Nothing in life is certain except death, taxes, and the fact that Grand Theft Auto (GTA) V will somehow be a top selling game despite having been released in 2013. GTA’s impact on the video game industry and community can’t be overstated and, years after the fact, this game still holds a place in our hearts and disc drives. While fans remember the franchise most for its console releases, a lot of my GTA experience came from handheld titles for the PSP: like Liberty City Stories. However, regardless of the platform, for many of us, GTA was one of our first entries into the world of truly more mature rated games: the kind that checked every box for what the ESRB considered 17+. Violence, illegal substances, crime, profanity, you name it, GTA had it. Sure there was a story and a set of missions but more often than not I’d pick up the controller and just cause mayhem. Before the world of trophies and achievements we’d create our own challenges: who can last the longest with five stars, who can create the most mayhem with a rocket launcher, who can drive the furthest without changing vehicles.
Any good open world game is going to create fun, individual player stories and GTA is no exception. But there are universal experiences in the GTA universe that all of us can relate to: whether you’ve enjoyed every installment or haven’t carjacked someone since San Andreas. We’ve left no stone unturned and no vehicle in tact to craft this list of comics and memes of all too real GTA commentary:
19 GTA radio's fire
I loved every game that created this problem for me. I’m a sucker for a good radio stations and GTA had some of the best. It’s kind of basic of me, I know. As far as video game music goes, radio stations playing real life hits doesn’t exactly require much creativity and can’t compare to original video game scores. But as someone who often mutes games entirely to put on my own music I loved how GTA, and other games like it, already had that music playing.
For a moment, you’d feel that same excitement you’d feel in real life when a great song comes on. You just want to drive and enjoy it, or at least wait for it to be done. These moments in GTA were fun and immersive and those are two major goals for any video game.
Not to mention the talk radio shows they had on the dial. Sometimes I stuck around for those as well. Sadly enough they were pretty accurate to what actual talk radio seems to offer: a lot of enthusiasm and very questionable content.
18 Haircut Up
Every game approaches character customization differently. Some just make it a selection screen, others involve you looking in a mirror, and many take the GTA route of “getting your hair done.” Of course, this is merely a guise for customization, so it’s possible to leave with more hair than you came in with. It’s not at all logical but it’s a reality we’ve come to accept, embrace even. This isn’t solely a Grand Theft Auto issue and I get it, right? It’s a video game so suspension of disbelief is kind of a requirement. Still, the idea that you can go into a salon or barber shop bald and leave with a full head of hair is pretty ridiculous.
Extensions, plugs, or wigs, sure. But you’re telling me someone takes a pair of scissors to my scalp and the result is I come out with more hair. And to be honest, of all the reality breaking features that exist in video games this is might be the one I’m more envious of. Haircuts are usually pressure filled, irreversible experiences. But in the world of GTA, you’re just toggling through and can get a sense of exactly what you’d look like before being stuck that way forever.
Comic by Mart Virkus.
17 How GTA was born
It’s not a flaw if you flaunt it! One of the things people appreciate the most about the GTA franchise is the chaos and the wonkiness that can flourish within the game’s parameters (intentional or otherwise). This is where bugs come in. Rockstar certainly isn’t the studio most known for bugs (looking at you Bethesda) but it’s definitely part of its reputation across the internet. Luckily, it’s not in a negative way.
In terms of game design, not all bugs are created equal.
Some bugs can ruin player experiences completely or worse, permanently make the game unplayable. I experienced this first hand while trying to play Batman: The Telltale Series on Nintendo Switch and I’m still bitter about it. But some bugs are just good fun. At their best, bugs can even inspire a development team to pursue ideas they otherwise may not have thought of. Bugs can take everyone by surprise, from odd AI responses to clipping, the results can be hilarious. Lastly, they can create opportunities for gamers. Without bugs and glitches, the landscape of speed runs would look drastically different. While bugs are technically errors these flaws quickly become features; it’s just about shifting your frame of mind.
Comic by SandSerif.
16 Stealth or stupid?
Another common trope in video games is stealth that isn’t very stealthy. It doesn’t take much to be evasive in game universes.
This comic explores the many franchises this holds true for. It sarcastically reads: “4 games that can’t handle your mad stealth skills.” While this is stated in jest, who among us hasn’t felt the satisfaction of very clumsily getting away with our mission in a game. When it comes to GTA specifically, the fact that walking down the street with a rocket launcher in hand arouses no suspicion is insane but continues the trend of lack of realism resulting in amusing moments.
