Keep It Secret: 25 Inappropriate Video Games You Don’t Want To Get Caught Playing

Keep It Secret: 25 Inappropriate Video Games You Don’t Want To Get Caught Playing

These days, gamers have it good. We have a wide variety of awesome video games that bring together groups of people and have won the affection of fans. There is fan art, fan theories, and lots of other fan-type things that many people openly acknowledge and declare their love for in front of everyone.
On the other hand, everyone has those particular games that they enjoy and love, but would not necessarily advertise that love to everyone. Whether it is a visual novel or an old, obscure game, they play these with the same passion, but may show this love anonymously online through such sites as Tumblr, Deviantart, and many other online forums.
Then there are games that receive raised eyebrows when parents/significant other/pets catch you playing the at 3 AM (the only time they can be played where there are no prying eyes). These games have been openly mocked and questioned, teased and taunted, and overall have left many people with the question, “Just, why?”
This list is about just those types of games! Some of the games on this list are oddball games that you would probably never show off to your friends or family you play, and some are games you really hope that your mother never walks in on you playing at the wrong time. You may love them, but you don’t want the world to know. Here are 25 embarrassing video games you would not want to be caught with or have to explain!

25. Playboy: The Mansion

Based solely on the name of this video game, I have a feeling you probably already know why you would not want to be caught playing this game. Playboy: The Mansion is about running the Playboy empire, so running the mansion, organizing the magazine, and maintaining relationships with colleagues and magazine models. Think of the Sims series, but with “mature content,” buxom women, and shame. Now, I will say that there is no blatant nudity in this game (it’s all pretty heavily implied, though). Still, based on the name itself, and what the game implies, I expect you probably do not want to have to explain why you own this title and have people assume you are a huge pervert for the rest of your days.

24. Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude

Leisure Suit Larry: Magna Cum Laude is probably one of the most chauvinistic, shmuck-like games you will find out there (aside from possibly Duke Nukem). This game details the journey of a college student named Larry, who is on a mission to seduce as many buxom co-eds as he possibly can. He tries to do this in any way possible other than actually talking to the women. This ranges from Casanova like sweet talking to pumping them full of alcohol along with many other incredibly questionable tactics. These actions are depicted through a series of mini games that determine your success in getting into bed with the woman in question. There are also an absurd amount of scenes with exposed woman — a lot of nudity, so be prepared for an awkward conversation if your girlfriend catches you playing this at 3 AM.

23. Catherine


Catherine is a great, unique game, but is also one of those games you don’t want to get caught playing at the wrong time. The main character, Vincent, is forced to choose between 2 women, Katherine (with a K) and Catherine (with a C). Katherine is very straight edge and professional with a good job, while Catherine is wild and free, more of a party girl. This conflict causes a lot of weird shenanigans to go on in Vincent’s dreams. The part that gets weird is the tower chases, where a variety of enemies chase you up a tower, including naked deformed versions of the women and a creepy baby. Overall, it would probably be best if folks didn’t walk in during the tower chase parts, especially since Vincent is in his underwear and the person might get a face full of monster lady butt.

22. Mister Mosquito

Imagine, if you will, you are a mosquito. Your goal in life is to get to more people and suck as much blood as you can without getting caught. That is pretty much the premise of Mister Mosquito. You fly around different environments and different people, thus different challenges, to get to the end goal of getting blood. Additionally, there are specific places you have to go to on the human’s body to get blood. This can be awkward in environments such as the bathroom, where a woman is sitting in the tub completely exposed. You pretty much have to buzz around her chest and find just the right spot to take landing and start drinking. Now imagine your girlfriend walking in while you are on this level. Cringing? Me too.

21. Soulcalibur V

The Soulcalibur series in itself really is not an embarrassing series, and is actually is pretty good fight game! But, the feature added to Soulcalibur can definitely get you some side eye and judgement if the wrong person walks in on you at the wrong time. In this particular volume of the series, whenever you deal or take damage, your clothes begin to rip and dissipate off. Obviously not to the point of full nudity, but it strips everyone, man and woman alike, down to their underwear. This can become especially awkward if you are playing the more, ahem, buxom characters in this series, and your mother walks in on you playing a character with bouncing breasts across the screen. Not exactly a proud moment.

