The Sims is weird, right? Just super weird!

It’s an endless, repetitive game where you just control tiny computer people until death, not seeing the irony as you whittle away your own infinite time before the grave. But it’s also awesome!

We like to see it as a realistic portrayal of society and humanity. If you're anything like me, you’ll install every expansion pack in order to further your Sims' lives, downloading any custom content that adds a smidgen of reality to your world. Despite the werewolves, vampires, aliens, and stuff, it’s nice to imagine The Sims as a real-world scenario.

Except it’s not and never will be.

Not because of the vampires, plant-Sims, and ghosts that all too casually wander around. Not because of the fortune teller who’ll set you up with the person of your dreams for enough money, or the witches that’ll teach you the ways of magic if you socialize with them enough. Because Sims will never see the world in the same way we do. They see the world through the eyes of Sim Logic.

Sometimes things happen in the world of The Sims that have us disturbed and confused, but leaves the Sims unfazed like it’s the norm to them.

So, here’s 25 examples of pure Sim logic that will have you laughing in agreement.

26 The Burglar Stole My Toilet!

Unless you have a burglar or a car alarm, there is no protection from burglars! Your Sim can try to call the police when the crooked visitor sneaks in during the night, but they are unlikely to arrive on time. Once a burglar is in your house, there is no stopping them from stealing your stuff!

Burglar Sims will take the most expensive items in your Sim’s house. Even if those items include kitchen counters, beds, or even toilets! Burglars have to power to turn everything they touch into money during the first game (which must get annoying when handling your own stuff) and later are able to suck everything they want into their magical red sack. Leaving your poor Sim to weep for their toilet!

25 Living The Dream

House prices have been rising steadily for the last few years, while minimum wage and jobs haven’t been catching up. Many millennials are now in a situation where they will be unable to afford their own house for many years to come.

But for some reason, in The Sims, wages are ever increasing, yet house prices remain ridiculously low! You can buy a house for as little as fifteen thousand Simoleons in some cases, while the biggest mansions cost around a hundred thousand Simoleons. This is why your Sims will always have better houses than you will!

So, if you want to experience what it would be like to own your own house, then play! Although I’m bitter so I usually make them live in apartments anyway.

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23 How To Improve Your Home

With Freetime, Sims with the “tinkering” hobby were encouraged to play around with their household items, usually breaking them and repairing them again. Later, Sims were able to improve their household items more efficiently. While tinkering in The Sims 2 at least involved a Sim fiddling with a screwdriver in the same spot, later Sims just hit their possessions with a hammer!

If you came home and saw your flatmate repeatedly hitting your stove with a hammer, surely you’d intervene and ask what was going on. But, nope. Your Sims just accept that this is going to improve the stove and soon no one will ever have to clean it!

22 The Folding Car

While this is technically a glitch, it’s become so common and so enjoyable for most players, that it just feels like part of the game at this point. Parking has always been a strange thing in Sim world. When Sims first got cars in Nightlife, I wondered why they always parked in the same spot next to the payphone when there were perfectly good parking lots made up that went unused. And what if someone else wanted to drive to the shops? Where would they park? Well, when later Sims games came along, I found out. They were simply putting their cars in their pockets.

I imagine a lot of drivers would kill for this ability. It would certainly save on parking fees and tickets.

21 But It Was Aliens!

Maybe this is one of the slightly more realistic aspects of the game.

In The Sims bosses are reasonable and will only fire you from your job if you miss too many consecutive days. However, if on the eve of your last chance you get abducted by aliens and end up late or missing work, then your boss won’t be understanding. It’s understandable, surely? If you were late for work today and went up to your boss with the excuse that you were abducted by aliens, surely, they wouldn’t believe you and fire you for tediousness.

Although in The Sims your boss can be an alien themselves, so maybe they’re just being jerks!

