God of War: A series that started ages ago on the PS2. Now look where we are. After a long wait between the initial reveal at Sony’s E3 2015 stage show, three years later we can finally play it. I can safely say along with a high majority of other video game critics and writers out there that it was worth the wait. It may not be what the series started out as, but it’s still good regardless. Things need to evolve in order to stay fresh. If you count the PSP games this was technically the seventh game in the franchise. Any series with that many sequels is bound to feel old especially after the debacle that was God of War: Ascension.

I think the perfect analogy for this somewhat reboot is Resident Evil 4. It still has ties to plot points from the games before it, but it got rid of zombies and the traditional areas for something more foreign, literally. That game defined a generation and we wouldn’t have the games we have today without it. That said I could see why hardcore fans would be angry with both that and God of War for changing. Change is scary, but again we need to accept evolution in order to progress further. That doesn’t mean the game is without fault. I still found plenty to make fun in the best way possible: memes. And just so we’re clear, there will be spoilers. With my tracks properly covered, enjoy!

24 Draketos

Drake’s classic song “Started from the Bottom” has been used in countless memes at this point. It may be old, but it sure makes a statement especially in regards to God of War in more ways than one. First of all the series began with God of War releasing on the PS2 back in 2005. Throughout the years the series evolved ever slowly while still being exactly as the game before it. Kratos was angry, he destroyed stuff while screaming, the end. In this way, the reboot sequel has grown to show a more mature game thematically and not mature because of swearing and cussing. It comes with age for both Kratos and the developers.

I can almost feel his rage through the PS4.

Another way we can interpret this meme is looking at the graphics. Look. The PS2 is a phenomenal platform with tons of great games that still hold up even if they look dated. God of War is one of those games. However, compared to the new game it looks like hot garbage. Amazing isn’t it? I bet the polygon count for the PS2 Kratos is so low that like a million of him could fit into the new model. No, strike that. Just for his eye.

23 A Flimsy Excuse

This complaint goes beyond this God of War and extends to every game in the franchise. For all intents and purposes, he is a god. It’s important to note that they are not invulnerable, which is to say no matter how strong the deity is there is always a weakness. It usually has to be some magical item, or a god can destroy another god. We’ve seen proof of this countless times during the series. I mean Kratos moved away from Sparta to get away from his past trauma. What trauma you ask as if you didn’t already know? He vanquished every Greek god known to man. Even the almighty Zeus! So there’s no question that he can destroy gods.

I also believe gods could destroy him. What is hard to swallow is normal beasts taking Kratos down like a wolf. How is that possible? He may be old and is thus getting weaker, but he survived a climatic battle at the beginning of the game, seemingly brushing dirt off his shoulder like it was nothing. Kratos is the man! No way a dumb old wolf, or whatever could take him down and yet here we are. Hey, it’s a video game. What can you do?

22 Epic Loot!

Another big problem in video games is in regards to loot. Look. I get it. Finding a chest full of gold, or other treasure is great, but impossible for one person to gather. Yes, even a god like Kratos can’t stash a chest full of gold into his pockets. At the same time he finds boatloads of hacksilver and somehow manages to put it somewhere let alone countless pieces of weapons, crests, armor and other items. Where does it all go? Does he have some sort of magic bag?

No of course he doesn’t. It doesn’t make any sense so if we know that why doesn’t he just loot the whole chest? Either that, or the developers could take away that clutter in the treasure. Then you could ask why put a small thing in a giant chest? You know like in The Legend of Zelda. Why is there one green rupee in a giant chest? The point is I could go round and round in circles, contradicting myself for hours on end. On one hand yes it’s silly he doesn’t take all the treasure, but on the other he couldn’t carry it all. Then again it’s impossible for him to carry what he already has. See?

