Grand Theft Auto 5 is one of the most popular video games of all time. Rockstar Games threw everything but the kitchen sink into the development of this landmark title, which most people still consider to be one of the best games ever made. The sheer amount of fun that you can have in this massive sandbox is limitless, with player freedom playing a major role in making this title so infinitely engaging.
Of course, a big part of what makes this title so memorable is its amazing story mode, which features a bunch of endearing characters and a tight script full to the brim with hilarious and quotable lines. Here are some of the best quotes in Grand Theft Auto 5 that people will remember long after they've finished this amazing game.
Updated on July, 11 2023, by Ben Jessey: Grand Theft Auto 5 remains one of the best games in recent memory. And luckily for Xbox Game Pass subscribers, the title has once again landed on the service. This gives a new set of players a chance to experience its wonderful open-world gameplay and exceptional writing.
The writing is the focus of the list we wrote that highlights the best bits of dialogue the game provides. Amid all the talk about the game returning to Game Pass, we thought of some more lines that deserve to be among the best GTA 5 quotes. So, we've now added them to the list.
16 "At Least Respect What You Do, Who You Are. If You Let That Idiot Die, You A Bigger A**hole Than I Thought." - Tanisha Jackson
Tanisha might not feature much in the game, but she is an important character from Franklin's past. She left him because she couldn't live the gang life he was living. Late in the game, the former lovers come face-to-face when she asks him to save Lamar, who is currently in peril.
At this point in the story, Franklin has changed as he's making more money and has left his old life behind. He also wants to leave Lamar behind until Tanisha delivers this great quote encouraging Franklin not to forget who he really is.
15 "Go To College. Then You Can Rip People Off And Get Paid For It. It’s Called Capitalism." - Michael De Santa
Making fun of society is a common practice in GTA 5, and this quote is one of the best examples. When Franklin wants help to raise his profile in the criminal world, Michael suggests going to college instead so he can get a fancy job and legally rip people off.
It's a hilarious jab at capitalism that isn't too far from the truth. Plus, it's an early example of the cynical view Michael has of the modern world.
14 "God Help The Morally Bankrupt Planet Your Generation Have Left Us If You’re The Good Guy." - Jimmy De Santa
Jimmy De Santa is one of the most unlikable characters in Grand Theft Auto 5 as he's an entitled young man who blames his lack of accomplishments on his father. Yet, he does provide plenty of funny and sometimes insightful lines throughout the game.
One example comes when he responds to Michael's claim that he once thought of himself as a good guy. This is despite all the killing, lying, and robbing he's done throughout his criminal days. Jimmy correctly points out how screwed the world would be if Michael was considered a good person.
13 "I'm Sorry, Man. You Have Been True With Me. But The Truth Ain't What I'm Interested In." — Franklin Clinton
Without going into spoilers, this quote is part of a big story moment. Franklin is tired. He has seen and done so much since the beginning of the game that he feels exhausted when he realizes what things are looking like for the near future.
This is also a remarkable moment for the great character because there aren't many instances where he's acting by himself. Even if you could argue that he's following other's from someone else, he actually thought about this before acting.
12 "Hipsters Love Saying They Hate Hipsters." — Michael De Santa
In one of several heated discussions between Michael and Trevor, they are discussing whether Trevor is a hipster or not. Well, only Michael is saying that while his partner is slowly becoming more and more furious as each second passes.
This brief dialogue is full of laughable bits, but the quote selected is simply one of the best. It's a futile argument that just works while also being stupid. Michael can really be an annoying gentleman when you give him the chance. (Not that Trevor is a saint, mind you.)
11 "What Kinda F***** Animal Do You Take Me For? No, I Didn't Kill Him! [...] But I Did Kidnap His Wife." — Trevor Phillips
Trevor didn't like working for Martín Madrazo, the businessman who's the leader of a drug cartel. The protagonist gets a bit too angry when he doesn't receive the money he was waiting for after a tough day of work.
Michael is waiting for him to arrive, knowing that something went wrong. He's very concered once Trevor turns up in Madrazo's vehicle. When Trevor says that he did something to Martín, Michael worries that he has killed him. However, what really happened was unexpected.
10 "Surviving Is Winning, Franklin. Everything Else Is Bull****. Fairy Tales Spun By People Afraid To Look Life In The Eye." — Michael De Santa
This quote lets people understand Michael's psyche. He's been pushed against a wall so many times that his entire worldview has been warped into a 'kill or be killed' mentality.
