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25 Hilarious 90s Toys (That Couldn't Be Made Today)

For millennials, the 90s was the period where the majority of were kids. It was also one of the most unique and influential periods in history, shaping the way most of us turned out as adults. The economy was doing pretty well and more people had more money to spend. Technology seemed to advance within the blink of an eye, with more homes having computers and the creation of the World Wide Web.

There seemed to be a lot more things geared towards kids as well, with television networks like Nickelodeon, Cartoon Network and Disney becoming the prominent channels for kids' entertainment. Growing up in the 90s was pretty awesome. Whether it's based on fact or rose-colored glasses of nostalgia most people from the 90s will tell anyone that we had some of the best music, some of the best clothing, some of the best shows, and some of the best toys.

There were toys like Barbie and all sorts of action figures that came from earlier eras that were still pretty popular, but the 90s saw the creation of some truly groundbreaking toys like Nintendo's Game Boy, Beanie Babies, and Furbies. Kids and parents alike went crazy for many of these toys and they are apart of many fond childhood memories and wishlist of avid toy collectors.

And then there are other toys. Toys that aren't (for the most part) bad just... weird. But in a hilarious way that'll have everyone wondering just who decided to make this toy. Here are 25 hilarious 90s toys that couldn't be made today.

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25 Skip-It

via: romper.com

We start our list off with Skip-It, a popular toy from the now-defunct Tiger Electronics. The toy was simple in design and worked as follows: a kid would put it around their ankle, and as they skipped it would spin around. There was even a counter built into it, so anyone could keep track of the number of skips they took. Skip-It was fun... if the rhythm was kept. One wrong move easily found a kid tripping over it or it turning into a brightly colored plastic weapon!

24 Crossfire

via: reddit.com

One thing most kids from the 90s can agree upon is that our commercials were very attention-grabbing. Especially ones targeted at kids like toy commercials! Watching a favorite show led to a kid adding two or three new things to their Christmas wish list. And one of the" hypest" toy commercials out there had to be for the board game Crossfire. It has kids on hoverboards battling it out in an arena on fire while lightning strikes against the dark sky. So maybe it's a little disappointing when the actual game is a little more than foosball. That commercial was sick!

23 Dream Phone

via: picclick.com

Another throwback game that was often played at slumber parties, this game was a sort of Guess Who game targeted at girls. There are 24 boys who have cards with their numbers on it. Players call the boys on the huge pink brick of a phone and get clues on who their "secret admirer" is and it is up to them to figure it out. This toy, though it certainly has a lot of nostalgia for us, probably won't be making a comeback nowadays with its premise of girls trying to hunt down a dude that's apparently "into" them.

22 HitClips

via: ebay.com

HitClips happened at the end of the 90s, but most of us 90s kids remember them fondly as one of the coolest ways to listen to music. They were tiny audio players that played one-minute clips of the most popular songs of the time.

Kids of the 90s jammed along to the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Aaron Carter, Destiny's Child, and more.

The rise of MP3 players like iPods put an end to HitClips indefinitely, as nowadays it's easier to get the full version of a song with better quality (and cheaper, too).

21 Moon Shoes

via: bustle.com

Most might not know this, but Moon Shoes were considered to be pretty old by the time they came around in the 90s! The original Moon Shoes were from 1950 and were called Satellite Jumping shoes made out of metal. The Moon Shoes we're all familiar with was produced by Nickelodeon and were (slightly) safer, being made out of plastic. It was like having a mini trampoline for your feet. Which, considering how dangerous normal trampolines are, most parents are probably glad this toy hasn't made a comeback.

20 Pogs

via: imgur.com

So... does anyone really know what Pogs were for? Most kids in the 90s seemed to just collect them and show them off every once in a while before putting them away, to be lost and forgotten. We did some research and what we know as Pog is a brand name for the game milk caps. The objective of the game is for a player to get as many Pogs or milk caps face up as they can, with the winner of the game being the one with the most.

19 Game Boy Camera And Printer

via: pinterest.com

Anyone into video games in the 90s more than likely had some type of version of a Game Boy. With franchises like Pokémon, Mario, The Legend of Zelda, and others, the Game Boy had to be one of the most sought-after gaming devices.

Nintendo has always geared its products towards children and the Game Boy Camera was an add-on device intended as toys.

The camera allowed kids to shoot photos and actually edit them with a number of options. Cameras come standard in all of Nintendo's handheld devices now, so there's no chance of seeing this device make a comeback.