21 God Of Thrones

Game of Thrones might be the biggest TV show on right now and with it’s final season close at hand you can bet the ratings will go even higher. Now viewers may be aware that it’s based on a book. However, that book series is not called Game of Thrones. The franchise is called A Song of Ice and Fire, which became very obvious why during season seven of the show. Loyal watchers will know exactly what I’m getting at. As one final piece of knowledge, the first book was called A Game of Thrones, which is how the show got its name plus it is a show about competing for a throne.

We all lose in the game of Kratos.

How does that relate to God of War? Well, first of all, you begin the game with the Leviathan Axe, which is imbued with ice. You’re also in a winter wonderland. Later on you’re forced to go to the Norse underworld, Helheim, in order to get an item to help save Atreus. Apparently, Leviathan’s magic won’t work down there so instead you’re forced to dawn the classic Chaos Blades, imbued with fire, from the original series. You could also comment that Sparta is a warmer climate and that Kratos used to burn hot with rage. Now his demeanor is cooler and focused. Got it?

20 Axe And Ye Shall Receive

I’m not sure if this is a global idiom, but in the U.S. it’s pretty coming to misrepresent ask for axe. Instead of can I ask you question it can sound more like can I axe you question. I do this by accident sometimes, slurring my letters together when I don’t mean to because of how fast I speak. That’s a big Minnesota thing. Other times I do it on purpose to be goofy. It’s a kind of dad joke I suppose and something Kratos is very fond of. He’s straight, to the point, and has a dry wit because of it. He also doesn’t like using names.

Why? Does he actually not care to address people properly, or has he been bashed in the head one too many times making it actually hard for him to remember? Whatever the case may be his lack of effort is a meme unto itself. Put those two things together and we get this excellent meme. I should also note that Kratos has to “axe” a lot of questions over the course of his journey, which is to say he hands over his weapon in hopes of an upgrade from one of the two dwarves smiths: Brok and Sindri.

19 I’m Ruined!

You know, as chipper and clever as Atreus is he’s also pretty dumb. I mean like incredibly dumb, or at least ignorant to the fact that Kratos is a god. He keeps mentioning his strength like he’s a bodybuilder, or something in the most insane situations. Sure one could theoretically carry a tree the size Kratos did in the beginning. I can swallow that. Lifting giant boulders, or pushing monstrous statues aside is another. One of the craziest stunts he pulls is moving an entire bridge.

Sure he has a crank to help, but that’s all muscle. There are so many cases of his strength that I find it hard to believe he can’t just crack open a chest sealed by runes. Sure at times magic can be stronger than brute strength, but at the same time these rune chests slow down the pace of the game so much that I just want Kratos to smash these things open Hulk style. They are the worst not only because they are tedious puzzles that often don’t make sense, but also they are necessary since they upgrade health and your rage meter. I hate that you need them so bad. I guess thank goodness for YouTube.

18 Trees Of Green And Trails Of Red

The PS4 launched in 2013. The games that released alongside it looked good, but only marginally better compared to its predecessor. As the years went on the generation slowly started to look better and it felt more like a leap forward than just a tiny hop. We are now in year five of the PS4 and God of War blows me away. It’s not just the pure graphics either. It’s the design of everything from the World Serpent, to the enemies, to the humans, to the trees, grass, and everything in between. It’s hard not to just stop and look in awe like you’re on a real life expedition.

17 Look At My Snake

Kratos doesn’t say this joke in the game, but there are plenty of puns he drills out during the journey. He cuts right to the core. For example, in the very beginning, Atreus asks where deer are in regards to hunting. Kratos replies with something along the lines of in the direction of the deer. That sarcasm makes his character great. At least he has learned to joke a little instead of brooding all the time even if he is pretty mean to his son.

Anyway, as for this scales joke, it works on two levels. First of all, when describing a game’s design you can often talk about the scale, or scope of everything. Scale in reference to the size of the map, or various sizes of creatures. For example, the size of the World Serpent is jaw-dropping when compared to Kratos and Atreus. It is phenomenal and I often times just found myself staring up at it, literally scared by the monstrosity even though I knew it was friendly. Then there is the fact that it has scales, which is where the boat is parked. Get it? I know, it’s a dumb joke, but that’s why I love it.

