Hot Wheels is a brand that has a lot of fondness in my heart. As a kid, I grew up playing with toy cars all the time, and Hot Wheels ones were some of the very best. Sure, you could pick up those massive packs from any supermarket, but their wheels would inevitably fall off or they'd break in some other manner within a week. Hot Wheels, however, those lasted. I bet if I were to look through some of the old stuff at my parents' house, I could still find them in decent condition, despite sitting in the basement for about 16 years.

Not all Hot Wheels are created equal though. Some of them, over the years, have been hilariously bad or weird. I'm not talking bad quality: these are all sturdily-made, I'm sure, but oh boy. The designs are "inspired," and not in a good way. For example, they made a car that is quite literally a toilet with wheels. Who would want that? Why would it exist? Similarly, why would a car with a scorpion tail exist outside of G.I. Joe? In this list, we're going to celebrate the madness that occasionally seems to overtake Hot Wheels' design department, leading them to believe such weird cars are acceptable to put out on the shelves. From the mystifying to the ugly to the just plain bad, you'll find them all on this list. What's the worst example of a peg warmer you've ever seen? Let us know in the comments!

30 Sting Rod II: A Weird Hybrid

Via youtube.com

This car is a follow-up to the original Sting Rod, that was released all the way back in the 90s. The key difference between the two models is that, while the first generation model was actually a military-looking vehicle, this looks like an ordinary coupe. Yet, nonetheless, it's a coupe that manages to wield three missiles on its back, for no discernible reason. They're also molded to the body, so good luck if you want to actually launch them, or have some fun.

29 A Kaiju With Wheels, Rodzilla

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

Another "rod," this car looks like it was made for some obscure drag racing competition back in the 1980s then left to decay in a barn somewhere. It has a totally bizarre dragon's head on the front that does nothing to boost the car's looks, and also makes it very breakable. The head can be turned 360 degrees, which may come in useful if the driver decides to roast himself due to the shame of driving this hunk of junk.

28 Le Mans Would Refuse Prototype H-24

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

Designed to emulate the Le Mans cars of the 70s, this car looks okay at first glance. Then you take a closer look at it, and you realize just how weirdly designed it is. Why does it have the exhaust pipes right next to the cabin, at prime ankle-burning height. What's with the weird wings and the pipes behind the driver? It just doesn't work as a sports car, and if that's what it's really trying to emulate, it really needs a redesign.

27 Troy Soldier Would Be Better If It Hid Greek Soldiers

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

This car was only released back in 2012, and looking at it, I see why it has never been reissued. It looks like a long-forgotten and abused hot rod from the 1950s. Look at that crest. Tell me that's good looking. You're lying, if you think it is. Then there's the huge air intake below it, that ruins the car's whole look. Even worse, you could get this car in a shiny metallic gold, for the ultimate in gaudy toy cars.

26 Hot Seat Should Have Been Flushed

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Look at this. This is what I was talking about in the intro. It's literally a toilet on wheels. Why. Who thought that this was a good idea? What kind of things were consumed at the corporate offices to make it seem like one? It was produced for a whole six years too, from 1998 to 2004. It's got a plunger that serves as a steering wheel. Hilarious. Genuinely the worst car ever made by Hot Wheels, this should have been canned, in more ways than one.

25 Unobtanium I: I Wish It Was

Via youtube.com

I don't really need to explain why this one is bad, do I? Its gold paint renders the whole thing incredibly ugly, to the point that I wouldn't even want this in my house for fear of it bringing some bad style juju with it. It's a shame it's so ugly, as the shape of it is actually pretty nice, and if it were in any other color, I think the chrome of the hood would work wonderfully. As it is, however, it looks like the sort of thing a mid-level rapper would make.

24 The Lakester Wouldn't Last Two Minutes On The Salt Flats

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

This thing looks like a Beetle. I don't mean a VW Beetle. I mean an actual beetle. If this thing were to scurry out from under a rock in my garden, I think the only part of it I'd find odd is the wheels. Those, I admit, would give me pause. This thing is, I guess, meant to emulate the cars that blasted across the Utah salt flats to set land speed records. It's just so ugly, though, that I can't imagine any kid (or adult, for that matter) picking one of these off the shelf.

23 The Whip Creamer Deserves A Flogging

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

What even is this car supposed to be? With its strange stance, its glass roof, and strange vents, it looks like that car Homer Simpson designed for his brother's company. This car has been produced by Hot Wheels just twice in history, once in 1970, and again in 1994, and can't you just see why. Like Unobtanium, I'm not averse to its body shape, and if some more work had gone into its looks, it could have been a very cool looking car, but as it is, it's absolutely terrible.

22 No Ride Beats The Snow Ride

Via allegro.pl

When you think Hot Wheels, you think of cars, don't you? I know that I do. Nevertheless, in 2010, Hot Wheels decided to try their hand at making a to-scale snowmobile. Why? Who knows. What I do know is that while most snowmobiles in real life look pretty sleek, this thing looks ugly. It's too chunky, it's got a bunch of unnecessary detailing that makes it look positively clunky. I'm pretty sure any skier or snowboarder who got on this thing would die of embarrassment.

