There comes a time in every television-watching person's life when they have to make a choice. Should they stop watching a trash fire of a show, or should they continue watching the flames until they burn out? That time came for me when Gossip Girl was on TV. No show that I've ever watched has matched it for fashionable outfits, snarky back-stabbing, inconsistent character decisions, and the worst plot twists since M. Night Shyamalan took a dive off the deep end. It was the worst show I had ever seen. And I couldn't stop watching it.

It was utterly fascinating to watch how low the show could go. It started off fairly okay, with an intriguing, albeit, immature story that appealed to the immature side of myself. But it spiraled into a hole of awfulness that was entrancing to behold. What poor choices would Serena van der Woodsen make next? Why was Vanessa Abrams one of the least likable characters in a show full of unlikable characters? Could these studs stop being studs for one moment and try exercising their brains for once in their lives?

It was a faint hope of mine that Gossip Girl would improve at all. (A show about spoiled, privileged high schoolers is clearly not destined to be the pinnacle of television.) Therefore, the only satisfaction I could draw from the show was witnessing its plunge into inanity (inanity is word which means nonsense or silliness). Read on if you are at all curious about Gossip Girl's descent or if you already know about it and you just want to return to those ghastly moments.

25 Youthful Spirits

via: gossipgirl.wikia.com

Actors often play characters that are way younger than their actual age. We see this all the time in high school movies. (You can't honestly think that hunkish men are juniors in high school looking that ripped.) Gossip Girl is no exception. The main characters all start the show as juniors at high school, even though they may not look it. As such, there is no way so many underage shenanigans should be going on. I know the show is dealing with rich Upper East Siders, but seriously! How many events can these supposedly sixteen- and seventeen-year olds attend? They even do things in front of their parents! (Admittedly during brunch, but come on, parents, the least you could do is try and be parental for a bit.)

24 The Long Con

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In a most soap opera-esque turn of events, William van der Woodsen, Serena's dad and Lily's ex-husband, appears on the show as Lily's doctor. He's treating her for cancer. Aside from the fact that it's totally weird that Lily's ex-husband is her doctor, it turns out that the whole thing was a trick.

Lily did not really have cancer.

William was giving her medicine that would keep her ill. Who does this?! If you haven't seen Gossip Girl, let me tell you that its episodes are populated with insane characters who do insane things for insane reasons. Supposedly, William wanted to get back together with Lily, and I guess he thought having her rely on him during her sickness was the way to go about it.

23 BFFs Forever

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The main characters of Gossip Girl do horrible things to each other. In each of their own special ways, they are all repugnant people. They talk smack about each other behind their backs, they humiliate each other in public, and yet, they still call each other "friend." I don't know what they think the definition of "friendship" is, but it's definitely not what I see between them on the show. They're constantly getting into and out of relationships with each other; I don't know how they can even remain cordial with each other afterwards. For example, Blair has, at some point, had a relationship with every male who is a main character. And somehow, everything is still hunky dory with everyone by the end of the show.

22 Amnesia: The Chuck Descent

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Do you know what's a totally overused plot point on a television show when you want one of your characters to have a bit of a do-over? You give a character amnesia. Gossip Girl decided to turn that formula on its head by giving Chuck Bass "fake amnesia." After getting shot, Chuck decides to fake his identity in order to get a new life in France.

He gets a new girlfriend complete with a new job.

They couldn't leave him there indefinitely, of course. Chuck gets dragged back to his old life and his old ways eventually. Here's a little bit of advice to future TV show writers. Fake amnesia is not better than real amnesia. In fact, it's actually a little bit worse. Chuck became a coward instead of a stereotype.

21 There's Just No Way

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Do you know how difficult it is to get published in The New Yorker? Let me put it to you this way: it's hard. Really hard. Even accomplished writers with prior publishing history can have a tough time getting their work to appear in this esteemed magazine. So there is NO WAY Dan Humphrey should have gotten some of his writing published there. NO WAY. I'm sorry for the all caps, but this is personally very irksome. I don't care how great his story was. There is absolutely, no possible way that this should have happened. It makes no sense that an inexperienced, shlumpy, stodgy, private school hipster was able to wow the editors at The New Yorker. I sound bitter, don't I? But hey, I'm not the only one who has a problem with this. Am I?

20 Good Grades, Bad Teachers

via: gossipgirl.wikia.com

Another nonsensical occurrence that happens more than one time in the show is when a main character starts getting close with a teacher. Serena van der Woodsen starts a relationship with her Colombia professor of Psychology of Business class. It ends after it runs its course.