It reminds me of all the other times in GTA where the game universe is completely clueless to what you’re doing, despite you being the focal point of the campaign’s action. For instance, holding a gun to a shop owner, who then raises their hands, but the second you put it away they act as if the incident never occurred. Or the fact that you can commit major crimes while food cart workers stand there completely unphased. Granted, food cart workers are some of the hardest working people around so maybe that part isn’t entirely unrealistic.
Comic by Mart Virkus.
15 I don’t need it
Behold: Nintendo Switch owners everywhere. Grand Theft Auto V is the most beloved game in the franchise, has earned enormous success, and has found a home on pretty much every platform. Currently available on PS3, Xbox 360, PS4, Xbox One, and Microsoft Windows one brand is notably missing from the bunch, Nintendo. It’s no surprise that the game has yet to find its way to the family friendly platform but with the recent success of the Nintendo Switch and the desperate cries of fans for more ports of modern hits: Grand Theft Auto V is on most people’s minds. And for good reason.
It’s 2018 and people are still talking about GTA V.
People are still asking it to come to their preferred platform. And people are still picking up this game for the first time. GTA V truly is transcendent. So yes, if you’re a gamer you need it. The same way SpongeBob needed that water. The GTA V hype isn’t going away so it’ll catch you eventually. It’s been building up since that initial release in 2013; here we are five years later and it’s still a topic of conversation.
14 Is this noticeable?
Continuing along the lines of stealth, a large component of Grand Theft Auto involves evading the police. At the same time, another component of GTA involves making countless larger than life moves. These two things are in opposition to each other but therein lies the challenge of anyone who makes a living off criminal activity. Still, GTA takes it pretty far in terms of its grandiosity. From your vehicles to your array of weapons to your general behavior: it’s your world and everyone else is just living in it. Lowkey just isn’t on the table. Honestly, as much as people joke about the lack of real stealth in the game, would you really want the cops to stop you every single time you're about to start having fun? The game would totally lose its charm.
Grand theft auto is the act of stealing cars; in GTA, this theft is executed in broad daylight by literally tossing civilians out of their vehicle and then driving away. There is no subtlety here. Luckily, it’s just a video game and you can get away with being as extra as you want (or need) to be.
13 Run!
When they zig you gotta zag! Everyone thinks to keep driving away when bullets are firing at you but you can totally change the game by heading for the hills on your own two feet. No one will expect it (because it makes so little sense), but, like with many things, in the GTA world it’s completely sound. While a vehicle is sturdier, faster, and overall the logical choice when avoiding gunfire: these cars get wrecked with just a few hits. What was once a form of safety and shelter from the elements and your enemies quickly becomes a ticking time bomb. Ditching your car allows you to avoid that explosion and, somehow, just makes you a harder target to hit. Duck and weave friends, duck and weave.
They say the best things in life are simple and escaping danger in GTA is satisfying because it makes so little sense.
While “run!” is usually a last second directive given when times are most dire, in GTA it’s plan A. Open up your door and gun it on foot. It’s just you and the open road. Run into direct traffic, weave frantically left and right in an extremely predictable pattern, hide behind a lamp post: somehow it all works out in the end.
12 Everyday Use
Everyday use. It’s the classic debate all of us have had at some point or another. From expensive outfits to valuable silverware to rare collectibles: we love our possessions but sometimes we love them so much that we fail to actually enjoy them. We find ourselves asking is this prized possession something I should use or is it so wonderful that I should store it away/put it on display so it lasts forever?
The same happens in video games (art imitates life I guess). In GTA this takes the form of cars. Who among us doesn’t appreciate a nice whip? But it’s too nice to drive on our day to day basis so the result is dull, unexciting storage. It’s fun to get the car, it’s cool to have the car, but I’m never going to drive the car. And at the point I find myself asking what the point of all this was.
Then I see another great car and the cycle continues. But there are people who still have complete sets of amiibo and they’re still in the original packaging so I’m in good company amongst gamers. At least the car in GTA was easy to hunt down.
11 You drive then
Criticism is easy; execution is hard. From backseat driving to backseat gaming, it’s frustrating when someone chastises you while refusing to take your place and (allegedly) show you how it’s done. In the case of GTA: these two eye-rolling moments combine to make one frustrating experience. Characters will complain how you drive while still making you drive everywhere.
The extra salt on the wound is the fact that driving in GTA has always been a bit of a nightmare. Normally, it wouldn’t be much of an issue because it’s all in good fun but when the mission is contingent upon driving… that’s an issue.
If you’re looking for a smooth commute in GTA, it’s just not going to happen.