18 Jibba Jabba Doll

via: pinterest.com

The way this goofy looking doll was intended to be played with has raised a few brows. Jibba Jabba was a doll made to be shaken, which would make it make noises that sounded eerily like it was being, well, shook.

The harder a person shook it, the quieter it would get.

When the toy company that made the doll, Ertl, learned about Shaken Baby Syndrome, it included a little pamphlet to dissuade people from trying this in real life. It was also suggested as a stress reliever for corporate executives in USA Today back in 1994.

17 Mini Boglins

via: nerdist.com

Boglins are a lesser-known creature toy that was made in the late 80s after the creature fad that came from hit movies like Gremlins and Ghoulies. In the 90s, a new brand of Boglins was created known as Mini Boglins, which were made out of solid PVC and couldn't move like their larger version. Mini Boglins could be used in the Boglins board game and were categorized in different "tribes," like "The Jokers" and "The Rude Dudes." They were sold in blister packs, where kids wouldn't know which ones they got until they opened it.

16 Snacktime Cabbage Patch Kid

via: howstuffworks.com

Cabbage Patch Dolls have been around since the late 80s and have been popular ever since. With their soft and squishy bodies, cherub-like faces, and birth certificates, they have remained one of the most popular dolls made. The Snacktime Cabbage Patch Doll was definitely one of the more popular ones, as it would eat whatever was put into its mouth! And that was what made it one of the most dangerous, because it would eat whatever was put in its mouth, including hair and fingers. Mattel recalled the toy and offered complete refunds from everyone who bought it.

15 Sky Dancers

via: bonanza.com

Children throughout time have always been fascinated by the whimsical nature of creatures that fly. Birds and bugs in real life, as well as mythical creatures like fairies and dragons in fantasy. That was one of the charms to the Sky Dancer toys created in the mid-90s. They were dolls that had foam wings that kids could make "fly" by putting them in a base that would launch the toy in the air with the pull of a string. After six years on the market, they were recalled with due to reported injuries.

14 Baby Sinclair

via: picclick.com

Does anyone remember the show Dinosaurs? For anyone that didn't get the unique experience of watching this show, it was a live-action show featuring dinosaurs that walked, talked and acted like humans. It was like The Flintstones meets every 90s family sitcom meets The Muppets. The show followed the Sinclair family. One of the most popular members of this family was the newest member of the family Baby Sinclair. He was a wisecracking member of the family, with quotable catchphrases like "I'm the baby!" A talking doll was made of him.

13 Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers

via: youtube.com

1993 brought the kids of the United States the live-action superhero series Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers. It drew inspiration and stock footage from several Japanese superhero "sentai" shows. It stars a group of teens who fight villainous monsters with the power of giant robots. There was a number of Power Rangers merchandise including action figures and playsets, but the Auto-Morphin' Rangers actions figures are a... unique set among them all. With the press of a button, anyone was able to swap out the heads of the figure.

12 Gold-Plated Pokémon Cards

via: reddit.com

The still-popular Pokémon franchise started in the 90s and became an instant hit with kids the world over. To promote the first Pokémon movie, Burger King not only had a collection of 51 kids meal toys to collect, but also six 23 gold-plated Pokémon cards that could be bought as well.

The cards featured Pikachu, Jigglypuff, Poliwhirl, Charizard, Togepi, Mew, and Mewtwo. The cards were cool, but could not be used in the trading card game and the Poké Ball display case it came in broke easily.

11 Tamagotchi

via: fortune.com

For kids who couldn't have a real life pet, Tamagotchi was the best next thing. This digital pet from Bandai was one of the most popular toys in the 90s, with every kid seemingly wanting one or having one. Despite being digital, these tiny little pets needed the same tender loving care as any real pet did. It had to be fed, played with, cleaned up after, and even disciplined when it did something bad. And as most of us 90s kids found out eventually, they could get sick and actually lose their lives if they weren't properly taken care of.

10 Michael Jackson's Moonwalker

via: gamersdecide.com

The 1970s first brought the first video game consoles but the 90s saw a large boom for video games with more advanced technology and more consoles available. Of course, games like Doom, Sonic, Street Fighter, etc were very popular but there were tons of other games developed that most people haven't even heard of. Michael Jackson's Moonwalker game is one of them. This game was loosely based off the 1988 film Moonwalker and was made for home computers, arcade, and Sega Genesis consoles. The console version has Jackson rescuing children and fighting bosses using his dance moves.

