My fascination with comics continues with a long forgotten love: Call of Duty. I used to be balls-to-the-wall excited whenever a new game was coming out. It all started with Modern Warfare 2. It was the first game I ever stood in line for at a midnight launch event. Yes, standing in line seems silly now, especially when you can pre-order and or pre-download a lot of content digitally, but it was exciting nonetheless. I went with a group of friends and it was a great experience. I highly recommend doing that at least once in your life be it a game, console, or whatever. You can taste the anticipation in the air and could even meet some cool people. This thrill continued with the first Black Ops and that’s pretty much where I dropped off. That’s when I got out of college and kind of stopped caring about multiplayer.

I still continued playing the campaigns, but with each new release, I felt the magic leaving. I’ll get into some specifics later with my content below. The point is, I used to be a big fan and now not so much anymore. There are a lot of things wrong with the series and I think these twenty-five comics summarize a lot of my issues. There’s the fact that the series has become yearly, multiple controversies, the rivalry with EA, bro culture, and so much more. Get those pistols ready because things are about to go down.

25 Friendly Care Package

Via Digital Unrest

This can be one of the funniest and most frustrating moments in online multiplayer. I’m sure both scenarios have happened to everyone. For me, the first time I killed an enemy with a care package was shocking. The same goes for smashing another team member on accident or getting smashed. Even though team killing isn’t great for morale, it’s admittedly funny even if it happens to me. If it keeps happening, well, then it’s not an accident anymore and someone on your team is a dirty team-killing troll. I’m not sure what Call of Duty executed this, but I know at one time there was an Achievement, and or a Trophy for hitting someone with a crate. It was a brilliant move on their part.

24 Press X To Pay Respects

Via Dorkly

After Black Ops, I was starting to get fatigued on the series. I was also out of college for the following entries so I was less ingrained in the culture. That’s part of the problem, but they just started to feel less special. The most recent game I loved was Advanced Warfare. It’s phenomenal and, say what you will about the current allegations surrounding Kevin Spacey, but he was a great villain in that campaign. If there is one moment I could make fun of thought it would be the infamous “press x to pay respects” scene where your character can lean in on a fellow comrades casket. If not for that button prompt it would have been a touching scene. Who’s genius idea was that?

23 Fighting Like Dogs And Cats

Via Nerf Now

You know what would revitalize my enthusiasm for Call of Duty? A completely new world. Why does it have to be set on Earth? I felt space was even a bit too drab. It hasn’t felt “new” in ages. I loved Riley, your dog companion in Ghosts, but that wasn’t enough to make that game good. What about a world where you play as anthropomorphic animals akin to Star Fox? I know what you may be thinking. That may attract the furry crowd. I’d even wager it’d turn off a lot of gamers who’d find the game too kiddy now that it has animals. Some people like that grit of real war, but I’m hoping for a change. A war against cats and dogs could breath new life into this stagnant franchise.

22 The Evolution Of War

Via Nerf Now

This comic is pretty much a perfect summary of what I experienced playing Modern Warfare 2. Emblem customizing was a great feature in the game, but of course, people were immature and abused the system. I don’t want to stereotype anyone, but it’s safe to say a majority of players fall under the frat boy, bro mentality. Women are objects, substances are sweet, and writing down 69 on anything is always hilarious. Something to that effect. Even if that demographic isn’t true there was a lot of "leaf" symbols going on along with references to 420 and others nods to smoking up. Well, that and the fact that a popular loadout was a knife and shield combo. I wasn’t above that part I will freely admit. It worked wonders.

21 Now That’s A Knife

Via Dorkly

You can have the coolest gun imaginable in Call of Duty, but they pale in comparison to the almighty knife. It doesn’t matter if you chuck it, or go in nice and close like. Whatever your position, it’s an instant kill. The same goes for any melee weapon like the tomahawk. Butting someone with your gun isn’t instant though, but it does hurt. It’s funny considering the reality of it all. If I had a knife and someone was dual wielding shotguns the winner would be the shotgun guy, right? If they’re a bad shot, or you’re fast enough it is possible to win. Now, I should mention that the knives in this series aren’t as big as Jason’s as seen here. At least not yet, anyway.

20 A Dog’s Purpose

Via I Am Arg

It’s become common knowledge that if a movie is about a dog then sure enough that animal is going to die. It all started with Marley and Me and has only gotten worse since. The same rules apply for video games, but they’re more flexible in their creature death be it a dog, horse, or some weird bear-owl thing. At the time, I thought this comic was spot on. Ghosts made such a big deal about bringing a dog onto your team that I thought for sure it was going to die based on the rules outlined above. It was hilarious at the time, but the dog, Riley, actually survives. Yay! Tons of other dogs die in that game though, but they were evil.