16 Fan Boys

This image early on between Baldur and Kratos is beyond epic. They are both giving it their all, destroying tress, rocks, and the land itself. If I didn’t know any better I would have guessed this was a fight between two Dragon Ball characters. It can also be interpreted as a dramatic reenactment of how crazy fans of both DC and Marvel can get. Truthfully this image works well for so many meme-type jokes that you could sub anything in and it would probably work. I went with Marvel vs DC because Marvel is in the zeitgeist right now what with The Avengers: Infinity War dominating conversations.

Marvel is way better than DC!

Personally, I’m a Marvel guy in both films and comics. I just like the characters better. So wouldn’t that mean I view them as the “good guy” in this fight? Why didn’t I put them as Kratos? Simple. This joke goes beyond faithfulness. See Baldur is strong, but kind of scrawny which represents the heroic depictions in Marvel’s universe. Kratos I feel is more like the beefy brawn of the DC heroes. That’s where I’m coming from on this one. Also, again, demonstrating how crazy fans can get over dumb movie, or comic wars.

15 Twilight Of The Gods

This scene is another example of something that can be funny if you think of a good caption. It features literally the only humans you fight in God of War. Sorry if that’s a spoiler, but you knew what you were in for here. It was an intense moment that felt deflated knowing it was the only one. I’m sure pockets of survivors will play a more important role in the next game, or at least I hope. Some good storytelling could sprout around humans hating gods just as much as Kratos. They could even prove to be formidable foes if they acquire some kind of device to zap Kratos of his power.

Then it really would be like Metroid, or at least the beginning of every game wherein Samus’ powers are taken away. Hopes and dreams aside let’s get back to the joke itself. While I could splice in any debate from pop culture I decided to go with the funniest, or at least the cleverest in this situation. Why would these burly mean read Twilight, and or ask Kratos about it? The context doesn’t make sense, which is why the joke works. Well, it does for me at least.

14 Who Put K In Kratos?

Kratos keeps his past under wraps throughout most of the game. Even when he reveals some parts for Atreus he leaves a lot out. For example, why did he leave Sparta and how exactly did he get there? Sparta is a place, but Midgard is kind of mythical. Or you could just assume it’s some Nordic country like Scandinavia. I guess for now it doesn’t matter. Maybe that will get explored in the sequel. Anyway, we don’t see many callbacks to his past, or the region itself. That is until you enter Tyr’s vault.

Now Tyr is the Norse god of war and actually was supposed to be kind, generous, and loved by all. Yes, he was still super strong, but he used his power for good and not just to spread war and grief. He also liked to collect things apparently as his vault was full of treasure. Not just monitory stuff either. I’m talking about cultural artifacts from around the globe. That urn featuring Kratos for example. It’s designed just like the style in Disney’s Hercules. Is this a tiny Easter egg? That could be the case. If only we could get the Muses to sing about his accomplishments.

13 Super Saiyan Kratos

Before Kratos became an angry dad with a beard there was Vegeta from Dragon Ball Z. I guess I should correct that statement. Vegeta became a father way before he was drawn with a beard in Dragon Ball Super. Beard, or not he has almost the exact same relationship with Trunks as Kratos has with Atreus. First of all, they are both distant. Why? Well try massacre thousands if not millions of souls and see how you turn out. These are hardened warriors who worked for tyrants and were thus mutated into cold-hearted destruction machines. They lost all meaning on how to be sincere. That is until they met the right people to help soften them.

Becoming cooler headed and falling in love is one thing, but raising a son is another. You have to have extreme patience and children, as great as they can be, generate zero tolerance. That is to say, they get bored easily and their minds wonder. They don’t understand why simple questions would get aggravating. Let’s be honest. Trunks and Atreus are both hyperactive and combining that with these two war vets is a combo that is going to take awhile to understand. They certainly have their moments, but for the most part, they aren’t the best fathers.

