I can be a gamer and a dad, the two aren’t mutually exclusive. While my daughter is too young to play games at present, her early bedtime means I’ve got plenty of evenings to spend playing Pokemon Scarlet & Violet or The Witcher 3 at my own pace. However, things are different when it comes to competitive games.

I don’t know if it’s the iron focus, the need to constantly practise in order to keep your skills honed, or the live-service elements of competitive games, but they tend to be much harder to keep up with than other titles. I can jump into a Pokemon battle after not playing for four months since Scarlet & Violet’s release and still wipe the floor with a skilled opponent, but a week off Apex Legends? Suddenly I’m not winning my ones and end my first session back with a miserly sub-zero K/D.

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The same goes for FIFA. I’m not great at FIFA, but I’m not bad. However, I took a year off the franchise in my final year of uni and, when I turned up at a friend’s house with a crate of beer and a controller in my hand, he slotted four or five past me in ten consecutive matches. With competitive games more than any other genre, you’re punished for living a life outside of their cyclical ecosystems.

Apex Legends Mirage, Rampart, and Bloodhound

I’ve had less time to spend playing games since becoming a dad, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Spending time with my family will always take precedence over my solo hobbies, so I’m more selective about the games I spend time with, and how much time I spend with them. Unfortunately, this means that my competitive skills have grown rusty. I still love dropping into World’s Edge or taking to the virtual Anfield pitch, but I lose more often than I win. I just about scrape Gold in Apex’s ranked ladder, which I daresay isn’t too shabby for the handful of hours I put in each week, but when you come up against a three-stack of Diamonds, you’ve got no chance.

That’s why I proffer the idea of dad leagues. You don’t have to be a dad, or even a parent, to participate, but I thought of the idea so I get to name it. This would be a matchmaking system for the time-poor player who still has that competitive streak, lapsed ranked grinders and eager headshotters who can’t be doing with the rigmarole of completing your dailies seven times a week. It’s perfect, there are literally no downsides.

apex legends season 16 mad maggie takes on four opponents

Of course, there are plenty of downsides. A collection of players who all have hectic schedules and little time for gaming will likely make matchmaking impossible. The vastly variable skills of the few players who turn up will make matches unfair. Not to mention the handful of Dad League (yeah, I’m capitalising it now, it’s official) participants may all want to play different games. However, I can dream.

Is it too much to ask that my fingers don’t grow stiff after as little as a fortnight off Fortnite? That my reaction speeds dull to those of an arthritic pensioner if I so much as look at a game other than Apex? That I can be casual and competitive?

That may be an oxymoron. Casual players can’t be competitive players. I agree to some extent. Esports players need to be committed and rigorous in their training. They need to turn up to scrims, analyse VOD reviews, and train like any athlete. But there must be a middle ground. Something not entirely casual, but not as hardcore as a proper tournament. Maybe that’s what Gold rank is for. But maybe there should be something more. Maybe there should be a Dad League.

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