And let's not forget Dan Humphrey's relationship with his teacher while he was still at high school.

A lot of young people watch Gossip Girl and they should bear in mind two things. One, teachers are not all extraordinarily good-looking. Gossip Girl always made a point of hiring especially attractive actors and actresses to portray their characters. Two, and more importantly, getting close with teachers is a major no-no. It's unethical and bad if you are a minor.

19 A Good Time For Attention

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When Serena is desperately trying to get her absentee father's attention, she employs the most nonsensical of tactics. She acts like a crazy, wild party-girl with the hope that getting her name in the tabloids will garner some notice from her dad. I'm going to go out on a limb here and assume that no father truly wants his daughter to be seen as a raging party animal. (Maybe William is the creepy exception, who knows?) But I'm pretty sure that there were better ways for Serena to find her father. She comes from a well-off family. She could have hired the best detectives in the country to find him. But of course, drama for the sake of drama is the mainstay of Gossip Girl.

18 Archaic Practices

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Dowries aren't something you see much of nowadays. A dowry is money that a bride's family has to pay a future husband in exchange for taking their girl off of their hands. Despite being set in an age when smartphones exist, Gossip Girl decides to keep the idea of a dowry alive and well. When Blair wishes to exit a marriage to this Prince she married (that's a whole other thing), a prenup she signed makes it extremely expensive for her to do. In essence, she has to pay the Prince an excessive amount of money if she wants to leave him. Sounds to me like something else. Always remember that Gossip Girl in its entirety is silliness wrapped in the trappings of a television show.

17 We Didn't Start The Fire

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The most logical thing to do when someone is trying to destroy something you love is to stop them. Jenny Humphrey, apparently, never learned this lesson. Jenny has been one of the most inconsistent characters on the show, surpassed only by Serena (and maybe Vanessa Abrams too).

During her I'm-a-gritty-fashion-designer-striking-out-on-my-own phase, she partners with another girl named Agnes Andrews.

The two girls get in a fight, and during the fight, Agnes takes some of Jenny's dresses to a trash can and burns them. All the while, Jenny just follows her, screaming for her to stop. Girl, if you wanted to stop Agnes, why not physically grab the dresses away from her instead of hovering near her and just shrieking like a banshee?

16 A License He Shouldn't Have

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In the third season, one of Chuck's main goals is opening up a club and obtaining a special license for it. Begging your pardon, but how does a nineteen-year-old boy get a license. You have to be twenty-one years at the very least, not only to enjoy, but to sell as well. Similar as to how SpongeBob SquarePants blurs the exact age of its characters (SpongeBob attends school, yet has a paying job too), Gossip Girl does this as well. However, if we base our assumptions about their ages on the first season, at which all of the main characters are juniors in high school, there is simply no possible way to have Chuck be twenty-one by the third season. If I've said it once, I've said it a thousand times. This show is pure absurdity.

15 A Spark To Remember

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Of all the people in Gossip Girl, Georgina Sparks was the dastardly gossiper that emulated all the messed-up ideals the show put forth to audiences. She was conniving and two-faced to the extreme. She was the true "enemy" during the first season, and perhaps one of the best things about it (and she accomplishes this by being the worst).

In the second season, her personality takes a sudden turn for the good when she finds religion.

Of all the things I didn't expect to happen, that was one of them. How could a person with such an innate talent for scheming attend bible camp?! Here is a perfect example of how the show seems to make a point of not making sense.

14 Fairy Tale Endings

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Princes and princesses exist. I know they do. But their inclusion in soap opera-like television shows is a corny trope we could do without. In real life, princes don't just stroll along and fall in love with happy-go-lucky girls they meet on the streets. (Do they?) Blair Waldorf gets her time in the royal sun when she meets Prince Louis, a Prince of Monaco. It makes total sense that Blair would jump at the chance to marry a prince.

She always thought she should be treated like royalty.

But it makes no sense that an available prince would just so happen to fall in love with this spoiled little rich girl from New York while she's traveling in France. Do these things just happen on a daily basis and I don't know about it?

13 Long Lost Cousin

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Sigh. Only on Gossip Girl could people have no clue what their cousin looks like. Charlotte Rhodes comes back into Serena's life after a long absence, but little does Serena know that this "Charlotte" is actually a paid actress named Ivy Dickens. (How do these show writers come up with these rich kid names?)

This charade goes on for several episodes.

