Though Rockstar games certainly do their best to emulate the real world as accurately as they can, daily life in Liberty City and Los Santos can often be beyond bizarre. Sure, it definitely isn’t easy to craft a living, breathing, realistic world that operates exactly as intended—just ask Bethesda. Yet, for every gorgeous sunset or scenic skyline, the Grand Theft Auto series seems to offer an equal amount of puzzling AI and vehicle physics that would drive an engineer crazy.
While the games nearly predate popular use of the internet, the world wide web just loves to laugh at some of the ridiculous occurrences in the GTA games. While the first two entries in the series were relatively grounded due to their top-down perspective, subsequent titles have thrown caution to the wind and afforded many a Vice City or Blaine County native a good laugh. The world of Grand Theft Auto is a hilarious parody of our own, but probably in more ways than intended by the game’s developers. Cops hardly bat an eye at a man walking down the street with a rocket launcher slung across his shoulder, but they’ll call in the military if you accidentally dent one of their bumpers. The logic may be insane, but it’s made for some quality memes that we find almost too funny for words.
25 Why Don't YOU Drive, Then!?
While most GTA players treat traffic laws like mere suggestions when they get behind the wheel, it is kind of weird that no one outside of the local police force ever tries to do anything about it. You could have driven, Roman, but you insisted that I pick you up. Now here we are, surrounded by cops, four stars on our heads, and the car ablaze in a ditch. You really could have just driven this time. You have absolutely no right to complain. Some NPCs will even complain about something as petty as speeding or driving against the flow of traffic. Sure, if you want to get there late, I guess I could follow the rules.
But we’re criminals, and time is money.
You put me behind the wheel; you must have known what you were getting into. If anything goes horribly wrong, I can just restart the mission or reload the save.
24 Tank Vs. Tree... And The Tree Wins?
Offhand, I’m not sure what Newton’s laws are, but I’m sure that one of them must state that, for every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction, unless there is a tree involved. The streetlight and stop signs of the GTA universe are probably constructed from graphite.
The trees that line the sides of nearly every suburban road in this series are absolutely indestructible.
A car, tank, or low flying jet can come barreling down at them , and they’ll escape the encounter without a scratch. Seriously, I would hope that the top secret military jet I spend half an hour trying to steal from Fort Zancudo might have a bit more of an impact on the local plant life. They say that cockroaches are the only living things that could survive a nuclear apocalypse, but whoever coined that phrase clearly forgot about the trees in Grand Theft Auto.
23 Could You Repeat That?
Another meme specific to Grand Theft Auto IV, Little Jacob is well known amongst players for his bizarre speech patterns. While he offers a profitable, yet difficult method of earning money by way of narcotics trafficking, he isn’t exactly much for conversation. He talks a whole lot, but he’s almost impossible to understand, at times. Turning on the game’s subtitles may help to get the message across, but even a transcript of what he’s saying doesn’t help to figure out what he’s on about.
While his Jamaican dialect may be endearing to some, it’s certainly off-putting to others. I don’t want to upset you, Jacob, but you’re going to have to run that by me again… and a couple more times after that.
22 What A Deal!
While owning a car can definitely be liberating in its own right, vehicles almost always come with astronomical maintenance fees. Just about everyone knows the pain of hopping in the car only to contend with a troublesome starter or a dead battery. And, when even minor repairs can cost hundreds of dollars, we really wish we could head to the local Los Santos Customs for a quick tune-up.
In most entries in Rockstar's world-renowned video game franchise, the player can roll the twisted, flaming wreckage of their car into the garage and, moments later, drive out with a pristine ride with nary a dent in their wallet. Of course, if you're too broke for Los Santos Customs, I suppose you could just jack the nearest parked car, or head up to Vinewood and steal something classier than you had in the first place. If you’re more of the fitness type, I’m sure you can find a bike lying around.
21 I'll Steal That Jet Eventually...
For a top-secret military location, Fort Zancudo is rather conspicuously placed. I’m sure that forethought isn’t the strong suit of civil engineers in Grand Theft Auto, but building a massive highway directly underneath a military base doesn’t seem like a great idea. What’s more, it is strange that the government would bother with wrapping the area in a giant fence, as the base is literally set up right next to a ramp which offers a near-perfect success rate, when it comes to vaulting.
All too often, I’m faced with a long, boring journey up to Blaine County from Los Santos. That's when I get a sudden need to hijack multimillion dollar military technology. How could I possibly resist that urge? I’m only human, after all. I could also do without the instant four-star alert for trespassing. I’ll get my hands on that tank, no matter how many times you blow me up.
20 I May Not Be A Scientist, But I'm Pretty Sure That's Not How It Works
As previously mentioned, the physics in Rockstar signature series can be weird. It often contributes to the hilarity of the game, but players are usually left scratching their heads as a meeting between two sports cars lead to one launching off of the other like a ramp. It seems particularly ridiculous given that most cars in the games can survive a trip down Mt. Chiliad.
