Ah, Skyrim - the title that Bethesda still refuses to let go of. Just last month, the game turned six years old and got a yet-another re-release on the Nintendo Switch.
However, for all the time it has been around, Skyrim saw very little change from the original game we experience for the first time in 2011. Leaving the Special Edition aside, there is almost nothing that sets the current version of the title apart from the original one from six years ago.
In fact, all of the funny bugs, glitches, and downright illogical NPC choices are still there. And these make for some situations that are not only interesting to witness, but also completely hilarious.
Naturally, the Internet has decided not to forgive Skyrim its sins and has made sure that every possible situation that makes no sense whatsoever is out and visible to the public. These revelations come in a variety of forms - screenshots, videos, Reddit posts, and so on. But the best ones, without any shadow of a doubt, are the memes.
I am not saying that just because I, like the rest of the average Internet users, love memes. It's just because this form of media manages to capture the essence of Skyrim and its sometimes-absurd random occurrences. So, if you want to get a laugh at the expense of Bethesda's six-year-old masterpiece of an RPG, they are your best bet.
With that in mind, I am proud to present to you 25 of the most-hilarious Skyrim memes out there.
25 Just One More Turn
Good games throughout the years can be described by the catchphrase for the Civilization series - "Just one more turn." This rings true for Skyrim as well.
How many times have you found yourself saying that you will go to bed after completing this small quest, or crafting that specific weapon, just to realize that it's seven o'clock in the morning, the sun is rising, and you have one hour to get to the office?
I, myself, have done it more than enough times. In fact, if my rig was not in the bedroom where my fiancée is trying to get some sleep, I would still do it. And not just with Skyrim.
The One More Turn syndrome has ruined plenty of lives, though, so be mindful of it.
24 She Has Had Enough Of You
As the Dragonborn, we rarely think about the problems of lesser residents of Skyrim. We are the important ones, the ones that can make a difference. The rest are there to serve us. Especially if they are sworn to "carry our burdens."
Guess what, though. Lydia has had enough of your burdens. After traveling with you for a few hundred hours, she is now completely capable of carrying a mammoth in one hand and sending a giant up in the air for a change. That's how many iron weapons and useless armors she has been carrying for you.
So, if I were you, I wouldn't make her mad. Who knows, after traveling around with so much weight on her back, she might even be able to withstand your Fus Ro Dah. And you don't want to pick a fight with someone who can do that.
23 Do Not Mess With Them
I think we are all guilty of this one. As a new Skyrim player, everyone does the same thing when they encounter their first giant - they attack.
The first time I did it, I thought the game glitched on me when I was send flying in the air. The second time I assumed that this specific giant is bugged and cannot be beaten. It was only my third flight that I realized that giants send you around Skyrim in point-eighty seconds by design.
So, when I made some mistakes in one of my playthroughs and my only save was in a relatively tight spot with nowhere to run and a giant rushing towards me, I did the sensible thing and started the whole game over.
22 Do Not Underestimate The Guards...
Ah, city guards. The bunch of target dummies with faulty knees that you have to slay every time you decide to steal the thing you want, instead of earning it.
In the singleplayer Elder Scrolls game, they are nothing more of a nuisance. Like a particularly agile mosquito or a fly that refuses to stop landing on you. Sure, they could cause you a lot of trouble, but only if you let them.
Imagine my surprise when I started playing The Elder Scrolls Online and I gave into the temptation to steal some items, though. It turns out that the guards in the MMO are actually master warriors. Each and every one of them is a powerhouse that can bring you down in seconds, no matter how good of a fighter you are.
21 ... Unless They Make Jokes
The picture above is the perfect example of two things.
First, your dad doesn't make up the worst puns in history. It can be far worse, as you can see.
Second, we should stop complaining about the repetitive guard dialogues. I'd rather have the Whiterun guards keep assuming that someone stole my sweet roll than listen to bad jokes while walking around towns.
Sure, it makes little sense for them to believe I need their help to retrieve some foodstuffs, considering I have just literally killed an undead dragon and saved the whole world, but at least they do not comment on my fingers.
If the pun above was part of their dialogue, I would probably consider killing each and every guard in Skyrim, just to make it stop.