That being said, there is some poignancy in this line that he tells Franklin during his unofficial mentorship. It's a line that Franklin agrees with as well, and understandably so.
9 "Oh, My N-Word!" — Trevor Phillips
Trevor Phillips is one of the most entertaining characters in Grand Theft Auto 5. His psychotic charisma breathes new life into every scene and makes him a major highlight of the experience.
One of these memorable scenes is when Trevor tries to greet Franklin and jumps over the fence... only to trip and fall. This causes Franklin to laugh and Trevor to flare up in anger, which is made even better when people realize that this scene was completely improvised by the mo-cap actors when Steven Ogg (Trevor's actor) actually and unintentionally tripped on the fence while filming this scene!
8 "Hypocrisy, Civilization's Greatest Virtue." — Michael De Santa
Michael has several poignant lines scattered across Grand Theft Auto 5. It makes sense given that he's supposed to be the most experienced and level-headed out of all three protagonists.
This line about hypocrisy is pretty fitting and gives players some insight into Michael's cynical mindset. It's one of the many reasons why this character is so beloved... along with the other two protagonists as well, of course.
7 "Then All Of A Sudden Your Legs Give In And You Just Can’t Run No More." — Franklin Clinton
The ending of Grand Theft Auto 5 allows players to either kill Trevor or Michael, aside from the Deathwish ending that's obviously canon. If Franklin decides to kill his mentor, then he utters this line before finishing Michael off.
It's a pretty powerful scene, especially given the fact that Michael says a version of this line to Franklin during the game as well! Moments like these show just how well-written Grand Theft Auto 5 really is.
6 "I Said Something Nice, Not Something Expensive." — Trevor Phillips
Trevor performs a surprising act of generosity when he gives some money to Franklin's aunt out of nowhere so that she could buy something 'nice'. Denise is initially quite elated... until she realizes that Trevor gave her a grand total of $7.
This leads to Trevor uttering this memorable line. He really is a crazy and unpredictable maniac indeed... but that's one of the major reasons why he's a fan favorite.
5 "You Forget A Thousand Things Every Day Pal. Make Sure This Is One Of 'Em." — Michael De Santa
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This is one of the most important lines uttered by Michael since it's a trademark statement of his. It also kickstarts the main plot of Grand Theft Auto 5 when Michael repeats this statement during a later heist in the series.
It's only after Trevor hears this line on the news that he finds out that Michael is alive. This leads to him heading all the way to Los Santos to track down his ex-partner in crime once again.
4 "You Tell Me Exactly What You Want, And I Will Very Carefully Explain To You Why It Cannot Be." — Simeon Yetarian
Before venturing into a life of crime, Franklin was working at a car dealership under the thumb of Simeon Yetarian. Simeon might be a vile character, and this particular statement is indicative of this.
In a way, his statement shows just how fragile the aspirations of a person can really be. Idealism is great and all, but reality is a cruel mistress that doesn't really let many people achieve their dreams.
3 "Yeah, Whatever, Dog. It’s Either This Or Dealing Dimebags. The Bullets Come Crackin’ At Yo Ass Either Way. — Franklin Clinton
In a way, Franklin was going to veer into a life of crime regardless of whether he wanted to or not. His own aunt put so much pressure on him to become a gang banger in the first place!
Ultimately, he accepts his fate when Michael states that nothing good would come from engaging with him. After all, Franklin knows that money needs to come in some way or the other, and if putting his life on the line is required to enjoy these luxuries... then so be it.
2 "Why Did I Move Here? I Guess It Was the Weather." — Michael De Santa
One of the most iconic lines in Grand Theft Auto 5 comes in the game's brilliant trailer. It's the first thing Michael says before players get to see the sprawling landscapes of Los Santos for the first time.
This quote a great way to introduce one of the biggest and most fleshed-out open worlds in gaming history. The fact that people still remember this amazing line shows just how iconic and groundbreaking Grand Theft Auto 5 really was.
1 "Maybe If You Got Rid Of That Yee-Yee Ass Haircut You Got You'll Get Some B****** On Your D***." — Lamar Davis
It would be impossible to talk about the best quotes in Grand Theft Auto 5 without mentioning this absolute masterpiece. Lamar Davis is one of the most entertaining characters in the game who never fails to unleash a tirade of jabs and insults whenever he's pushed into a corner.
The fact that this amazing rant is meant to reveal the barbershops present in the game shows just how much love and effort was put into this title. To this day, the phrase 'yee-yee ass haircut' still elicits a chuckle from fans, and is one of the most famous gaming quotes.