Mario has been risking his life to save various princesses since 1985 (if you count his original appearance in Donkey Kong you could argue it's been even longer.) So it's only natural to celebrate such an achievement with tons of fanfare. A re-release of his most notable 3D adventures, special events, and even some new games. It's the perfect way to honor the work of a plumber that's surprisingly agile for his age.
Or least that would be true if his age made any sense. Since it is his 35th anniversary you would assume he'd be at least 35. Although, throughout his games, he's always been a full-grown adult with the exception of his appearances as a baby in titles like Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. With the use of basic logic, that must mean that he has to be in his late 40s to early 50s.
Well, logic is wrong in this case, as Shigeru Miyamoto has publicly stated that the man with the thick mustache is around 24 to 25 years old. If you consider Super Smash Bros. Melee entries to be the ultimate source of Nintendo canon, then he's officially 26.
This is clearly absurd.
No One In Their Twenties Could Grow That 'Stache!
Even though Mario's mustache is the sort of facial hair that would take decades to grow and perfect, Nintendo is adamant that Mario is a young adult. Someone who should be fresh out of college and ready to enter the job force. Someone who hasn't been beaten down by the cruel realities of the modern world. Someone whose knees and back aren't destroyed by years of jumping and butt-smashing.
But it was obvious from the start that Mario was supposed to be an older Italian plumber. This can be seen clearly by the artwork and designs from his 8 and 16-bit days.
He was always stocky with a noticeable gut and his hairline implied some male pattern baldness underneath that cap. Even more telling was that whenever he was played by a real-life actor, casting directors would always hire middle-aged husky gentlemen to wear the red overalls. Hence why we got Bob Hoskins in the Super Mario Bros. movie and Captain Lou Albano in The Super Mario Bros. Supershow.
Unfortunately, having the face of one of your most popular franchises be a mature tradesman probably didn't seem all that marketable to the executives at Nintendo. So he slowly but surely started to de-age like the Benjamin Button of video games. His belly got smaller, his hair got thicker and more luscious, and he started to look less and less like an uncle you'd try to avoid at a family reunion. His only remaining link to his days as a seasoned plumber is his robust facial hair.
So now we're left with this 26-year-old pipe-traversing hero, and I for one don't much care for it.
It doesn't make any sense. How can you celebrate a 35th anniversary if you're only 26? What kind of rejuvenation process did he go through? Did the magic of the Mushroom Kingdom cause him to become younger? Has he undergone extensive plastic surgery? Did the real Mario die and Nintendo replaced him with a baby-faced doppelganger?
The great thing about Mario was the idea that a middle-aged man was capable of donning a raccoon tail or bunny ears and saving the day. He was an icon for those who were just about to enter into their own mid-life crisis. You could relate to Mario because you knew he had likely experienced the hardships of owning a small business and paying off a mortgage. He was a common man who used his hands to fix toilets and punch walking mushrooms in the face. But now he's just some punk kid sipping on craft beer and learning the hottest TikTok dances.
Get This Young Plumber Off My Lawn!
Alas, Nintendo has decreed that Mario is a member of the last generation of millennials. Since he's a fictional character he'll likely remain that age forever. That means that as we grow old and grey, Mario will remain as spry as he ever was.
But I'll always wish for the return of the old Mario. By which I mean the literally old Mario. I'd like to believe that most fans feel that way too. Much like how some prefer the short, chubby version of Sonic over his green-eyed, lanky re-design, the stout Mario of yesteryear will always be superior to his boyish counterpart.
It was his age that made him special. I believed that the older Mario had the wisdom to fix any problem he faced. I don't even think this young Mario could fix a leaky faucet.