20 Every Time We Start A New Game
In every RPG, there are certain classes and archetypes that work best. It just so happens that in Skyrim, you can do the most damage as a sneaky archer. This allows you to progress through the game quickly and with little to no hassle.
Is it fun? The first seven or so times - yes. But when you start playing that same archetype every time, just out of habit, it starts to lose its appeal. Does this mean you stop playing it, though? Absolutely not!
The sneaky archer archetype is so stealthy that it manages to create itself in nearly every playthrough we start, no matter how much we wanted to be a tank warrior or a powerful Destruction mage.
Seriously, though - next time, I am going for the two-handed warrior thing.
19 Hadvar Has Seen Some Things
Speaking of the character creation process, we take it as a regular gameplay mechanic and that's perfectly normal. However, if we could traverse the fourth wall and see what is actually happening on the other side, we would think twice before taking so much time to flesh out our avatar's appearance.
After all, can you imagine what Hadvar was thinking while you were changing races and genders over and over again? Just standing there, being a Nord in one moment, then suddenly becoming a Khajiit?
You might think that the entire world was paused in that moment, but was it really? What if Hadvar saw your transformations, but was too scared to mention it? What if he thought he was crazy and kept quiet because of that?
All of us have single-handedly driven a perfectly good man mad mere minutes after starting the game. We should be ashamed of ourselves!
18 Mods Ruined Everything
Skyrim, like every Bethesda title in recent years, is very welcoming to mods. People around the globe have created some wonderful things thanks to that. Enhanced visuals, new weapons, or entire worlds have come from the great modding community.
However, due to the nature of the Internet and the average gamer, there have been some questionable mods too. You see, if we can enhance our games with good-looking women in little to no clothing, we will do it. It is not up for debate really, it is an actual fact.
Therefore, a pretty good amount of the mods out there do just that. Not because we cannot appreciate female beauty in the real world, but just because we want more of it. However, that is not what Skyrim is all about and we should seriously reconsider some of our modding decisions.
17 Rihanna: The Dragonborn's Nemesis
You might think that you are tough enough to not care what someone says. After all, words cannot hurt you, right?
Wrong! In Skyrim words hurt and they hurt a lot. Just imagine how the poor enemies of the Dragonborn feel, as he flings them to the other side of town with just his voice. If they survive, probably every bone in their body will be broken beyond repair. Fus Ro Dah is so powerful that it can an entire platoon of guards fly off a cliff or into a building, smashing their skeletons to dust.
So, next time you claim that words cannot hurt you, be thankful you do not live in Tamriel because no one is safe there. After all, you never know when the Dragonborn will get bored of the side quests and will decide to wreak havoc all over Skyrim.
16 Climbing Everest Is No Big Deal
Sometimes I wonder why people think that climbing a high peak is a that much of an achievement. Then I remember that most people do it the wrong way - on foot.
Why would anyone go through all of this trouble, I ask. It is a dangerous endeavor that is completely pointless if you could just take a horse up there.
Not only will you be moving much faster than on your own two feet, but you will have fewer troubles picking a route. The horse can scale a nearly vertical cliff face without breaking a sweat, so it will save you time and effort. In fact, if you leave early, you might as well climb Everest before sunset and be back just in time for dinner.
15 Horses Are Not That Unrealistic
While we are on the subject of Skyrim horses, we have to admit that they sort of make sense. I mean, look at the picture above. These are actual mountain goats scaling an actual real-life dam wall.
In case you have not noticed, dam walls are extremely close to being vertical and these guys could not care less about it. Mountain goats are completely capable of climbing cliff faces that appear unclimbable.
So, maybe the horses in Skyrim are some sort of a mixed breed? Maybe, centuries ago, the first horses of Tamriel mated with the local mountain goats and created some sort of a super-mount that can now scale walls and cliffs that even spiders struggle with.
Or maybe, Skyrim horses are just unrealistic.
14 We Treat Our Khajiit Horribly
Look at that poor fella and tell me who the real beast is - him or the lightly armored human in front of him.
