Something I find myself constantly doing while watching horror movies is wondering what I would do in the place of the characters on screen. The answers for movies are usually pretty straightforward: just follow some gold rules like don't split up, always bring your phone, and don't talk about sex before marriage. All these things will keep you alive in a slasher movie.
However, games are a bit more complicated. This is mainly because they put you in the shoes of a character, so in a sense, you do get to really see what you would do. Thankfully, even in these games when my poor computer-generated character eventually turns the wrong corner or picks an item that will most definitely cause a boss to spawn, and I die, I can always quickly respawn. The real question is though, how long would I survive if these games were real? Without that safety net, without the abilities of a space mechanic, presidential bodyguard or a plumber — how long would I survive in different horror games?
10 Dead Space
I don't think there is a game I would be more dead in than in Dead Space. The big problem here is I simply have no idea what to do in space. The infinite void of the universe is an uncaring force of nature where humans just aren’t meant to survive.
I have zero confidence that I would not accidentally cause explosive decompression just boarding the Ishimura, sending me and my crew into the vacuum of space. Even if I didn’t do that, I can hardly use an electric drill. Do you really expect me to be able to sever Necromorph limbs? No matter what happened or how many new game plus items you gave me, I would still die instantly in Dead Space.
9 Dead By Daylight
The big problem with serving in Dead By Daylight is that I'm not a very good team player. I would rather work on my own, kick and curse at failing generators I have no hope of fixing without anyone else's help, and I would rather hide from slasher villains in a locker on my lonesome.
Last I checked, there was a murderous K-pop idol killing people by the dozens in that game, and even Ash Williams was merely surviving the killers. If the man that has killed countless deadites can't always escape, what hope do I have?
8 Silent Hill
You know, when wondering if you would survive a Silent Hill game if you were put in the position of a protagonist like James, Harry or Heather, you will quickly find yourself asking some pretty deep questions. “Am I a good person?”, “Can I move on from my mistakes?” and “Do I deserve forgiveness?”
All of these will play into whether you will ever leave that town or not, and rather than do that much self-reflection, I would much rather just assume that I would be a strange side character, with terrible voice acting that you never see after a certain point. Maybe I would get out, maybe I would die, or maybe I would just disappear into the endless fog.
7 Resident Evil
Survival in the world of Resident Evil seems pretty easy. All you have to do is not live in a major city or just outside a major city. Also don’t live in rural farming areas, or a castle, and definitely don't live in Africa. While you are at it, don’t become a politician, police officer, scientist or any other high-ranking official in any professional field, and if you can avoid it, try not to be an average civilian too.
Other tips include never visiting any European countries or China, and never go to the Antarctic. It would also be best if you tried not to travel by train or boat or helicopter or plane. The final bit of advice to staying alive in that universe, don’t get injected with a serum with a sinister-sounding name in the hopes of becoming a superhuman. Oh, and don’t become a sandwich.
6 Until Dawn
Supermassive Games has made its name as a company on finding strange and inventive ways to trap young and attractive people in horrible situations where they usually meet a gruesome end. This was never more true than in the studio's first slasher adventure game, Until Dawn.
The odds of me getting out of this one are very slim. When playing, I did a great job of making the right decisions to keep everyone alive, but it was when the game asked me to keep my Dualshock still that I messed up and people died. If I was really there, I certainly don't think I would have the nerve to stay still.
5 Alien Isolation
I know I said that I wouldn’t survive for long in any space environment but for as awful of a future the Alien universe represents, its space-fairing vehicles seem much more livable. Yes, usually we see these communal spacecraft after they have been ravaged by xenomorphs, but for the years and years before then when I would be in cryosleep, I would still technically be alive.
I have also devised a very sensible solution to never encounter such a threat in the Alien university. If you hear a distress beacon, fly the other way.
4 Dead Island
Survival in the Dead Island universe doesn’t actually seem very tough. Player characters are constantly not being infected by zombie bites, and you only really need a stick, something sharp and some Sellotape and you have an incredibly strong anti-zombie weapon.
The protagonists of these games all kind of seem like idiots anyway, so if they can get by, so can I.
3 Bloodborne
Some might argue Bloodborne isn't a true horror game, but I would challenge them to wake up in a hospital ward with a growling dog waiting outside to kill them and see how they feel then. There are very few worlds as uninviting as FromSoftware's gothic nightmare of Yharnam. On top of that, it is arguably one of the studio's harder games, so why am I so confident I could survive?
The answer is very simple. I have visited the UK on about ten occasions and escaped every single time. Yharnam isn't exactly like the UK, but it is close enough in my experience and if I can survive a week in London then I could definitely get along just fine for a while in the Cathedral Ward.
2 Night Trap
The good thing about being the main character in Night Trap is I would actually just be watching the slumber party from a computer monitor at home base. Let the military men face the booby-trapped house and let the teen girls face the weird vampire family or lame Augers.
Yes, if I mess up switching cameras or triggering traps I will have people's blood on my hands, but, you know, that's their problem. The real problem with living in the world of Night Trap is that I would be sent back to 1992, and I'm not sure if I fancy my chances of survival back then.
1 Luigi’s Mansion
Literally nothing in Luigi's Mansion really wants to kill anyone; they just want to have a spooky fun time.
I am not a big fan of the idea of being near Gooigi for any period of time though.