20. Duke Nukem Forever


Man oh man, Duke Nukem Forever is something. There is not one specific thing about this game that is embarrassing, but a lot of different things. A general rundown includes a lot of crude jokes, slapping around of aliens’ “parts,” and performing sketchy acts with a random unsuspecting hole in a decrepit bathroom. It’s so over the top and raunchy that it gets a bit overbearing at times, and is not something you want to play in front of impressionable company (aka toddlers or parents). Combine that with overly buggy controls and a story line that overstays it welcome, and you have a game that is embarrassing not just because of the raunchiness, but because you spent money on a crap game. Tsk tsk.

19. Bayonetta

Bayonetta is another one of those games that is a fantastic and entertaining game, but it is not a good idea for others to watch you play this or catch you playing it at the wrong time. During Bayonetta’s journey to kill angelic beings and figure out who she is, she does a number of things that people may question and judge you (at least a little) for. Some of these actions include: stripping to summon a demon, making explicit noises when you press certain prompts or buttons, and making provocative statements such as, “Do you want to touch me?” when certain buttons are pressed as well. In general, if anyone catches Bayonetta propositioning you, be prepared to give an awkward explanation and hope you all can move on from the situation quickly.

18. Dead Or Alive Xtreme 3

Unlike previous Dead or Alive games that played under the very thinly veiled idea of being an arena beat-em-up, Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 throws this out the window and pretty much openly becomes what it was destined to be: a game with a ton of gratuitous booty and chest shots. The main premise of the game seems to be to dress up buxom women in itty bitty bathing suits and have them play volleyball with “realistic physics.” If you get what I mean. This is one of those games you could probably get away with a group of non-judgmental friends (and I say probably lightly), but you better hope your significant other or mother doesn’t walk in on you in the middle of a volleyball tournament.

17. Night Trap

Much like Drowning Simulator, this particular game is described by many as an “interactive movie title,” since a lot of the action is filmed live by real actors and actresses. In Night Trap, you play a member of a special forces team that is watching and spying in a totally not-creepy-at-all matter on a group of young girls having a sleepover in an effort to find a group of vicious vampires that are out to kill the girls. This seems like a thinly veiled excuse to spy on young women in their underwear having a sleepover, and makes you look like a creep voyeur. In addition, this game is very poorly designed in terms of getting from one room to the other, so not only would you be judged for being a voyeur, but you would also be judged for your poor taste in games. Tsk tsk.

16. Huniepop

Huniepop upon initial inspection appears to be a typical dating sim. However, what sets it apart is also what will probably cause you embarrassment if your significant other found you playing it. In Huniepop, you are accosted by a love fairy named Kyu who wants to help you get laid. This isn’t one of those dating sims where you pursue just one suitor. No, you pursue them all. There are the typical archetypes, like the mean tsundere or the innocent cute cat girl (yes, there is a cat girl in this game), and you have to approach each of them differently in order to bed them. You play a puzzle match game for each date, and when you get them back to your place, you are met with sensual moans and nudity. Let’s hope you have your volume down.

15. Kan Kolle

The only browser based game on this list, Kan Kolle is a card based online strategy game that has you playing on the side of the Axis powers during World War II. In the game, you have to assemble and upgrade various squadrons, and then send them out on various missions. There are various cards that represent different tanks and warships, but they are represented by… wait for… cute moe anime girls! And these girl’s outfits are not modest. They have bits of ship and tank attached to them, one character even having a gun coming right out of her butt! Additionally, when you perform various actions in the game, they will make an interesting variety of noises! So simply explaining that it is just a strategy game to your significant other isn’t going to quite cut it. Keep that volume down!

14. Drowning Simulator

This particular game tends to strike me more as an “interactive movie” than a simulator, since it always ends the same way; you drown. In Drowning Simulator, you play a man who gets knocked off a boat. The boat quickly ends up moving away from him, and as a result, the man is stuck kicking and screaming in the middle of the ocean. Your goal is to keep him from sinking underwater. That’s pretty much it. Inevitably, you are going to get tired and end up letting the man sink. Between the initial fall into the water and you tiring out, though, you see the process of what happens to the human body when stuck in frigid cold water, including your nails falling out of your fingers. Have fun explaining why you are playing a game about drowning and nails falling out to your mother!