In reality, we treat our Khajiit like animals, just because we do not understand them. We stuff them in zoos and hunt them for their hide, while all they want is to be left in peace. Their numbers decrease with each year, leaving humans of various kinds the only sentient race on the planet.
We could at least allow them to wear clothes in their prisons, while our offsprings throw popcorn at them and call them "lions."
We take no responsibility for the extinction of the Argonians, though. That was done by a meteor millions of years ago and we refuse to take the blame, no matter what the Scrolls say.
13 Illusion Mages Are Real
The image above is just a basic example of an Illusion mage in action. While the picture does state that this man has achieved level 100 in his craft, he is in fact only an apprentice.
The real illusion mages come in two kinds. The first call themselves magicians and make white Khajiit (or "tigers," as they call them) disappear from stages all over Las Vegas. The second are called lawyers and they can make everyone believe what they want them to believe.
In fact, the lawyer kind also appeared in other media, not just Skyrim. In a popular movie franchise, for example, they were called Jedi and made some poor soldiers ignore the fact that these are in fact the droids they are looking for.
12 Skyrim Prisons Need Better Cutlery
Unlike in the real world, in Tamriel, Illusion mages cannot save you from doing time behind bars. Thankfully, the Skyrim prisons are not as secure as one would think.
Take the picture above, for example. Instead of being given no dangerous cutlery, or at least a semi-dangerous fork, guards will grant you a lockpick to eat your food with. As well as two rather large metal plates and a metal mug.
To sum it all up, for dinner you are served the only tool you need to escape, as well as three heavy metal items you can bludgeon someone to death with. And this is just one example of a poorly-controlled prison. I will not even talk about all the weapons left on racks in the hallways with no supervision.
11 Bricks Will Not Stop Him This Time
The Three Little Pigs are in a whole lot of trouble this time. If the original Big Bad Wolf was a Dragonborn werewolf with a fully-developed Fus Ro Dah, they would have stood no chance. Fortunately for them, it was just a regular wolf with a small case of bad breath.
We already talked about how strong Unrelenting Force is and how it can wipe out entire armies in no time at all. Just imagine what would have happened if it was used on the pigs' houses.
With just one huff and maybe a small puff, the wolf would have brought down all three shacks at the same time. If an undead dragon cannot stop the werewolf Dragonborn, what chance does a brick wall have?
10 That Was Unexpected
One never knows what they can find when traversing the frozen lands of Skyrim. As the image above shows, a simple cave entrance could prove to be the gateway to a whole new world.
As exciting as this might be, it is also a little annoying at times. Especially when you have never ventured into Blackreach and it's past midnight. At this time of night, all you want is to kill a couple more bandits, loot a chest or two and go to sleep before your big exam tomorrow.
However, when you find such a location you cannot simply go to sleep. You have to explore all of it, which can take several hours, and it will make you miss that exam I mentioned. But in the end, was ruining your chance at a good career worth it? Absolutely!
9 Potion Hoarding Level Over 9,000
In The Elder Scrolls games, there are so many different potions that you are bound to collect more than you actually need. In the many, many hours I have sunk into TES, including The Elder Scrolls Online, though, I have never used any other than the occasional Health or Magicka potions.
One would think that it would be wise to sell the rest, then, and spend the coin on something I will actually use. Sure, it probably is, but do I ever do it? Absolutely not!
What happens if I suddenly need to block someone's attack with my sneaky archer character? If they survive my initial shot, I will obviously need a Potion of the Defender. Come to think about it, I should probably sell those.
8 This Would Be Fun
Unlike the pun in the previous entry, this one is actually kinda funny. "Yo momma" jokes will never go out of style. In fact, if they were the only jokes on the whole wide world, I would be perfectly okay with it.
So, it only makes sense for them to be included as dialogue options for guards. Actually, I think this would be a very popular mod and I am surprised no one has thought of it already.
Just imagine hearing a different "Yo Momma" joke, depending on which city you are in or the size of your bounty. I think that would be hilarious!
Take notes, Bethesda! We want more "Yo momma" jokes and fewer sweet roll-based judgemental comments from our guards. Make it happen!
