Call me a party pooper, but something about Nickelodeon All-Star Brawl just doesn’t sit right with me. I’m a massive Smash Bros. fan (shout out to my boy Sora) and by all accounts, studio Ludosity has proven itself to be quite skilled at making action platformers in the past. I’m also a ‘90s kid, the golden era of Nickelodeon when shows like Rugrats, The Wild Thornberrys, Ren & Stimpy, Catdog, Hey Arnold, and Aaahh!!! Real Monsters were all at their peak. Even the ‘00s Nick characters from Avatar, Invader Zim, SpongeBob, and Danny Phantom have a special place in my heart. I love these characters, I love this genre, but I don’t think I can love this game. My major gripe, as petty as it sounds, comes down to the complete lack of voice acting. If Nigel Thornberry doesn’t say “Smashing”, then is it really Nigel Thornberry?
Forgive me for getting a bit ontological, but what makes a character who they are? Who is SpongeBob? Is he his personality, his machine gun giggle, and his unrelenting optimism, or is he a picture of a yellow sponge in khaki shorts? I would argue that a character is not just their silhouette - and they’re certainly not a series of combos and special attacks. I think Ludosity has worked incredibly hard to inject the personality of these characters into their fight moves and taunts, but the game is missing the only thing that would make these characters come to life - their voice.
It’s more than a missed opportunity - I’m actually creeped out by All-Star Brawl. It’s one thing not to hear Zim’s iconic nefarious cackle, Nigel Thornberry’s catchphrase, or the Ninja Turtles’ signature surfer dude affectation, but All-Star Brawl’s fighters are actually completely silent. You’ll never hear so much as a grunt from Aang or a roar from Reptar. Aside from the announcer’s voice and background music, the only thing you’ll hear are generic sound effects. Slapping sounds, slide whistles, the whip of a tail, and the metallic clink of Zim’s spider-legs are the only sounds that characters can make. The effect is a roster of hollow, soulless characters that look like our favorite Nickelodeon stars, but aren’t. They’re rejected clones, they’re sleepwalking somnambulists. This is Invasion of the Body Snatchers. Who are you and what have you done with Catdog?
I’ll never take Smash Bros. fighters for granted now. Every grunt, gasp, and hi-yah adds so much to the personality of the characters and the presentation of the game. When Sora executes a Sonic Blade attack, he shouts “Take this!” just like he does in Kingdom Hearts. When he Aerial Sweeps, he knocks his opponents away and yells “Back off!”. There’s no doubt in my mind that this is the actual Sora in Smash Bros. If he just swung his keyblade around silently, something essential about the character would be lost. Is it fair to compare All-Star Brawl with a behemoth like Smash Bros.? Not really, but when you clone a game as directly as this, you’re begging for comparison - and in this aspect, All-Star Brawl falls short.
This won’t keep people away from Brawl, nor do I think it should. It looks like a competent platform fighter with a lot of beloved characters. I just can’t vibe with a mute SpongeBob Squarepants. He literally never shuts ups, and I’m incredibly suspicious of this silent doppelganger. When someone inevitably mods in voice packs to All-Star Brawl, I’ll be first in line, spamming the “smashing” taunt to my heart's content.