up this gauntlet of running and shooting down enemies? He spouts this line once the villagers leave without any rational explanation. Maybe it was meant to break the tension, but it instead introduces us to the woefully inept poetic musings of Leon S. Kennedy.
6 "Sorry, Bad Traffic" - Mike
Near the end, Leon receives some help from Mike, a helicopter pilot who mows down waves of enemies. He throws out this quip when he first arrives. The segment involving Mike is awesome, but the pilot sadly dies via an RPG blast. Just like Luis' death, Leon similarly yells out Mike's name in a tragic fury. Leon's overdramatic reaction to supporting characters' demises just makes it seem like he is trying too hard.
5 "Okay, I Have One Very Important Question? You Gotta Smoke?" - Luis
Luis says this to Leon after the two first meet while handcuffed together. The wise-cracking character seems pretty relaxed considering the dire situation within the village. This line itself is cute at best, but really just makes us sigh. Luis tries to be as cool and suave as possible, but really just comes off as dorky. All the same, we are thankful he helps out Leon and Ashley when he could have just as easily bee-lined it out of the village.
4 "Huh, Women" - Leon Kennedy
Resident Evil 4 further explores Leon Kennedy and Ada Wong's relationship. Even though she helps Leon, Ada is ultimately working towards her own self-interest. Leon spouts this line to himself after she leaves him unexpectedly before he embarks on the Island, Resident Evil 4's final area. There's barely enough context within the game for this line to even make sense. Even James Bond and '80s action heroes groan at this line.
3 "I See The President's Equipped His Daughter With Ballistics Too" - Luis
As a suave ladies' man, Luis cannot help but comment immediately on Ashley's appearance upon their first meeting. Ashley takes offense to this, and reasonably so. When she asks Luis his name, he acts offended that she does not first introduce herself. Leave it up to the womanizer to say something inappropriate and then act like he is under attack after the woman calls out his rudeness. If this insult didn't leave a hole in Luis' heart, then Lord Saddler's mutated appendage sure did.
2 "After You Take Me Back To My Place, How About We Do Some Overtime" - Ashley
Ashley was kidnapped, infected with a parasite, carried away several times, and then had said parasite painfully removed from her body. Despite all this trauma, she hits on Leon Kennedy immediately after escaping the Los Iluminados. Leon, being a true gentlemen, tells her to at least wait until they get home. It is a weird way to end the game, though we guess we'd probably be pretty enamored with somebody who just saved our lives several times over too.
1 "You Know You're Kind Of Cute Without Those Glasses. Gimme Your Number When I Get Back?" - Leon Kennedy
In what seems to be an attempt not to be outdone by his late friend Luis, Leon hits on Hunnigan during their last transmission before the credits roll. She sternly tells him he is still on duty, to which he replies "Story of my life." If the story of your life is being reminded of the ethics regarding randomly asking out coworkers, you should probably reevaluate what you are doing during work hours.