7 Interior Decoration Is Easier In Real Life
Out of the several hundred hours I have spent in Skyrim and Oblivion, at least one hundred of them were spent decorating my various homes. This includes fitting weapons in display cases, placing books on bookshelves, and scattering various random items around tables and chairs, just to breathe some life into my virtual home.
In fact, my real-life apartment is usually a mess, but my housing in all games I have ever played is usually the best-looking home you have ever seen. Why? Because priorities, that's why.
That being said, I have given up on making the perfect castle in Oblivion after several display cases refused to close properly, despite the weapons inside them being perfectly aligned. It gets especially annoying when the item on display glitches through the furniture and gets tuck in some weird position.
6 Dragonborn Lunch Break
Being the Dragonborn is a full-time job. One for enthusiastic warriors that love the outdoors and like a good challenge. It may not offer great health care or benefits and most insurance companies will not even go near you, but it does come with mandatory lunch breaks.
In fact, unlike most jobs, where you would skip lunch because you have an especially important task at hand, as a Dragonborn, one takes more breaks when tackling the hardest challenges.
For example, it's perfectly acceptable (and even encouraged) to stop and eat all the food you can find in the middle of slaying a dragon. After all, you cannot save the world on an empty stomach.
5 She Must Always Look Good
You know how vampires cannot survive sunlight? Naturally, when out and about during the day, they need to protect themselves with some more layers of clothing, so they do not burn to ashes.
However, it appears that this only applies if the vampire doesn't have a good fashion sense. For example, Serana is perfectly okay with leaving the upper portion of her torso exposed in the sun if it means that she will be more appealing to the opposite gender.
I hope that she uses some serious sunscreen, though. Otherwise, her tan lines would look horrible when she hits the warm Skyrim beaches. Actually, now that I think about it, I don't think she should worry about the beach body much, and not only because she is a vampire.
4 From Iron To Daedric Armor
The crafting progression in games rarely makes sense. However, it is even more bizarre when it is not based on what you have crafted before, but on the amount of crafting experience you have acquired.
Such is the case with Skyrim, where you can craft nothing but iron daggers for the entire game until you max out your blacksmithing skill. All of a sudden, you will be able to craft every weapon and heavy armor in the game, despite the fact that you have never done it before.
This strange game design decision was sort of addressed in The Elder Scrolls Online, but it still exists in the MMO. You can still craft hundreds of iron items and max out your blacksmithing skills that way. It's just not the most efficient method and you will have to move on to higher tier metals if you want to progress faster.
3 Hit That Quicksave Button
The quicksave button is a blessing and a curse. It can save you a lot of time when you are about to attempt some dangerous mission, as you won't have to make your way to that pesky boss every time you die. But it can also make you waste your gaming hours away attempting the same mindless task over and over again.
Take the image above as an example. You could easily find a steel greatsword somewhere more sensible or craft one. But we all know that each and every one of us will hit the quicksave button and we'll attempt this pointless theft over and over again until we succeed?
Is it worth it? Of course not. Why do we do it, then? Because we are the Dragonborn and we do not chicken out of a challenge, that's why.
2 One Does Not Simply Complete Skyrim
Skyrim is a huge game, even by today's standards. Six years ago, it was probably the longest and most content-filled title I have played. There are always more things to do and new places to discover.
But enough is enough. And that moment when you have more quests than you can complete in a lifetime and someone shows up to give you another one is extremely frustrating. You reach the point where you know you have to retrieve someone's sword from some cave and bring it back to them, but you do not even remember who and why gave you that side quest.
In fact, there is so much to do in Skyrim that I do not know even a single person that has completed all possible activities in the game.
1 Eye Candy Is Important
Six years ago, only a handful of my friends could run Skyrim with Ultra High video settings. I could only manage medium at best, and that was during the winter with the window open. Otherwise, I ran the risk of having my rig blow up in my face.
Nowadays, we have all upgraded and the pride of running Skyrim at the maximum settings possible wasn't that big. I say "wasn't," because Bethesda decided to pull a prank on us and release the Special Edition.
While the original was far more taxing on our rigs in comparison, the new release of the game is still somewhat of a resource hog. I imagine that in 20 years time, when video games will be indistinguishable from real life, Bethesda will re-release Skyrim once more and we'll need entire rooms for the rigs that can run it.