19 To Catch A Predator

Via Nerd Rage

Speaking of Ghosts, let’s talk about its DLC. Specifically how they added a Predator into the multiplayer. Not even in a zombie mode. It was actually multiplayer, which was weird but cool. Earlier, they also released a map that had Michael Myers running around in it. I never played with either of them because, again, I got out of that phase of my life with college, but they always looked cool. Anyway, I’m not sure if this panel will go over people’s heads because it’s a bit obscure. See there used to be a show on TV where a journalist, Chris Hanson, caught child predators. The show was called To Catch a Predator. You can probably get why this joke is funny now right? If not, well, then try harder!

18 Pixel Wars

Via Nerf Now

I said Advanced Warfare was my favorite Call of Duty in a long while, but there’s something that always bothered me about the name. During the Game Boy Advance era, my brain was trained to consider any game with Advance in the title to be for the GBA. There’s Super Mario Advance, Sonic Advance, and so forth. The game that it’s specifically mirroring is the strategy RPG series, Advance Wars. Wouldn’t it be been cool if there was some weird port of Advanced Warfare for a portable system with pixel graphics akin to Advance Wars? That would be amazing! There was actually a really good strategy RPG like X-Com for the 3DS based on the Ghost Recon franchise. It wasn’t pixelated, but still. I want to see this more than anything now.

17 Battle Lingo

Via Psyguy and Crikey Dave

The sound design in the Call of Duty series is top notch. Now I’ve never fired an automatic rifle in my life nor have I been in a war zone, but regardless of that minor detail, it all feels real to me. Even the voice actors give endearing performances. Not enough for me to remember their character names, as the writing isn’t always great, but you get the idea. If there’s one sound quality that is jarring it’s the repeated phrases during combat, which pertains to both single player and multiplayer. Calling for a magazine when they’re out of ammo, hailing you over for a medic, or shouting that an enemy is nearby. Now imagine someone like that in real life and that’s this panel in a nutshell. “Planting Daffodils” is definitely my favorite line.

16 Call Of Tenenbaums

Via Dorkly

I was cautiously optimistic for Call of Duty: WWII, but I absolutely hated it. Well, no, that’s a bit strong. It was more boring more so than anything else. The series has grown stale and I don’t know how to fix it. That is until I found this. Would it really be that weird if Wes Anderson directed a Call of Duty game? After all, Spike Lee wrote and directed NBA 2K16. A better comparison is actually Call of Duty’s rival: Battlefield. EA had some help from TV writers with Battlefield Hardline. I think it could make for a fantastic game. A different kind of single-player campaign to be sure and it may upset the longtime bro elite, but that’s what multiplayer is for: to stay the status quo.

15 The British Are Coming

Via Dueling Analogs

Another great idea for the next Call of Duty would be a further time jump. What about a game centered on the American Revolutionary War? The closest video game we’ve had recently was Assassin’s Creed III. It’s not a great entry in that franchise, but there are redeeming qualities, namely the setting. Sure it’d be a bit harder to sell, as there were no automatic weapons back then. It’d make gameplay a bit archaic, but maybe they could make it more about stealth so that knives and axes were a bigger part of the gameplay. Plus they could try naval battles. There’s a lot they could do in this setting and maybe Wes Anderson would like to direct it. Boom! Two comic ideas rolled into one.

14 Flesh Vs Death

Via Penny Arcade

Censorship is weird in the United States. You can show insane amounts of violence without anyone batting an eye, but as soon as you reveal the body, all bets are off. That’s silly, right? Why should we be ashamed of a natural part of life? Death is also a natural part of life, true, but the majority of people aren’t going to see a head explode in front of them. I’m not against either mind you. Give me blood and jugs all day long. I’m just saying when there’s bare skin in a game it gets way overblown. Penny Arcade’s point is pretty spot on. You murder millions in Call of Duty, but that never gets hysterically reported on compared to Duke Nukem Forever showing a little skin.

13 Girl Gamers

Via lindajing Tumblr

This panel hits pretty close to home. When I was playing Modern Warfare 2 and Black Ops I had a girl, a close friend, on my squad. She would constantly get harassed for being an attention grabber, or bad at the game because she was weak as a woman, or that she was a young boy. It was awful, especially because she was better than everyone else on our team. Even if that wasn’t the case she didn’t deserve that harassment. The comic is spot on with this issue. No one wants that kind of attention on a daily basis and it extends outside of video games too. Girls of the world, I can’t say I understand what your life is like, but I’ll support you.