12 Chocobo Of War

It takes forever to unlock the shop in God of War. I was collecting hacksilver pieces for hours without any idea what they were for let alone various forging materials. The first dwarf you come across is Brok who is trying to herd his beastly bird thing along. My immediate first thought was, “Where did you get a chocobo, Brok?” Now it may look more animal than bird, but something about that beak calls out to me. I guess I’ve seen too many chocobos in too many Final Fantasy games that I’ve been conditioned to thinking any large creature with a beak is a chocobo. Well, maybe not every beast.

Every cute creature can look like a chocobo in my eye, but I don’t think I would liken something ugly as such. That doesn’t matter anyway. Now unfortunately you only see this thing once. It disappears without anyone saying boo when finally about half way through Atreus asked what happened to it. Turns out Brok are it. In fact he cooked the hybrid monster right in front of them. It was something I didn’t even question until this was brought up. It horrified me, but I can’t help but give them kudos for implementing such a small call back.

11 Mummy Issues

Here is another great pun courtesy of Atreus. Now while Norse mythology isn’t exactly turning the deceased into mummies, they do have a habit of ceremonially encasing them in clothes and decorations before they are burnt. That’s what’s happening here. The first thing you do, literally, in the game is chop down a tree for the pyre that will ignite your wife. It’s such a dark, morbid tone to start with, but then again that is par for the course regarding God of War. The only exception is that it’s done more organically and not with Kratos’ typical rage screams.

While Atreus never says, “I miss my mommy” it doesn’t matter for this joke to work. We know he misses her even if he doesn’t exactly say how sad he is until the very end. That’s the brilliant thing about screenshots without dialogue. You can put whatever you want in there and sometimes the joke will work and sometimes it won’t. That’s how comedy works. How about now? Are you laughing at my incredibly dumb pun? If you’re a dad I bet you are, or maybe a kid less than, but not equal to ten. If not, eh, I guess we should move on.

10 Ashen At Heart

Kratos is different than his former persona, this much is true, but he still isn’t pleasant to be around. To keep things in perspective and chipper Atreus has an upbeat attitude. He’s full of curiosity and genuinely wants to help others. He’s pure of heart and Kratos doesn’t want to ruin the boy’s good nature by informing him he is part god. Well eventually he has to spill the beans in order to save his life and it changes Atreus for the worse. He becomes full of himself, falling further and further back, sounding almost like a baby Kratos.

These ashes are starting to smell.

He doesn’t want to help anyone any more, he snaps at Sindri, and also disrespects his mother. Eventually, Kratos has enough and takes him aside for a little father to son talk. You know, the serious kind involving threats. That look in his eye made me think Kratos might say something like this, which is dark even for him. That’s why it’s funny in an incredibly dark way. Again, this doesn’t come up at all, but it should because hey it’s super obvious the guy is covered in ashes. What’s up with that? Atreus, talk to your father.

9 Over The Boat

Ah, a classic riff on The Lonely Island’s “I’m on a boat” song. When it debuted back in 2009 it dominated the Internet. You couldn’t escape the magnitude of the joke. “I’m on a boat” showed up everywhere. Jokes aside it was also just one heck of a catchy song. It became so popular that the ripples still exist to this day although if you make an “I’m on a boat” joke you may get an eye roll, or two. It’s like Borat three years earlier in 2006 with “my wife” jokes. Again, it got overplayed and if you make them now chances are you’ll get ridiculed.

Comedy is a fickle thing. If you’re not funny, well that’s it. If you’re too hilarious and things blow up the wrong people may get attached and form that joke into their identity. They are living, breathing versions of “my wife” and “I’m on a boat” memes. Everyone knows someone like that, right? Well, serious inside retrospection aside I admittedly still say it from time to time. Guilty as charged. It’s like breathing air, or adding 2 plus 2. If someone is on a boat the meme must be made. I’m part of the problem!