13. Clayfighter

Clayfighter is one of those raunchy, rare gems that you get out of early Nintendo releases. It was considered to be a parody of various platform fighting games and had a unique claymation style to it. It had it all in terms of raunchy content: vomit, farts, dirty fighting, and a lot of dirty jokes. Additionally, there is the option to play as a Casanova-like baby whose first words were curses and has been censored ever since. This was considered embarrassing and weird back when it was first released, and it still is now. Clayfighter is a game you definitely would not want a younger sibling to walk in on you playing, even though it looks like a game that would be aimed towards a younger audience. Trust me, it isn’t.

12. Sneak N Peek

Have you ever wanted to play hide and seek, but in a video game and while you are in the same room with everyone? Yes? Really? Ok then, well, this is the game for you then! Sneak n Peek is an early Atari game where, yes, you play hide and seek. This is probably one of the few games on the list I’ll outright say is probably a complete waste of time and money, and that you should be ashamed to be caught playing by anyone. The embarrassment here comes with owning the game in the first place. You want to play hide and seek? Ok, close your laptop and go find some friends to play it with in person. That is free and more fulfilling than this game.

11. Farming Simulator

Farming Simulator being embarrassing, you say? How? Well, it certainly does not give off the general idea of being a wild and crazy game, and it isn’t! It pretty much is what it says it is; a game simulating the act of large scale farming. It’s filled with a lot of business planning and budgeting too, so it is not all fun and games! You won’t be judged for the game itself, but for your game taste. So basically, people will be judging your character — what type of person works all day, gets home, and starts working again. You would be stuck explaining to your pals at 3:00 am why you are up building and planning out a farm when you could play… literally anything else. If it makes you happy, go for it! But don’t be surprised if you get some questions.

10. Toilet Kids

What, you may ask, would a game with “Toilet” in the title be about? Well, I’m glad you asked! In Toilet Kids, an unsuspecting child is sucked down into the toilet into a land of monsters and poop based creatures that attack him on sight. The goal is to fight through and get out of the land without being killed. So you could say he is in a crappy situation! Ahem, anywho, this may be a fun game, but people may question your judgment based on the fact that you are playing a game involving sentient poop attacking you. They could also hurl poop-related puns at you. Those are both pretty bad. So be prepared for people to give you some potty mouth for owning this title.

9. Power Shovel

Depending on what social circles you run with, this could either be a fun game or an embarrassing game to some. On the surface, Power Shovel may seem like a construction game where you control a power shovel. It kind of is, but with a bunch of different twists. The goal is to appease the insanely high expectations of the crazy foreman on site and to impress him with your skills. Each twist and task is composed of a series of mini games that determine your standing with the foreman on site. That includes: saving turtles, putting large loads of curry on top of rice, loading 5 tons of rice into a dump truck for no particular reason, and many more! Overall, it looks like a fun game, but may be one of those games where people will give you a side eye.

8. Catfight

Catfight (also known as Catfight: The Ultimate Female Fighting Game) has been widely regarded as one of the worst video games ever made. The general premise of the game is that there is a dark goddess named Shinma, and your goal is to use one of 10 playable fighters to fight against her and gain her powers. It sounds good in premise, but it really seems to be a thinly veiled excuse to have scantily clad women fight, and not even with good controls! One critic on PC Gamer in 2010 said that it was, “so bad, being caught [pleasing yourself to it] would actually be less embarrassing than being caught playing it.” So I guess you have that going for you if you get caught playing it, but you still have to answer for your poor video game taste.

7. Hatoful Boyfriend

Hatoful Boyfriend may seem like any other dating simulator until you realize you are dating birds and you definitely aren’t a bird in this game. The goal of this game (like many dating sims) is to pursue a particular bird/suitor (suitor bird?) by investing in certain skills and participating in certain events. So basically a choose your own adventure… except you are dating birds. You have the stereotypical rich brat, the smart one, the outcast, and so on and so forth, except they are all birds. Pursuing a partner is necessary to your survival at St. PigeoNation’s Institute (again, bird puns) because you, a human, are a part of a dying species. I don’t really understand the logistics of said partnership, but the game said it was important so just roll with it. Have fun explaining to your mom next Thanksgiving why you are playing a game about dating birds.