21 Rail Rodder: Doc Brown, Is That You?

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Remember back at the end of Back To The Future 3, where Doc Brown shows up in his train time machine? That was pretty cool, but it was only cool by virtue of it being a time machine! And besides, I don't think anyone would have picked it over the Delorean, given the choice. This train is another attempt by Hot Wheels to venture outside what they do best, with terrible results. It's a hot rod train, and is every bit as bad as that sounds.

20 The Fatbax Mustang: A Shame To Ford

Via ebay.com

All of the Fatbax cars are utter disasters. Their "fat" style comes from their huge rear wheels, which bulge out at either side, making it look for all the world like a car body mounted on a rolling pin. The level of detail, or rather, the lack of it, is what truly shames this car, however. It looks like a smart car that's been jacked up. None of that famous Mustang styling remains on the body at all. It could be literally any car on those wheels, and it wouldn't matter.

19 Bad To The Blade: Self-Descriptive

Via hobbydb.com

Originally introduced in the promotional documentary Fearless At The 500, this is a properly weird little car. If Formula 1 cars and rockets had a baby, that was then raised by The Punisher, this would be the result. Actually no, that makes it sound way too awesome. It looks so tacky, though! With its little concealed cabin and the skull logos, not to mention a paint scheme that looks like it was the result of Jackson Pollock, it just doesn't work in any way.

18 Not Hitting Any Birdies: Fore Wheeler

Via hotwheels.wikia.com

Also known as Tee'd Off, this car is another one of those concepts that sound good on paper, only to devolve when pressed into diecast metal. A golf cart with a huge engine at the back, it does not for some bizarre reason, have any stance changes over a normal golf cart. Maybe that engine is super-lightweight. I don't know. What I do know is that this model is practically worthless in any aesthetic stance, it's only good point being that it can actually be used as a golf tee.

17 Motor Psycho: It Really Is

Via flickr.com

This car was originally known as the Popcycle, and you can see why, can't you? The cockpit looks so much like a frozen treat. Inside the cockpit, you can find a bicycle. Why? I don't even know. I can't begin to explain why there's a bike inside this car, or what purpose it serves. Combine the day-glo colored cockpit top with the ugly looks (the front plow/grin is what does it for me), and you have one truly terrible Hot Wheels car.

16 The Truly Tasteless Diamond-Studded Car

Via howstuffworks.com

The most expensive toy car ever made, this car was made to commemorate the 40th anniversary of Hot Wheels, and by god, they made it as gaudy as possible. The cost of this thing was a mean $140,000, and was created by jeweler Jason of Beverly Hills. What is it with companies thinking that if they stick some expensive metals or stones onto something, it's suddenly an aesthetic triumph? I think this is by far the ugliest car on the list thus far.

15 The (Truly) Eevil Weevil

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Man, and I bet you thought you were done with the most insectoid looking Hot Wheels cars already, didn't you? Rocking a big honking tail and some compound eyes, this car doesn't look cool, it just looks creepy. The engine heads split its back open like some weird body horror, while the front features a pair of mechanical pincers. This car is like what would have happened if H.R. Giger had been let loose in the Hot Wheels factory during one of his weirder phases.

14 The Roller Toaster Is Overdone

Via youtube.com

That weak pun in its name isn't even the worst thing about this car, believe it or not. Designed by Ryu Asada in a frankly bizarre break from his usual style, this is literally a toaster on wheels. Featuring a plug on its side and a lever on the back, the attention to detail is nice, but why a toaster? What other kitchen appliances can we expect to be made into cars? Are we going to get a blender next?

13 The Not-So-Hot Hot Tub

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Debuting in 2006, this car is essentially a redesign of the earlier, infamous, Hot Seat. The Hot Tub is, well, a Hot Tub, but if you think that's forgivable, you've not been paying attention. The car is literally nothing but a hot tub on wheels, complete with a ridiculously massive supercharger behind the tub. It's not that this car is actually meant to resemble anything real, I get that, but what I don't get is how clunky and awful it looks. Why is it so bad?

12 The Dragtor Is A Travesty To Every Farmer

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Another one of those "oh-so-delightful" hybrids. This time it's the turn of tractors and drag cars to have a child, and the result is this monstrous thing. It's effectively a tractor, but with two big exhaust pipes. That's literally it. I wish I was kidding, but, like... It's got nothing else going for it over a regular tractor. Its wheels are the same, and its engine doesn't look too insanely different from the sort you'd find on any bit of agricultural machinery.

11 Fangs, But No Fangster

Via hwcollectorsnews.com

Oh boy, we've got a cheaply made corker on our hands with this one. Effectively a dragster, I guess, but with a disgustingly plastic looking reptile body overlaid on it. It looks like some weird offshoot of Reptar from Rugrats. Is it aimed at kids? If it is, surely they deserve better? I'd expect that kids would be able to tell this piece of junk was to be avoided a mile off anyway, frankly. I hope they would be able to, anyway.