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Why National Video Game Day Is A Pointless Holiday

Yesterday was National Video Game Day, which you probably didn't notice because it's a dumb fake bad holiday. Here at TheGamer, we purposely ignored the date and let it pass by with nary a mention out of sheer obstinance. No, we didn't forget, we just don't believe in it.

This is a house of learned professionals. We aren't in the business of floating through life, acknowledging every made up holiday that pops up on Google. No, we subscribe to the belief that there is only one true video game holiday, and it's September 12th, National Video Games Day. That's right, video GAMES.

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Yesterday, July 8th, #nationalvideogameday became a trending tag on Twitter. Every developer, publisher, and mouse-with-too-many-friggin-buttons manufacturer came out of the wood work to wish each other a happy National Video Game Day. Here at TG, home of sophisticated geniuses remember, simply rolled our eyes and went on with business as usual. See, we know something the yuppies don't: National Video Game Day is a stupid fake made-up dumb not real pretend holiday.

Did you see any parades celebrating Sonic and Mario yesterday? Did you get invited to the Master Chief festival to bob for some dang apples? No, you didn't, because there's no such thing as National Video Game Day, and we have proof.

According to Gamehistory.org, the first mention of National Video Game Day in recorded history was found in the 1991 edition of Chase Calendar of Events. The creator of National Video Game Day is credited in the publication as David Earle, President of Kid Video Warriors.

So who is David Earle, and what is Kid Video Warriors? No one knows. Literally, there is zero evidence that David or his organization exist outside of this one blurb in this one publication that feels fit to name their own holidays.

Me: Trying to pretend I care about National Video Game Day

"But surely," someone's probably whining over their mini-can of LaCroix naturally essenced mineral water, "David Earle must have been somebody if they let him name July 8th National Video Game Day?" Quit flapping your gums and I'll tell you what a sham this Chase Calendar of Events is: to get a day named in their little book, all you had to do was pay a fee to "sponsor" it. That's it. Like naming a star: completely meaningless.

So we've got a made up holiday created by the fake president of a pretend club in a phoney book, and the capitalists are using it to sell us a keyboard that changes colors. Wake up, sheeple, rise up gamers!

September 12 is National Video Games Day, the only true video game holiday. Does it have a sturdier history? Well, no, but its games, plural. It just sounds better. THAT'S the holiday we're choosing to acknowledge, ok? See you in September!

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