The best part of the GTA series – whether it be in GTA Online’s current Los Santos, or any of the cities featured in Grand Theft Auto: The Trilogy - Definitive Edition – is the fact you can pretty much do whatever you want. In the classic trilogy, this is especially true once you’ve hit the end game, left to your own devices to wreak havoc on the city, it’s civilians, and those sworn to protect it. In fact, it’s actually in your best interest to do so, since you’re rewarded for all of the damage and destruction that you cause.
This is especially especially true in Grand Theft Auto 3, thanks to Rampages - these literally task you with creating chaos for pretty much no reason at all. However, there's also what I refer to as an unofficial "Rampage mission” that ultimately ends up as the best beach party in video game history. Indulge me, if you will.
Portland Beach is one of GTA 3’s most secluded areas – nowhere near as populated as the bustling beach side in GTA 5. It probably has to do with the fact that the beach is adjacent to the industrial shipyard, a part of the ocean that I definitely wouldn’t be swimming in either. At any rate, the unsuspecting beach and its coastal cliffs make it the perfect place to share some laughs with the boys in blue.
What do I mean by that? Well, let’s say that you’re on the run with a wanted level of at least four stars. The cops are in hot pursuit of you at this point, with their police cruisers speeding through the streets of Liberty City at top speed. This also means that it’ll be a bit more difficult for their vehicles to stop on a dime, which is exactly what you’re banking on.
You lead a trail of cruisers – sometimes up to five cars deep – straight up the steep hill en route to the cliff that overlooks the bay. Just before flying off of the cliff, you make a sharp 90-degree turn, but continue to floor it to get out of the way of the pursuing cop cars.
That’s when it happens.
Like a scene pulled straight out of the Blues Brothers movie, the trail of cop cars goes flying off of the cliff, and down, down, down onto the sandy shoreline below. Some of the cars end up toppled over, catching on fire as they slide into the murky abyss of the ocean. The rightside-up cars don’t fare much better, though – most of them wind up doing donuts due to the beach’s slippery sand, oftentimes taking out other police cruisers during the chaos.
From there, it’s rinse and repeat as you make a loop around the nearby neighborhood streets, leading another line of cop cars to their demise by way of Liberty City’s most dangerous cliff. Sure, sometimes you might end up down on the beach with them, but it’s a quick drive (or run, if your vehicle doesn’t make it) to get back to the top of the cliff.
My friend and I discovered this wholesome mini-game while playing the original PS2 version of GTA 3 and referred to it as a “beach party”. We would spend hours upon hours playing this pseudo-Rampage, seeing who could survive the longest and who could run up the biggest kill count.
I have yet to finish the main story in the Definitive Edition of GTA 3 – a fact that can be 100 percent attributed to my spending time throwing beach parties instead of beating the game. If you think you’ve done it all in GTA 3, a beach party is the perfect way to celebrate your accomplishments.
Pro tip: For added challenge, kick your beach party off at the car dealership that has the Banshee and see if you can actually make it to the beach. It’s tougher than you might think.