Life is rough on the high seas, and it's apparently particularly rough for pets. The latest update to Sea of Thieves, called Smuggler's Fortune, brings pets to the game. You can have birds and monkeys, just like classic pirates in movies. You can even do some cute things with them like get them to dance to your jaunty tunes and carry them around on your arm. Then there's this other, totally psychotic thing...
Yes, you can launch your poor pets out of a cannon. And as you can see from the video above, they actually go flying off into the abyss. It's really messed-up when you think about it. The poor little guys have no idea what they did wrong and why they need to be launched into the stratosphere. Just look at this sad, unfortunate fellow.
That said, we can rest assured that shooting pets out of cannons does not kill them. PETA will probably still throw a fit, but no harm comes to your little friends. After you get some distance away, they will just automatically teleport back to your side.
The pets are a new addition to Sea of Thieves courtesy of the Smuggler's Fortune update. They can be purchased at a new shop called the Pirate Emporium. This store trades in Ancient Coins, which can be acquired by defeating new Ancient Skeleton enemies or by spending real-world money.
There are two types of pets currently available, birds and monkeys. Bird variants include macaws and parakeets. There are several different tropical colorations, and of course the standard red parrot. The available monkeys are capuchins and barbarys. They come in more standard colors like white, grey, and brown.
As to what pets can do... players are still figuring that out. However, we do know that they can't really impact gameplay in a major way. Since they can be bought with actual money, the developers made them purely for fun. There's no pay-to-win ally here, just a fun little buddy that will perch on your ship's wheel or dance when you play a tune. And yet despite that perfectly harmless lifestyle, some players still feel the need to launch their pets from cannons. Monsters.