Let’s just say the mechanics and most people’s playstyle are more in line with Crazy Taxi than Forza Horizon. Some of these driving missions become a chore in themselves. On top of that, it’s hard not to let the lack of gratitude get to you. But at the end of the day, I’m here to do my job. So shut up and let me drive or feel free to take the wheel I never wanted to begin with.
10 GTA boredom
As I mentioned earlier, when I first got my hands on Grand Theft Auto it was all about exploring the world and inciting mayhem. One of my favorite things to do was to have fun with the cops and see how long I could survive with a high rating. It was always a thrill to be pursued by a fleet of police officers. Whenever I took on these self-made challenges I knew there was no way to really make it out alive but loving every second of survival I could grasp.
So I'm very sorry to all those virtual men and women in blue who got involved in my insanity for the sake of my own practice or got hit out of my own intentional recklessness. Everyday they put their life on the line to serve, protect, and inevitably respawn to make the community a little safer. This usually involves putting me behind bars only to release me the very next day. Sometimes my spree wasn’t even out of boredom. Sometimes walking into the street and starting stuff was just more appealing than the mission(s) I was given. But either way, I’m grateful for the experience.
9 Giant file sizes
This. Absolutely this. While content definitely takes priority in terms of game development these file sizes are absolutely brutal. As someone who buys physical copies (unless the games are digital only), you’d think I’d have to deal with this less, but no. At this point, discs are just a key to unlock digital content. Throw in patches and DLCs on top of that and sometimes I feel like I need a whole other console just to have a space to store all this data.
I’m sure the publisher/developer does their best on this account and, as someone who isn’t on the technical side of the field, I won’t pretend to know the work it’d take to do this or why it might not really be possible: but damn, these file sizes are massive. It’s definitely one of the hidden costs of gaming. You can always get a console model with more memory but if you don’t, sooner or later you’ll have to purchase a memory card or an external hard drive. Pay now or pay later. Either way I’m sure GTA VI will be a behemoth as well. No one works harder than my hard drive at this point.
8 Casual
We’ve seen this sentiment before and it’s a blatant fact of Grand Theft Auto life: you really can stroll around wielding weapons as freely as you like. You can get away with a lot in this game but this seems like a massive red flag. First of all, where did you even get that from? It’s not even a standard weapon. Still, no one says a word until you actually do something with it.
It’s almost as if cops in GTA just assume you have the best intentions.
I’m not hurting anyone with my massive array of weapons… yet. I’m just out for a stroll, a law abiding citizen casually walking my rocket-propelled grenade. But I guess when we really break things down, analytically, everything starts to fall apart. Cops may not really “see” me waving a RPG in their face but they can sense any crime I commit even when they’re miles away. Sounds like a fair trade off even if scenes like this do look rather silly. In this image, the cop doesn’t do so much as glance at the player. Bigger fish to fry, I suppose. But then again, you can’t get too much bigger than a rocket-propelled grenade.
7 The Road Less Traveled
From a young age we’re taught the importance of making our own path. It was the poet Robert Frost who once wrote: “Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— / I took the one less traveled by, / And that has made all the difference.” It’s a beautiful thought and a potent metaphor but take it literally and everyone wants you to get off the road cause your driving is endangering everyone on the road. See how quickly we ignore our adventurous spirits the second a little resistance appears.
And sure, games have roads already paved. But much like the sidewalks on a college campus they’re more suggestions than set rules. Look at this winding road: it’s scenic and organized but not practical in terms of travel time. Why wind your way to your destination when you can make a B-line for it? Plus, when you’re not familiar with your route you spend a lot of time staring at the map or compass just to make sure you’re going in the right direction. Just getting to where you need to go is a win. Being asked to also take the roads themselves into account on top of that becomes a tall order.
6 Wholesome GTA
For starters, King of the Hill is such an underrated show. Although this isn’t specifically using any particular game it involves the lead character, Hank Hill, playing a violent video game on par with the likes of GTA. This is a character with a strong moral fiber, a textbook goody goody. So of course his reaction to a game with outlandish violence is not just to stop this violence but opt to face the consequences of it.
Hank would love playing a cop in GTA Online.
As I mentioned before GTA is a lawless game. You have to love the chaos and find joy/accomplishment from virtually committing crimes. Anyone who can’t find the fun amongst the M-rated madness isn’t going to have a good time with GTA, at least, not at first. When you really engage with the campaign you’ll find a lot more than senseless violence. But at first glance, the content of GTA can be a major turn off for players. In fact, it’s something that caused me to fall off the franchise for a while. While the violence of GTA is right up the alley of a lot of gamers, ones who are hesitant should give it a try anyway; they’ll be pleasantly surprised.