9 McDonald's Happy Meal Maker

pintrest.com

In the 90s, there were several toys were kids could "make their own treats." There was the Easy Bake Oven for kids who wanted to bake, Dr. Horrible's playset for kids who wanted to not only make candy but gross everyone out, and there was even a Snoopy Sno-Cone Machine!

There was also a lesser known set of treat-making kits made by Mattel that allowed kids to make miniature versions of their favorite foods that come with a Happy Meal! These snack versions were made using household items like cereal, honey, peanut butter, and white bread. So much white bread...

8 Bumble Ball

via: flickr.com

The 90s just didn't have weird toys for kids and tweens; toddlers got a few too. The Bumble Ball is probably one of the weirder and most hilarious toys that had been marketed for younger kids. It was a hard plastic ball with rubber knobs at the end. The whole thing vibrated and some even played music. It was an entertaining toy for the whole family, watching a toddler be amazed, amused, and sometimes startled by the wildly moving ball! Dogs really love it too, apparently.

7 Plastic Balloons

reddit.com

These little tubes of different colored goop were probably in the party favor bags of thousands of kids birthday parties in the US in the 90s. Whether they were called B'loonies or Super Elastic Bubble Plastic, the product worked the same. A little ball of the plastic was put at the end of a straw and kids could blow into it, making plastic bubbles.

They were made out of some pretty bad stuff including acetone, which produced fumes that could be inhaled through the straw. Blowing the bubbles would cause headaches and dizziness too.

6 Happy Family Midge

via: flickr.com

Barbie has been around for a long time and the world has seen her evolved from a simple doll to an icon and role model for girls all over the world. She has gone through many looks, different professions, and has collected a number of friends and family throughout the years. Midge was introduced as Barbie's best friend in the 60s and had a long period of not being sold until the late 80s and early 90s. The 90s brought the Happy Family Midge doll, which sparked controversy since the doll was created pregnant.

5 Nerf Turbo Screamers

via: worthpoint.com

What was the 90s without kids running around outside pelleting one another with Nerf darts and soaking one another with their water guns? Nerf is a brand that is still well and alive today, with a wide collection of toy weapons and sports equipment. Using Nerf balls was often preferred, as the shape and material the balls were made out of let it travel farther. And in the 90s, the Nerf Turbo Screamer one of the most sought after balls, as there was a plastic whistle that would "scream" as it was thrown through the air.

4 Treasure Rocks

via: worthpoint.com

A lot of toys sold in the 90s had kids being very "hands-on" when it came to playing. There were a lot of different activity and crafts sets like Easy Bake Oven and Creepy Crawlies that had kids making their own things. Treasure Rocks were one of the lesser-known activity kits. There were several different themed jewelry kits that had "magic" rocks that would turn into jewels once they were placed in water. The jewels were actually plastic and were coated in a baking soda-like substance that would dissolve in water, leaving only the jewel!

3 Yak Bak

via: picclick.com

Most kids from the 90s will remember the Talkboy, an electronic device from the movie Home Alone 2 that became an actual toy. The Yak Bak is its more compact and affordable rival. Most kids usually had one or the other. The original Yak Bak only had two buttons, a "Say" button, and a "Play" button. A kid could record up to six seconds of sound and then play it back. Older versions added in more features that allowed kids to "warp" their voices, like making it lower or higher by changing the pitch!

2 Pooch Patrol

via: ebay.com

This lesser-known 90s toy is a line of stuffed toy dogs called the Pooch Patrol. It had a special little spin on it that makes it weirder than most stuffed animals. Toys that transform were pretty big in the 90s with the popularity of the Transformers and Power Rangers. And the puppies of the Pooch Patrol had their own ability to transform... their facial expressions! The dogs could go from happy to angry, ready to protect their owner by adjusting different parts of their faces.

1 Kid Pix

via: throwbacks.com

The 90s saw a significant rise of computers in the home. And for millennials, this time was when most of us got to experience being on a computer. Compared to what we're all used to today, there wasn't a lot to do, and even less for kids. One of the programs available for kids to play was Kid Pix. Kid Pix was a drawing program aimed at, well, kids. It was kind of like Paint, though it had some pretty hilarious features to it, including a number of different painting and erasing options that had different effects.

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