Of all of the games in the series, the fourth instalment appears to handle head-on collisions the best. At high speeds, the player will be ejected through the windshield of the vehicle. Now, sure, it doesn’t make much sense that you can immediately walk away from the crash, but at least they’re making an attempt to represent what would happen in the real world. You really need to put a seat belt on, Niko. Don’t you know that it’s the law?
19 Hey, Cousin! Want To Go Bowling?
This is an infamous one for anyone who has endured past the five minute mark of GTA IV. Hanging out with friends isn’t exactly a groundbreaking or particularly enthralling concept, but the game definitely takes it a bit far. Not only could you spend a night on the town with your buddies, but they could call you and ask to meet up.
Now, that might sound like a good time, but not they when ask to go bowling.
What’s worse is that, if the player chooses to turn down their offer, a friendship may slowly deteriorate into bitter animosity. Eventually, it turns into something of a chore—taking Roman bowling for the five hundredth time can be a bit of a drag. You desperately need to find more friends, Roman.
18 You Are Violating My Personal Space!
NPCs in the Grand Theft Auto series really enjoy their personal space. So much so that if you dare to stand next to them for even a few seconds, they’ll become enraged and either attempt to fight the player, run away, or even call the cops. The only viable option to avert this situation is to take a page out of Spongebob Squarepants’ playbook.
Simply whisper: “Excuse me, sir. I hope my horrible ugliness won’t be a distraction to you.”
All right, so the game doesn’t actually let you do that, though anything is possible thanks to GTA V’s healthy modding community. The only real recourse to an unwanted police presence is to take out the NPC before they can ring the boys in blue. Of course, that’ll probably get the attention of more bystanders, who will then have to be dealt with before they, too, call the cops. I’m beginning to see why Trevor is so suspicious of everyone.
17 Really Earning Their Pay
EMTs in Rockstar’s world are extremely dedicated to their jobs. So dedicated, they don’t even stop and wait for pedestrians to get out of the way as they speed toward their next target. I assume they mean well, but ambulance drivers in GTA really ought to go back to driver’s ed. They cause more problems than they solve pretty much every time they are dispatched.
Plus, I’m probably just going to steal the ambulance and go for a joy ride.
Beyond that, what could they possibly doing for that recently deceased person? Do theyfeed him a chicken sandwich? I suppose it is true that medicine is so advanced in the GTA universe that they have the ability to revive the dead, but I was hoping that was a special privilege that reserved solely for me.
16 Use Your Turn Signals, People!
NPCs on the side of the road may be a bit panicky and unpredictable, but they showcase a kind of symbiosis only seen in honeybees, when they are behind the wheel. We may never quite be sure of where they are going or why they’re on the road in the first place. But as long as the player keeps their cool and drives like a fairly normal human being, the game allows a realistic traffic flow.
Of course, things get a bit out of control when the player attempts to land a commercial aircraft on a highway.
That is to be expected, but NPCs also aren’t sure how to react when the player does absolutely nothing at all. Though it can be hilarious, I would estimate that something similar would happen if a few cars decided to block an intersection in the real world.
15 He's Crossing The Bridge! Take Him Down!
It’s never stated, but some of the protagonists in the GTA series seem to be on very strict parole; any violation results in incredibly aggressive punishment. Series veterans will recall what happens if they managed to sneak into a section of the game which they weren’t yet meant to see. It may have been fun exploring the game’s walled-off portion, but, upon doing so, the police will come down on you with a force akin to the asteroid that wiped out the dinosaurs.
I realize that American immigration policies can be strict, but you would think they would at least let poor Niko Bellic roam around the city as he pleases. The only way I have ever managed to escape into a sectioned-off area of the game and survive was by driving around Liberty City’s subway tunnels, which wasn’t exactly the scenic tour I had planned.
14 What Could He Be Up To Now?
If there’s one wild card that players can always expect in Grand Theft Auto V, it’s the indomitable Trevor. While Franklin and Michael are usually in logical locations, Trevor spends his time getting himself into the most ridiculous situations possible.
The dude literally sniffs gasoline and attacks rednecks for fun.
Trevor can be found lying intoxicated in a dumpster, discussing government conspiracies with his friends, or engaged in a police shootout clad in nothing but his tighty whities. We all know that Trevor is pretty out-there, even for Grand Theft Auto standards—and we’ve met people who inject bullshark testosterone and claim to have seen aliens. If he isn’t the craziest character in all of video game history, well, I don’t know if I want to see the competition.
13 Don't Mess With The Cops
Not to perpetuate a millennial lingual stereotype, but the cops in GTA have absolutely no chill. They may simply bust you when your wanted level is low enough, but most of the time, surrender is not an option.
That can be kind of a drag since police chases sometimes spiral into hour-long campaigns of madness.
