Look, we’re not here to tell you how to live your life, but we can virtually guarantee that looking this game up will land you on an FBI watchlist, so proceed with caution.
Alright, not really, but LoveR and the soon-to-be-released remake/remaster/anime abomination LoveR Kiss looks like the sort of game you’d go offline before opening on Steam. An unholy union between Pokémon Snap and your “homework” folder, it’s a pseudo-dating sim that puts players in the role of the most suspect photographer ever as they pose and take pictures of scantily-clad, suspiciously young anime girls.
Obviously, this series is Japanese-only, as it’s really not the sort of content Westerners are used to seeing on quote-unquote respectable digital storefronts like the Nintendo eShop and the PlayStation Store. Technically, there’s been no official word on European and North American localization, but it seems like Westerners looking to get their hands on this one may have to brush up on their Japanese.
To be totally honest, this title does appear to have a few interesting innovations. The Switch version—yes, there will be a Switch version—will allow players to use the undocked device as an approximation of a camera, and it sounds like the quintessential more than a little creepy anime photography experience. Plus, the game will take advantage of modern console’s voice control capabilities by allowing players to tell the girls exactly how to pose. That’s a bit risky, though, as players probably don’t want to be too vocal about what it is they’re doing. Still, voice-recognition technology has been around for, what, twenty-something years, and we’ve only just now found an adequate use for it.
The game features eight different girls, each of which will be romanceable, and the new re-release will add schoolteacher Himari Saiki to the romantic mix. Non-Japanese speaking players should be able to pick her out from the bunch, as she’s the only girl who even remotely looks like an adult. A chemistry trainee looking to find the chemical meaning of love, she’s eager to test some of her new concoctions on the player-character, and… well, we can guess where this is going.
Another new feature exclusive to the re-release will be the ability to pair girls up for photoshoots. You know what they say! Twice the girls, twice the… uh, we don’t actually want to know what they say about that… but it still sounds like a cool addition to the game. Plus, one screenshot seems like you’ll be able to photograph trios of girls… but please don’t go looking up screenshots for this game.
To be perfectly transparent, there’s no actual nudity present in LoveR or its remake. Well, at least not as far as we could tell. Plus, it's not like that kind of stuff would fly on Nintendo hardware, Japan-exclusive or not. That may be a letdown to some, but to others, it's a definite sigh of relief.
Now, excuse us, we’re going to clear our browser history.