Many of us have been there: You’re living your happy life with your partner. You’ve got your routines, and you’ve settled into your comfortable world feeling content to spend the rest of your life with your special person. But then, every so often, you remember—sharing your life with your partner can mean sharing your life with your partner’s family, too.
Eventually, you come to the point when it's time to visit the in-laws or the extended family again. In my case, I’ve been lucky enough to be blessed with in-laws that are pretty great. Unlike some, I don’t spend every waking moment leading up to the visit filled with dread because they hate me or because I can’t stand them. What I am filled with every time, however, is anxiety.
I’ve constructed a silly self-imposed standard I must meet whenever I’m around them. They’ve been nothing but pleasant towards me, yet I constantly still find myself thinking, “I have to make sure I’m social enough,” or “I have to smile enough,” or “I have to make sure I’m asking enough questions.”
But more than that, I’m anxious because, frankly, I’ve had no idea how to connect with them.
I’ve always wanted to build a relationship with my in-laws, but the truth of it is that we live such different lives that I’m constantly struggling to figure out how to do so. Our hobbies, backgrounds, and lifestyles are all complete opposites, and the struggle to try to bridge that gap sends my anxiety into a constant state of overdrive every time we see them.
But this last visit, my prayers were answered by the very simple, cute mobile game called Gummy Drop.
I’ve written before about the positive impact games have had on my interpersonal relationships—from my marriage in Minecraft to rebuilding my connection to my partner through playing It Takes Two—but this was something different. Gummy Drop is comparable to Candy Crush, and it’s most often played by one person on a mobile device. While It Takes Two and Minecraft include obvious opportunities to connect with other people, Gummy Drop is seemingly the opposite.
I hadn’t talked a lot about my career with my in-laws, because I knew they weren’t really into games. The one console they own is a Wii, which is stored in the basement for the sole purpose of entertainment for my stepchildren when we visit. Aside from that, I had crossed games off the list as a conversation topic long ago.
But during this visit, we somehow got on the subject of routines, and my mother-in-law brought up this game that she plays, often before bed. When I expressed even the slightest interest, her eyes immediately lit up.
I cannot capture the way she came to life while talking about Gummy Drop. While I had always gotten the impression that my mother-in-law was rather reserved, she happily sat down to walk me through all the game’s features, and even called specific attention to the “seagull with an attitude” on one of the loading screens, filling us both with laughter. I’m not sure we’ve ever sat and talked for that long, and I’m certain it was the first time we’ve done an activity together that we were both really into.
After our session, I downloaded the game myself, and we’ve already been talking about my progress so far. I've discovered a new way to bond with my mother-in-law that doesn’t feel forced or fill me with anxiety. I don’t have to think about the next thing I should say, because I genuinely enjoy the game, and I know she does, too.
While I know games can have a positive impact on mental health and relationships, I was a bit floored that even a simple mobile game like Gummy Drop could have such a profound effect on my life. While mobile games tend to receive a lot of negative attention, I must give credit where it’s due by acknowledging that even a game like Gummy Drop has the power to change the course of a relationship, further demonstrating the potential positive power games can have in general.