20 Too Young

I’ve never been able to understand why children aren’t allowed to do certain things in The Sims. They're too young to play certain instruments, but allowed to touch chemistry sets. They're too young to cook their own meals in the kitchen, but old enough to have access to the bar (even if they’re only getting a “juice box.”) Also, why are adult Sims excluded from kid things? They’re allowed to play with the dollhouse but not in the super cool play area! I’d play in the play area! Although my status as an adult is questionable.

Sims certainly are dubious parents, so maybe it’s just a set list they receive from the Sim government, where it’s illegal for children to do very specific things. Like make pottery or play guitar.

19 Well, It’s Closer

via: pinterest.com

It’s a classic phenomenon of the game's coding that was acknowledged by the creators in the first game guide. When a Sim puts a pizza down in the bathroom it's because it’s the nearest surface. Instead of choosing the most logical location for their activities, Sims just tend to go with whatever is closer. Whichever chair is closer, the closest table to put something down, and whichever surface can be used to prepare food. Even if it’s in the bathroom.

It’s a quirk of the game you really thought would have been fixed by The Sims 4. But maybe we’ve come to love it by this stage!

18 Who Needs Med School?

via: quickmeme.com

My favourite Sims expansion pack is, without a doubt, University! Simply because it was a more realistic way for Sims to progress so quickly in their chosen careers. Even if there isn’t such a thing as med school yet in the Sim world, you at least feel a little bit better about your local doctor if they at least have a biology degree.

Not that choosing to skip college will limit your medical dreams! If you simply can’t be bothered with college (a silly thought considering that it’s free in the Sim world), just play chess, talk to yourself in the mirror, and read about cleaning until your boss is satisfied that you know how to operate on people.

17 Celebration Time

Sims have an odd sense of celebration. In the moment, they love sharing joy with others, whether it’s cheering at their child’s A+ report card or clapping the happy couple at a wedding, your Sims will always be there to support others.

The trouble is that their joy, while passionate at the time, is often short-lived. After they’ve cheered their kid's report card, they’ll go back to doing what they were doing. After the wedding ceremony has finished, it’s time to get some food, go the bathroom, dance alone or with others, or start a fight with someone. And after you're happy for your daughter’s graduation, there is no point on dwelling on the matter, it’s time to go out there and build a snowman!

16 I Didn’t Mean To!

via: tumblr.com

Sims don’t really have a sense of personal space. If they’ve decided that an action needs to be done, then they’ll do it, regardless of who is around them. If they feel they need to stand somewhere, then they’ll go stand there, regardless if they’ll be standing uncomfortably close to someone or on occasion IN that other Sim!

And sometimes things like this happen.

It’s not the Sim’s fault. He fell over and needed to reach out. She was just standing in the way.

It’s not just the video game glitches that separate the Sims from our world, but how casual they all are about it. I guarantee this guy never apologized, but most of all that girl didn’t even notice. I guess Sims understand each other in a way we never can.

15 How To Cheat

I’ve started to realise that the more The Sims progresses, the more Sims are willing to accept adultery. It’s very strange.

In the original game and in The Sims 2, other Sims were devastated if their beloved stepped out on them. They would slap and fight them, rejecting any positive social interaction that the cheating Sim would try to engage them in. That was, until Sims were able to learn “anger management," at which point nothing anyone did to them could ever annoy them! Which was really annoying!

In The Sims 4 I had a Sim who was terrified that her husband was cheating on her. So, I had her come home early to catch him! Because I’m evil. But she barely cared! She got upset, cried, then went over to tell him a joke! I guess I’ll just make them dance until they forget about everything.

14 So Much Left To Explore

via: quickmeme.com

It actually really annoys me how easy it is to make money in The Sims. At some point during the game's progress, the money cheats became redundant. The bosses hand promotions out like candy and money builds up pretty quickly. Whenever I try to get a family broke, the game interferes (maybe thinking that I’m struggling), giving the Sims bonuses at work or making them discover new stars with their telescope!

The SimCity Astronomical Society really aren’t doing their job, because the way they spit money out at amateurs, you’d think they’d never looked at the sky before! I’ve had Sims discover two new planets in the same night. Planets!