5 An Unstoppable Force
Whether it takes dozen of bullet hits to kill you or you have extreme acrobatic abilities: most games have some element of power fantasy to them. Which is to say players are made to feel strong and free. In video games you can do things you’d never be able to do in real life and for a lot of people that’s the appeal.
GTA is no exception to this rule. Obviously you’d never be able to fly off ramps, carjack as a means of transit, or bail yourself out after going on after demolishing half a city. Yet GTA has a few moments where the player is extremely underpowered, case and point, bushes.
You can run over people and mailboxes all you want, but come into contact with a bush and you’ll come to a screeching halt. It’s like running into a cement wall. In a game where the lack of realism usually favors the player’s power and options: it’s amusing and oddly refreshing to see something stop them that wouldn’t in real life. What a wacky role reversal.
4 We have a Trevor
This one has layers to its nerdiness. Avengers fans will recognize this as a play on the original lines: “I have an army / we have a Hulk.” Here that’s been swapped out for we have a Trevor, referencing one of the three main protagonists of GTA V. Once again this speaks to the power players have in GTA, not just in relation to the game but because of the characters.
Here, Trevor’s power is equated to that of the Hulk. He’s a destructive, seemingly unstoppable force and that’s the level of power you’d need to survive in the GTA universe. Because while we’ve already established there’s a lot you can get away with, it’s also clear that there’s a lot you have to go up against in this campaign. But you’ll be fine. After all, you have a Trevor.
A lot of these comics and memes have poked fun at how oblivious the cops are, but they go from 0 to 100 shockingly quick. The cops don’t just arrest you; they completely destroy you. They also have no concern for the rest of the public’s safety when they’re in pursuit. When they come after you it’s as if you’re the only person that exists in the GTA universe.
This makes sense when you think about it. As the lead character, you really are the nucleus of the whole game. Still, you’d think the cops could start off with a more delicate approach and work their way up.
3 Character types
Trevor is great alongside his cast of other colorful characters. But all mediums of storytelling have archetypes and video games are no exception. Here, the creator of this comic breaks down the cliches and nonsensical elements behind each character. Michael De Santa is revealed as a stone cold criminal with a caveat (for some reason). Franklin Clinton may be powerful and intimidating, but never seems to stand up for himself in terms of his identify (not what we’d expect). And that brings us to Trevor who is described as a vessel for the writers’ “leftover ideas,” making him a sort of catch all character.
This isn’t an indictment on the story itself; rather, it’s a criticism to consider.
Often writers attempt to make these characters dynamic but sometimes their actions aren’t always consistent with the other elements of their personality. Other times they feel thrown together. It's Rockstar's first attempt at having multiple protagonists in a single game, so maybe we should cut them a little slack, but that doesn't mean there wasn't glaring holes in all of their backstories.
2 Weapon storage
The rocket launcher is probably one of the most joked about weapons online: probably because it’s ridiculously grandiose and rarely actually needed in the game. Weapon storage has always been an enigma in video games. Clearly characters can pretty much never hold the amount of items in their inventory: even when the inventory is limited to increase the realism and/or challenge of the game. Even today, when playing a new game like God of War, you'll pick up hundreds of items throughout the game and pay no mind as to where they actually go after you grab them.
Still, there’s something particularly hilarious about the idea of putting a rocket launcher into your pocket or tucking it away on your person. At least with smaller weapons, cash, etc it’s a bit more feasible that you could carry those things (albeit not at once) because they’re all things meant to be carried to some extent. But the casual use of the rocket launcher in GTA and other over the top weapons never ceases to be a bold move.
1 Rare to regular
Back to cars, this is Grand Theft Auto after all and we can fall in love with virtual vehicles the same way we can be drawn to any item on display. Sometimes they can take a while to track down, but when you finally do it’s sweet. However, almost as if to imitate real life, once you have it you see it everywhere. Have you ever had this feeling in real life? You just got a brand new car and are driving it off the lot for the first time. Then, after a couple of blocks, you see the same car in a different color. Then you see it again, and again, and again, to the point that you wonder if you've lost your mind or entered another reality where people only have the same car as you to torture you.
In real life, it’s just about the car becoming more recognizable to you. But in GTA it feels like a personal act of disrespect. Really? It’s everywhere all of a sudden? Where was it when I actually needed it? And therein lies the troll genius of the move.
But hey, what’s GTA without a little good humored fun.