Dealing with the police force is a mainstay of GTA titles, but like anything, it does get a bit old after a while. Seriously, I only ran over, like, five pedestrians. You really don’t need to be rolling out tanks and deploying an endless stream of roadblocks. I’m not sure what the cops are really expecting to happen when they block a road with their cruisers after I’ve demolished enough vehicles to fill a parking lot. You’re not going to stop me, and, even if you do, escape is only a simple cheat code away.
12 Don't Do The Crime If You Can't Do The... Wait A Second...
While I think this cartoon likely rose to popularity for skimpy outfits rather than for humorous content, the reasoning behind this clip holds true. Unlike the real world, GTA offers almost no penalty for even the most heinous of atrocities. The player can literally spend in-game days on a ravenous, crazy spree of destruction and violence, and they’ll get about three hours worth of jail time and maybe a fine.
GTA protagonists can spend their lives pretending to be Jason Statham in Crank, and there’ll be hardly any penalty. In fact, there may as well not be one. I don’t understand why the police even bother to do their jobs when a man’s criminal record has absolutely no bearing on his debt to society.
11 Would You Leave Me And My Rocket Launcher Alone?
In all seriousness, the precision and ferocity of the LCPD, LSPD or VCPD is totally bewildering. They are some of the most ruthless crime fighters outside of Gotham City, and the result of their efforts keep the madmen off the streets for at least one afternoon.
I admire their dedication, but I fail to understand it.
Just because I was walking down the street brandishing a Bazooka earlier doesn’t mean that I caused that explosion. In fact, I was aiming for the crowd of people to the right of the car, so it really isn’t my fault. That said, their interest in the perpetrator may only be maintained as long as he stays within sight. If he lays low for even a few moments, the cops will give up surprisingly quickly.
10 Well, I Got Bored. What Do You Expect?
This is a classic trope for longtime players. At some point, all of the chaos and insanity becomes white noise, and driving around like a normal person suddenly seems appealing. It doesn’t usually last long, though. Sure, it may initially seem fun until you see a ramp over there.
I suppose they advise against that in driver's ed, but the people who teach those classes don’t really know how to live.
The only exception would be those rare mission which task the player with delivering a vehicle to a certain spot undamaged. In these scenarios, it is difficult to approximate what will happen first; either an NPC will tap your bumper, or your patience will run out and you will careen off the side of a cliff.
9 Who Needs The Hospital When You've Got Cluck n' Bell?
Unlike the state of health care in most parts of the world, GTA’s lawmakers must be political wizards. They seem to have worked out all the kinks and made healthcare so inexpensive that resurrection only costs around five thousand dollars.
The fast food in GTA’s topsy-turvy universe is so healthy it can literally heal bullet wounds.
While not a feature of every GTA game, chicken sandwiches and hot dogs apparently offer spectacular health benefits. As long as they avoid taking a few many RPGs to the face, the citizens of places like Liberty City and Los Santos are theoretically immortal, thanks to their extraordinary diets.
8 My Life In 40 Years
The Grand Theft Auto series is famous for many controversial gameplay aspects, but the game also offers calmer and less destructive opportunities. Most players will spend their time with the game ramping flaming cars off of mountains and skydiving off of skyscrapers, but those with much more patience may find time to wager their earnings in the stock market or play some golf.
GTA V is certainly full of the nonstop insanity that has been a staple of the series, but it’s also possible to live an in-game life so inconspicuous that you’ll hardly garner any criminal rapport. Though this style is tailored toward those who genuinely enjoy games like Harvest Moon or Animal Crossing (not that we have anything against those titles), we agree that passing time in Los Santos this way seems like a bit of a missed opportunity.
7 Oh, Come On! That Wasn't Even My Fault!
The cops might not care if two civilian vehicles bump each other, but if a cruiser is involved, be prepared for a knock-down the likes of which you’ve only seen on national news. The police departments in Grand Theft Auto titles probably don’t get new vehicles too often, so they are extremely protective of the ones they have… when they aren’t ramming them into criminals.
Call it loitering if you want, but it’s totally an abuse of power.
Cops will destroy millions of dollars worth of their own equipment in the name of justice. Paadoxically, it’s a federal offense if you make a dent. It may just be that cops are on the lookout for any reason to haul you in, given that they’ll literally attempt to arrest you for standing around.
6 Try A Little Harder Next Time, Micheal
Why is it that, after faking his own death, Michael would decide to go into hiding without changing any of his distinct facial features? Albeit his isn’t the most instantly recognizable face, it wouldn’t be unthinkable for a former associate of his to bump into him in a dense metropolitan area, which is home to a robust criminal underworld.
If I can't see you, you can't see me.
Beyond that, he’d have to have known that the minute he made his way back into the criminal lifestyle, Trevor would immediately catch wind of it. Not to mention the fact that the two essentially lived within spitting distance of each other. Perhaps that’s a coincidence, but it doesn’t excuse Michael’s half-hearted attempt at retirement.