13 The Birthday Fire

I think it’s fair to say that Sims don’t learn from their mistakes. Especially when it comes to fire! They could be cooking dinner, start a fire, get saved from the fire, and start cooking again. Once, when two Sims were on vacation, they kept insisting that they wanted a fire lit in the fireplace, despite that fact that it set fire to the rug every time!

So, while it’s upsetting that this Sims birthday party was probably ruined by their candles setting fire to their entire house, it probably won’t stop them from enjoying many birthday parties for years to come. I don’t know how you’d really set fire to the house with birthday candles, though. That’s nearly impressive!

12 No Time Wasters

Sims have a much, much shorter life span than the average human, but even by their standards relationships move fast! Sims fall in love quickly and they don’t like to waste time, particularly family Sims who can get a want to get engaged very quickly after meeting another Sim.

Even Sims with other focuses in their lives can get caught up in romance and not want to move on from their first love. Unless your Sim has a Romance aspiration or the “Afraid of Commitment” trait, they’ll probably want their relationship to move fast.

When you meet the Sim of your dreams, don’t hang around! Let them know how you feel and start a family before it’s too late and it’s dark outside so you want to go home.

11 He’s Pregnant Again

I’ve never understood the motivation of the aliens in The Sims games. They’ve abducted Sims from the beginning, warping their minds and taking control. Later in The Sims 2 they began to abduct more often, especially in Strangetown. They even started populating the world below by getting (male) Sims pregnant with their alien babies.

However why they do this has never really been explained.

Do they want to discover more about Sim lives? Do they want to slowly populate the Sim world with their offspring and take it over? These are both valid possibilities, although after over a decade of Simming, I’ve decided that they’re just doing it for the lolz!

10 I Hate You So Much!

Another example of how Sims lack social skills.

Sims don’t really know where to draw the line at boundaries. Guests just sort of come over unannounced, then hang around until their told to leave, especially in apartment buildings. Once, in an apartment building, one of the residents decided that he hated my Sim. She had a smelly apartment and was constantly partying. He constantly came over to yell at her, and slapped her once or twice. Didn’t stop him from coming in whenever he pleased to watch her TV!

But maybe we can learn a thing or two from The Sims. After all, we all have calls of nature. Maybe if you let your enemy use your toilet, one day they’ll return the favour. Then you can get them back by stealing their shower gel or something.

9 Picture Of A Ghost

via: tumblr.com

Death does weird things to Sims. One time in Sims 2 a Sim of mine died while his daughter was off site, so when she returned home his ghost left declaring he’d died on another lot, even though the Sim himself had never left the house. I didn’t understand, either.

In the original, death was so profound that Sims would mourn the dead, even if they never knew them. This lead to me selling all the graves in the Goth's garden, as guests preferred to mourn them than spend time with the family!

It’s impressive that the Grim Reaper managed to move the body out of the photo booth before the pictures had finished, though.

8 How To Prevent Fires

In the world of Sims, everything can catch fire. The fire alarm could probably burn down if it didn’t summon those pesky fire fighters.

Remember the genie in the original game? Well, if he made a mistake and summoned fire, he would always set fire to my goddamn hot tubs or baths! Possibly to create a sense of irony. Odds are that if your Sims' fireplace is next to the shower, then the shower itself would probably catch fire.

Truth be told, fires aren’t that hard to avoid. The fire brigade is incredibly efficient and will be there as soon as they can to deal with the situation. Just don’t expect water to be of any use.

7 How Did I Get Here?

After a long Simathon, there is always that nagging thought in the back of my mind. What if we are all Sims? What if Will Wright was actually some kind of prophet?

I admit that it’s unlikely, but until someone can prove that it’s not true, the stupid part of me will always wonder.

So, when something like this happens, I feel like I’m a Sim. Especially when you forget something, sit down, remember it, get up, and then decide not to do it. I’ve done that to my Sims so many times! So maybe you’re not forgetful. Maybe that thing you were thinking of WAS important. Your Watcher just decided against it. It’s not your fault!