6. Muscle March

A unique take on a Japanese game show game, Muscle March is a Wii game where your goal is to seize the vile villain who stole your protein powder. You play as a greased up, muscular specimen of a man in tight Speedo underwear who likely lives, breathes, and sleeps weightlifting. You try to get to your protein powder and chase the thief by using your Wii remote and nunchuck to flex your arms and body into the right shape to fit through walls that the thief has broken through. So all you see throughout the game is your characters finely chiseled back and booty, which, depending on who walks in at the time, could garner some laughs or questions. Doubly so since you are posing as well with the Wii remote and nunchuck.

5. Succulent


The premise of Succulent is both simple and confusing. Basically, you come upon this shirtless man with sunglasses, and you feed him a popsicle. There are two men in the background (who appear to be clones of the man you are feeding the popsicle to) that will begin to dance. As time goes on and you continue to feed the popsicle, the music becomes trippy and the clones begin to dance more aggressively. Everything turns colorful, the whole world has become unhinged, and you have no earthly idea what is going to happen next. It downward spirals until suddenly, you are back at the start screen. I imagine that not only would anyone who ever catches you play this game have questions, but you probably have questions as well, the main one being, “Why?”

4. Panzermadels

Somewhat similar to Kan Kolle, Panzermadels is a dating sim that involves young, adorable anime girls that in actuality are tanks. And I mean literal war tanks, not the kind of tanks you are screaming for in the middle of a raid. You meet a whole variety of cute tanks whom you may want to pursue, including the sporty type, the nerdy type, and even the kuudere snobby type (how those types translate over to different types of tanks… your guess is as good as mine). And for some extra spice and drama, a Russian tank apparently stalks you within the game, desiring your love and affection. How delightful! This probably isn’t a game I would bring up if my pals asked what I was getting into these days.

3. Tomak: Save The Earth Love Story

Visual novels seem to be some of the most unique and weird games out there, and Tomak: Save The Earth Love Story is definitely no exception. The premise of this Korean visual novel is that a love goddess named Evian is convinced that true love still exists, and wants to prove it to the other gods so they will not destroy the earth. In order to prove this, she is sent to earth as a disembodied head in a flower pot so that what another person feels for her is love, not lust. Overall, a very weird game. You are essentially customizing and trying to woo a disembodied head (for the good of humanity, mind you). Not only do you not want other people catching you playing this game, but you may just feel a slight sense of shame and confusion at yourself should you play it.

2. Creature Of Koi Shiyo! Kokonoe Kokoro

In Creature of Koi Shiyo! Kokonoe Kokoro, a dating sim, your goal is to try to date an anthropomorphic cricket. That’s it. It’s unique in the world of dating sims for the fact that you are actively only trying to pursue one particular party. It’s even more unique in the sense that you are trying to date a damn cricket. With physicality. And a butt. This game has constant shots of this cricket girls’ “assets,” and at one point the protagonist accidentally walks in on her stripping down. You also see the cricket in a very well fitting bathing suit and being all cute. Overall, I imagine anyone who walks in on you playing this would probably be concerned and confused for you, and you are also probably confused and concerned for you, since you probably think the cricket is hot. Hey, I’m not putting words in your mouth.

1. Seaman

Another clear gem of the Sega Dreamcast era, Seaman is basically a virtual pet video game where you take care of a creature called the Seaman. The seaman goes through a variety of stages in its life cycle, and you must figure out the appropriate care for the creature on your own with a little bit of guidance from the narrator (Leonard Nimoy!) and using a replica of the discoverer’s laboratory. In its later stages, the seaman has an uncomfortably human man face, whom you can speak to through the Dreamcast’s microphone and who can speak to you back through insults and vague but slightly threatening statements. The Seaman will also share trivia with you about the day of your birth, for some reason. Overall, this game is a little more than uncomfortable for everyone involved, and I just suggest putting it back in your chest along with your Dreamcast.

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