When the real Charlotte Rhodes finally shows up, confusingly calling herself Lola, no one can believe that it's really her. How do you not know who your cousin is? Gosh, these Upper East Siders need on-hand DNA tests. Otherwise, they're liable to be taken advantage of by attractive scammers. (Also, only on Gossip Girl are scammers so good-looking.)

12 Big Bad Bart

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Characters on Gossip Girl tend to complicate things for no reason. Bart Bass, the cold, calculating father of Chuck, used to be the kind of guy who would complicate things for business reasons. He owned and operated Bass Industries. One of his later schemes is so complicated though, it can hardly be said to be a good business deal. Apparently, Bart bought and sold racing horses in order to cover up oil dealings in Sudan. And he hid a record of these dealings inside an expensive painting. Chuck and his friends go about uncovering this during several episodes, but all I could think while watching is that this storyline was needlessly complex and that no one in their right mind would hide records of illegal oil trading in a painting.

11 Tainted Love (Child)

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Any Gossip Girl fans reading this? If so, do any of you remember Scott Rosson? Scott was the child of Lily van der Woodsen and Rufus Humphrey, half-sibling to main characters Serena, Dan, and Jenny. You would think that with such impressive family credentials, Scott would have stuck around on the show. Nope! After all the drama and the fiasco of Scott's appearance, he just vanished from the show forever. Seriously, he shows up and is reunited with his parents, says he hopes to visit them again, and then he's just gone! I guess only a few of the Humphrey and van der Woodsen children are wanted on the show. Scott's disappearing act was just another trophy in Gossip Girl's Temporary Plots Hall of Fame.

10 It's Not A Helmet

via: gossipgirl.wikia.com

All of those rich kids on the show should get their vision checked. They can't seem to distinguish people they know from people they don't when only a bit of their faces are covered. The main characters decide to hold a masquerade (because why not) and one of the dress requirements is having one of those swanky face masks. But because of these masks, several of the characters get mistaken for other characters. I'm looking at you, Nate Archibald. All blondes do not look alike. There's such a thing as height differences, weight differences, and contrasting shapes of faces. Jenny does not look like Serena, and Serena does not look like Jenny. You should go get your smooch on somewhere else.

9 Doing It On A Dair

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For all you Dair fans out there, I'm sorry to say I'm not one of you. (But let's be honest, I'm not really a Gossip Girl fan either, so there.) Dan Humphrey and Blair Waldorf hated each other from the start. The moments when they were forced to get along were amusing, and their eventual friendship was kind of cute to witness at times too. But their relationship transformed faster than an Autobot from endearing to enraging as soon as they started dating. You know, a lot of these forced relationships would work a bit more smoothly if people just talked to each other honestly instead of lying all the time. But who am I kidding. All of these kids (and yes, I'm calling these characters "kids") are compulsive liars.

8 Truth And Consequences

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Chuck Bass (for some mystifying reason) is the charismatic ladies' man of the group. He knows his way around women better than I do, and I'm an actual woman. Given his prowess and the proclivity of men on this show to not use precautions, I'm astonished that Chuck Bass has never had a close encounter of the disease kind. His only real experience with this situation is when he needed some donated blood, and his evil uncle lied about giving his Hep C-riddled blood to him after a car crash. If Gossip Girl were to try and be a closer simulation of reality, Chuck would have run into bad luck by the first season.

7 News Flash

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I always felt kind of sorry for Nate. He was rarely one of the heavy schemers of the group. He seemed like the hapless follower who got dragged into situations because he had no real initiative of his own. Yet somehow, it's this guy who ends up becoming the editor-in-chief of his own newspaper. How? What? Why? Gossip Girl has a horrible habit of having these young, pretentious teens achieving monumentally difficult goals as easily as I could make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. In fact, give me one minute. There. I just made myself a PBJ. That's how easily and quickly Nate got himself this newspaper position. I know the show isn't aiming for realism, but these are perhaps some of their more annoying slips.

6 It's Alive!

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You want to know about another annoying soap opera trick that Gossip Girl played? They had a character fake his own passing. When Bart Bass got into a car crash, it was actually one of the better moments of the show. Chuck had had a complex relationship with his father, and his passing offered some great character development moments for Chuck.

Of course, the show couldn't leave good enough alone.

Bart Bass is found to be alive and well after having faked the crash in order to save his family from being targeted by one of his business competitors. A good old-fashioned phone call to a police department is not sufficient for a Bass. No, a Bass has to orchestrate his own demise in order to avoid peril.