8 A Wondrous Journey

One of the most surprising aspects of God of War is that there are absolutely no camera cuts. When you begin the game loads and if you fall in battle it needs to load, but that’s it. The camera follows the two gods around and it’s mesmerizing. Of course, there are other loads. Long sequences are just load screens in disguise like whenever you use the bifrost. Because Kratos, Atreus, or whoever else always has something to say it doesn’t even matter. They may be clever load screens, but they are ones I don’t mind.

Loads and camera discussions aside, let’s delve deeper into the bifrist and this joke. When it is activated to travel to a new world it gets trippy, which reminded me of the scariest moment in Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory. When everyone gathers on the boat and Willy Wonka sort of freaks out with an equally mesmerizing background spinning out of control. If I knew how to make mods on the PS4 I would add in that sound clip every time I traveled via the bifrist. For those that have never seen that movie, here’s the clip. Do you see where I’m coming from now?

7 Ring Wars

Let’s face it. Side quests in video games, while rewarding, are pretty bare bones. Go here, collect this thing, fight some dudes, and bring it back. Now that’s not true of all games. I can remember some pretty cool side quests in Final Fantasy, but even in those awesome moments, there is little context to the objective. The first game that tried to make everything meaningful was The Witcher III: Wild Hunt. Even doing a seemingly dumb job like retrieving a woman’s pan turned into this sprawling quest. It was innovative for the industry, but God of War takes it one step further.

Every side objective you accomplish has meaningful lore behind it, which gets players more immersed in the game. That’s how I felt anyway. There is one where Brok traps a Dwarven soul inside a ring, which Atreus can hear. The whole time I couldn’t help, but think of The Lord of the Rings and Gollum. I mean look at Atreus! He may not say “my precious” but it sure looks like he’s thinking about saying it. Jokes aside that’s one of the coolest side quests in the game and it comes back later in a big way.

6 Weapons Of The Gods

Part of what makes Thor’s Mjolnir so powerful is that he is the only that can use it. To put it another way, the movie lore goes that only the worthy, or virtuous can wield the mighty hammer. It becomes an inside joke throughout the Marvel Cinematic Universe canon to be sure. The best joke was in The Avengers: Age of Ultron. Well, it was a fun joke that is to say until it was destroyed in Thor: Ragnarok.

Now when God of War was first unveiled at E3 2015, Sony showed how the Leviathan Axe could be thrown and then called back, which looked awesome. Fast-forward three years and not once did I connect the two mythical weapons. I feel very dumb for the revelation later on when Brok and Sindri admit they helped make Thor’s hammer. Duh! How did I not put two and two together? The ability to throw it out and have it come back from anywhere. The Norse connection. The elemental power. It all seems so obvious now. Well, the one thing that is different is that anyone can hold the Leviathan Axe, making it a more versatile weapon. Not that anyone could rip it away from Kratos though.

5 Too Many Cooks

God of War is a lot of things, but a God of War game it is not. True it has Kratos and you’re still brutally destroying all manors of mythical creatures and gods. That said it dumps a lot of what came before it. Kratos can’t jump, he lost his Chaos Blades, he isn’t with the Greek gods, he isn’t as angry, and so forth. That was the identity of this series for so long. As I said in the intro though it’s good that it dropped what was familiar in order to reboot things and start fresh.

I’d also settle for Rise of the God Raider.

In that sense, it feels like a lot of other games. Metroid is all about exploring one big interconnected environment that you traverse slowly throughout the adventure by unlocking new paths with new gear. The combat also feels more like a Dark Souls game. No, it’s not as tough, or unforgiving, but it’s definitely more methodical and has weight to it. Plus there is literally a side dungeon where you collect souls. Lastly, it feels a lot like the Uncharted franchise which is all about great set pieces and telling a breathtaking story with well written characters. And that’s this new game in a nutshell.