12 One Man Army

Via Virtual Shackles

No one ever said Call of Duty was believable. Most of the problems in it can be extended to a number of video games though. Take, for example, your protagonists. Yeah, every main game has you running with a squad of soldiers, but there are also a lot of missions where you’re thrown into war zones with just a pistol and yourself. Sending a spy into a compound is one thing, but this isn’t a time for James Bond or Solid Snake. These are compounds comprised of entire armies. No right-minded general would send you in by yourself. Unless you were a robot or something. One capable of withstanding large amounts of fire. I guess Advanced Warfare and Infinite Warfare make sense, but not the rest of the series.

11 Ghostbusters

Via ayej DeviantArt

The only thing worthwhile from Ghosts, as I’ve already mentioned, are the dogs. It just kind of fell flat for me. The whole Ghost angle was interesting in concept: an elite squad born from the remnants of the U.S. military. It’s set up like a stealth game, but you do as much stealth as you do in any other Call of Duty. You’re still blasting away hordes of enemy soldiers. Suffice it to say I was disappointed, but I have a better premise. What if the Ghosts were actually ghosts? The whole game makes you think you’re alive and then about half way through the perspective switches over to the Ghostbusters. Turns out you were dead the whole time! Activision still has the rights to the IP, so hey, it could happen.

10 Plagued By Zombies

Via Dueling Analogs

Remember when zombies were a niche genre? It felt so incredible when The Walking Dead premiered on TV back in 2010. Really? A zombie show on TV based on a comic book? Yes, please! The same feeling of joy was felt during World at War’s zombie mode. Now I couldn’t care less about anything zombie related, especially when it comes to Call of Duty. A zombie mode is expected now. What ever happened to that alien campaign from Ghosts? It was actually really cool and that’s the last time it was used. What about more aliens, or mummies, or some other kind of monster? Just try to be different for once and stop worrying about what’s expected of you otherwise the franchise will never evolve.

9 The Horrors Of Multiplayer

Via Dueling Analogs

I don’t know why anyone talks in multiplayer anymore. Publicly I mean. Talking with friends is great, but going in with strangers only to get harassed, or to hear other people get harassed, is unpleasant. The fact of the matter is, anonymity makes people do and say terrible things. You all know the vulgar language so I don’t need to repeat. And hey, I’m not above swearing or goofing around with people, but there’s a big difference when you’re actually trying to be annoying or mean This especially goes for women too, as I’ve already highlighted in that previous comic. I’m not sure what the answer is though. Even with real names, it could cause a different sort of stir. Can’t we all just play games and get along?

8 Beware Of Babies

Via The Escapist

I wish 2014’s Call of Duty was called Fatherland! Holy crap that would be stupid over the top levels of genius. There’s no way the series could ever get that ridiculous though. If there’s one thing critics hate more than bare bodies it’s the harm of children. I wish there was a developer out there who would just try this out. I don’t care if I have a baby strapped to my chest who is wielding mini-pistols, or that I’m being attacked by rabid babies. The world would just be a better place with either of these scenarios. As long as they were handled in a goofy manner. Actually, you know who would do this well? Wolfenstein. The campaign in the first reboot, The New Order, was incredible and The New Colossus goes even further into insanity. Plus there is already a baby ready to be strapped to BJ's chest. Look out for Wolfenstein III: Fatherland in 2020.

7 World Of Welfare

Via Arcade Rage

Remember when Infinity Ward was THE Call of Duty developer to keep an eye on? Well, Treyarch sort of took their place after a bunch of people left in order to create Respawn Entertainment. Now, after Advanced Warfare, I thought Sledgehammer was the new hotness, but not after WWII. We’re still two years away from Infinity Ward’s next game and while I am intrigued on what Maximum Future Warfare could be as posed by this comic. Whatever it turns out to be I’m sure the studio will be fine. I know they’re still making money and the joke is that they’re not going to. Being on welfare soon is a bit of a cruel wish though. I don’t want anyone in this country to be on welfare.

6 Baby Games

Via Jago

The demographic for Call of Duty is partially comprised of college students, but the other majority has to be High Schoolers and younger. I know what you’re thinking. Aren’t these games rated M for Mature? So, what right-minded parent would get this for their kid? A good parent would, that's who. Look, this country is a bit chaotic right now and as always, someone has to take the blame. Guns are a hot-button topic right now and I’m actually surprised I haven’t seen video games like Call of Duty come into the news negatively. I think we’re sort of over violence in games, again, unless we see some skin. That said, I think a baby is obviously way too young, but I get the sentiment this comic is pursuing. Kids love Call of Duty.